1
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¶ Batman
2
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(male narrator)
Gotham state penitentiary.
3
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An impregnable fortress
under maximum security
4
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where rehabilitation,
not punishment, is the keynote.
5
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Hello, Catwoman.
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Hello.
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You're familiar with
millionaire, Bruce Wayne.
8
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Yes, we've met.
9
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Is there any particular reason
you had me brought here?
10
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I was taking
my afternoon catnap.
11
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:49,305
We're, uh, taking
a gamble on you, Catwoman.
12
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Your parole application has been
granted due to the insistence
13
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'of one of the members
of the board.'
14
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- You're letting me go?
- With this proviso.
15
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A board member will act
as your parole officer.
16
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He, heaven help him
17
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'will be totally
responsible for your actions.'
18
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Who's that?
19
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Millionaire, Bruce Wayne.
20
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Warden..
21
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...I owe my life
of crime to the fact..
22
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...that I was a drop out.
23
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I'm going back
to Gotham City University
24
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to immerse myself
in education.
25
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Late the next night,
a curious happening takes shape
26
00:01:26,771 --> 00:01:30,305
in one of Gotham City
University's hallowed hall.
27
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A student prank or a feline
scheme of that university's
28
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most recently
registered student?
29
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[intense music]
30
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Meanwhile, in stately
Wayne Manor..
31
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Yes, commissioner.
32
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I'm not certain if this
requires your attention, Batman.
33
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:11,142
But some strange goings
on have been going on.
34
00:02:11,144 --> 00:02:12,443
Who is it this time,
commissioner?
35
00:02:12,445 --> 00:02:14,845
Joker, Egghead,
Riddler, King Tut?
36
00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:15,612
I don't know.
37
00:02:15,614 --> 00:02:18,548
A statue has been stolen
at Gotham City University.
38
00:02:18,550 --> 00:02:20,449
Sounds like
a freshman prank to me.
39
00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:22,617
'Perhaps, and then again,
perhaps not.'
40
00:02:22,619 --> 00:02:27,688
The statue was a full size
replica of you, Batman.
41
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,456
My graven image, eh?
42
00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:31,724
We'll be right there,
commissioner.
43
00:02:31,726 --> 00:02:34,293
To the Bat-poles.
44
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,701
[theme music]
45
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¶ Batman
46
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¶ Batman
47
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¶ Batman
48
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¶ Batman
49
00:03:03,785 --> 00:03:07,220
¶ Batman, Batman
50
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¶ Batman
51
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¶ Batman, Batman
52
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¶ Batman
53
00:03:15,662 --> 00:03:18,863
¶ Na na na na na na na
54
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¶ Batman
55
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[intense music]
56
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Utterly baffling.
57
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With all due respect
to Batman's myriad fans
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why would anyone
steal a mere statue?
59
00:04:17,521 --> 00:04:19,687
Maybe it was some kind
of dumb fraternity stunt.
60
00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:23,490
Unfortunately, I can think
of a more sinister reason.
61
00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:24,791
What, Batman?
62
00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:26,392
As you may recall..
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00:04:26,394 --> 00:04:29,962
...that statue was made from
a perfect mold of my body.
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00:04:29,964 --> 00:04:34,700
And the costume is an exact
plaster duplicate of yours.
65
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Precisely, Robin.
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00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:38,003
This step may be
the first step in
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some diabolical
impostor of myself.
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00:04:41,875 --> 00:04:44,609
Gosh, if we only
had some clue.
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00:04:44,611 --> 00:04:46,010
There is one,
Boy Wonder.
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00:04:46,012 --> 00:04:49,380
We found this freshman beanie,
size six and seven eighths
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00:04:49,382 --> 00:04:50,914
at the scene of the outrage.
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00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:51,948
Can you trace it?
73
00:04:51,950 --> 00:04:54,750
There are approximately
5700 male freshmen
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00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:56,785
enrolling for
this semester at GCU.
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00:04:56,787 --> 00:05:01,890
3127 of them wear a size
six and seven eighths beanie.
76
00:05:01,892 --> 00:05:02,724
It's a start.
77
00:05:02,726 --> 00:05:06,961
May I see the beanie in
question, Chief O'Hara?
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- Robin.
- Yes, Batman.
