1
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¶ Batman
2
00:00:11,642 --> 00:00:15,077
Alchemical Bank
and Trust company.
3
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A financial institution
so conservative
4
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it pays no interest at all.
5
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But while the customers
and tellers
6
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transact the business
of the day
7
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black magical events
are brewing
8
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for Dr. Cassandra, the evil
alchemist, is about to unleash
9
00:00:31,659 --> 00:00:34,259
her terrible swift sword.
10
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Ready, Cabala?
11
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Like always,
Dr. Cassandra baby.
12
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(Dr. Cassandra)
'Groovy.'
13
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(Cabala)
'Wild.'
14
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(Dr. Cassandra)
'Alright, Cabala.'
15
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[ominous music]
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[knock on head]
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[punching face]
18
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[punching face]
19
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[ominous music]
20
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How can that be?
21
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Twenty six eye-witnesses
who didn't see a thing.
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Ha ha..
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Yes, we'll get
on it right away.
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It's good to have you
with me, Chief O'Hara.
25
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After all these years,
26
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we can anticipate
each other's thoughts.
27
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At times
like this, Commissioner
28
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anyone can
read your mind.
29
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It's Batman
we need and fast.
30
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Very neatly put, Chief.
31
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[grunting]
32
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What's goin' on here?
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[ominous music]
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[grunting]
35
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Yes, Commissioner.
36
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(Dr. Cassandra)
' Bat-Fink.'
37
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Ba--
38
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- Who is this speaking?
- 'Dr. Cassandra'
39
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'World famous alchemist,
occult science practitioner'
40
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'and all around
evil doing swinger.'
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Where's the commissioner?
42
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'Zip your lip while
I lay the word on you, Bat-cat.'
43
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'I'm gonna put Gotham City
in a trance.'
44
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'and there's not a thing
you or that junior birdman'
45
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'can do about it.'
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'Ha ha ha ha.'
47
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What's wrong?
48
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There's a new fiend
in town, Dick.
49
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[maniacal laughter]
50
00:02:20,539 --> 00:02:22,439
To the Bat-poles.
51
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[theme music]
52
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¶ Batman
53
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¶ Batman
54
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¶ Batman
55
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¶ Batman
56
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¶ Batman Batman Batman
57
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¶ Batman Batman Batman
58
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¶ Na na na na na na
na na na ¶
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¶ Batman
60
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[dramatic music]
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[music continues]
62
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[tires screeching]
63
00:03:43,877 --> 00:03:46,678
I arrived just after
whatever happened happened
64
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,913
and applied first aid
techniques, but..
65
00:03:48,915 --> 00:03:50,814
...they're such stubborn men.
66
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Regular Florence Nightingale
she is anyway.
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Oh, it was incredible,
Batman.
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00:03:56,922 --> 00:04:00,223
This mysterious
unseen force, poundings.
69
00:04:00,225 --> 00:04:04,560
To coin a phrase, "there is less
here than meets the eye."
70
00:04:04,562 --> 00:04:05,394
Far less.
71
00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:07,896
Begorrah, Batman,
that Doctor..
72
00:04:07,898 --> 00:04:10,765
...whatever her name is
has struck six times
73
00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,199
'in the past three hours.'
74
00:04:12,201 --> 00:04:13,433
It's impossible
to stop her.
75
00:04:13,435 --> 00:04:17,503
Do you have any description
of her for us to go on?
76
00:04:17,505 --> 00:04:18,637
None, Boy Wonder.
77
00:04:18,639 --> 00:04:22,440
And how can we capture
someone we can't see?
78
00:04:22,442 --> 00:04:23,541
It's all so unbelievable.
79
00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:26,510
There is no such thing
as an invisible man
80
00:04:26,512 --> 00:04:27,377
or invisible woman.
81
00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:30,613
Perhaps we've all been
intentionally baffled.
82
00:04:30,615 --> 00:04:34,984
The way a magician operates.
Now you see it, now you don't.
83
00:04:34,986 --> 00:04:36,585
Holy disappearing act.
84
00:04:36,587 --> 00:04:38,853
Miss Gordon, do you
have any volumes
85
00:04:38,855 --> 00:04:41,255
at the Gotham City
Public Library
86
00:04:41,257 --> 00:04:42,556
on the occult sciences?
87
00:04:42,558 --> 00:04:43,924
Any number of them, Batman.
88
00:04:43,926 --> 00:04:46,293
Perhaps we should
look at them, Robin.
