¶ Batman
(male narrator) When last we saw Batman and Robin
there were locked in to suits of armor
and about to be pressed in to paper weights
by a giant hydraulic crusher.
In just one moment we'll see
the crunching finish of our adventure.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman Batman
¶ Na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[dramatic music]
[crackling]
[dramatic music]
Batman, Robin. How did you get in there?
Penguin evidently loaded us in to one of your scrap trucks.
But of course you couldn't have known that.
How did you manage to stay alive inside that crusher?
It develops 100,000 pounds of pressure.
Fortunately we were able to reach our utility belts
where we always keep our emergency Bat-airpumps
to pump up the Batmobiles tires.
You mean, you countered the hydraulic pressure
with air pressure?
As the crusher increased its pressure
it automatically increased the counter air pressure
we're able to maintain a small safety space
inside this scrap metal cocoon.
It's lucky you think fast, Batman.
Or both of you would've ended up as paper weights.
Obviously that's what penguin intended
when he put us inside your scrap truck.
I think, it's time we scrapped him.
I think so too, Robin.
I think so too.
[Penguin quacking]
Now, let's get the priceless armor in to the safe.
Why do we have to put her in to the safe?
Don't you trust us?
You got anymore stupid questions?
- No, boss. - Alright, then close it off.
And lock it, fink.
Oh, where is that dizzy filly of soul and dizzier aunt?
I'm not so sure, I like being called dizzy, darling.
And I'm not sure I like all those bumpkins
cluttering up my nice cave.
And where have you two been all this time?
Why out looking for old toads, darling.
You did say you wanted one of Aunt Hilda's potion.
Absolutely essential.
It's a grand finale to our diabolical caper.
Well, I don't know if I'll make it for you.
Barging in here like a rude gang of rowdies.
Oh, don't be angry, Aunt Hilda.
After all Penguin has no place else to go.
No, auntie, you wouldn't want a poor, homeless bird
thrown out in the street, would you?
[quacking]
You're lucky, I'm soft hearted.
Run along, darling, and make your potion.
Pengy and I want to talk.
Hmm.
Frankly, Pengy, I don't see why
you need Aunt Hilda's love potion
to break into this subtreasury building.
Why? Because those guards are as dangerous as sharks, that's why.
There's 10 million dollars worth of gold in that subtreasury.
Why don't you just use the suits of armor?
Well, no. That worked once. It won't a second time. No.
We need your aunt's famous love potion
to-to mobilize the guard.
But once we are inside the vault, then what?
You need a railroad train to move that gold.
Once we get inside we'll use the plans
I stole from the Hexagon.
[laughing]
Oh, dear.
My lizards are gone.
Gone?
They must have escaped.
Unless those thugs ate them.
That's hardly likely, darling. Are the lizards essential?
Not as essentials as the toad.
But the potion won't be as strong.
It has to work, we can't take chances.
Now-now don't get yourself in a stew, Pengy.
I think I'll give the potion a little help.
How?
You've heard of my famous dance of the seven veils, haven't you?
Well, with my dance and Aunt Hilda's potion
we'll have an unbeatable combination.
That's swindler.
Throwing the Dynamic Duo in to a scrap truck.
I'd like to throw him to a scrap pile.
Rot pile, would be more appropriate, Chief O'Hara
since there's one at Gotham State Prison.
Unfortunately this won't get back the medieval armor
or the military papers he stole from the Hexagon Chamber.
According to General McGruder, Batman, when the Penguin
broken in to the room Z at the Hexagon
all he took was some old plans dating from World War II.
With all the top secret documents in that room
Penguin just took some outdated plans?
That's right. Now, what would he want with them?
Did General McGruder say, what plan were taken?
No those plans were taken off the inventory list years ago.
It'll take the army many years to check back
and find out which ones were stored there.
But it only took the army hours
to supply us with those special metal piercing bullets.
In case, if Penguin try to use those chainmail suit again.
I'm sure Penguin won't try that trick again.
But the problem is to decide which trick he will try.
And where will he strike.
And how do we get back that priceless armor?
And on top of everything else
the police switch board is flooded with calls
about hundreds of lizards
running around the Murray Park section of Gotham City.
- Lizards, Chief O'Hara? - That's right, Batman.
And weird ones they were too.
Robin, do lizards ring any bells for you?
Marsha's, Aunt Hilda!
I suggest we take a trip to the Murray Park section.
Meanwhile, in the basement of the subtreasury building
ten million dollars worth of gold bullion
is being carefully guarded.
Boy, this sure is a boring job.
Nothing ever happens around here.
Yeah, it's pretty routine.
How'd ever think of breaking in to a subtreasury?
That gold's too heavy to move anywhere.
[instrumental music]
Do you hear anything?
Yeah.
[music continues]
Hey, you there, put your hands up.
[music continues]
[laughing]
That should take care of them for a while.
Alright, finks. Bring that stuff in here.
Quick. Come on.