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- Do you see what I see?
- 'Depends.'
80
00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:22,842
What do you see?
81
00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:28,680
A single strand
of red hair.
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00:05:28,682 --> 00:05:29,280
A clue?
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00:05:29,282 --> 00:05:31,582
Could be vital clue,
Commissioner Gordon.
84
00:05:31,584 --> 00:05:34,918
I've just perfected an
electronic hair Bat-analyzer
85
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,455
which may hold the key to this
baffling question.
86
00:05:39,457 --> 00:05:41,056
Let's go, Robin.
87
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:45,727
And in the basement
of the Eighta Beta Lotka
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00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:49,797
sorority house,
adjoining the GCU campus..
89
00:05:51,833 --> 00:05:53,066
I gotta hand it
to you, Catwoman.
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00:05:53,068 --> 00:05:56,369
Hiding us out in this sorority
house was a stroke of genius.
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00:05:56,371 --> 00:05:59,705
Who'd ever think of looking
for men in a all girls house?
92
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:02,441
There's no taking ourselves
for granted, Mitt.
93
00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:03,542
There's work to be done.
94
00:06:03,544 --> 00:06:05,944
To be done! Cornell,
how about it?
95
00:06:05,946 --> 00:06:08,079
Right, Catwoman.
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00:06:13,018 --> 00:06:15,853
(Batman on tape)
'Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen'
97
00:06:15,855 --> 00:06:21,358
'for all your applause, but
I don't really deserve it.'
98
00:06:24,862 --> 00:06:27,530
[imitating Batman]
Thank you very much,
ladies and gentlemen
99
00:06:27,532 --> 00:06:31,967
for all your applause, but
I don't really deserve it.
100
00:06:31,969 --> 00:06:34,703
If I hadn't heard
Batman with my own ears
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I wouldn't have believed it.
102
00:06:35,939 --> 00:06:37,338
That's quite good, Cornell.
103
00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:41,942
Just clear your throat and
you'll be purr-fect. Ha ha.
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Yes, that oughta do.
105
00:06:52,553 --> 00:06:56,021
- Hmm.
- I'll try it on for size.
106
00:06:58,991 --> 00:07:01,459
Oh, it's time for class.
107
00:07:01,461 --> 00:07:02,393
Oh, listen, fellas.
108
00:07:02,395 --> 00:07:03,627
Make sure you
return that statue.
109
00:07:03,629 --> 00:07:08,431
I want them to think it was
a simple minded prank. Ha ha ha.
110
00:07:08,433 --> 00:07:09,932
Come on, Penn.
111
00:07:09,934 --> 00:07:11,066
Batman's guest
lecturer today
112
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and we wouldn't wanna miss
any of his pearls of wisdom.
113
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Penn, where's your beanie?
114
00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:25,712
I, uh, I must've
lost it somewhere.
115
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Brown, lend him yours.
116
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You cut class.
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(Cornell)
'Catwoman.'
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You're under arrest.
119
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You almost gave me cataplexy.
120
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Hah! I've created a monster.
121
00:07:40,992 --> 00:07:44,994
Oh, well, if I can't tell
the difference, who can?
122
00:07:45,495 --> 00:07:48,830
I still think
it's pretty fishy, Batman.
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Catwoman taking
elementary criminology.
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I agree, Robin.
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Better keep
our eyes peeled.
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00:08:04,678 --> 00:08:06,812
Good day, students.
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00:08:06,814 --> 00:08:09,047
I'll begin by
remarking that
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criminology, like other sciences
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00:08:11,151 --> 00:08:13,184
has made remarkable strides
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'over recent years.'
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(Robin)
'Batman's right, students.'
132
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We catch more crooks in our
Bat-cave anti-crime lab
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than in the field.
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For example, last night
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a certain statue was purloined
right here at Gotham City U.
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This beanie was found at
the scene of the crime.
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There was one strand of
red hair caught in the fabric.
138
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'I have microscopically
analyzed it.'
139
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And here are my findings.
140
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From this single
strand of hair..
141
00:08:48,816 --> 00:08:50,749
...I've been able
to determine..
142
00:08:50,751 --> 00:08:54,786
...that the man is '6"1 and
3 quarters inches in height.
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He's 36 years old,
has flat feet, wears glasses
144
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speaks at a deep voice
and suffers from hay fever.
145
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Help, what do I do?
146
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Cheese it.
I'll set off the bell
147
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with my remote
control cat radio.
148
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Pardon me.
149
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:15,236
[intense music]
150
00:09:17,172 --> 00:09:18,472
[sneezing]
151
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:20,474
[bell ringing]
152
00:09:27,515 --> 00:09:30,550
[indistinct chatter]
153
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:38,124
Okay, okay. Now if all you
students will just clear away..
154
00:09:38,126 --> 00:09:40,960
Batman and I would
like to be alone.
155
00:09:40,962 --> 00:09:44,096
What makes you
think so, Catwoman?
156
00:09:44,098 --> 00:09:48,800
Ooh, I just thought
it would be so amusing.
157
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It would be the first time
you weren't trying to arrest me
158
00:09:52,205 --> 00:09:56,073
and I wasn't
trying to murder you.
159
00:09:57,141 --> 00:09:57,840
Very well.
160
00:09:57,842 --> 00:10:02,578
Just a second while I retrieve
my beanie, my hair, my tweezers
161
00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:05,047
and my notes.
162
00:10:06,549 --> 00:10:09,017
It gets fishier
all the time, Batman.
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00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:11,285
Did you happen to
notice how the bell rang
164
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two minutes after
the class began?
165
00:10:14,556 --> 00:10:17,924
Of course. She's up to
something, Robin.
166
00:10:17,926 --> 00:10:20,860
I'm merely playing
along with it.
167
00:10:21,161 --> 00:10:25,964
I'll bet every female
criminal in America would
168
00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:29,000
swap her time off
for good behavior
169
00:10:29,002 --> 00:10:32,236
just to change
places with me.
170
00:10:33,671 --> 00:10:36,539
- I'm flattered.
- Hmm.
171
00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:44,146
As soon as I graduate, I'll
be coming to you for a job.
172
00:10:44,981 --> 00:10:47,048
What I want most in life..
173
00:10:47,050 --> 00:10:50,785
...is to work side by
side with you, Batman.
174
00:10:51,253 --> 00:10:53,921
That job is filled.
175
00:10:53,923 --> 00:10:55,756
[slurping]
176
00:10:55,758 --> 00:10:57,724
Oh, Robin.
177
00:10:57,726 --> 00:10:58,958
Well..
178
00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,560
...maybe by
that time, he'll be..
179
00:11:01,562 --> 00:11:04,629
...all grown up
and on his own.
180
00:11:04,763 --> 00:11:09,900
I can't tell you how happy I am
about your change of heart.
181
00:11:10,568 --> 00:11:14,972
You seem to have lost
all the egotism..
182
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:18,775
...that once marred
your great beauty.
183
00:11:18,777 --> 00:11:19,675
Batman!
184
00:11:19,677 --> 00:11:21,710
- Batman, we've been framed.
- What?
185
00:11:21,712 --> 00:11:24,446
I just heard over the radio,
someone who looks exactly
186
00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:26,881
like you has been
positively identified
187
00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:27,915
as having robbed
a supermarket.
188
00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:31,818
At least that explains the
curious theft of that statue.
189
00:11:31,820 --> 00:11:34,821
Don't move,
you costumed kook.
190
00:11:34,823 --> 00:11:35,855
We've got you covered.
191
00:11:35,857 --> 00:11:40,092
Your under arrest for
knocking off a supermarket.
192
00:11:41,861 --> 00:11:44,796
- Who the heck are you?
- Name's Courageous.
193
00:11:44,798 --> 00:11:46,330
Captain Courageous.
194
00:11:46,332 --> 00:11:48,932
Just arrived here
from Los Angeles.
195
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:51,067
Under the police
exchange program.
196
00:11:51,069 --> 00:11:53,903
Holy Hollywood.
An out of towner.
197
00:11:53,905 --> 00:11:55,971
That's why he doesn't
know who Batman is.
198
00:11:55,973 --> 00:11:58,239
You say I've been
identified as a criminal?
199
00:11:58,241 --> 00:12:02,209
Twenty witnesses.
What's your alibi?
200
00:12:02,211 --> 00:12:04,411
I've been here
all morning
201
00:12:04,413 --> 00:12:07,046
sipping a soda
with Catwoman.