89
00:04:46,295 --> 00:04:48,495
Such a tome might open this..
90
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,630
...door to the unknown.
91
00:04:50,632 --> 00:04:52,865
Good thinking Batman.
92
00:04:52,867 --> 00:04:54,600
But you'll need more than books
93
00:04:54,602 --> 00:04:58,770
to vanquish this
entrancing foe.
94
00:04:58,772 --> 00:05:00,571
[ominous music]
95
00:05:06,511 --> 00:05:08,011
[maniacal laughter]
96
00:05:08,013 --> 00:05:09,746
(Dr. Cassandra)
'Alright, Cabala..'
97
00:05:09,748 --> 00:05:13,416
'...time for our
anti-antidote pill.'
98
00:05:14,684 --> 00:05:15,350
Ha ha ha.
99
00:05:15,352 --> 00:05:17,485
How do these pills work,
doccy baby?
100
00:05:17,487 --> 00:05:18,953
Are we really invisible?
101
00:05:18,955 --> 00:05:21,255
No, Cabala.
But we may as well be.
102
00:05:21,257 --> 00:05:25,025
You see, after taking the pill,
we blend into the background
103
00:05:25,027 --> 00:05:27,727
so perfectly that
no one can see us.
104
00:05:27,729 --> 00:05:29,829
Not even someone else
who takes the pill.
105
00:05:29,831 --> 00:05:31,931
That's why we keep
bumping into each other.
106
00:05:31,933 --> 00:05:33,832
Husbands and wives
are supposed to bump
107
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,333
into each other
now and then.
108
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,869
Now, Cabala, cut the personal
kick. This is business!
109
00:05:38,871 --> 00:05:41,504
Well, can't we cool business?
We've already stolen
110
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:42,671
six hundred
thousand dollars.
111
00:05:42,673 --> 00:05:44,406
Now, now, money isn't
everything, honey.
112
00:05:44,408 --> 00:05:47,675
Cabala, money is what makes
my occult world go round.
113
00:05:47,677 --> 00:05:51,879
The power to make other cats
do what I crave them to do.
114
00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:53,814
- Dig.
- Dug.
115
00:05:53,816 --> 00:05:55,649
Doccy baby,
but why the hang up?
116
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Because I intend to succeed
where my foremothers failed.
117
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Foremothers?
118
00:06:00,755 --> 00:06:02,788
The ancient alchemy bit
has been handed down
119
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for generations
to the females of my family.
120
00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:08,393
All abject failures,
nowheresville.
121
00:06:08,395 --> 00:06:09,660
Yeah, just like my family.
122
00:06:09,662 --> 00:06:11,028
They couldn't wait
for the depression..
123
00:06:11,030 --> 00:06:12,496
...they went broke
during the boom.
124
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:15,699
My great grandmother
discovered how to transmute
125
00:06:15,701 --> 00:06:16,733
base metals into gold.
126
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But she cut out when she added
CH3, CH2, H2, and NO2.
127
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Put them all together,
they spell TNT.
128
00:06:25,543 --> 00:06:28,844
They found pieces of her
as far away as Londinium
129
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,445
Man, that was a trip.
130
00:06:30,447 --> 00:06:33,381
Now, grandma perfected
a universal solvent..
131
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...fell in the stuff
and was universally dissolved.
132
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Wow.
133
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We buried her
in a thimble.
134
00:06:39,454 --> 00:06:42,054
Well, how about
dear old mommy-o?
135
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Ahh, dear old mommy-o
cashed in
136
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:47,458
when she perfected
a perpetual motion machine..
137
00:06:47,460 --> 00:06:49,793
...tripped and was ground
to bits by it.
138
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Man, you sure come from
a long line of winners, baby.
139
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Doesn't hang me up, love.
140
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Because I have a plan
that'll sway your brain cells.
141
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Lay it on me.
142
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:01,635
I'm gonna free
all the arch-criminals
143
00:07:01,637 --> 00:07:03,336
in the Gotham State bastille.
144
00:07:03,338 --> 00:07:04,804
Slip them my camouflage pill
145
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and we'll become
an invisible empire
146
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with yours truly as queen.
147
00:07:08,943 --> 00:07:11,610
Groovy, groovy!
148
00:07:11,612 --> 00:07:12,944
We're gonna steal
this bird blind.
149
00:07:12,946 --> 00:07:16,347
Wait a minute, aren't you
forgetting three things?