Come on. Come on.
[quacking]
Come on, come on.
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
At least 20 people reported
seeing lizards come out of this manhole, Batman.
Yes, Robin, and I think we'll find
what we want at the other end of it.
[dramatic music]
[intense music]
There's no honor among thieves, Robin.
Batman and Robin, how did you get in here?
Put the Bat-cuffs on him, Robin.
[dramatic music]
Oh, you'll never crack that safe, Batman.
Just put your hands in these and cut the comments.
[clanging]
You did it!
It's not difficult if you have a steady nerves and a good ear.
Qualities destroyed by the tenor of criminal life.
Oh, the laughs on you, Batman.
That's nothing compared to the hole he's getting now.
- And what's that? - 'Well, he's..'
Oh, no. You know, Batman.
I might steal, but I don't squeal.
And like the Penguin said, after this caper
Gotham City is going to be in the soup.
Thank you.
You've just told me where Penguin is.
What?
Clip his cuffs to the safe door, Robin.
While we make a fast trip.
How did that hood's remark, tell you where Penguin is?
It wasn't what he said, Robin, but what Penguin had said.
You mean, about being in the soup.
Knowing the Penguin's twisted mind he could mean only thing.
- Soup? - Name a few, Robin.
- Chowder. - Hmm.
- Stew. - Hmm.
- Ragu. - Hmm.
- Bouillabaisse. - Hmm.
Bouillon.
Bullion!
Exactly, old chum. Bullion.
Penguin is undoubtedly
at the federal subtreasury at this very moment.
And I better call, Chief O'Hara.
[instrumental music]
(in unison) Four.
(both) Five.
Hurry, up. Hurry, up.
[quacking]
[music continues]
How much longer is Penguin gonna take?
I'm down to two veils.
I'm just getting warmed up, darling'
(in unison) Six!
Good. That's the last of it.
[music continues]
Come on, Aunt Hilda, let's go.
Oh, really, dearie?
- Really. - Oh.
- Oh, no, Marsha, don't go. - No, Marsha, we adore you.
We-we won't let you out of our sight.
That's very sweet, darling.
But I really must be going.
- No. - No.
Here, dear.
A little something to remember me by.
Come on, auntie.
[dramatic music]
It's an excellent performance.
Your audience is still spellbound.
Good thing you finished, darling.
I was beginning to run out of veils and love potion.
[laughing]
Batman! How did that fink get off the scrapheap?
Never mind that now, darling, We'll be on the scrapheap
unless we beat him into the vault.
There they are, Robin.
Auf wiedersehen.
We missed 'em.
On the contrary, Robin.
We didn't miss them at all.
I see, what you mean, Batman.
He's got the gold, but we've got him.
- Are we too late, Batman? - No, chief, we're just in time.
Where's Penguin?
[O'Hara laughing]
That's beautiful, Batman.
What an ironic end for that crook.
But, he never should have gotten in here in the first place.
- Have you got them, Batman? - Yes, commissioner.
And this time I don't think
there's much chance of them slipping through our fingers.
Not through three feet of steel, there isn't.
Did you send some men to that cave?
Yes, Batman, we've recovered the chainmail armor.
And it won't be long before we were recover Penguin.
It's only enough air in that vault to last a couple of hours.
I can't wait to get me mitts on that cackling bird.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
It's been six hours, Batman.
How are they breathing inside there?
Aah!
[instrumental music]
How much longer?
It's gonna take a while yet, Pengy. It's a big job.
Don't worry, we can stay in here as long as we want.
Only thing is I keep having to listen that I'll go straight.
Can't you make her stop?
Aunt Hilda, gets nervous in closed rooms, darling.
This keeps her occupied.
Uh, not worth the price.
Why don't you try biting your nails?
Penguin could have carried tanks of compressed fresh air
inside with him.
But that's not what worries me.
What then, Batman?
Why, commissioner. Why?
Why did Penguin let us trap him...so easily?
I'm sure it has something to do with those plans
he stole from the hexagon. Whatever they are.
But, he couldn't possibly escape, Batman.
Even if he blew a hole in the wall
I've got 200 men stationed outside.
I'm sure that you and your fine force of men in blue
can handle anything in the realm of the ordinary, chief.
But I have a hunch Penguin is cooking up something
quite out of the ordinary.
Robin, do you have your Bat-sound amplifier with you?
Sure, Batman.
Holy stereo! Listen to this.
[clanging]
[instrumental music]
(man on TV) 'This is the third day that Penguin and his henchmen'
'have been hold up inside the subtreasury vault.
'Commissioner Gordon..'
Three days, Alfred?
Imagine that.
What can he be doing inside there?
I imagine that our law enforcement agencies
are asking the same question, madam.
What could that mangy creature he be doing in there?
I wish I knew, chief.
And what's he doing for food?
I wish I knew, commissioner.
- And what's he-- - I wish I knew, Robin.
Pass the paprika, dearie.
[instrumental music]
Mmm.
This is the best batch of toad stew I've ever made.
Somehow I don't think the men are too enthusiastic
about your cuisine, darling.
I don't see why not.
Do you know how much Vitamin B there is in the average toad?
No.
Just twice the daily minimum requirement.
Well, what's for dinner tonight?
I'm starved.
Let me see.
Oh!
Uh, not again. Can't you cook anything else?
Do you have any idea how much Vitamin B
there's in the average toad, darling?
[dramatic music]
I have a feeling that Penguin
will make his move very soon.
Oh, whatever it is, Batman, we are ready for it.
I'd like to check outside of the building again
to be prepared for every eventuality.
Well, Pengy, we're finished.
Finished?
Well, let me see.
Let me see.
[gasps]
It's beautiful. It's beautiful.
That Batman thought he had me all wrapped up.
That should teach that caped cod fish something.
Never count your penguins before they're latched.
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
Everything looks shipshape, Batman.
Yes, even if he blows through the wall
we'll nail him before he goes ten feet.
Yes, it would seem that way. But I am stilled worried.
[engine revving] Listen.
What's that noise?
Holy armadillos!
[explosion]
Take cover.
[dramatic music]
A solid gold tank.
So those were the plans Penguin stole from the hexagon.
Yes it all makes sense now.
He set up his film company to steal the armor from the museum.
Use the armor to steal the plan from hexagon.
And use the plans to build a solid gold tank.
And now he's invulnerable, Batman.
No one is invulnerable, commissioner.
Not even inside a tank.
I'll stop that mangy bird, if it's the last thing I ever do.
What's Chief O'Hara, up to?
Chief O'Hara!
[dramatic music]
He's blocked the tank.
But he'll be crushed like a walnut.
The brave fool.
[dramatic music]
[crash]
No.
[Penguin laughing]
- Chief O'Hara! - Quickly, help me with this.
Watch it, Batman.
[instrumental music]
- Good heavens, chief. - Never..
Never thought I'd see your face again, Batman.
That was a brave gesture, Chief O'Hara.
Oh, we need more than gestures to stop that fiend.
Quickly to the Batmobile.
- Are you alright, chief? - Look, what he done to me.
[dramatic music]
[theme music]
[quacking]
How does it feel riding around in 20 million dollars, Marsha?
The springs aren't very good, darling.
Springs, every bolt of this machine
is worth a car load of springs.
[explosion]
Who's firing the gun?
It must be Aunt Hilda. She loves loud noises.
[explosion]
Stop that.
Those shells are solid gold.
Every time she fires that cannon cost $50,000.
Oh, let her have some fun, Pengy.
After all you're a millionaire now.
Even a millionaire blinks at $50,000.
[explosion]
Whee!
[dramatic music]
[explosion]
(Hilda) 'Whee!'
We should be able to intercept them at the next crossroads.
Roger. But what do we do when we intercept?
Can you handle the Bat-zooka?
The Bat-zooka? I forget all about it.
You bet I can handle it, Batman.
I hope your aim is good.
They're not even following us. They knew it was hopeless.
Even Batman and Robin were smart enough to see that.
Looks like Batman and Robin
weren't so smart after all, darling.
Hmm?
[theme music]
Whoa! We'll blow 'em to bits.
Sound general quarters. Batten the hatches.
Dive! Dive.
[intense music]
[tires screeching]
[explosion]
[dramatic music]
[clanging]
Easy, Robin.
It's a low-down, unhanded trick.
We're unfoiled again.
It's exasperating.
Oh, be a good loser, darling.
Page from your own book, huh, Penguin?
(Penguin) It's your fault. Wasting those golden shells.
Be quite, dearie.
Or I'll turn you in to a toad.
Should I, Batman?
Thank you, we have other plans for Penguin.
You know, darling, it really is a shame.
You and I could have had a marvelous career in movies.
(Batman) 'I'm afraid your movie career'
will be interrupted for quite a while, Marsha.
[quacking]
[instrumental music]
It was very nice of Batman to donate Penguin's film
to the Wayne Federation of Boys Clubs.
I'm sure the boys will enjoy it.
Too bad Penguin and Marsha, can't see it.
Some how I doubt if they'd want to, Dick.
Besides by the time they get out of prison
this film will probably be on the late show.
[all laughing]
Whatever happened to that weird old lady
who was related to Marsha?
Aunt Hilda?
She's back at her old post teaching her cooking class
at the Bruce Wayne school of home economics, Aunt Harriet.
She never would have left in the first place
if they hadn't been for niece Marsha.
[dramatic music]
You know, Bruce, I think, Batman is quite a good actor.
Oh, my, he's very romantic.
I think Batman would appreciate your compliment, Aunt Harriet.
Well, perhaps, Batman has some show business in his blood.
Hmm. Don't we all, sir?
'Don't we all?'
Next week John Astin
as the Riddler battles Batman.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman Batman
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman