¶ Batman
(male narrator) Another brisk bright day blossoms in Gotham City.
But is day the only thing that's blooming
or isn't blooming?
The park is ready, commissioner. The police are ready.
All the Flower Children in Gotham City are ready
for their fancy Flower-in, but there are no flowers.
No flowers in Gotham City, Chief O'Hara?
Somehow someone has cornered the flower market.
Uh, mainly the lilacs.
Oh, sure there's gonna be trouble at that Flower-in
with no flowers, begorrah.
Plenty of trouble.
And all because I, Louie the Lilac..
...The Great Louie the Lilac
has cornered the flower market.
What do you expect to gain by that, Louie?
Some of the young people of the Flower Generation
will be the future leaders of the country, Arbutus.
When I have them within my Flower Power
and control their minds
Gotham City will be my garden to loot and plunder.
And later...the world.
To the Flower-mobile.
Let's start with Princess Primrose.
They all tune in on her.
While at the flowerless Flower-in..
¶ I just can't let you go
¶ Yeah I just can't let you go
¶ I just can't let you go
¶ Pretty baby
[indistinct]
¶ Just a little grooving all night long ¶
¶ Don't know what to do
¶ Can't let you..
Some Flower-in, Princess Primrose, without any flowers.
I mean, it's freaky. How can we take a flower of life trip?
Think flowers, Dogwood, you know, just think flowers.
Barbara. Barbara Gordon.
Hello, Thelma.
It's not Thelma any longer, Barbara.
I'm Princess Primrose.
I'm a Flower Child now.
And these are my Flower Friends.
(Primrose) 'We're having a Flower-in, you know.'
It's cool, man, and you'll blow your mind.
I think we'll call you...Hyacinth.
I think you've flipped a pedal or two.
It's Louie the Lilac in his Flower-mobile.
(Primrose) 'I knew Louie the Lilac would come to our rescue.'
There you are, flowers.
Groove, man.
(Louie) 'Lilacs for my Flower Children.'
'There you are, lilacs, lilacs.'
Flowers. Lilacs for my Flower Children.
Flowers. Lilacs. There you are.
All of you. Lilacs. Lilacs.
Ah, Princess Primrose.
Come, let's go back to my greenhouse
and plan our worldwide Flower-in.
[zaps]
[dramatic music]
Away, Acacia.
[engine revving]
Man, now that really gets me uptight.
I mean, Princess Primrose splitting with the Lilac.
I mean, that's a bum trip.
Like these, these plastic flowers ain't worth that, man.
I'm tuned out, you know.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
But, daddy, somehow he mesmerized her
and then drove off with her.
Barbara, the police have many serious things to worry about.
Besides some Princess Primrose being whisked away
from a public park in a Flower-mobile.
That's just it. She wasn't whisked away, she was kidnapped.
I'm sure of it. And she's a friend of mine.
I went to college with her when she was Thelma Jones.
We're late for a meeting with the City Council, Barbara.
- Relax. - I can't relax.
I'm late. I should've been at the library an hour ago.
Barbara, a good librarian is a calm librarian.
[instrumental music]
[beeping]
Of course, Miss Gordon. I'll call him.
It's, um, Commissioner Gordon's daughter, sir.
Barbara Gordon on the red phone?
This is Batman, Miss Gordon.
I probably shouldn't have used this phone, Batman
I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Not at all, we were just putting a flower decal on the Batmobile.
We're to be guests of honor at a Flower-in this afternoon.
That's what I wanted to talk to you about, the Flower-in.
And in Louie the Lilac's isolated greenhouse
which in turn houses his humid Hot House..
I-I don't know what you did to me or why I'm here
but how can I run a Flower-in in this greenhouse?
Flower-ins aren't of prime importance to me, Primrose
it's the Flower Children and you're their princess.
Sometimes I think I'm too much of a ding-a-ling
so does Barbara Gordon.
Barbara Gordon?
The police commissioner's daughter.
Works at Gotham Library.
She was walking through the park this morning
'when you arrived in your Flower-mobile.'
Police Commissioner Gordon.
[zaps]
Alright, Primrose, into the Hot House.
Good place to keep you out of sight
until your friends get my message.
Lock the door.
When the stupefying aromatic spray
from my Pocket Lilac wears off, she may try to get out.
Acacia, you keep your eye on her, you understand?
See that the Hot House lets off more steam than her.
Arbutus, you tail Barbara Gordon.
Who knows what she might've told her father.
Get goin'.
I'm going down to police headquarters
the Batmobile's usually parked in an alley nearby.
This may be my big chance.
I don't dig this three-dollar Princess Primrose.
And I don't dig Louie the Lilac either or his plastic flowers.
I mean, Flower People try to do good and spread joy power.
But all Louie does is make a bad scene.
So let's make a little rumble down at fuzztown.
Come on.
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
Barbara had no right to call you with the red phone, Batman.
It precipitated the first real argument we've ever had.
'Tis a sad thing to hear.
She was understandably concerned about Princess Primrose.
This, this Louie the Lilac, what do you know about him?
(Gordon) 'Very little, Batman.'
We'll check with the Bat-computer
about the present whereabouts of Louie the Lilac.
[intercom buzzing]
- Yes, Bonnie. - 'Commissioner.'
'There are a bunch of Flower Children'
'out here to see you.'
Flower Children? Alright, send them..
Wait a minute, Bonnie. Hold a second.
We'll go out the window using the Bat-ropes.
- Otherwise we'll be mobbed. - Mobbed?
In-in police headquarters?
The Flower Children think we're cool, man
like we turn 'em on, you know.
Yes, please be gentle with your visitors, commissioner.
Although it may not be understood by more literal minds
in their own way they're doing what they can to correct
the world's woes with love and flowers.
[upbeat music]
Alright, Bonnie, I'll see them now.
[coughs]
Brace yourself for some nutty nosegays, Chief O'Hara.
What's that?
It's a flowery little advertising card, Robin.
"Lila's Lilac Shop. 11, Lavender Lane."
This bears investigation.
I strongly suspect that this lilac-colored card
could be...a plant.
[tires screeching]
Lila. Louie.
- Lila. - Yes, Louie.
You may be receiving a couple of unusual customers, Lila..
...Batman and Robin.
Batman and Robin?
If they've fallen for my little ruse.
'You still have some Alba Bulgaria in stock?'
Poison lilacs?
There may be some tired ones around, Louie. Why?
I'm sure that the Dynamic Duo will be overwhelmed
by their fragrance anyway, Lila.
And I'll be there shortly to help you dispose off
the soon to be Creped Crusaders.
Amazing.
Truly amazing.
Look at all these lilacs, Robin.
Good day, gentlemen.
Obviously you haven't been affected by the current
flower shortage in Gotham City.
I guess I'm just lucky.
Lucky or being favored for some special reason?
'I'm afraid I don't understand you, Batman.'
But my display is nice, isn't it?
And I have some other very rare lilacs in the rear room
'if you'd like to see them.'
I'm always interested in the unusual of any species.
I'll bring them out.
[dramatic music]
What do you think?
A wild lilac chase?
I think she makes a delightful distraction
for whatever Louie the Lilac's ultimate scheme may be.
Oh!
(Lila) 'How clumsy of me.'
- I'll get them. - Robin.
Look out, those could be poison Alba Bulgaria.
While in Barbara Gordon's apartment..
I may be imagining things, Charlie
but I think some man followed me home from the library.
He came out the service stairs when I took the elevator.
If he found the fire escape landing
he might very well be out on..
What are you doing on this terrace?
Just admiring the view of Gotham City, lady, that's all.
From my terrace? Faced the wrong way?
The police will be interested in this.
The police ain't gonna be interested
in nothin' at all, lady.
And while Barbara faces her vexatious visitor
what's happening in the Hot House of Louie's greenhouse?
Man-eating lilacs. Holy purple cannibals!
Exactly, Boy Blunder.
A rare species just in from Brazil which I crossed
with even more carnivorous plants.
'And gusty gourmands they are.'
They got ahold of an explorer in the jungle
and left nothing but his shoelaces.
What happened to Princess Primrose, Acacia?
She's drying out in the office.
Flower Children wilt fast.
She and her Flower Friends will do more than just wilt
'before I'm through with them.'
- Come on, let's get outta here. - Oh, yes, Louie.
It's so humid in here.
[chuckles]
Gosh, Batman. What a way to go.
Eaten alive by a lilac.
Well, Robin, at least it's a flowery finish.
With the Dynamic Duo being devoured whole
by a strange species of man-eating lilac
what are we doing here in the Bat-cave?
Maybe this call on the red phone will tell us.
I'm sorry, sir, he's out.
- Out where? - I don't know, sir.
When they left this morning
they were on their way to your office.
When they left here, they were on their way to the Bat-cave
to consult the Bat-computer about a renowned criminal
named Louie the Lilac.
Louie the Lilac?
If you hear from Batman have him contact me.
Of course, sir.
Barbara's phone is dead, Batman is out.
- Nothing is going-- - Ah, now, commissioner.
Watch your blood pressure.
To consult the Bat-computer
about a renowned criminal
called Louie the Lilac.
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
And he hasn't been heard from since.
[clinks]
"Lila's Lilac Shop. 11 Lavender Lane."
At least they're gentle about it, Batman.
I haven't felt one bite me yet.
Man-eating lilacs have no teeth, Robin
it's a process of ingestion through their tendrils.
Batman, we've got to get out of this somehow.
Can't you get to your utility belt and signal Alfred?
No, they've already consumed my utility belt, Robin.
And my hands are entwined by these vicious vines.
Holy Luther Burbank!
How are they doing, Louie?
Ooh, I can't look.
A lilac's digestive processes are much slower than a human
it takes a little time.
You monster.
Monster?
What would your Flower Children think of such language
from their princess?
I'm sure when you speak to them shortly
you'll talk of me in much more endearing terms.
[zaps]
Let's really put my Flower Power to work in the park.
To the Flower-in.
Whilst in Barbara's apartment..
Lady, it don't take no ten minutes to powder your nose
in a locked bedroom.
[footsteps]
Who are you? What do you want?
From one interloper to another
perhaps you might answer those questions.
I ain't interlopin'.
A friend of mine locked herself in the bedroom.
If she locked herself in the bedroom
there must've been a reason for it.
Well, that's her reason and mine, not yours.
You, uh, you got some connection with Batman?
Speaking of connections, what happened to that phone?
She was gonna call the cops.
You ripped out the phone and she locked herself in.
What were you doing here in the first place?
Now, wait a minute, lady.
Everything's gonna be alright. I'm leaving right now.
I'm gettin' outta here.
The cops and her father Commissioner Gordon.
Strange, that looked like Batgirl out on the terrace.
Batgirl?
Oh, Barbara, I've been so worried about you.
And what was Batgirl doing here?
Batgirl?
I believe you saw the intruder
who followed me home from the library.
I tried to call you, but he ripped out the phone.
Put men around this building and have that phone repaired.
When you wanted to be on your own and insisted
on taking an apartment, I..
I was afraid something like this would happen.
Oh, daddy, nothing's happened.
I locked myself in the bedroom. I'm perfectly alright, really.
I still think you should move back home.
Is that what you were trying to call me about?
No, I, I thought you might have dinner with me tonight
but when the line was dead..
Oh, I'm sorry and I'd love to have dinner with you tonight.
But first, I have to go back to the library this afternoon.
I'd only come home for lunch and discovered the intruder.
Well, he won't intrude on you again
I can tell you that for sure.
I hope you're right, Chief O'Hara.
Thank you for being worried about me.
I'll call you when I get home.
Good girl. Bye.
There's a lot of traffic on that balcony today.
I went through your service hall
and then came along the outside ledge
I couldn't risk being caught.
After all, we're the only ones who know our little secret.
There are rumors around that something's happened
to Batman and Robin.
Mr. Wayne, uh, looked into it a bit
but I have reason to believe
that they were last seen in a florist's on Lavender Lane.
Though the Batmobile has been located outside
an isolated greenhouse.
I can't tell all you Flower Children
what a fine and generous man Louie the Lilac is.
'And how he's cornered the flower market'
'to make this Flower-in a success.'
And what hope and dreams he has for us
and the future of the world.
A-and, and what hopes and dreams he has for us..
What's this?
Apparently, Louie's
stupefying aromatic spray has worn off.
'...and..'
You tripped out, Primrose.
Groovy, but in the wrong groove.
You're right, man.
He's tuned out. Rifty.
Now he's putting a period on Batman and Robin
in his poisonous purple pad.
Batman and Robin?
Wow, man, he ought to be called Louie the louse.
Get us out of here, Acacia.
Get us out quick!
After him!
[indistinct chattering]
And shortly back with the semi-digested duo.
One of these monsters is nibbling at my ear, Batman.
I said one of these monsters is nibbling at my ear!
I hear you, Robin.
I've managed to loosen one foot.
There's a flower pot next to it
if I can just kick it through that glass..
Well, we finally got rid of those flower creeps for now.
But I'll get my Flower Power to work yet.
Wonder how the Brazilian man-eaters are doin'
with the Dynamic Duo.
[glass shatters]
Ah! They're not even chewed up a little.
Nor will we be.
A word of advice, Louie
one blast of cool air kills these blooming cannibals
far quicker than they can devour any human repast.
Gosh, yes.
Get Azalea, Petunia.
[grunting]
[shouting]
[dramatic music]
[thud]
[crash]
[grunting]
Not you again.
How did you get mixed up with this?
Maybe some other time and place
we can have a question and answer session, Batman.
But not here.
[music continues]
Louie.
She's got a spray can of powdery mildew.
Don't use it.
Don't use that spray!
Anything it touches molds and decays.
[dramatic music]
They're getting away, Batman.
Don't worry, Robin. Run to the Batmobile.
Alert Commissioner Gordon, he'll round them up.
He's mildewed.
He's wilting.
Maybe mildewed and wilting and molding
and decaying on the outside, Lila
but inside I'm still Louie the Lilac.
And somehow, someday, I'm going to control
the flower market of the world.
And with it
the entire flower generation.
Batman, there's about a thousand Flower Children outside.
They found your Flower-mobile
'and they're after your budding scalp.'
Louie, it looks like it's..
...lilac time for you.
Never.
Never!
Batman, he's throwing himself into the man-eating lilacs.
Don't worry, Robin, that cold blast of air
put those lilacs in a torpor.
Go back outside and calm the Flower Children.
They'll mob me.
Groovy.
And I think your car is arriving.
Batgirl, would you take this young lady..
She's gone, Batman.
She knew when to get out of here.
Smart dame.
Who is she?
I don't know.
I never have, perhaps I never will.
But I wish I did.
¶ Batgirl
¶ Where do you come from? Where do you go? ¶
¶ What is your scene baby? We just gotta know ¶
¶ Batgirl
¶ Are you a chick who fell in from outer space? ¶
¶ Or are you real with a tender warm embrace? ¶
¶ Yeah whose baby are you?
¶ Batgirl
¶ Yeah whose baby are you?
¶ Batgirl
I calmed down the Flower Children
and they've gone, Batman.
And the police have taken Lila away.
I said we'd bring in Louie the Lilac.
[indistinct shouting]
Holy hoofbeats!
Exactly, Robin.
And if I'm not mistaken a band of Bessarovian Cossacks
just rode by.
Olga, wait for me, Olga.
Oh, come on, Eggski.
Darlin', hurry up, we don't have all day.
- Oh, Olga. - Come on!
Olga, wait for me. Wait!
Egghead.
What's he doing back in Gotham City?
And that woman! She looked like a real Tatarn Princess.
I predict that Batman and Robin will soon be getting a call
on the red telephone.
But first, let's rescue Louie the Lilac from those..
...clinging vines.
Be sure to watch the next episode
for what Egghead and a Tatar Princess named Olga
have in store for the Caped Crusaders.
[theme music]
¶ Batman