150
00:07:16,349 --> 00:07:17,348
Like for instance?
151
00:07:17,350 --> 00:07:20,084
Batman, Robin, and Batgirl.
152
00:07:20,086 --> 00:07:20,951
No hassle, love.
153
00:07:20,953 --> 00:07:24,054
Not when they face
my Alvino Ray Gun.
154
00:07:24,056 --> 00:07:25,755
Alvino Ray Gun?
155
00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:26,589
What does it do?
156
00:07:26,591 --> 00:07:29,058
Spreads a mess
of wild vibrations.
157
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:32,861
- Aah, marv, just marv!
- Let's split.
158
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:39,800
A-aha! Just as
I suspected.
159
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:40,901
What is it, Batman?
160
00:07:40,903 --> 00:07:44,604
This medi quack,
Dr. Cassandra..
161
00:07:44,606 --> 00:07:47,607
...is none other than
Cassandra Spellcraft.
162
00:07:47,609 --> 00:07:51,744
Offspring of the infamous
Spellcraft Clan
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00:07:51,746 --> 00:07:53,679
a group ne'er-do-well alchemists
164
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who couldn't even make the grade
in girl's pharmacy school.
165
00:07:58,085 --> 00:08:00,518
Holy unrefillable
prescriptions.
166
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:03,988
- Is she really a doctor?
- She isn't even a nurse.
167
00:08:03,990 --> 00:08:04,688
[beeping]
168
00:08:04,690 --> 00:08:08,158
- What's that?
- The portable Bat-phone.
169
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,160
Yes, commissioner.
170
00:08:11,028 --> 00:08:12,895
We'll be right there.
171
00:08:12,897 --> 00:08:14,696
A new development?
172
00:08:14,698 --> 00:08:17,732
Dr. Cassandra has
challenged us, Robin.
173
00:08:17,734 --> 00:08:19,700
She's called the commissioner
and announced
174
00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:21,068
that she'll steal
the Mope diamond
175
00:08:21,070 --> 00:08:26,840
from Spiffany's Jewelry Salon
at precisely 2 o'clock.
176
00:08:26,842 --> 00:08:28,041
That gives us..
177
00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:31,077
...twenty minutes
to thwart her.
178
00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:32,845
Let's go, Robin.
179
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:37,482
While in Spiffany's
Jeopardized Jewelry Salon
180
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:42,687
on Gotham City's
fashionable 15th Avenue..
181
00:08:42,854 --> 00:08:44,654
[ominous music]
182
00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:51,061
Welcome to Spiffany's, folks.
183
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:54,864
I am G. David Shine.
May I serve you today?
184
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:55,898
Oh, just browsing, dad.
185
00:08:55,900 --> 00:09:00,068
One does not browse
at Spiffany's, madam.
186
00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,969
One either buys or one leaves.
187
00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:06,273
Shall I deck him, doccy baby?
He's tryin' to put us down.
188
00:09:06,275 --> 00:09:07,040
Cool it, love.
189
00:09:07,042 --> 00:09:10,009
We don't wanna
blow the scene.
190
00:09:10,011 --> 00:09:11,744
Listen, dad..
191
00:09:11,746 --> 00:09:12,244
Tell me..
192
00:09:12,246 --> 00:09:14,679
How much you're asking
for the big rock there?
193
00:09:14,681 --> 00:09:16,847
(David Shine)
'What you call a rock, madam..'
194
00:09:16,849 --> 00:09:21,985
...is the Mope Diamond and is
not for sale at any price.
195
00:09:21,987 --> 00:09:23,219
Not for sale.
196
00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:25,788
Then I guess we'll just
have to kipe it.
197
00:09:25,790 --> 00:09:28,056
- Cabala, do your thing.
- I'm hip.
198
00:09:28,058 --> 00:09:30,892
You'll do no such thing,
Dr. Cassandra.
199
00:09:30,894 --> 00:09:31,592
Aah, Batman!
200
00:09:31,594 --> 00:09:34,194
So you've decided
to take a crack at us.
201
00:09:34,196 --> 00:09:35,195
But I've got your number.
202
00:09:35,197 --> 00:09:37,931
And what about me?
Do you have my number too?
203
00:09:37,933 --> 00:09:42,201
Other women's numbers
don't interest me, Batgirl.
204
00:09:42,702 --> 00:09:45,003
Glad to have you
flanking us, Batgirl.
205
00:09:45,005 --> 00:09:46,337
I wouldn't miss it
for anything.
206
00:09:46,339 --> 00:09:49,306
- Looks like it's pill time.
- Keep your cool, love.
207
00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:53,977
The tiresome trio
are about to really rock.
208
00:09:55,212 --> 00:09:56,178
A gun?
209
00:09:56,180 --> 00:10:01,583
Aren't you a little above that
sort of thing, Dr. Cassandra?
210
00:10:01,585 --> 00:10:03,051
No style.
211
00:10:03,053 --> 00:10:06,220
This is the kickiest weapon
you ever dug, Batman.
212
00:10:06,222 --> 00:10:09,089
My own unpatented
Alvino Ray Gun.
213
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:12,325
And it's the last thing
you're about to see.
214
00:10:12,327 --> 00:10:14,126
[intense music]
215
00:10:14,927 --> 00:10:16,827
[ray gun whirring]
216
00:10:23,267 --> 00:10:27,370
What are you doing
to-to-to our bo-bodies?
217
00:10:27,372 --> 00:10:31,340
Doccy baby, you are
super psychedelic.
218
00:10:32,108 --> 00:10:34,609
Holy helplessness.
219
00:10:34,611 --> 00:10:36,944
I feel like
I'm getting flat!
220
00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:37,711
What a pity.
221
00:10:37,713 --> 00:10:40,046
That's exactly
what's happening, Batgirl.
222
00:10:40,048 --> 00:10:42,648
This gun is altering
the structure
223
00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:43,749
of your molecular cells
224
00:10:43,751 --> 00:10:46,885
and revving
your third dimensions.
225
00:10:49,321 --> 00:10:51,088
[maniacal laughter]
226
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:54,624
Stack 'em up, love.
While I grab the diamond.
227
00:10:54,626 --> 00:10:56,258
Go, Baby.
228
00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,192
Just a moment, madam.
229
00:10:57,194 --> 00:10:58,693
Attacking the terrific trio
is one thing.
230
00:10:58,695 --> 00:11:02,063
(David)
'That's not my business, and
I don't want to get involved.'
231
00:11:02,065 --> 00:11:05,933
'But stealing the Mope diamond
is another matter completely.'
232
00:11:05,935 --> 00:11:09,903
Dad, how would you like
to get mailed home?
233
00:11:09,905 --> 00:11:10,670
C-O-D.
234
00:11:10,672 --> 00:11:15,307
Would you like the diamond
giftwrapped, madam?
235
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:17,075
Mm-hmm.
236
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,378
We should have heard
from them. I am worried.
237
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,747
I'm sure there's
nothing wrong, Commissioner.
238
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,715
Batman's never failed
us yet.
239
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:27,117
A Bat-fight seldom takes
more than 40 seconds
240
00:11:27,119 --> 00:11:28,852
and they're already
half an hour late.
241
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:33,923
Oh, they should be coming
through that door, right now.
242
00:11:34,157 --> 00:11:37,659
Oh, it must be
some sort of prank.
243
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:48,102
I can't believe me eyes,
Commissioner.
244
00:11:48,104 --> 00:11:50,771
But I must believe
what I feel.
245
00:11:50,773 --> 00:11:53,306
And I feel their pulse.
246
00:12:00,247 --> 00:12:02,214
(Commissioner Gordon)
'We've had six medical opinions'
247
00:12:02,216 --> 00:12:03,882
'and each one confirms
the one before.'
248
00:12:03,884 --> 00:12:06,851
Well, you know how those doctors
stick together, Commissioner.
249
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,452
Nevertheless,
the fact remains.
250
00:12:08,454 --> 00:12:11,087
There's no known medical way
to restore them.
251
00:12:11,089 --> 00:12:14,824
So all we can do is make them
as comfortable as possible
252
00:12:14,826 --> 00:12:18,327
while they live out
their sightless, soundless
253
00:12:18,329 --> 00:12:23,298
selfless,
well-flattened lives.
254
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,199
- 'What about the voice?'
- 'What voice?'
255
00:12:25,201 --> 00:12:27,367
You know, the voice
that answers the Bat-phone
256
00:12:27,369 --> 00:12:30,103
every now and then
and asks us to hold on.
257
00:12:30,105 --> 00:12:31,938
Maybe he can help us,
whoever he is.
258
00:12:31,940 --> 00:12:36,175
It's worth a try.
Anything's worth a try now.
