¶ Batman
(male narrator) Another groovy day in Gotham City.
And everything seems just right
in our teeming metropolis.
But there's a new face in the crowd.
The face of Black Widow.
Oh, good morning, madam.
Uh, may I help you?
Uh, yes, you may, doll.
I would like to open a tiny new saving account.
An excellent way to start the day.
- Yes. - Come with me please.
Merci.
Now, then, your name and marital status.
Mrs. Max Black..
...Widow
How large on initial deposit do you wish to make, Mrs. Widow.
Ah, Mrs. Black.
[buzzing]
And now, Irv, darling
will you bring me 20 or 30 thou from the vault?
Oh, you're an absolute love.
Ta-ta.
How did you do, Black Widow?
Finally, Tarantula, I have done it again.
There now, Mr. Cash, it isn't the end of the world.
There was this strange vibration
and then I'm handing her thousands.
I-I couldn't stop myself.
It was as though the devil himself was at work on you.
Or someone just as clever.
You mean you know who pulled this job?
You may not remember, but how could I ever forget?
Black Widow.
Black Widow?
You must be joking.
I wish I were, Chief O'Hara
but it all points to her.
Opening a new account, the huge handbag
the black outfit, the charm and fascination.
Oh, that's her, commissioner. Quick, catch her.
Not quite that simple, I'm afraid, but we..
We do have a chance.
The Dynamic Duet?
Duo, that's Dynamic Duo.
The Dynamic Duo indeed.
At this moment, within the walls of stately Wayne Manor
an unveiling is taking place.
How do you like them, Dick?
Fine, Aunt Harriet, but I already
have a pair of black pants.
Well, they're not for you, silly.
They're for me.
I've decided to go mod.
Now, what do you boys think?
Tres chic, Aunt Harriet.
Every bachelor in Gotham City will be staring.
[laughing]
I wanted to get a mini skirt
but the salesgirl wasn't sure I had the face for it.
Oh, Alfred, how do you like my new outfit?
Carnaby Street has come to Wayne Manor, madam.
- Sir. - Yes, Alfred.
A Mr. Gordon Commish is calling.
Yes, we've been expecting his call.
Excuse us, Aunt Harriet
we may be tied up for a little while.
Dick.
There they go healthy and normal
and I'm such a beatnik.
Yes, commissioner.
Good to hear your voice, Batman.
You'll never guess who's in town.
- Mr. Freeze? - 'No.'
Penguin? Joker?
Black Widow has crawled into Gotham City.
We're on our way.
It's Black Widow.
The Black Widow?
I'm afraid so.
To the Bat-poles.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶
¶ Batman
"Black Widow wins her victims confidence by pretending
"to open a savings account.
"Her methods of overpowering include hypnosis, drugs
and other artificial brain stimuli."
Excuse me ignorance, Batman
but what does a lady's hair dryer have to do with all this?
This, Chief O'Hara, in spite of its appearance
is a brain wave Bat-analyzer.
'It registers the brain wave patterns'
'of the various control areas of the human brain.'
Most ingenious.
Judging by her past modus operandi
Robin and I suspect that Black Widow
may have short-circuited a portion of Mr. Cash's brain.
Thereby rendering him incapable of making judgments.
Oh, this is worse than I thought.
First, my money, now, my brain.
Easy, citizen, whatever she did in there will wear off.
Sit down please.
Now, will you insert your head
in the brain wave Bat-analyzer.
No cause for concern, Mr. Cash.
You can be sure if it's Batman.
If you say so.
Cortex.
Thalamus.
Cerebellum.
'Not impaired.'
[beeping] 'Medulla.'
'A-Okay.'
Holy nerve center! What is it, Batman?
The cerebrum, Robin.
Black Widow put Mr. Cash's cerebrum out of commission.
He was powerless to control his actions.
You can come out now, Mr. Cash.
You, you can come out now, Mr. Cash.
Incredible.
With that secret weapon of hers
she could clean out every bank in Gotham City
and we'd always be one step behind her.
Me men are clever goodness knows
but where the human brain is concerned
they're just not equipped.
How do we stop her, Batman?
That is our problem. We haven't a second to lose.
Quick, Robin, the Bat-analyzer.
Got it.
Oh, Batman, am I going be alright?
