1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,235 ¶ Batman 2 00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,205 (male narrator) When we last saw Robin 3 00:00:08,207 --> 00:00:12,175 the artful Joker had hung him on a gigantic Batmobile. 4 00:00:12,177 --> 00:00:15,278 Along with dozens of giant palette knives 5 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,513 about to slice him to slivers. 6 00:00:17,515 --> 00:00:21,383 With Bruce Wayne securely tied to a nearby chair 7 00:00:21,385 --> 00:00:25,120 in the monstrous mobile room of Joker's studio. 8 00:00:25,122 --> 00:00:29,657 In one moment, we'll find out, whether Robin's saved.. 9 00:00:29,659 --> 00:00:31,392 ...or shaved! 10 00:00:32,794 --> 00:00:36,029 [theme music] 11 00:00:43,704 --> 00:00:46,105 ¶ Batman 12 00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:48,807 ¶ Batman 13 00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:52,209 ¶ Batman 14 00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,511 ¶ Batman 15 00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:58,247 ¶ Batman 16 00:00:58,249 --> 00:00:59,781 ¶ Batman 17 00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:01,549 ¶ Batman 18 00:01:02,784 --> 00:01:04,551 ¶ Batman 19 00:01:04,553 --> 00:01:06,286 ¶ Batman 20 00:01:06,288 --> 00:01:07,820 ¶ Batman 21 00:01:07,822 --> 00:01:11,423 ¶ Na na na na na na na na na na ¶ 22 00:01:11,425 --> 00:01:14,626 ¶ Batman 23 00:01:17,763 --> 00:01:20,765 [intense music] 24 00:01:46,792 --> 00:01:50,094 [music continues] 25 00:01:53,264 --> 00:01:55,832 Bruce! You've gotta do something. 26 00:01:55,834 --> 00:01:59,569 These blades, they're getting lower and lower. 27 00:01:59,571 --> 00:02:01,170 We've got one chance, Robin. 28 00:02:01,172 --> 00:02:04,239 If I can get to that governor and stop this.. 29 00:02:04,241 --> 00:02:06,474 ...creation of Joker's. 30 00:02:13,882 --> 00:02:15,883 You can do it, Bruce. 31 00:02:17,118 --> 00:02:18,518 Stick with it! 32 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:21,220 [music continues] 33 00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:23,889 Uh! 34 00:02:29,295 --> 00:02:33,431 And I seem to have loosened one of these bonds. 35 00:02:33,799 --> 00:02:36,801 [intense music] 36 00:02:46,378 --> 00:02:48,846 - Good work, Bruce! - 'Robin, work yourself loose.' 37 00:02:48,848 --> 00:02:52,616 Disengage one of those knives and get down here. 38 00:02:53,618 --> 00:02:55,919 [grunts] 39 00:02:57,655 --> 00:03:00,757 [music continues] 40 00:03:14,338 --> 00:03:17,206 Quickly, disconnect the drive belt. 41 00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,279 [sighs] 42 00:03:24,281 --> 00:03:27,382 That was close. Not much room for error. 43 00:03:27,384 --> 00:03:29,951 From now on, all the errors are on Joker. 44 00:03:29,953 --> 00:03:34,755 I think, we'll prepare a little surprise for him, Robin. 45 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,957 [laughing] 46 00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:39,292 Soon Robin will be gone forever 47 00:03:39,294 --> 00:03:40,459 and I will be rich forever. 48 00:03:40,461 --> 00:03:44,362 When your priceless art treasures are delivered to me. 49 00:03:44,364 --> 00:03:47,231 Joker, you could at least untie us. 50 00:03:47,233 --> 00:03:48,732 My hands are getting stiff. 51 00:03:48,734 --> 00:03:49,933 Oh, but of course, my dear. 52 00:03:49,935 --> 00:03:53,703 The Joker is nothing, if not magnanimous. 53 00:03:53,705 --> 00:03:55,304 [laughing] 54 00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:55,971 How about me? 55 00:03:55,973 --> 00:04:01,443 My generosity does not extend to overweight matrons, madam. 56 00:04:01,445 --> 00:04:02,744 Joker, that's not very nice. 57 00:04:02,746 --> 00:04:06,748 We artists are not required to be nice, only talented. 58 00:04:06,750 --> 00:04:09,751 Oh, speaking of which, my latest creation 59 00:04:09,753 --> 00:04:12,987 should have completed it's work by now. 60 00:04:12,989 --> 00:04:15,589 [laughing] 61 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,762 [laughing] 62 00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,869 [laughing] 63 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:34,706 Oh! What a beautiful sight. Beautiful! 64 00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:35,573 Oh, what magnificent 65 00:04:35,575 --> 00:04:37,741 beautiful-red-blood Boy Wonder had. 66 00:04:37,743 --> 00:04:41,311 Has, Joker. That's not blood, that's some of your red paint. 