259
00:12:37,744 --> 00:12:39,444
[beeping]
260
00:12:40,712 --> 00:12:43,113
I'm afraid he's not here,
Commissioner.
261
00:12:43,115 --> 00:12:44,948
But I--
262
00:12:44,950 --> 00:12:46,916
What?
263
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,217
Oh, my word!
264
00:12:48,219 --> 00:12:52,955
That is a bit of a sticky-wicky,
if I may say so.
265
00:12:52,957 --> 00:12:55,057
Hmm?
Mm-hmm.
266
00:12:55,059 --> 00:12:55,891
Alright.
267
00:12:55,893 --> 00:12:58,159
Have them sent
care of general delivery
268
00:12:58,161 --> 00:13:01,295
to the main Gotham City
Post Office and..
269
00:13:01,297 --> 00:13:04,097
...I'll see what I can do.
270
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:10,236
Here's your Alvino Ray Gun,
doccy baby. Now what?
271
00:13:10,238 --> 00:13:12,972
Cabala, I've told you,
cool the personal kick
272
00:13:12,974 --> 00:13:16,842
whenever alchemy and occult
sciences are involved.
273
00:13:16,844 --> 00:13:18,143
And they're involved
right now.
274
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,246
Yeah, but with all the loot
we've grabbed the Mope Diamond
275
00:13:21,248 --> 00:13:23,314
in our possession
and the troublesome trio
276
00:13:23,316 --> 00:13:24,848
hot off the press,
as it were--
277
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:28,384
It's not enough!
I want Gotham City on its knees.
278
00:13:28,386 --> 00:13:30,119
My foremothers
couldn't do it
279
00:13:30,121 --> 00:13:32,054
but I'm gonna
beat this town.
280
00:13:32,056 --> 00:13:35,957
Beat it, baby.
We'll foil it together.
281
00:13:35,959 --> 00:13:38,859
Look at them,
six tiny pills.
282
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,527
And six unseen arch-criminals
283
00:13:40,529 --> 00:13:43,062
about to wreak
untold havoc.
284
00:13:43,064 --> 00:13:46,198
The thought of it
blows my mind.
285
00:13:46,432 --> 00:13:49,434
Meanwhile at the Gotham City
Post Office..
286
00:13:49,436 --> 00:13:53,304
...trusty Alfred disguised
as a doddering dodo
287
00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:58,342
accepts delivery
of the human parcel post.
288
00:14:01,245 --> 00:14:03,179
While at Gotham State Prison
289
00:14:03,181 --> 00:14:08,984
Dr. Cassandra is up to some
special delivery of her own.
290
00:14:08,986 --> 00:14:10,919
[alarm blaring]
291
00:14:12,087 --> 00:14:14,288
- What's goin' on here, Captain?
- Beats me, Warden.
292
00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:18,125
All the electric alarms went off
like somebody walked through
293
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:19,526
and my men
never saw a thing.
294
00:14:19,528 --> 00:14:21,294
Are the prisoners
in their cells?
295
00:14:21,296 --> 00:14:22,995
Like the day
they were brought in.
296
00:14:22,997 --> 00:14:25,998
What about the special
arch-criminal wing?
297
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,366
Same thing.
298
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:30,369
[alarms blaring]
299
00:14:31,137 --> 00:14:32,871
Must have been--
300
00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,806
Must have been
a short circuit.
301
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:35,339
'Ha ha ha.'
302
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:39,009
- Guess again, square ball.
- Who are you?
303
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,410
How did you get in here?
Get out!
304
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:44,180
My name is Dr. Cassandra.
I walked through the front door
305
00:14:44,182 --> 00:14:45,881
and I'm not walking out.
306
00:14:45,883 --> 00:14:48,049
Keep them covered
with this, Cabala..
307
00:14:48,051 --> 00:14:48,983
Right, doccy baby.
308
00:14:48,985 --> 00:14:51,318
...while I speak
to my friends.
309
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,852
Over there, men.
310
00:14:52,854 --> 00:14:54,486
What kind of gun
is that?
311
00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,588
This is the doctor's
Alvino Ray gun, man.
312
00:14:56,590 --> 00:15:00,158
(Cabala)
'Now don't move or you're both
flat as flounders.'
313
00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,927
Hello, darlings.
This is your leader speaking.
314
00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:06,297
(Dr. Cassandra on intercom)
'In ten seconds,
I'll pull the switch'
315
00:15:06,299 --> 00:15:10,100
'that will release all
the arch-criminals.'
316
00:15:10,234 --> 00:15:12,969
I'm sorry I can't do the same
for the rest of you.
317
00:15:12,971 --> 00:15:16,305
(Dr. Cassandra)
'But too many crooks
spoil the broth.'
318
00:15:16,307 --> 00:15:19,174
You know how it is.
319
00:15:19,176 --> 00:15:20,842
Alright!
320
00:15:20,844 --> 00:15:22,176
Ready..
321
00:15:23,378 --> 00:15:24,511
...ten..
322
00:15:24,513 --> 00:15:26,045
...nine..
323
00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:27,246
...eight..
324
00:15:27,248 --> 00:15:29,114
...seven..
325
00:15:29,116 --> 00:15:30,248
...six..
326
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,415
'...five..'
327
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:32,315
'...four..'
328
00:15:32,317 --> 00:15:34,383
- '...three..'
- 'Go, baby.'
329
00:15:34,385 --> 00:15:35,517
...two..
330
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:36,851
...one..
331
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,954
- Blast off!
- Wohoo!
332
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:41,521
[hysterical laughter]
333
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:45,424
'Darlings, meet me
at the front gate.'
334
00:15:45,426 --> 00:15:48,960
[hysterical laughter continues]
335
00:15:54,566 --> 00:15:58,468
I do hope I didn't get my
transistors squitched
336
00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:00,036
sir, uh.. miss.
337
00:16:00,038 --> 00:16:05,241
Either you come out
three dimensional or..
338
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:07,543
...no dimensional.
339
00:16:09,279 --> 00:16:12,014
Well, here goes.
340
00:16:12,016 --> 00:16:15,117
[machine whirring]
341
00:16:18,488 --> 00:16:19,354
Alright..
342
00:16:19,356 --> 00:16:24,092
...I best get the Batmobile
back wherever it may be.
343
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:27,361
And..
344
00:16:27,363 --> 00:16:32,466
...take my departure before
Batgirl recognizes me.
345
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,037
[intense music]
346
00:16:58,993 --> 00:16:59,993
Where are we?
347
00:16:59,995 --> 00:17:02,695
- What happened?
- This is the Bat-cave, Batgirl.
348
00:17:02,697 --> 00:17:05,464
- Holy giveaways.
- Not exactly, Robin.
349
00:17:05,466 --> 00:17:07,065
She may know,
this is the Bat-cave.
350
00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,368
But she doesn't know where
the Bat-cave is located.
351
00:17:10,370 --> 00:17:12,103
It's very impressive.
352
00:17:12,105 --> 00:17:13,304
And functional.
353
00:17:13,306 --> 00:17:15,172
How do you suppose
we got here and..
354
00:17:15,174 --> 00:17:19,109
...and who changed us back
to our normal shapes and sizes.
355
00:17:19,111 --> 00:17:20,677
I have my own
suspicions, Batgirl
356
00:17:20,679 --> 00:17:23,012
which I don't think
I should disclose.
357
00:17:23,014 --> 00:17:24,246
Of course, Robin,
I understand.
358
00:17:24,248 --> 00:17:27,449
We'll get on it right away,
Commissioner.
359
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:30,984
Dr. Cassandra..
360
00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:33,152
...has engineered..
361
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,487
...an incredible mass escape..
362
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,590
...of all of Gotham City's
arch-criminals.
363
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:39,591
Holy catastrophe!
364
00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:43,628
- How do we stop them?
- We have to find them first.
365
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:44,629
Which calls for the special
366
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:48,199
Escaped Arch-Criminal
Bat-locator on the Bat-computer.
367
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:49,700
Good thinking, Robin.
368
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,436
[switches clicking]
369
00:17:54,005 --> 00:17:55,238
That must come
in quite handy.
370
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,341
Quite. Every crime fighter
should have one.
371
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:03,546
According to this,
they'll be in the basement
372
00:18:03,548 --> 00:18:08,250
of the Mortar and Pestle
building on Abracadabra Alley.
373
00:18:08,252 --> 00:18:09,352
But how can we get there?
374
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:12,855
Isn't the Batmobile still parked
in front of Spiffany's--
375
00:18:12,857 --> 00:18:14,756
[engine whirring]
376
00:18:15,157 --> 00:18:17,725
Look, here it comes now.
377
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,660
How in the world
did you manage that?
378
00:18:20,662 --> 00:18:23,329
There's no time
for that now, Batgirl.
379
00:18:23,331 --> 00:18:25,731
To the alley!
380
00:18:34,373 --> 00:18:39,110
I'll have to put you to sleep
until we reach the city.
381
00:18:39,112 --> 00:18:39,743
To sleep?
382
00:18:39,745 --> 00:18:44,180
So you won't learn
the location of the Bat-cave.
383
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:45,781
Alright, Batman.
384
00:18:45,783 --> 00:18:48,316
Guard your face,
Robin.
385
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:50,484
[hissing]
386
00:18:53,788 --> 00:18:55,655
You know something,
Batman?
387
00:18:55,657 --> 00:18:56,856
What's that, Robin?
388
00:18:56,858 --> 00:18:59,592
She looks very pretty
when she's asleep.
389
00:18:59,594 --> 00:19:01,694
I thought you might
eventually notice that.
390
00:19:01,696 --> 00:19:04,530
That single statement
indicates to me the..
391
00:19:04,532 --> 00:19:09,268
...first oncoming thrust
of manhood, old chum.
392
00:19:12,672 --> 00:19:14,172
Alright, darlings.
393
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:16,841
Here's how we divvy up
the territory.
394
00:19:16,843 --> 00:19:21,378
Catwoman gets all
the fish market areas.
395
00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:23,480
Egghead, poultry farms.
396
00:19:23,482 --> 00:19:27,617
- Penguin, ponds and park.
- Quack quack.
397
00:19:27,619 --> 00:19:29,251
King Tut, museums.
398
00:19:29,253 --> 00:19:33,355
Riddler and Joker,
all the amusement parks.
399
00:19:33,656 --> 00:19:38,292
Don't forget to tell them how
we cut up the loot, doccy baby.
400
00:19:38,294 --> 00:19:39,393
Oh, yes.
401
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:39,926
Well, darlings..
402
00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,895
...we get 50 percent
of everything you steal.
403
00:19:42,897 --> 00:19:48,433
But in return I provide
camouflage pills and protection.
404
00:19:48,435 --> 00:19:53,204
And don't worry about Batman,
Robin, or Batgirl.
405
00:19:53,206 --> 00:19:56,507
They've made their last scene.
406
00:19:57,842 --> 00:19:59,609
Here are your pills,
darlings.
407
00:19:59,611 --> 00:20:00,543
Pass them around, love.
408
00:20:00,545 --> 00:20:04,547
- One to a customer.
- With pleasure, doccy baby.
409
00:20:04,549 --> 00:20:09,852
Now, you'll blend into the
background for eight hours.
410
00:20:09,854 --> 00:20:13,322
After that, come back
with the loot
411
00:20:13,324 --> 00:20:16,625
and I'll give you all
another dose.
412
00:20:16,627 --> 00:20:17,692
But be careful.
413
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:22,663
Don't get knocked unconscious
or you'll all materialize again.
414
00:20:22,665 --> 00:20:26,233
You foolish,
foolish woman.
415
00:20:26,235 --> 00:20:29,202
Quick, swallow the pills.
416
00:20:32,839 --> 00:20:33,805
They're gone.
417
00:20:33,807 --> 00:20:37,375
Well, how can we fight them
if we can't see them.
418
00:20:37,377 --> 00:20:42,646
We may not be able to see them,
but I feel they're still here.
419
00:20:42,648 --> 00:20:44,481
[dramatic music]
420
00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,416
[maniacal laughter]
421
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,590
[glass shattering]
422
00:21:01,229 --> 00:21:02,796
[grunting]
423
00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:09,936
[maniacal laughter]
424
00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:24,716
[dramatic music]
425
00:21:36,261 --> 00:21:38,395
[Joker laughing]
426
00:21:38,829 --> 00:21:40,362
We're outnumbered
eight to three.
427
00:21:40,364 --> 00:21:43,698
It's not the odds, Robin.
It's the atmosphere.
428
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:44,465
Wait a minute.
429
00:21:44,467 --> 00:21:48,368
They'd be in the same boat
if they couldn't see us.
430
00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:49,869
Right.
431
00:21:54,474 --> 00:21:56,041
[grunting]
432
00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,678
[clattering]
433
00:22:04,649 --> 00:22:06,650
[glass shattering]
434
00:22:15,626 --> 00:22:17,426
[ominous music]
435
00:22:24,934 --> 00:22:28,336
Groovy party, baby.
Groovy.
436
00:22:28,338 --> 00:22:29,537
Something must have
gone wrong.
437
00:22:29,539 --> 00:22:34,041
Alchemy is a highly specialized
chemical science, Dr. Cassandra.
438
00:22:34,043 --> 00:22:35,776
Sometimes even experts
go wrong.
439
00:22:35,778 --> 00:22:37,744
And obviously
something went wrong
440
00:22:37,746 --> 00:22:41,547
with your last batch
of camouflage pills.
441
00:22:41,549 --> 00:22:44,917
Oh, you goof, doccy baby.
The family curse again.
442
00:22:44,919 --> 00:22:48,620
Well, nothing's gone wrong with
my flattening Alvino Ray Gun.
443
00:22:48,622 --> 00:22:49,887
(Batman)
'It won't work,
Dr. Cassandra.'
444
00:22:49,889 --> 00:22:54,358
I took the precaution of
inserting an Anti-Alvino Ray
445
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,761
Bat-disintegrater
in my utility belt.
446
00:22:57,763 --> 00:22:59,028
[snaps fingers]
447
00:22:59,030 --> 00:23:00,529
Batgirl..
448
00:23:00,531 --> 00:23:03,732
...telephone Commissioner Gordon
and his men in blue.
449
00:23:03,734 --> 00:23:04,766
Tell them
to come here. Robin!
450
00:23:04,768 --> 00:23:09,103
Round up the rest of these
artless arch-criminals.
451
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:23,517
Commissioner, you don't suppose
Dr. Cassandra and Cabala
452
00:23:23,519 --> 00:23:25,519
could pop their way
out of Gotham State Prison?
453
00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:28,054
Not the way Warden Crichton
pops them in, Chief O'Hara.
454
00:23:28,056 --> 00:23:31,457
But if she manages to smuggle
one of her camouflage pills.
455
00:23:31,459 --> 00:23:36,462
The prison matron isn't named
Mrs. Frisk for nothing, chief.
456
00:23:36,464 --> 00:23:38,096
Besides, the warden
had special
457
00:23:38,098 --> 00:23:39,831
polka dot cells
painted for them.
458
00:23:39,833 --> 00:23:43,534
They won't blend
into that background.
459
00:23:43,536 --> 00:23:45,869
Say, my, my..
460
00:23:45,871 --> 00:23:48,504
...this is certainly
a fancy spa.
461
00:23:48,506 --> 00:23:50,105
What did I tell ya,
Commissioner.
462
00:23:50,107 --> 00:23:51,506
Wait till you try Minerva's
463
00:23:51,508 --> 00:23:55,076
eggplant jelly vitamin
scalp massagers.
464
00:23:55,078 --> 00:23:57,611
- Eggplant jelly?
- Ahmm.
465
00:23:57,613 --> 00:23:59,479
That's right, boys.
466
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:02,381
Just register.
467
00:24:03,983 --> 00:24:06,684
Check your valuables.
468
00:24:06,686 --> 00:24:09,653
And after treatment
in my mineral spa
469
00:24:09,655 --> 00:24:12,889
you'll feel like a new man.
470
00:24:12,891 --> 00:24:15,892
I certainly feel like a new man.
471
00:24:15,894 --> 00:24:17,860
Commissioner Gordon
and Chief O'Hara
472
00:24:17,862 --> 00:24:21,730
will indeed feel like
new men after a treatment
473
00:24:21,732 --> 00:24:22,997
in Minerva's Mineral Spa.
474
00:24:22,999 --> 00:24:26,433
For Minerva's treatment
has many surprises.
475
00:24:26,435 --> 00:24:29,035
One, a startling device
for relieving
476
00:24:29,037 --> 00:24:32,505
Gotham City's millionaires
of all their millions.
477
00:24:32,507 --> 00:24:36,809
As you will see
in our next episode.
478
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:44,716
[theme music]
479
00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:47,551
¶ Batman
480
00:24:48,886 --> 00:24:50,753
¶ Batman
481
00:24:52,088 --> 00:24:53,955
¶ Batman
482
00:24:55,157 --> 00:24:57,024
¶ Batman
483
00:24:58,126 --> 00:25:03,763
¶ Batman Batman Batman
484
00:25:05,899 --> 00:25:08,667
¶ Na na na na
na na na na na ¶
485
00:25:08,669 --> 00:25:11,469
¶ Batman