¶ Batman
Another crystal clear day in Londonium.
Though things are getting a bit thick in..
...Superintendent Watson's office
in venerable Ireland Yard.
Before we left Ffogg Place, we had ample evidence
that Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup could be the culprits
you called us here from Gotham City to uncover.
And the delayed action knock out fog capsule that exploded
in the Batmobile cinched it.
Luckily, our general emergency Bat-extinguisher
took care of that.
Do you suppose those highway men might have planted
something similar on Batgirl's cycle, Batman?
Batgirl's cycle?
Yes, she turned up outside Ffogg Place.
Don't ask me how...or why.
Or where she went.
We never really saw her Batgirl cycle, remember old chum?
She may have escaped completely unscathed.
But how could Lord Ffogg be involved
in these robberies, Batman?
With his gout so bad? You saw his foot yourself.
Possibly, an act.
Well, was it an act too that Lady Peasoup invited Miss Gordon
the commissioner's own daughter, to join
the faculty of Ffogg place? Even for a short while?
I strongly recommend she does not accept.
And I strongly recommend that we do not offend
one of the most aristocratic families in the land.
Holy gullibility.
Pardon me, commissioner, but she's headed for trouble.
Lady Prudence, Lord Ffogg's daughter..
[door clicking]
(Gordon) 'Barbara, your ears must be burning.'
We were just talking about you.
Favorably, I trust.
Your secretary asked me to bring this parcel
in to Batman, superintendent.
It just arrived and she said that I need not..
Look out, Batman! It's smoking!
Yes, it seems about to explode.
We better all stand back.
[dramatic music]
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman, Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Batman, Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[intense music]
[bell ringing]
Three silver bells.
Holy tintinnabulation!
They're rather pretty. But what could they mean?
It could be a clue of some kind.
- Or, a come-on. - Exactly, Robin.
Superintendent, isn't there a famous pub somewhere
in Londonium named The Three Bells?
Oh, indeed there is, Batman.
On the river, in the dock area.
Oh, many is the pint of wallop I have there. Ho-ho!
Or had, I should say before the hippies took over.
- Hippies? - The Mod set.
Barnaby Street. They've taken over The Three Bells.
Is there some kind of objective there
that a canny criminal might be interested in?
Hmm, well, ships loading and unloading
in the dock area nearby.
Oh! But wait!
'There's a ship due to leave the dock'
'near The Three Bells late today.'
With a cargo of materials and patents from Barnaby Street.
Bound for our dominions.
Holy rising hemlines.
Are we being dared to stop a robbery of miniskirts, Batman?
And shortly, at Ffogg Place..
Our possible hostage is arriving any minute now, Marmaduke.
And I don't see why the girls and I are expected
to go down to the docks and be by The Three Bells.
It was your idea, my sweet, to lift that cargo
bound for the dominions from Barnaby Street.
Yes, but that was before we decided to fog in
on the crown jewels in the Tower of Londonium.
A master plan involves various stages of preparation, Penelope.
This stage involves not only the purloining
of a shipment of material
thereby controlling the fashion world of Londonium
but getting rid of Batman once and for all.
Batman, who, if he has received my pungent parcel
should be in The Three Bells.
Miss Gordon, your Ladyship.
How nice to see you again, Miss Gordon.
But I'm afraid we've had a slight change of plan.
The girls and I have to run in to Londonium
'and Lord Ffogg has an appointment in the city, too.'
I'm so glad to see your gout is better, Lord Ffogg.
My gout. Oh, yes..
It always improves with a change of weather.
Well, I'll have a chance to meet the rest of the faculty anyway.
'I am the rest of the faculty, Ms. Gordon.'
Along with Lady Prudence, of course.
Speaking of Lady Prudence, sister dear
I think she should remain here with Ms. Gordon.
I think she'll show Ms. Gordon everything
Ms. Gordon should be shown.
Now that we got you all the way up to Ffogg Place again
we're not going to let you go.
Meanwhile in Londonium's dock area..
[intense music]
This is the pub, old chum.
And that appears to be the ship.
With its cargo from Barnaby Street.
- Let's go. - Not you, Robin.
They have strict licensing laws in this country.
A boy of your age isn't allowed in a drinking tavern.
If it's been taken over by hippies in the Mod set..
You're far from Mod, Robin.
And many hippies are older than you are.
Why don't you wait near the Batmobile?
I have a hunch that you'll be of good use there.
You'll know where to find me if you need me.
Right, Batman.
[rock music]
[music continues]
The far crowd from the old days, Your Lordship.
It was more fun when the Three Bells
was full of foot-papes and cut-throats.
Aye. Me folks used to come here then.
The world changes, fellows.