67 00:04:41,313 --> 00:04:45,615 My beautiful red blood is still inside me, no thanks to you. 68 00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,650 Oh! Get them! 69 00:04:47,652 --> 00:04:50,653 [intense music] 70 00:04:56,359 --> 00:04:57,659 Ah! 71 00:04:58,594 --> 00:05:02,763 Baby Jane, those philistines intended to do me bodily harm. 72 00:05:02,765 --> 00:05:03,830 You've got to stand by me. 73 00:05:03,832 --> 00:05:07,300 After you tied me up, and tried to steal my art collection? 74 00:05:07,302 --> 00:05:09,969 But I couldn't help myself, my dear. I'm an artist. 75 00:05:09,971 --> 00:05:13,372 Oh-ho, I have a desire for the things of beauty. 76 00:05:13,374 --> 00:05:14,706 Beauty is irresistible to me. 77 00:05:14,708 --> 00:05:18,543 Oh, that's why, I'm so attracted to you, my dear. 78 00:05:19,578 --> 00:05:21,879 - Really? - Oh, I swear it. 79 00:05:21,881 --> 00:05:24,948 On a stack of blue boys. 80 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,951 [dramatic music] 81 00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:34,356 Thank you, but I had to let him, knock me around a little bit. 82 00:05:34,358 --> 00:05:37,659 We don't want these crooks to make any connection between 83 00:05:37,661 --> 00:05:38,826 Bruce Wayne and Batman. 84 00:05:38,828 --> 00:05:39,793 Gosh! That's right. 85 00:05:39,795 --> 00:05:41,828 It's a tough way to throw them off. 86 00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,996 Fortunately, I'm in good condition. 87 00:05:43,998 --> 00:05:46,031 We still have to round up the leader 88 00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:48,333 of these artistic failures. Come on. 89 00:05:48,335 --> 00:05:51,803 I did it all for art, Baby Jane. All for art. 90 00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:54,305 Can you doubt that I'm a great artist 91 00:05:54,307 --> 00:05:55,673 after seeing my paintings? 92 00:05:55,675 --> 00:05:58,609 Your paintings were impressive, Joker. 93 00:05:58,611 --> 00:06:02,479 Certainly not the work of an ordinary mind. 94 00:06:04,682 --> 00:06:05,448 [shouts] 95 00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:06,682 Ah! Stay away from me! 96 00:06:06,684 --> 00:06:10,385 That juvenile delinquent has no appreciation for fine art. 97 00:06:10,387 --> 00:06:12,720 Baby Jane, you're not going to protect him? 98 00:06:12,722 --> 00:06:15,089 He's just a misguided artist, Robin. 99 00:06:15,091 --> 00:06:16,523 And we're going to re-guide him 100 00:06:16,525 --> 00:06:18,791 straight to the Gotham State Penitentiary. 101 00:06:18,793 --> 00:06:21,493 But the art collections haven't been delivered yet 102 00:06:21,495 --> 00:06:22,627 so, he hasn't stolen anything. 103 00:06:22,629 --> 00:06:27,865 and as for the kidnapping, I for one, refuse to press charges. 104 00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:30,033 And as for them they're all worn out 105 00:06:30,035 --> 00:06:31,467 'from climbing the social ladder.' 106 00:06:31,469 --> 00:06:35,971 While, I alone with my filthy rich daddy's money and prestige 107 00:06:35,973 --> 00:06:39,908 am in a position, to keep them from reaching the top. 108 00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:44,379 Well, I certainly wouldn't press charges, Baby Jane. 109 00:06:44,513 --> 00:06:46,413 (Robin) 'It won't help you, Joker.' 110 00:06:46,415 --> 00:06:47,947 Bruce Wayne will press charges. 111 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,582 He was born on top of the social ladder. 112 00:06:50,584 --> 00:06:53,084 Yes, I am reasonably secure, socially. 113 00:06:53,086 --> 00:06:56,954 However, Baby Jane thinks The Joker is simply misguided 114 00:06:56,956 --> 00:06:59,489 I must defer to her judgment. 115 00:06:59,857 --> 00:07:01,657 You're a sweetie, Brucy. 116 00:07:01,659 --> 00:07:04,926 And now, I have my very own artist to play with. 117 00:07:04,928 --> 00:07:07,461 I am at your command, my dear. 118 00:07:07,463 --> 00:07:09,029 Come on, you big hunk-a-genius you. 119 00:07:09,031 --> 00:07:12,632 Ta-ta, Boy Bungler, and tell your chicken-hearted partner 120 00:07:12,634 --> 00:07:16,969 that if I catch him on the street, I'll run him outta town. 121 00:07:16,971 --> 00:07:18,070 [laughing] 122 00:07:18,072 --> 00:07:18,970 Why didn't you press-- 123 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:22,773 Let's untie the ladies first, Boy Wonder. 124 00:07:24,108 --> 00:07:26,909 Oh, thank you so much, Robin. 125 00:07:26,911 --> 00:07:29,511 Mr. Wayne, thank you. 126 00:07:31,013 --> 00:07:34,048 - Why didn't you press charges? - It's too dangerous. 127 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:36,817 You and I've been seen together often enough. 128 00:07:36,819 --> 00:07:37,851 Just letting him go again. 129 00:07:37,853 --> 00:07:39,786 He's not only free but he thinks Batman's afraid. 130 00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:44,023 Don't worry, Joker won't be under that delusion for long. 131 00:07:46,459 --> 00:07:48,460 Presently, in the handsome mansion 132 00:07:48,462 --> 00:07:51,729 of Baby Jane's filthy rich father. 133 00:07:51,731 --> 00:07:54,031 Do have more chicken, Joker, you need your strength. 134 00:07:54,033 --> 00:07:58,635 Ah. I could exist on, on two grapes and a thimble of water. 135 00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:02,538 But my muse, my muse is starving. 136 00:08:02,672 --> 00:08:06,174 More chicken for The Joker's muse. 137 00:08:06,808 --> 00:08:07,507 [laughing] 138 00:08:07,509 --> 00:08:11,944 Tell me, Joker. Where do you get your ideas for your paintings? 139 00:08:11,946 --> 00:08:13,912 Ah, inspirations, my dear. 140 00:08:13,914 --> 00:08:17,782 From my muse and from beautiful admirers. 141 00:08:17,784 --> 00:08:21,118 If only I could feel that I'd inspire a great work of art. 142 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:25,856 Oh, don't worry, my dear. You will, you will. 143 00:08:25,858 --> 00:08:26,623 Ah! 144 00:08:26,625 --> 00:08:28,591 A message from my muse. 145 00:08:28,593 --> 00:08:29,758 What does it say? 146 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,160 Ah! Clear the table! 147 00:08:32,162 --> 00:08:33,928 [instrumental music] 148 00:08:35,463 --> 00:08:36,629 Paints! Bring me paints. 149 00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:38,030 Charles, you heard The Joker. 150 00:08:38,032 --> 00:08:40,632 Ah, never mind, I brought my own. 151 00:08:40,634 --> 00:08:42,033 [laughing] 152 00:08:43,502 --> 00:08:45,803 Ah, yes, thank you. 153 00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:47,771 Woo! 154 00:08:47,773 --> 00:08:49,105 [Joker laughing] 155 00:08:49,107 --> 00:08:52,675 Oh, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! 156 00:08:52,677 --> 00:08:54,576 [laughing] 157 00:08:54,578 --> 00:08:57,679 Oh! Magnificent, magnificent. 158 00:08:57,681 --> 00:09:00,014 [laughing] 159 00:09:00,016 --> 00:09:01,915 (Joker) 'Magnificent!' 160 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:04,984 I haven't seen anything so beautiful in my life. 161 00:09:04,986 --> 00:09:06,652 [Joker laughing] 162 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:09,154 (Joker) 'What a magnificent artist, I am.' 163 00:09:09,156 --> 00:09:11,723 Oh, a veritable masterpiece. 164 00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:14,592 Alright, boys, go to work on it. 165 00:09:14,594 --> 00:09:16,994 But, Joker, that's a priceless antique table. 166 00:09:16,996 --> 00:09:19,963 Out with the old, in with the new. 167 00:09:19,965 --> 00:09:22,532 [laughing] 168 00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:30,506 [laughing] 169 00:09:31,941 --> 00:09:33,775 [laughing] 170 00:09:33,777 --> 00:09:35,176 Joker! They're destroying it! 171 00:09:35,178 --> 00:09:38,045 Oh, not destroying, my dear, creating. 172 00:09:38,047 --> 00:09:41,581 Look at it this way, you're not losing a table. 173 00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:44,050 You're gaining a masterpiece. 174 00:09:44,052 --> 00:09:46,619 [laughing] 175 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:54,826 [sighs] 176 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,628 I see, you removed the stain, Alfred. 177 00:09:57,630 --> 00:10:00,664 Yes, sir. The Bat-naps finally did the trick. 178 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,899 (Alfred) 'I can start returning the signs' 179 00:10:02,901 --> 00:10:04,368 'I removed from the Bat-poles.' 180 00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:06,603 What about removing Joker, Batman? 181 00:10:06,605 --> 00:10:09,072 We must anticipate Joker's next move 182 00:10:09,074 --> 00:10:10,106 and be there waiting for him. 183 00:10:10,108 --> 00:10:13,976 But how can you predict, what a kook like that will do next? 184 00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:16,745 The criminal mind, erratic, as it is 185 00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:19,214 nevertheless has certain characteristic patterns. 186 00:10:19,216 --> 00:10:24,252 For instance, Joker has begun an artistic caper. 187 00:10:24,254 --> 00:10:25,987 I suspect, he'll continue it. 188 00:10:25,989 --> 00:10:28,222 And he can count on Baby Jane Towser's help. 189 00:10:28,224 --> 00:10:31,959 Yes, I'm afraid, he's completely bamboozled that poor girl. 190 00:10:31,961 --> 00:10:34,394 And I'm sure, he'll try to use her. 191 00:10:34,396 --> 00:10:35,628 The question is, how? 192 00:10:35,630 --> 00:10:38,897 Think of it, my dear, you'll be able to tell your grandchildren 193 00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:41,833 that you witnessed the turning point of 20th century art. 194 00:10:41,835 --> 00:10:44,035 These paintings should be hanging in the Louvre. 195 00:10:44,037 --> 00:10:46,137 Or at least in the Gotham City Museum. 196 00:10:46,139 --> 00:10:48,772 But there's no room in the Gotham City Museum. 197 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:52,408 Yes, and with what? A lot of dusty relics of the past. 198 00:10:52,410 --> 00:10:53,709 Outworn and outmoded. 199 00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:54,776 No, we'll go down there tonight 200 00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:58,279 and replace those old relics with my brand new paintings. 201 00:10:58,281 --> 00:11:01,715 - But we can't do that, Joker. - Why not? 202 00:11:01,717 --> 00:11:03,283 Don't you think my paintings aren't good enough? 203 00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:07,820 After all, they were once your very valuable antique table. 204 00:11:07,822 --> 00:11:11,256 Of course, your paintings are marvelous, but.. 205 00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:12,323 'Then, it's all settled.' 206 00:11:12,325 --> 00:11:14,658 I happened to know that your filthy rich daddy 207 00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:19,262 has a special founder's key to the Towser wing of the museum. 208 00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:20,129 Yes, he does, but-- 209 00:11:20,131 --> 00:11:25,100 Ah, do you want your genius, me, to find another inspiration? 210 00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:30,438 Oh, no! Joker, I must always be your inspiration. 211 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,840 Then, go get daddy's key. 212 00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:35,809 The Towser wing of the museum is being renovated this week. 213 00:11:35,811 --> 00:11:40,747 Which will make all the easier for us to make our little, uh.. 214 00:11:40,749 --> 00:11:42,048 ...exchange. 215 00:11:42,050 --> 00:11:43,449 [laughing] 216 00:11:46,052 --> 00:11:47,852 Alfred should be finished shortly, Robin 217 00:11:47,854 --> 00:11:50,387 and we can put our little plan into effect. 218 00:11:50,389 --> 00:11:52,355 [beeping] The Bat-phone. 219 00:11:54,057 --> 00:11:54,923 Yes, commissioner. 220 00:11:54,925 --> 00:11:56,224 The Joker's been too quite, Batman. 221 00:11:56,226 --> 00:11:58,326 I'm worried, a whole day and nothing's happened. 222 00:11:58,328 --> 00:12:00,961 That larcenous phony has something under his hat 223 00:12:00,963 --> 00:12:01,928 besides his head, Batman. 224 00:12:01,930 --> 00:12:03,429 (Batman) 'The chief is right, commissioner.' 225 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,731 Robin and I would like to handle this ourselves. 226 00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:10,235 Especially, since Joker has been spreading ugly rumors about me. 227 00:12:10,237 --> 00:12:11,703 Whatever you think best, Batman. 228 00:12:11,705 --> 00:12:13,404 But no one could believe for a second 229 00:12:13,406 --> 00:12:16,273 that you're afraid of that cackling cutpurse. 230 00:12:16,275 --> 00:12:17,407 Thank you, commissioner. 231 00:12:17,409 --> 00:12:20,243 The chief and I, won't move from this office 232 00:12:20,245 --> 00:12:21,110 until we hear from you. 233 00:12:21,112 --> 00:12:23,312 I hope that won't be too long, commissioner. 234 00:12:23,314 --> 00:12:25,147 And tell, Chief O'Hara that Robin and I 235 00:12:25,149 --> 00:12:30,318 have something in our...pockets besides our hands. 236 00:12:30,452 --> 00:12:32,152 (Gordon) 'Right.' 