202
00:12:07,048 --> 00:12:09,114
He was. I'll swear to that.
203
00:12:09,116 --> 00:12:13,918
Ha! Who's gonna take
the word of a fifty time loser?
204
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,221
Snap the handcuffs
on 'em, boys.
205
00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,023
He's a dime.
Call Commissioner Gordon.
206
00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:23,459
Sorry, sonny. Only
one phone call allowed..
207
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:25,727
...to his lawyer,
if the kook has one.
208
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:28,763
That's right, Robin.
Go ahead and make the call.
209
00:12:28,765 --> 00:12:29,497
Your lawyer?
210
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:30,731
The number's in
the phonebook
211
00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:35,035
under the firm name
of Alfred and Alfred.
212
00:12:35,469 --> 00:12:38,003
Alright, let's get goin'.
213
00:12:46,512 --> 00:12:47,278
Yes, Chief O'Hara?
214
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,381
I just heard there's to be
a spontaneous demonstration
215
00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:51,982
in Chimes Square tonight.
216
00:12:51,984 --> 00:12:53,984
Well, now, who's
demonstrating and what for?
217
00:12:53,986 --> 00:12:56,987
The students at Gotham City
University intend to loiter.
218
00:12:56,989 --> 00:12:59,956
And what's more,
Catwoman is the loiter leader.
219
00:12:59,958 --> 00:13:02,758
Catwoman? Assign
every ban you have
220
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,960
to the Gotham
White Way at dusk.
221
00:13:04,962 --> 00:13:06,828
Yes, sir.
222
00:13:12,801 --> 00:13:15,369
- Batman?
- Yes.
223
00:13:15,371 --> 00:13:17,037
My card.
224
00:13:17,039 --> 00:13:19,072
Serge Tort,
attorney at law.
225
00:13:19,074 --> 00:13:21,140
Specialist in felonies,
misdemeanors
226
00:13:21,142 --> 00:13:23,876
and overtime parking tickets.
227
00:13:23,878 --> 00:13:27,379
Uh, sit down, Mr. Tort.
228
00:13:29,181 --> 00:13:35,152
It appears that someone has been
masquerading as me, Mr. Tort.
229
00:13:35,154 --> 00:13:37,554
But I'm innocent.
You have my word.
230
00:13:37,556 --> 00:13:38,888
I'm sure
you are, Mr. Batman.
231
00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:41,490
But, uh, there is
nothing more damaging
232
00:13:41,492 --> 00:13:43,959
than eyewitness testimony.
233
00:13:44,327 --> 00:13:47,829
Good luck, sir.
Think the disguise will work?
234
00:13:47,831 --> 00:13:50,398
Let's hope so, Alfred.
235
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,833
Guard?
236
00:13:53,434 --> 00:13:56,135
Let me out please.
237
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:07,012
Ah, Captain Courageous. How
was the first day on the job?
238
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,914
Not bad. Not bad,
Commissioner Gordon.
239
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:13,851
I captured a desperate
criminal today.
240
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,319
Wonderful, who was it?
241
00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:18,555
Some joker who
calls himself Batman.
242
00:14:18,557 --> 00:14:22,492
Batman! You ninny! Release
him and release him fast.
243
00:14:22,494 --> 00:14:23,192
But-but..
244
00:14:23,194 --> 00:14:26,495
You do very clever impressions
of a motorboat, captain.
245
00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:29,364
- Get moving!
- Yes, sir.
246
00:14:34,036 --> 00:14:36,437
[phone ringing]
247
00:14:36,871 --> 00:14:38,571
- Hello?
- This is Commissioner Gordon.
248
00:14:38,573 --> 00:14:41,240
I'd like to speak
to Mr. Wayne, please.
249
00:14:41,242 --> 00:14:44,610
Yes, just a moment. Bruce.
250
00:14:45,545 --> 00:14:48,213
It's Commissioner Gordon.
251
00:14:50,216 --> 00:14:52,517
Thank you, Aunt Harriet.
Hello, Commissioner.
252
00:14:52,519 --> 00:14:56,854
I just thought you'd be
sorry to learn that Catwoman
253
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:59,022
'intends to
lead sit-in tonight'
254
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:01,357
'in the heart of
Chimes Square, Mr. Wayne.'