Skirts go up and beers gulped
but the pound note still does it's charm.
'That's right.'
[instrumental music]
Batman!
Batman, indeed.
Delighted to see that your gout is cleared, Lord Ffogg.
You're the second observant person I've met today.
- Care to join us on a pint? - I don't drink.
Not to drink, old boy? What are you doing in this pub?
I suspect you can answer that better than I.
No doubt, I can.
[theme music]
[music continues]
Very agile, Batman. But hardly observant.
(Ffogg) 'Otherwise, you would have realized'
'that every person in this pub'
'knows where his next meal is coming from.'
And while the Caped Crusader is cornered..
[intense music]
Oh, it's Robin, the Boy Wonder.
Oh!
[intense music]
- I'm out of my skin. - You're out of your mind.
He's cut the boat loose. It's drifting away.
With all those crazy Mod materials.
Use your wits, girls. As you've been taught.
- You, too, Duchess. - Groovy.
[intense music]
You twentieth century witch lady, Peasoup.
You know I wouldn't fight a female.
Even a small army of females.
Spoken like a true gentleman, Boy Wonder.
Gosh! What marvelous dreads.
[screaming]
Now, now, now, girls. Stop gushing and pick him up.
We must get out of here.
[intense music]
Back in their rendezvous, outside Ffogg Place..
I don't understand that Lady Prudence, Alfred.
Lord Ffogg's daughter.
But I strongly suspect Lady Peasoup
is running a school for gentle crooks.
(Barbara) 'Not gentle women.'
She told you that?
(Barbara) 'Not in so many words.'
But I think there's strong feeling
between her and her aunt.
And Lady Prudence could be playing
all sides against each other for reasons of her own.
How did you get away?
It wasn't easy. I'll explain later.
Now, back to the city to report to your father.
No. Back to Lord Ffogg's cricket pavilion.
It's the only place she didn't show me, I may learn something.
Lord Ffogg allows no one but his sister and himself inside it.
I'm not sure that I can allow you.
Batgirl can take care of herself, Alfred.
But you can do something for me.
Get a message to my father
telling him that I'll be staying here later than I'd expected.
(Barbara) 'And ask him to alert Batman. Can you do that?'
I can certainly try, miss.
[intense music]
So it's back to being Batgirl for Barbara Gordon.
And in due time..
[intense music]
Slipping in to the forbidden cricket pavilion
at Ffogg Place..
[intense music]
"The Count of Claremont's coin collection?"
"Duchess of Desborough's diamonds."
"Her majesty's priceless snuffboxes."
And "Lady Easterlands jeweled Easter eggs."
[intense music]
But whose side is Prudence on?
[intense music]
[music continues]
While in the Three Bells Pub..
By now, Lady Peasoup should be in control of the boat's cargo.
She should be in control of Barnaby street
and the Londonium world of fashions.
A step closer to the king of crime.
Mounting a suitable throne and wearing the crown jewels.
So we may leave and leave Batman here.
Here, your Lordship?
'Aren't you asking for a spark of trouble, sir?'
- 'Blimey.' - Don't worry, mates.
This dynamic dolt will remember nothing that happened here
when I get through with him.
Thanks to this remarkable device.
Which when fastened to his collar and activated
will reverse the recollection center.
I know nothing about your remarkable device, Lord Ffogg.
But your grizzly game is almost up.
Proof of your villainy is inscribed
indelibly on my mind.
Which will shortly be erased.
Hold his head still.
Behold, no man has ever been more far bound
than Batman at this very moment.
You may untie him.
'He won't be able to move for a moment.'
'When he does, his mind will be completely blank.'
A pretty puzzlement for our friends at Ireland Yard.
Toodle-oo, old boy.
[intense music]
[music continues]
Good gracious, sir. What's happened to you?
I don't know. Who are you, sir?
Who am I?
I better get you to the Bat-cave at once.
Bat-cave?
Yes. You know. The Londonium Bat-cave.
Whatever's happened to Master Robin?
But Robin..
Well, never mind that. We'll talk about that later.
Now, you just get into this car.
Come on.
That's it.
I'll drive.
It appears you're suffering from a severe loss of memory.
Fortunately, however I packed
the recollection psycho Bat-restorer
for this little overseas trip.
Now, sit down, sir.
It won't take a minute.
Here we go.
I don't know about this.
You may hear a bit of a buzzing at first.
[Bat-restorer buzzing]
Ah! Of course! I remember everything now.
You're Alfred, I'm Batman.
But what could've happened to Robin?
I remember leaving him in front of that pub
to guard the boat with Barnaby street's materials.
There was no boat by that dock, sir.
Yes, I remember.