237 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,187 (Alfred) 'I'm all through, sir.' 238 00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,488 Let's have a look, Alfred. 239 00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,290 I've done my best. 240 00:12:42,725 --> 00:12:44,192 Fine, Alfred. 241 00:12:46,061 --> 00:12:51,198 And that night in the Towser wing of the Gotham City Museum. 242 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:56,269 There, now all the world can see, what a genius I am. 243 00:12:56,271 --> 00:13:00,106 And what an inspiration, I am and my table. 244 00:13:00,108 --> 00:13:01,774 Oh, of course, my dear. 245 00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:05,878 Joker. What are you gonna do with all the dusty old relics 246 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,379 that used to hang here? 247 00:13:07,381 --> 00:13:08,813 Ah! That junk. 248 00:13:08,815 --> 00:13:11,315 I'll take it to the city dump and burn it. 249 00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:16,253 Be a good girl and go and get another one of my masterpieces. 250 00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:18,388 [laughing] 251 00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:19,489 Careful, you dolt. 252 00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:21,023 Oh, those paintings are priceless. 253 00:13:21,025 --> 00:13:24,226 - How many are left? - This is the last one, Joker. 254 00:13:24,228 --> 00:13:25,160 Loaded them onto the truck? 255 00:13:25,162 --> 00:13:27,295 All but this one. Where should we take them? 256 00:13:27,297 --> 00:13:31,465 The last place where the Gotham City Police expect us to go. 257 00:13:31,467 --> 00:13:34,367 - Our old studio. - 'Right!' 258 00:13:35,135 --> 00:13:36,768 Get going, boys. 259 00:13:38,036 --> 00:13:39,870 Here's another masterpiece. 260 00:13:39,872 --> 00:13:42,806 Won't the museum directors be surprised? 261 00:13:42,808 --> 00:13:47,076 Oh! Ho-ho, they'll be overjoyed, my dear. 262 00:13:47,078 --> 00:13:48,243 [laughing] 263 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:52,046 Let me see that. Oh, there's a good place over there. 264 00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:55,182 [instrumental music] 265 00:14:00,188 --> 00:14:03,190 [intense music] 266 00:14:05,459 --> 00:14:08,060 [Joker laughing] 267 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,030 Handle them carefully, boys. 268 00:14:12,032 --> 00:14:14,832 There's 10 million under those blankets. 269 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:15,799 [mumbling] 270 00:14:15,801 --> 00:14:17,467 Well, I can't understand you, my dear 271 00:14:17,469 --> 00:14:20,303 if you mumble, you're almost as bad as my muse 272 00:14:20,305 --> 00:14:21,937 I could never understand her either. 273 00:14:21,939 --> 00:14:25,173 Ah, well, our styles change, but crime goes on forever. 274 00:14:25,175 --> 00:14:29,810 Is that, why I'm tied up? After all I've done for you? 275 00:14:29,812 --> 00:14:30,577 Been your biggest booster? 276 00:14:30,579 --> 00:14:35,515 Friendship ends when real felony finally takes over. 277 00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:36,916 [chuckles] 278 00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,317 Keep an eye on her. 279 00:14:38,319 --> 00:14:39,918 [laughing] 280 00:14:41,186 --> 00:14:43,554 [laughing] 281 00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:53,130 [phone rings] 282 00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:56,966 Commissioner Gordon. 283 00:14:56,968 --> 00:14:59,301 (Joker) 'Working nights, commissioner?' 284 00:14:59,303 --> 00:15:01,303 - Joker? - Joker! 285 00:15:01,305 --> 00:15:02,871 [Joker laughing] 286 00:15:02,873 --> 00:15:04,906 I've decided to give you a present, commissioner 287 00:15:04,908 --> 00:15:07,174 for being so nice to me all these years. 288 00:15:07,176 --> 00:15:10,544 If you're trying to offer me a bribe, Joker. 289 00:15:10,546 --> 00:15:12,178 'Bribe? Oh, don't be ridiculous.' 290 00:15:12,180 --> 00:15:15,848 I intend to present you with the entire renaissance collection 291 00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:18,517 of the Gotham City Museum as a gift. 292 00:15:18,519 --> 00:15:21,853 Renaissance art collection? How did you-- 293 00:15:21,855 --> 00:15:23,621 'Ah, never mind how, commissioner.' 294 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:26,223 I've got it and I'm giving it you. 295 00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:27,524 Now, isn't that nice of me. 296 00:15:27,526 --> 00:15:30,093 Of course there's a slight delivery charge 297 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,095 about 10 million dollars. 298 00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:35,965 Payable within an hour or I burn the entire collection. 299 00:15:35,967 --> 00:15:38,934 When Batman gets his hands on you.. 300 00:15:38,936 --> 00:15:41,369 Batman? Huh! That cowardly creep. 301 00:15:41,371 --> 00:15:44,939 He's so scared of me he doesn't dare come outta his Bat-cave. 302 00:15:44,941 --> 00:15:48,876 No. You might as well forget help from Batman. 303 00:15:48,878 --> 00:15:52,446 'And start thinking of my 10 million.' 304 00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:53,447 Good evening, Joker. 305 00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:57,284 Oh! Oh, Batman, you're on the line too. 306 00:15:57,286 --> 00:15:58,351 [laughing] Well.. 307 00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:02,455 Oh, hiding out in the commissioner's office, eh? 308 00:16:02,457 --> 00:16:03,956 I hope you don't mind, Joker? 309 00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:07,225 Oh, you better stay inside, Bat-boob. 310 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:08,492 Because if I catch you outside 311 00:16:08,494 --> 00:16:12,362 I'm going to pin your pointed ears back, you hear? 312 00:16:12,364 --> 00:16:13,563 Of course, Joker. 313 00:16:13,565 --> 00:16:16,465 What's this I hear about stolen paintings? 314 00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:18,967 Oh, I have dozens of them. 315 00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:22,637 And each one, an old master. 316 00:16:22,639 --> 00:16:24,472 You don't say. 317 00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:27,007 Yes! I do say. 318 00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:29,542 [instrumental music] 319 00:16:33,547 --> 00:16:35,047 [gasps] 320 00:16:40,553 --> 00:16:42,153 [mumbling] 321 00:16:45,924 --> 00:16:47,624 You Caped Clodpole. 322 00:16:47,626 --> 00:16:49,125 You switched paintings on me! 323 00:16:49,127 --> 00:16:52,328 These are nothing but kindergarten drawings. 324 00:16:52,330 --> 00:16:53,429 Naturally. 325 00:16:53,431 --> 00:16:54,997 And even a kindergarten mind 326 00:16:54,999 --> 00:16:58,133 could've anticipated your every move. 327 00:16:58,135 --> 00:17:00,668 This caper was even more obvious than most. 328 00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:03,237 You can say that over the phone, Batman 329 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:07,507 but if I had you here, I'd pound you to a pulp. 330 00:17:08,642 --> 00:17:10,476 Start pounding, Joker. 331 00:17:10,478 --> 00:17:13,378 [screaming] 332 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:16,147 [dramatic music] 333 00:17:16,149 --> 00:17:19,116 It's music to me ears. 334 00:17:19,118 --> 00:17:23,720 It is, Chief O'Hara. It is indeed. 335 00:17:23,722 --> 00:17:25,388 [grunts] 336 00:17:30,394 --> 00:17:31,694 [grunts] 337 00:17:33,263 --> 00:17:35,464 Beautiful. Beautiful. 338 00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:38,567 [music continues] 339 00:17:40,703 --> 00:17:42,103 [gasps] 340 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:44,305 Oh, it's horrible, horrible! 341 00:17:44,307 --> 00:17:45,139 [music continues] 342 00:17:45,141 --> 00:17:48,742 Oh, while the dynamic dimwits are flattening my flunkies 343 00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:49,743 I'll make my escape. 344 00:17:49,745 --> 00:17:51,478 But first, a trip to Bruce Wayne's house. 345 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,515 To pick up some quick cash, so I can hide out for a few months 346 00:17:55,517 --> 00:17:58,317 and get even with that rich fink for quitting 347 00:17:58,319 --> 00:18:00,352 my kidnap caper this morning. 348 00:18:00,354 --> 00:18:01,486 [laughing] 349 00:18:01,488 --> 00:18:04,522 [dramatic music] 350 00:18:04,524 --> 00:18:06,023 [grunts] 351 00:18:24,642 --> 00:18:26,142 [grunts] 352 00:18:31,581 --> 00:18:34,683 [music continues] 353 00:18:43,192 --> 00:18:44,659 [groans] 354 00:18:51,767 --> 00:18:52,399 He's gone! 355 00:18:52,401 --> 00:18:55,602 Knowing the Joker's need for cash and dislike for Bruce. 356 00:18:55,604 --> 00:18:56,803 Think he's headed for Wayne Manor? 357 00:18:56,805 --> 00:19:00,239 I'm sure of it, Robin. To the Batmobile. 358 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,547 Where's Bruce Wayne? 359 00:19:08,549 --> 00:19:11,082 - Mr. Wayne is not at home, sir. - Too bad. 360 00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:15,386 I'll get my revenge later. Right now, I'll settle for cash. 361 00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:16,253 Where's the safe? 362 00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:20,457 My duties do not include aiding and abetting thievery. 363 00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,492 Oh, no? 364 00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:25,327 I see. 365 00:19:25,329 --> 00:19:26,728 [chuckles] 366 00:19:27,329 --> 00:19:29,430 This way, sir. 367 00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:32,198 Please be calm, madam. 368 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,201 One peep outta you and I'll blow your head off. 369 00:19:35,203 --> 00:19:38,270 - Where's the safe? - Over there. 370 00:19:38,272 --> 00:19:40,705 Oh my, you poor little thing. 371 00:19:40,707 --> 00:19:42,473 Behind the picture, sir. 372 00:19:44,209 --> 00:19:45,742 There's no safe there. 373 00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:46,442 [screams] 374 00:19:46,444 --> 00:19:49,578 Alfred, be careful! The Joker's an arch-criminal. 375 00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:51,646 I know, madam, but a very poor fencer. 376 00:19:51,648 --> 00:19:53,614 You Anglo-fink, I'll smash you to smidgens. 377 00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:56,783 May I point out that smidgens, it's a childish profusion. 378 00:19:56,785 --> 00:20:02,755 It should have no place even in so poor a vocabulary as yours. 379 00:20:03,389 --> 00:20:06,391 [intense music] 380 00:20:14,500 --> 00:20:17,869 Stand back! Stand back I say or I'll.. 381 00:20:18,704 --> 00:20:19,637 What's this? 382 00:20:19,639 --> 00:20:21,538 Don't touch that. 383 00:20:23,641 --> 00:20:26,676 Aha! A secret passage! 384 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:40,355 Alfred, what's happened? 385 00:20:40,357 --> 00:20:42,890 I'm afraid The Joker tripped the Bat-pole switch. 386 00:20:42,892 --> 00:20:45,325 And mistook this for a secret passage, sir. 387 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,359 Then he's down in the Bat-cave. 388 00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:49,228 He didn't quite make the Bat-cave, Master Robin. 389 00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:49,962 Then, where is he? 390 00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,863 I believe he should be arriving presently. 391 00:20:51,865 --> 00:20:55,766 The emergency Bat-pole elevator, fast thinking, Alfred. 392 00:20:55,768 --> 00:20:56,833 Thank you, sir. 393 00:20:56,835 --> 00:20:59,268 [Joker screaming] 394 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:02,804 Someone get me off this crazy dumbwaiter! 395 00:21:02,806 --> 00:21:03,938 I can't breathe! 396 00:21:03,940 --> 00:21:06,440 Joker says he can't breathe, Alfred. 397 00:21:06,442 --> 00:21:09,509 Why don't you give him some breathing space? 398 00:21:09,511 --> 00:21:11,410 With pleasure, sir. 399 00:21:12,945 --> 00:21:14,612 Oh, no! Aah! 400 00:21:14,614 --> 00:21:15,746 (Joker) Help! 401 00:21:15,748 --> 00:21:18,515 It's lucky you didn't get around to washing our other 402 00:21:18,517 --> 00:21:21,484 costumes, Alfred, or else Joker might've found himself 403 00:21:21,486 --> 00:21:22,418 wearin' a Bat-costume. 404 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:24,586 I think we better see about Baby Jane Towser. 405 00:21:24,588 --> 00:21:26,921 Alfred, it looks like you can handle things here. 406 00:21:26,923 --> 00:21:29,323 I believe everything's well in hand, sir. 407 00:21:29,325 --> 00:21:32,426 And the young lady's in the living room. 408 00:21:33,294 --> 00:21:36,362 Now, now, Ms. Towser, it wasn't your fault. 409 00:21:36,364 --> 00:21:40,032 Anyone could be mislead by The Joker's slick talk. 410 00:21:40,034 --> 00:21:43,335 But I was so gullible, Mrs. Cooper. 411 00:21:43,337 --> 00:21:46,471 Oh, Batman and Robin, thank heaven you're here. 412 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:49,807 - Is Alfred alright? - Yes, he's fine, Mrs. Cooper. 