255
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,928
I'm certain there's some
illegal reason behind it.
256
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,396
You're her parole officer,
aren't you?
257
00:15:07,398 --> 00:15:11,466
Hmm, I guess I haven't done
a very good job, commissioner.
258
00:15:11,468 --> 00:15:16,404
Still, I must award you
an E for effort. Goodbye.
259
00:15:16,406 --> 00:15:19,206
Commissioner,
the Batman's escaped.
260
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:23,076
Tied up a lawyer
and walked out in disguise.
261
00:15:23,078 --> 00:15:26,512
Ha ha! Good ol' Batman.
No jail can hold him.
262
00:15:26,514 --> 00:15:29,381
Not even ours. He's probably
at the Bat-cave already.
263
00:15:29,383 --> 00:15:34,352
You'll learn soon enough not
to doubt the masked man-hunter.
264
00:15:36,455 --> 00:15:37,455
[beeping]
265
00:15:37,457 --> 00:15:39,490
Yes, commissioner,
you're calling to tell me
266
00:15:39,492 --> 00:15:43,227
about Catwoman's
latest peregrinations.
267
00:15:43,595 --> 00:15:47,898
Incredible.
I just heard about it myself.
268
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,266
How do you do it?
269
00:15:49,268 --> 00:15:50,233
It's my job, commissioner.
270
00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:54,136
I must stay at least two
steps ahead of each criminal.
271
00:15:54,138 --> 00:15:57,239
We'll be at
Chimes Square tonight.
272
00:15:57,241 --> 00:16:00,208
Holy crystal Ball. How'd you
know the phone was gonna ring?
273
00:16:00,210 --> 00:16:04,278
Elementary.
I'll explain on the way down.
274
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,913
To the Bat-poles.
275
00:16:14,221 --> 00:16:17,957
We have yet to determine
Catwoman's ultimate scheme.
276
00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:21,293
Let's program the Bat-calendar
and see what's transpiring
277
00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,128
in Gotham City
this fine day.
278
00:16:23,130 --> 00:16:27,265
I'm sure we'll find
the answer to our plot here.
279
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:31,235
[machine dinging]
280
00:16:33,705 --> 00:16:37,941
There's a prize cat show at
Gotham City Square Garden.
281
00:16:38,943 --> 00:16:41,144
The opening of
the feline fur salon
282
00:16:41,146 --> 00:16:44,113
on the avenue
of the Armenians.
283
00:16:44,948 --> 00:16:48,450
A rock and roll concert
by the Lions and the Tigers
284
00:16:48,452 --> 00:16:50,952
at Space Stadium.
285
00:16:51,186 --> 00:16:55,322
And a Batagonian cat's eye
opal sale at the offices
286
00:16:55,324 --> 00:16:56,456
of the Forever Jewel Company.
287
00:16:56,458 --> 00:16:59,725
I'm afraid we have our work
cut out for us.
288
00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:01,493
To the Batmobile.
289
00:17:01,495 --> 00:17:06,030
Every year, on this date, the
Batagonian cat's eye opal people
290
00:17:06,032 --> 00:17:09,066
arrive in Gotham City
to sell their jewels.
291
00:17:09,068 --> 00:17:11,501
Cat's eye opals?
They're bad luck.
292
00:17:11,503 --> 00:17:15,571
Pish tosh, that's a superstition
not grounded in fact.
293
00:17:15,573 --> 00:17:17,739
Anyway,
they're worth millions.
294
00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:20,274
- We gonna teal 'em?
- 'Naturally.'
295
00:17:20,276 --> 00:17:24,211
I've discovered
where the showroom sale is.
296
00:17:24,213 --> 00:17:25,579
It'll be cat's play.
297
00:17:25,581 --> 00:17:27,547
Yeah, but what about
Batman and the police?
298
00:17:27,549 --> 00:17:30,583
As purr my plan, Batman is
languishing in some jail.
299
00:17:30,585 --> 00:17:34,119
Ha ha! And the befuddled police
will have their gloves full
300
00:17:34,121 --> 00:17:37,489
just clearing those misguided
students off the streets.
301
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:41,392
You've come up with
a beut, Catwoman.
302
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,093
Yes.
303
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:44,594
Yes, I really have.
304
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:48,464
Cornell, go and get the
Catillac and bring it around.
305
00:17:48,466 --> 00:17:54,102
We're gonna transform
Chimes Square into Crime Square.
306
00:17:54,104 --> 00:17:55,770
[laughing]
307
00:17:59,541 --> 00:18:01,275
[intense music]
308
00:18:01,277 --> 00:18:03,710
And that night,
in Chimes Square
309
00:18:03,712 --> 00:18:06,045
on the Gotham City
White Way..
310
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:10,616
(Catwoman)
There's only one way
for us to get our rights!
311
00:18:10,618 --> 00:18:14,686
We must let the world
know about them.
312
00:18:14,688 --> 00:18:17,355
'Students everywhere
will thank us'
313
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:21,058
for what we are
about to do tonight.
314
00:18:21,060 --> 00:18:22,492
Higher rate!
315
00:18:22,494 --> 00:18:25,595
(all)
Yeah!
316
00:18:26,196 --> 00:18:29,064
Now, to it!
317
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:33,400
Go back, students.
Go back.
318
00:18:33,402 --> 00:18:35,068
'Go back to your
homes and hearts.'
319
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:39,238
Can't you see she's trying
to lead you down a phony path?
320
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:42,708
Batman?
I thought he was in jail.
321
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:44,142
I'm afraid that..
322
00:18:44,144 --> 00:18:46,477
...aside from his many
other attributes..
323
00:18:46,479 --> 00:18:51,081
...Batman is probably the
world's greatest escape artist.
324
00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:52,748
No matter.
325
00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:59,755
I have something infinitely
more fiendish in mind for him.
326
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,592
To the elevators.
327
00:19:05,594 --> 00:19:09,630
Moments later, atop the Gotham
City Chimes Building
328
00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:13,600
Catwoman deploys her forces
in the blinking light
329
00:19:13,602 --> 00:19:18,171
of the Crespie's Coffee
mechanical billboard.
330
00:19:19,072 --> 00:19:22,074
[intense music]
331
00:19:23,242 --> 00:19:26,277
Well, citizen to what do we owe
the pleasure of this visit?
332
00:19:26,279 --> 00:19:29,747
I was hoping to revive my
TV show "People Are Funny."
333
00:19:29,749 --> 00:19:33,117
But I can't seem to find any
unusual people in Gotham City.
334
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:37,855
No, this is just an ordinary,
fine, upstanding metropolis.
335
00:19:37,857 --> 00:19:39,389
Not many weirdoes.
336
00:19:39,391 --> 00:19:40,656
Any particular
types in mind?
337
00:19:40,658 --> 00:19:43,659
Oh, someone, perhaps
with a strange costume?
338
00:19:43,661 --> 00:19:46,628
Hmm. No, most
of those characters
339
00:19:46,630 --> 00:19:50,732
like Joker, Penguin,
King Tut are safely locked up.
340
00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:53,468
Maybe somebody
with a dual identity.
341
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:56,204
Or a unique approach
to a problem.
342
00:19:56,206 --> 00:19:58,272
I'm climbing the walls,
looking for them.
343
00:19:58,274 --> 00:19:59,573
I wish we could
help you.
344
00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:01,675
But we're just
ordinary crime fighters
345
00:20:01,677 --> 00:20:03,343
going about
our mundane business.
346
00:20:03,345 --> 00:20:05,678
I see. Well, thank you
for your interest.
347
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:08,313
Maybe I'll give up
the whole idea.
348
00:20:08,315 --> 00:20:11,416
Too bad.
It's a great show.
349
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:19,890
Costumes, dual identity,
climbing the walls.
350
00:20:21,425 --> 00:20:23,526
Hey, Batman!
351
00:20:24,528 --> 00:20:26,395
He should have
been here by now.
352
00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:29,131
- 'Here we are.'
- 'In the flesh.'
353
00:20:29,332 --> 00:20:33,668
Oh, Catwoman.
Catwoman, will you never learn?
354
00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:35,336
Men!
355
00:20:35,338 --> 00:20:38,238
Two obstacles stand
between me and you.
356
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,608
And a life of
splendor and plenty.
357
00:20:41,610 --> 00:20:44,177
Eradicate them!
358
00:20:44,179 --> 00:20:47,313
[instrumental music]
359
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:15,540
Batman! Batman!
360
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,780
[music continues]
361
00:21:32,390 --> 00:21:34,491
Get 'em!
362
00:21:37,895 --> 00:21:40,630
You had your chance, Catwoman.
But you blew it.
363
00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,232
Your a blot on the name of
Gotham City University.
364
00:21:43,234 --> 00:21:47,437
When the students find out what
kind of a person you really are
365
00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:49,539
they'll hate you forever.
366
00:21:49,541 --> 00:21:51,741
[sobbing]
367
00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:54,443
Nobody loves me.
368
00:21:54,944 --> 00:21:58,579
There, there, Catwoman.
It'll be alright.
369
00:21:59,781 --> 00:22:03,383
Can I use my cat-kerchief?
370
00:22:03,385 --> 00:22:06,419
I'm ruining my eye shadow.
371
00:22:08,388 --> 00:22:10,722
Of course.
372
00:22:24,069 --> 00:22:27,071
[spray hissing]
373
00:22:43,021 --> 00:22:44,121
Fools.
374
00:22:44,123 --> 00:22:49,426
Don't they know that tears are
a woman's most effective weapon?
375
00:22:50,394 --> 00:22:52,628
[intense music]
376
00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:54,630
Batman.
377
00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:57,599
Batman! Wake up.
378
00:23:02,938 --> 00:23:04,772
What are you doing?
379
00:23:04,774 --> 00:23:07,441
I've flavored the coffee
in this percolator
380
00:23:07,443 --> 00:23:10,844
with a dash of sulfuric acid.
381
00:23:10,846 --> 00:23:12,779
'Once a minute
the percolator'
382
00:23:12,781 --> 00:23:15,047
'pours it's contents
into the cup.'
383
00:23:15,049 --> 00:23:19,551
So if you get that searing
feeling in your stomachs
384
00:23:19,553 --> 00:23:22,153
it won't be heartburn.
385
00:23:22,155 --> 00:23:24,855
It'll be all burn.
386
00:23:24,857 --> 00:23:26,623
Holy caffeine!
387
00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:32,462
And best of all, everybody
will see you go up in smoke.
388
00:23:32,464 --> 00:23:34,697
Look.
389
00:23:36,499 --> 00:23:39,767
[intense music]
390
00:23:40,468 --> 00:23:45,738
You have a purr-verted sense
of the dramatic, Catwoman.
391
00:23:46,106 --> 00:23:49,775
Your absolutely right.
392
00:23:50,977 --> 00:23:54,079
Brown, throw the switch.
393
00:23:55,881 --> 00:23:57,648
[music continues]
394
00:23:57,650 --> 00:24:02,486
You have one minute.
Bye bye!
395
00:24:03,154 --> 00:24:06,456
What an ignominious end.
396
00:24:06,458 --> 00:24:09,125
Scalded in a coffee cup?
397
00:24:09,127 --> 00:24:12,895
Can this be it
for the Dynamic Duo?
398
00:24:12,897 --> 00:24:18,500
Or are Batman and Robin
still good to the last drip?
399
00:24:18,502 --> 00:24:21,803
Learn the agonizing answer.
400
00:24:21,805 --> 00:24:23,638
Tune in tomorrow.
401
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,539
Same cat-time.
402
00:24:25,541 --> 00:24:28,508
Same cat-channel.
403
00:24:32,579 --> 00:24:34,546
[theme music]
404
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,514
¶ Batman
405
00:24:38,082 --> 00:24:40,783
¶ Batman
406
00:24:41,217 --> 00:24:43,918
¶ Batman
407
00:24:44,653 --> 00:24:46,887
¶ Batman
408
00:24:47,555 --> 00:24:50,857
¶ Batman, Batman
409
00:24:50,859 --> 00:24:53,526
¶ Batman
410
00:24:53,827 --> 00:24:57,095
¶ Batman, Batman
411
00:24:57,097 --> 00:24:59,764
¶ Batman
412
00:25:04,903 --> 00:25:07,471
¶ Na na na na na na na
413
00:25:07,473 --> 00:25:10,540
¶ Batman