I remember not seeing the boat.
I remember not seeing Robin.
Possibly he's gotten in touch with Commissioner Gordon
at venerable Ireland Yard.
Good thinking, Alfred. I'll place a call
right now to Superintendent Watson.
Sure and it was a fine flight I had over.
And it's a beautiful city you have here too, Superintendent.
I'm only sorry I have to turn right around and go back home.
It's better for you to convey the minutes of the meeting
directly to Mayor Linseed in person, Chief O'Hara.
Rather than trust them to the mails.
I can't argue about that, commissioner.
There's nothing like an Irish carrier pigeon.
[phone beeping]
Venerable Island Yard. Superintendent Watson here.
Oh, hello, Batman!
Oh, yes, of course. It's for you, commissioner.
Yes, Batman.
That perfidious Lord Ffogg
trapped me in the Three Bells Pub, commissioner.
Well, somehow the boat for the dominions
has mysteriously vanished.
The boat vanished?
With it's cargo of... of mini cloth
I'll get the river patrol on it immediately.
Along with Robin?
No, I haven't heard a word from him.
- But, are you alright? - Never better.
I'll get back to you.
Nothing.
How did you find me, Alfred?
Hmm. It concerns Batgirl, sir.
And she's discovered that the finishing school
at Ffogg Manor is for girl criminals.
And she's now investigating
the super secret cricket pavilion there.
She thought you ought to know.
But how did you--
To answer your first question, sir.
I tracked you to the dock area
by the Batmobile Bat-tracking device.
Good show, Alfred.
About Batgirl..
[intense music]
Ah, I see she really is a Batgirl.
Still paralyzed by that paralyzing gas
you turned off, Lady Peasoup.
She'll recover shortly.
And when she does
perhaps she should find herself
in the dungeon with her young male counterpart, Robin.
You ogress! You vixen!
Ha ha! Yes.
Well, the dungeon is immediately below our gallery.
Ladies first.
[intense music]
[telephone ringing]
That must be his Lordship.
He's the only one who knows this number.
Hello? Marmaduke? Where are you?
At my club in Bleatstreet, Penelope.
Did you get that mini material off that Barnaby Street boat?
No. All we got was the Boy Wonder.
He cut the horses on the bed and it drifted down the river.
What are you doing in the cricket pavilion?
I've tried every phone at Ffogg Place.
I'm putting him and Batgirl in the dungeon.
Batgirl?
(Penelope) 'Bats come in both sexes, Marmaduke.'
And this female of the species broke into your treasure trove.
What happened with Batman?
We've taken care of him.
But I've a much better idea for Robin than a dungeon.
[intense music]
Alright, Alfred.
I'll respect your reticence concerning Batgirl.
Thank you, sir.
Finding Robin's the first order of the day.
- The Bat-computer.. - We have no choice.
"Wanch..
"...wench..
...wonch."
It doesn't make sense, Alfred.
Well, perhaps in moving the Bat-computer
is a bit off-kilter, sir.
[Bat-computer dinging]
Winch.
This still doesn't make sense.
(Alfred) 'It may, sir.'
The most prominent winch in Londonium
is in the winch room inside the Tower Bridge.
Which operates the mechanism
which raises the arms of the bridge to let ships through.
It should wind you to death when the next ship comes along.
Torturer, sadist. You're worse than your sister.
A high compliment.
Let's go outside and watch the Boy Wonder die.
Tit-bit, chin, chin, cheerio.
[laughing]
[intense music]
As an approaching ship starts activating Tower Bridge
Robin has good reason to look horrified.
[intense music]
If that ship gets any closer to that bridge, Robin's done for.
Quickly, Alfred. The anti-mechanical Bat-ray
in the Bat-glove compartment.
[intense music]
To save his life, we'll have to zero the Bat-ray
in on the mechanical apparatus and render them useless.
[music continues]
Something's happened.
The blooming bridge has stopped moving.
- Blimey! - Oh!
We better get back in the winch room, governor.
Tally-ho! Here we go!
[intense music]
- How'd you get here? - Down the bascule.
Bascule?
An escapement in which the detent's mounted
on a pivotal axis.
[ship horn blowing]
The dynamic destroyer.
About to destroy you, Lord Ffogg.
[intense music]
[music continues]
[intense music]
That pipe.
Exactly, Batman. My pipe of fog.
[intense music]
What's this?
Batman and Robin fogbound
in the winch room of Tower Bridge?
And Batgirl still paralyzed by paralyzing fog
in the dungeon of Ffogg Place?
By Jove! It's disturbing.
By Jove, it's exciting!
By Jove, it's mystifying.
By Jove, watch the next episode.
By Jove.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman