¶ Batman
(male narrator) The luxury liner, SS Gotham Queen
is only hours out of Gotham City.
Her passengers are enjoying a final meal onboard.
Little knowing it could well be their final meal.
It's been a lovely, voyage, Captain Carlisle.
(Carlisle) 'And a great pleasure for me, Ms. Glaze.'
Seldom have I had a passenger list
including a world-famous ice skating star, such as yourself
and an international scientist from Iceland
such as professor Isaacson to keep me company.
Your field must be fascinating, professor.
Uh, just what is this formula you're taking to Gotham City?
To the world it's a secret formula, Ms. Glaze.
But to you, it's a formula for making instant ice.
I'll be working in an advisory capacity
with the Bruce Wayne Foundation.
What a co-incidence.
I'm opening tonight in an ice review
at the Bruce Wayne Ice Arena.
An iceberg? Just outside the Gotham City Harbor?
And dead ahead.
Reverse engines. I'll tell Captain Carlisle at once.
But the location of this iceberg isn't the only
strange thing about it.
It's what's inside the iceberg.
In Mr. Freeze's unique, new hideout below the waterline.
Our iceberg's been sighted.
But too late for the Gotham Queen I'm afraid.
Activate the ice-magnets.
We'll pull her directly into our iceberg.
And I'm sure we'll be hearing from Ms. Glacia shortly.
[whispering] Captain, iceberg.
Iceberg?
[indistinct chattering]
Professor Isaacson is at the captain's table
'in the ship's dining salon, darling.'
Thank you, Glacia.
Good.
The ship's almost against the iceberg.
Get some more men, go upside the ladders.
When the ship's secure, leap aboard.
Isaacson's at the captain's table.
Bring him back here.
Victory at last.
Soon I'll be able to cover the entire world
with an instant ice cap.
And then you say the kidnappers disappeared
back into the iceberg..
...and somehow the Gotham Queen was released.
We'll ride with the wind, commissioner.
To the Bat-poles.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na na ¶
¶ Batman
[theme music]
[tires screeching]
While the Batmobile glissades toward police headquarters
Mr. Freeze is having his own icy sport
with Professor Isaacson.
Your secret formula for frozen ice, professor.
That's what I want! Where is it?
You mean, it isn't written down?
To keep it a secret formula it's bottled up..
...in here.
And memory is a strange and intangible thing
you frosty-faced fool.
And mine won't work at your command.
We'll see about that, professor.
Frosty! Chillblain!
Dismantle this hideout.
Remove all evidence of our ever having been here.
We'll take this perverse professor
back to Gotham City in the ice-sub.
I have chilling scheme
by which I'll not only gain my ends..
...but permanently deep-freeze the Dynamic Duo.
Go.
Isolde, darling..
...I am going to take you with me.
This little homing seal will come in quite handy
in my little...ice escapade.
Saints preserve us.
Who else could it be, but that ice devil incarnate
'Mr. Freeze?'
Nobody else, Chief O'Hara.
Did you talk to the ship's captain
after the Gotham Queen made port, commissioner?
And he had nothing to add to the preposterous story though..
...I may have anticipated you, Batman.
The liners passenger list in case Mr. Freeze
had an accomplice aboard.
May we take this with us? It might provide us with a clue.
To the Bat-cave.
It looked as though we were in for a long, cold winter
but now, I think we're due for a sudden change in the weather.
Begorrah!
While in Mr. Freeze's present hideout
directly under the rink of the Bruce Wayne Ice Arena.
Darling, your ingenuity is amazing.
Who else would've thought of a hideaway here of all places?
The jet nozzles in this collar keep me
permanently in a sub-zero temperature, Glacia
and allow me to stay alive.
But everyone functions better in a cool environment.
Speaking of cool environment, Frosty
'what does the thermometer read in the quick freezer?'
200 below, boss. Dead on the cold nose.
Professor Isaacson can't
or won't reveal his secret formula to me.
I'm freezing it out of him in the quick freezer.
Oh, how lovely.
Well, I must get upstairs for rehearsal.
'I'll be thinking of you tonight'
'while execute my famous waltzing arabesque'
directly over your head.
[Isolde barking]
It's time for your supper, Isolde.
Soon as it's dark
I have a little errand for you to go on, hmm?
Look at the Bat-computer work on that passenger list.
Here's the passengers on C deck.
All members of a fire place equipment dealers tour?
Unlikely cohorts of Mr. Freeze.
What about this?
Suite A, boat deck, Colin Coldwell.
Hmm, an appropriate name, but Mr. Coldwell is
president of the Coldwell Furnace Company
and scarcely a suspect.
Emma Strunk.
What was that?
Emma Strunk, nothing there.
Just a second, Robin.
Emma Strunk I believe was born Emma Strunk
and later changed her name to Glacia Glaze.
- Holy ice skates! - Exactly!
A world-renowned skating queen
no doubt she booked passage under the name of Emma Strunk
in order to avoid publicity.
Once onboard of course, she would've been recognized.
Yes, ol' chum, I have strange feeling.
That Glacia Glaze was Mr. Freeze's accomplice
on the Gotham Queen.
But what would a talented, beautiful, famous star
like Glacia Glaze see in frostbitten Freeze?
The famous, Rabelais has already answered that for you, Robin.
'With his great wit.'
"To each his own as the woman said when she kissed her cow."
Gosh, Batman.
That's sure great wit alright.
And this could be just the break we..
...and Bruce Wayne are looking for.
Bruce Wayne?
Ms. Glaze is opening in a new ice review tonight
at the Bruce Wayne Ice Arena.
In fact, Mr. Wayne is taking Mrs. Harriet Cooper
a devotee of Ms. Glaze's
backstage before the performance to meet..
...the dazzling...star.
While, Dick Grayson I suppose stays home
and works on his essays on glaciers.
Right again, Robin.
Bonnie, the next time you send in an unannounced visitor
you better send a tank of water and some live fish with them.
But this was attached to one of it's flippers.
Suffering icicles! It's a list of demands from Mr. Freeze.
He's holding Professor Isaacson for ransom.
At midnight, tonight millionaire Bruce Wayne
head of the Wayne Foundation is to make a televised broadcast..
From this office.
(Gordon) 'That the money's ready to be paid.'
(O'Hara) He'll only deal directly with batman and Robin'
'They're to be ready at midnight too'
to act as intermediaries. Otherwise--
Otherwise it may be the blackest midnight
that Gotham City has ever known, Chief O'Hara.
I'll call Batman on the Bat-phone
you get Mr. Wayne on the other.
[intense music]
Yes, commissioner.
Mr. Freeze wants what?
[phone ringing]
Hello?
I'll see of I can get him, Chief O'Hara?
A moment, commissioner.
Uh, Chief O'Hara, this is Bruce Wayne.
Mr. Freeze wants what?
Commissioner Gordon is on the other phone
with Batman, Mr. Wayne.
Perhaps, if we put the two phones together
you could talk to him yourself?
Alright, Chief, I don't have much time.
Batman?
Yes, Mr. Wayne.
Have you heard Mr. Freeze's scurrilous demands?
Just briefly.
If Robin and I hacked his go-betweens
are you prepared to make the telecast and pay the ransom?
I have no choice, Batman.
Then, may I suggest you tape the broadcast
'from the commissioner's office an hour earlier.'
'And we will have a dummy package of money.'
A dummy package of money that sounds...risky.
Risk is our business, Mr. Wayne.
Of course, Batman, I have the same faith in you
that all of Gotham City has.
I hope Robin and I are deserving of that faith.
I'll make the necessary arrangements
and meet you at the commissioner's office at 11.
Fine.
'Did you get all that, commissioner?'
Indeed I did, Batman.
We'll set up the tape telecast
and have the dummy package of money waiting.
See you at 11 tonight.
Two fine men..
...so dissimilar in many respects and yet..
...yet so similar in others.
And presently, backstage at the ice arena
in the dressing room of Glacia Glaze, nay, Emma Strunk.
I'm about to go on, darling.
What's happening?
Nothing will happen until midnight, Glacia.
But if Wayne agrees to my terms
and Batman and Robin delivers the money
everything's in the ice-bag.
Do I have a chilling clincher for the Caped Crusaders.
Oh, I'll bet you do.
Have you frozen the professor's formula out of him?
We're about to remove the professor
'from the quick freezer now.'
[knock on door]
Hello? Glacia?
Glacia?
What happened to this..
Mr. Wayne couldn't find the stage manager, Glacia
so I offered to bring him and Mrs. Cooper to your room.
Thank you, Carol.
How nice to meet you both.
But I'm afraid things are a little chaotic around here.
Your whole day sounded chaotic, Ms. Glaze
weren't you on the Gotham Queen?
A ghastly experience, Mr. Wayne.
I'd rather not talk about it.
Of course.
But how lovely you look.
(Harriet) 'And such a pretty dressing room.'
Oh, my!
What a darling compact.
(Freeze) 'Glacia? Glacia, what happened?'
- 'I was in the--' - It talked.
Again? What is wrong with this instrument?
No, Mrs. Cooper, the compact didn't talk
it's a little music-box, I picked up in Switzerland.
But now, if you'll excuse me, I must get out to the rinks.
This thing must be broken.
Frosty! Chillblains!
Remove the professor.
He should be stone-cold by now.
You're not even chilly!
I'm an Icelander, you frostbitten baboon.
A slight drop in temperature makes little difference to me.
Well, something will make a difference to you, professor.
I'm gonna get this formula outta you one way or the other.
Down.
Get me my dry ice injector.
That's our cue, Carol.
Thank you both for coming backstage.
And we certainly hope you enjoy the show.
Thank you we will.
Let's hurry to our box, Bruce.
I don't wanna miss a minute.
I have a call to make, Aunt Harriet. I'll join you shortly.
[instrumental music]
Excuse me, Mr. Wayne.
The telephone call you were expecting
you can take in the foyer of your box.
[music continues]
Dick?
'Yes, Bruce?'
I slipped an anti-eavesdrop Bat-plug into the telephone
just in case, I suggest you do the same.
I already have.
And I've done what you said.
Went down to the Bat-cave
got the remote Batmobile control phase advancer.
Went back up my Bat-pole, called a cab
and I'm in a phone booth in the back of police headquarters.
Good, activate the remote control phase advancer
bring the Batmobile into town
and have it park in that alley.
There are rental lockers outside the commissioner's office
put the Bat-clothes in one of them.
I'll meet you at 10:55.
Alfred will take care of Aunt Harriet.
Right.
[intense music]
This is Bruce Wayne, Mr. Freeze, we've received your message.
And Batman and Robin will make the delivery
when, where, how and if you so advise us.
In return we depend on you to keep your part of the bargain
and release Professor Isaacson to the Caped Crusaders.
Good evening.
Thank you, gentlemen, for a difficult task well done.
You sounded like an old pro.
An old pro?
At paying a large ransom to that contemptible kidnapper.
It's only dummy money, Mr. Wayne, as Batman suggested.
Yes, I wonder why, I also wonder where he is.
I've done my job and he told me himself, he would be here.
(O'Hara) 'Well, he will, Mr. Wayne.'
No doubt about it.
Probably delayed in traffic
you can always on the Caped Crusaders.
Yes, I trust that's it.
Dick, I think we should go now.
Uh, you'll let us know what happens, gentlemen, excuse us.
He sounded rather unlike himself, so brisk and brief.
Pressure, commissioner. Gets us all.
Ah, here you are.
Good evening, gentlemen. Where's Mr. Wayne?
He just left. Didn't you bump into him in the hall?
- No. - Well, that's strange.
Well, anyway he pre-taped his telecast
and here's the dummy money.
Good.
Well, Robin, the Bat-ropes?
You bet, the Batmobile's in the rear alley, we'll save time.
Aren't you gonna stay here till Mr. Freeze hears the broadcast?
And advices us of the pay-off site?
I believe we already have a clue
as to his whereabouts, commissioner.
(Robin) 'And the midnight broadcast may enable us'
to take him by surprise.
(Batman) 'Commissioner, when you called earlier, you mentioned'
something about, the ransom note delivered by a seal.
Right, he flipped right in here.
Where is the seal?
In a bathtub down the hall. Why, Batman?
Take this.
It's a small, echoing-seal pulsator.
(Batman) 'It may come in handy later.'
What goes on around here?
- Just be calm, citizen. - I'm no citizen.
I'm here from London, for a manufacturer's convention.
Then, welcome, sir, to Gotham City.
You must be that gentlemen I've read about aren't you a king?
Robin, England has no king now.
England has a queen and a great lady she is too.
Yes, that she is.
But in a way, the laddie's right
I am sometimes called a king, carpet king that is.
- 'Holy floor-covering!' - Very apt, Robin.
And speaking of floors
we should be dropping down a few more right now.
Good evening, sir.
We have second storey-men in England but this is ridiculous.
Frosty! Chillblains!
Put the professor in the quick freezer.
When his veins full of dry ice something may happen.
Ah, Glacia!
The audience just wouldn't let me go, darling.
My famous waltzing arabesques were better than ever.
But I just had to be here with you at midnight
to watch millionaire Bruce Wayne's broadcast.
Just one minute ago.
Let's warm this thing up.
If you'll excuse the expression.
(Bruce on TV) 'This Bruce Wayne, Mr. Freeze, we've received your message
'and Batman and Robin will make the delivery'
'when, where, how and if you so advise us.'
Are making a delivery and right now.
Switch it off.
How could you have found us here?
I have not yet called the Commissioner Gordon.
Found you, we have.
Here's the money.
Phony.
As phony as you, Mr. Freeze?
The gun.
Your freeze gun is useless.
Thanks to the Super Thermalized, Bat-skivvies we're wearing.
Skivvies?
Icemen to the attack!
[dramatic music]
Push him in the quick freezer with the professor.
Better yet, toss him into the vaporizing
transparent pipe pump.
Follow me, icemen!
Now, Glacia..
...all I have to do is turn on the sub-zero temperature gauge.
And when they've cooled down a little..
...I will activate the vaporizing pipe pump..
...and evaporate the caped double-crossers directly into
the ice of the Bruce Wayne Ice Arena.
(Freeze) 'Imagine, Glacia, being able to do your famous'
waltzing arabesques, directly on Batman and Robin.
Behold...they are beginning to frost up already!
What fiendish freezing isometric exercise is this?
Is it the isolated end of the Dynamic Duo?
Have they concluded their refrigerated cycle?
To be vaporized and become a part of Bruce Wayne's Ice Rink?
Stay frozen to your furniture.
Tomorrow, same Bat-time same Bat-channel.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na na ¶
¶ Batman