Take two cold tablets and get plenty of rest.
Your cerebrum will be fine in the morning, Mr. Cash.
Meanwhile, in The Web
an underground grotto somewhere in Gotham City
Black Widow and her spidery companions are enjoying
the fruits of Black Widow's labor of love.
Ah-ah!
Don't touch, Tarantula.
Well, I just wanted to run it through my fingers, BW.
You have to wait.
I still have a fabulous list of banks I must clean out
before we split.
Trap Door, what are you doing out of your trap door?
I got lonely.
Oh, poor soul.
I don't know how you do it, Blacky.
I tried robbin' banks when I was younger
but I always got nailed before I was out the door.
Incentive, Daddy Long Legs.
That's why you blew it.
But didn't your husband, Max
always say that Money can't buy happiness?
Happiness can't buy money.
Poor, sweet, Max.
[laughing]
'Why is it taking so long, Batman?'
Every known fact about Black Widow
has been fed into the Bat-computer.
There were over 3000 separate cards to collate and analyze.
Sorry, Batman, but knowing that that arch villainess
maybe robbing a Gotham City bank
at this very minute bothers me.
Bother you? It should.
Just as it should bother any red blooded American citizen
who recognizes the law and obeys it.
At this very minute, at yet another Gotham City bank..
[buzzing]
By the way, Mr. Bracken, doll
bring me 20 or 30 thou in small unmarked bills.
Can you do that for me?
Beneficial is here to benefit you, Mrs. Black.
You're sure that will fill your needs?
How sweet of you to ask.
Make it forty.
"Black Widow Lingerie.
"Black Widow Weeds Removal Service.
"Black Widow Black Top Company.
Black Widow and Black Attorneys."
But not one single bank.
Seems to be hung up on he word black.
Maybe the Bat-analyzing gears need oiling.
[Bat-phone beeping]
Yes, commissioner.
It's Black Widow, Batman.
In lightning fashion she's just hit four more banks
and I have an office full of angry bank managers.
Any results at your end?
Not yet, commissioner. I'm sorry.
And I'm almost tempted to let her..
...let her..
Give me the names of the banks Black Widow has robbed.
Chief O'Hara, that list.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
Excuse me. Here you are.
Here we are, Batman.
"American, Beneficial, Commercial, Diversified,
Empire, Federal State."
It's as simple as A, B, C, commissioner.
Black Widow's going right through the alphabet.
No wonder the Bat-computer couldn't figure out her plan.
It was too easy.
Commissioner, her next robbery will obviously take place
at Gotham General Bank and Trust.
Chief O'Hara, I want every available unit dispatched
to the Gotham General Bank and Trust.
I have a better plan, commissioner.
Tell Chief O'Hara and his men
to sit on their tuffets so to speak
and stay away from the Gotham General Bank and Trust.
Repeat, stay away.
Robin and I are less likely to frighten this spider away.
Pardon me.
Have you been here long, citizen?
We're looking for Black Widow.
I'm not too familiar with Gotham City
or any of it's denizens, Batman.
Ciao.
May we see the manager please? It's top priority.
Do you wish to open a new account, sir?
No, it concerns possible criminal activity
in this bank.
If you'll just follow me.
Mr. Leghorn, two gentlemen to see you.
T-t-two gentlemen?
No lady or black widow
or anything like that?
Batman and Robin here, Mr. Leghorn.
Oh, am I glad to see you.
Mr. Leghorn, we have reason to believe Black Widow
will attempt to rob this bank today.
Oh, oh!
There's no cause for alarm, Mr. Leghorn.
Robin and I will be hiding nearby.
If and when Black Widow shows up
act naturally and do exactly as she says
We'll apprehend her at precisely the right moment.
If you say so, Batman.
Act naturally.
Now, we watch and wait.
Steady, Robin.
It's her move.
Caught you, Black Widow.
'Forging to rob the Gotham General Bank and Trust, eh?'
Well, Mr. Leghorn please.
I thought I told you to act naturally.
This is Mrs. Harriet Cooper.
One of Gotham's City's most law abiding and respected citizens.
All I wanted to do was open a small savings account
for my nephew Dick Grayson.
Forgive me, Mrs. Cooper.
Please let me explain.
Don't bother.
There's always Beneficial.
Good for Aunt Harriet.
Alright, Mr. Leghorn, continue to act naturally.
Act naturally, act naturally, act naturally.
May I help you?
How do you do, doll?
I would like to open a small, savings account.
Oh, nothing pretentious.
It's her.
Let's move out.
- The-- - Hah.
Black Widow.
We finally meet.
How perfectly thrilling!
The Caped Crusader.
And what a magnificent cape it is too.
I really must have one of those for my wardrobe.
Don't waste your energy, Black Widow.
Robin and I have been wearing
Anti Short-circuiting Brain Bat-electrodes
'since your first day in Gotham City.'
Really, my sweet.
Well, now how about trying this on for size?
Bye-bye, baby.
Au revoir, Prince Charming.
Keep in touch.
Batman.
Feels like a paralyzing dose of spider venom.
It should wear off...presently.
Let's go after her.
She has a pretty good head start on us.
I anticipated that.
Robin..
...I installed an odor sensitometer radar circuit.
Holy olfactory!
Right, Robin.
The oil and gas mixture from her motorbike will register
on the sensitometer
and be picked up as a blip on the radar-scope.
All we have to do is follow that blip.
Ready?
Are you Batman?
Never readier.
[tires screeching]
We're on target, Batman.
But she seems to have disappeared.
That elderly couple rocking on the porch
maybe they saw her go by.
Hello, citizens.
Sorry to trouble you.
We're looking for a lady on a motorcycle.
'Have you seen such a lady?'
Haven't seen no lady on a bike in, let's see
been eight or ten years
wouldn't you say that, dad?
I would say that, yes.
About eight, ten, years.
We're still getting the blips, Batman.
She must be somewhere around here.
Say, aren't you that Bat fella and that Robin fella
who are constantly fightin' evil?
Right you are, ma'am.
Keep up the good work.
Frank and I are both categorically against evil.
Thank you, senior citizen.
They're driving away. Ha!
Black Widow, you've outwitted them again.
(voice on tape) 'Say, aren't you that Bat fella and that Robin fella'
'who are constantly fightin' evil?'
Sounds perfectly normal
on the Bat-tape Reader doesn't it, Robin?
Just the way it was picked up
by the Batmobile's Ultra-sonic Recorder.
Activate the Bat-scilloscope.
Now, let's watch and listen.
'Say, aren't you that Bat fella and that Robin fella'
'who are constantly fightin' evil?'
No doubt about it.
About what, Batman?
That what we heard at the old framed house
were amplified human voices
To the Batmobile.
[tires screeching]
Look, Robin.
(Robin) 'Three hours and they're still going strong.'
I thought they'd be off their rockers by now, eh, Robin?
Yeah.
Come on, Robin.
Rubber.
So the voice we heard on that recording was really sweet
little, old Black Widow.
Question.
When you chase a spider
where does he or she usually hide?
Answer, under the house.
Darlings, we're about to play a dear little game.
Spider and the fly.
Come closer and pay attention.
Strict attention.
Robin, over here.
[dramatic music]
(Black Widow) 'Welcome to The Web, Darling Duo.'
'Sic 'em, boys.'
Oww!
Batman!
So, Latrodectus mactans
commonly know as Black Widow.
'Caught in your own web, eh?'
There is nothing common about me, dynamic doll.
And as of being caught in my own web..
May I give you a tiny little piece of advice?
If you wish to live and thrive
let the spider run alive.
Not a chance!
After all the evil you've done.
Oh, Robin, I'm afraid I must do another evil deed.
Not tonight. Unless you can arrange it
from the Gotham City jail.
Oh, Batman.
My arms and legs.
I'm stuck.
How ironic.
Now, it is you who are caught in my web.
Rightly cunning of me, don't you think?
You may have a slight advantage now but--
Dear heart, you may be caped
and you may be dynamic..
...but to me, you are a crashing ball.
So, voila.
'I had them skip their dinner.'
So they would thoroughly enjoy you.
[laughing]
And now, my lieutenants and I are gonna tunnel into my vault
and count our lovely loot.
Is Black Widow about to succeed
where countless other crooks have failed?
Or can Black Widow's Black Widows be stopped
before dinner?
For the answer to this
and other creepy questions tune in manana
same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶
¶ Batman