413 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:53,544 Batman, I'm so sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. 414 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:55,779 It was an honest mistake, Baby Jane 415 00:21:55,781 --> 00:21:57,580 no one blames you for it. 416 00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:58,781 I blame myself. 417 00:21:58,783 --> 00:22:01,817 It'll be a long time before anyone catches me 418 00:22:01,819 --> 00:22:03,585 in another art gallery. 419 00:22:03,587 --> 00:22:06,387 It'll be an even longer time for Joker. 420 00:22:06,389 --> 00:22:08,589 By the way, where is Joker? 421 00:22:08,591 --> 00:22:11,758 Right now, Joker's having his ups and downs. 422 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,493 You might say that. 423 00:22:13,495 --> 00:22:14,994 Help! 424 00:22:17,464 --> 00:22:21,633 Alfred, old pal, have pity! 425 00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:25,637 We Anglo-finks have a long memory. 426 00:22:27,039 --> 00:22:28,706 Aah! 427 00:22:30,575 --> 00:22:32,075 We shouldn't take pleasure.. 428 00:22:32,077 --> 00:22:34,043 ...in another creature's misfortunes 429 00:22:34,045 --> 00:22:38,380 but, uh, occasionally, one maybe forgiven.. 430 00:22:38,382 --> 00:22:42,317 ...for a slight twinge of satisfaction. 431 00:22:50,759 --> 00:22:51,792 Of course, there's no telling 432 00:22:51,794 --> 00:22:53,727 what the public's going to like, you know? 433 00:22:53,729 --> 00:22:56,062 Personally, I've never understood modern art. 434 00:22:56,064 --> 00:22:58,531 I've always liked, Whistler's Mother. 435 00:22:58,533 --> 00:23:00,399 - To tell the truth, so have I. - Shh. 436 00:23:00,401 --> 00:23:02,901 Someone might hear you and then you'd lose a fortune. 437 00:23:02,903 --> 00:23:05,470 Which would decrease the proceeds to the Wayne Foundation 438 00:23:05,472 --> 00:23:08,806 free nursery school to which Alfred is donating his profits. 439 00:23:08,808 --> 00:23:10,474 It was the least I could do, sir. 440 00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:13,743 Especially, in the view of the nature of the paintings. 441 00:23:13,745 --> 00:23:17,446 Excuse me, I think I see a customer ripe for plucking. 442 00:23:17,448 --> 00:23:19,815 I mean, interested in buying. 443 00:23:20,883 --> 00:23:24,852 I don't understand it at all, it must be very profound. 444 00:23:24,854 --> 00:23:27,855 Notice the large, green, blob. 445 00:23:27,857 --> 00:23:32,893 Hmm, yes. I see what you mean, very profound. 446 00:23:36,964 --> 00:23:40,533 Well, Alfred, it's not everyone who can have his very first 447 00:23:40,535 --> 00:23:42,001 efforts displayed at Parks. 448 00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:42,801 Thank you, sir. 449 00:23:42,803 --> 00:23:44,836 The Joker and his paintings are in prison 450 00:23:44,838 --> 00:23:47,939 and Alfred and his paintings are at Parks. 451 00:23:47,941 --> 00:23:49,573 A rather nice turn of events. 452 00:23:49,575 --> 00:23:53,543 And very fine paintings they are too, Alfred. 453 00:23:53,545 --> 00:23:55,645 You really think so, sir? 454 00:23:55,647 --> 00:23:57,380 Oh, indeed I do. 455 00:23:57,382 --> 00:23:59,648 Why, uh, they're masterpieces. 456 00:23:59,650 --> 00:24:01,616 Then, perhaps you'd like to own one? 457 00:24:01,618 --> 00:24:07,421 Uh, well, yes-yes I would, but I can't afford the price. 458 00:24:07,423 --> 00:24:08,955 Oh, that's no obstacle, sir. 459 00:24:08,957 --> 00:24:12,525 Here. Allow me to present you with this one. 460 00:24:12,527 --> 00:24:15,961 As, uh, as a token of my esteem. 461 00:24:18,130 --> 00:24:19,830 Mother Machree. 462 00:24:26,404 --> 00:24:30,840 Next week, Eli Wallach as the frigid, Mr. Freeze. 463 00:24:33,877 --> 00:24:36,645 [theme music] 464 00:24:36,647 --> 00:24:38,513 ¶ Batman 465 00:24:39,815 --> 00:24:41,682 ¶ Batman 466 00:24:43,017 --> 00:24:44,884 ¶ Batman 467 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,019 ¶ Batman 468 00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:50,988 ¶ Batman 469 00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,689 ¶ Batman 470 00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:54,557 ¶ Batman 471 00:24:55,859 --> 00:24:57,559 ¶ Batman 472 00:24:57,561 --> 00:24:58,960 ¶ Batman 473 00:24:58,962 --> 00:25:00,928 ¶ Batman 474 00:25:06,634 --> 00:25:09,535 ¶ Na na na na na na na na ¶ 475 00:25:09,537 --> 00:25:12,104 ¶ Batman