1 00:00:01,099 --> 00:00:04,134 ¶ Batman 2 00:00:08,305 --> 00:00:13,709 (male narrator) An apparently peaceful day in Gotham City. 3 00:00:13,711 --> 00:00:15,477 But, what is this? 4 00:00:15,479 --> 00:00:20,281 An armored car hold up in broad day light? 5 00:00:20,283 --> 00:00:22,283 Bash those cops. 6 00:00:22,285 --> 00:00:23,584 Heist the cash. 7 00:00:23,586 --> 00:00:27,287 Use your guns. I wanna hear some noise. 8 00:00:29,189 --> 00:00:30,389 [tire screeching] 9 00:00:30,391 --> 00:00:31,523 [gunshots] 10 00:00:31,525 --> 00:00:35,126 We'll be a late for that lecture to the Crime Prevention League. 11 00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:37,361 Sounds like we may pick-up new material for the lecture. 12 00:00:37,363 --> 00:00:42,666 There's nothing like a little on-the-job research, ol' chum. 13 00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:44,600 [engine revving] 14 00:00:44,801 --> 00:00:48,270 Lift that loot and put that cash. 15 00:00:48,272 --> 00:00:49,371 Get her out, hurry up. 16 00:00:49,373 --> 00:00:53,675 We're supposed to be crooks, not a bunch of old women. 17 00:00:53,677 --> 00:00:56,511 [intense music] 18 00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:58,779 [tires screeching] 19 00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,450 What are you Bardensky's doing here? 20 00:01:04,452 --> 00:01:08,086 Just a little scholarly research, Penguin. 21 00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:10,788 Stop. 22 00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:13,724 Stop this outrageous intrusion. 23 00:01:15,793 --> 00:01:19,128 [instrumental music] 24 00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:23,498 Cease I say. Cease and desist. 25 00:01:24,833 --> 00:01:27,134 Stop, you bumbling buffoons. 26 00:01:27,136 --> 00:01:29,102 This is legal I tell you, it's legal. 27 00:01:29,104 --> 00:01:32,338 Have you heard of any legalized thievery, Robin? 28 00:01:32,340 --> 00:01:33,372 Can't say that I have, Batman. 29 00:01:33,374 --> 00:01:37,175 (Penguin) 'I'll wipe those silly smirks of yours in court.' 30 00:01:37,177 --> 00:01:39,510 I'll sue you for assault and battery 31 00:01:39,512 --> 00:01:42,379 and aggravated interference. 32 00:01:42,381 --> 00:01:45,115 You're witnessing the final disintegration 33 00:01:45,117 --> 00:01:47,383 of the criminal brain, Robin. 34 00:01:47,385 --> 00:01:50,552 Years of outlawry have taken the inevitable toll. 35 00:01:50,554 --> 00:01:53,621 (Robin) 'But, he's right about our being in court, Batman.' 36 00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:55,823 We'll be the prosecution star witnesses 37 00:01:55,825 --> 00:01:59,793 when they try you for armed robbery. 38 00:01:59,795 --> 00:02:01,461 Mother McCrae, what's happening? 39 00:02:01,463 --> 00:02:04,464 Nothing now chief, lucky we're happening to be passing by. 40 00:02:04,466 --> 00:02:07,733 Oh, no, Batman, it wasn't luck, it was tragedy. 41 00:02:07,735 --> 00:02:10,569 Do your duty O'Hara, set the handcuffs on 'em. 42 00:02:10,571 --> 00:02:13,805 They've attacked these innocent citizens. 43 00:02:13,807 --> 00:02:15,873 Innocent citizens? 44 00:02:16,608 --> 00:02:17,674 What's going on here, chief? 45 00:02:17,676 --> 00:02:22,145 I'm afraid he's right, Batman, look around. 46 00:02:22,312 --> 00:02:24,813 [instrumental music] 47 00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,215 (Robin) 'Holy cinemascope.' 48 00:02:27,217 --> 00:02:29,383 Penguin making pictures. 49 00:02:29,851 --> 00:02:31,718 So, that robbery was just a mock-up. 50 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:35,321 But this permit is no mock-up, Boy Blunderhead. 51 00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,422 It's signed and sealed.. 52 00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,458 '...by the Gotham City Motion Picture Commission.' 53 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:43,195 And I'm gonna sue the city for $10 million 54 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,130 for failure to provide proper protection. 55 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:49,267 Do you hear that, Batman, ten million dollars. 56 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:49,867 I hear you, Penguin. 57 00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:54,404 And you two are going to jail for aggravated assault 58 00:02:54,406 --> 00:02:56,305 and malicious property damage. 59 00:02:56,307 --> 00:02:59,408 Do you hear that, Batman. Jail. 60 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,476 Looks like he's got us this time. 61 00:03:01,478 --> 00:03:04,245 Like rats in the drum. 62 00:03:04,247 --> 00:03:08,716 But...I'm willing to make a deal. 63 00:03:09,584 --> 00:03:13,219 [theme music] 64 00:03:20,594 --> 00:03:22,728 ¶ Batman 65 00:03:23,730 --> 00:03:25,864 ¶ Batman 66 00:03:26,932 --> 00:03:29,266 ¶ Batman 67 00:03:30,201 --> 00:03:32,335 ¶ Batman 68 00:03:33,337 --> 00:03:34,770 ¶ Batman 69 00:03:34,772 --> 00:03:36,538 ¶ Batman 70 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:38,673 ¶ Batman 71 00:03:39,641 --> 00:03:41,274 ¶ Batman 72 00:03:41,276 --> 00:03:42,775 ¶ Batman 73 00:03:42,777 --> 00:03:44,943 ¶ Batman 74 00:03:44,945 --> 00:03:48,346 ¶ Na na na na na na na 75 00:03:48,348 --> 00:03:51,749 ¶ Batman 76 00:03:54,786 --> 00:03:58,188 [instrumental music] 77 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:27,684 But, Batman, this is a contract for you and Robin 78 00:04:27,686 --> 00:04:31,354 to act in Penguin's picture ...and you've signed it. 79 00:04:31,356 --> 00:04:33,356 Oh, it was blackmail, commissioner. 80 00:04:33,358 --> 00:04:35,825 Why, that bird trapped them into it. 81 00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:36,725 Not exactly, chief. 82 00:04:36,727 --> 00:04:40,228 - What do you mean, Batman. - I wanted to sign it, Robin. 83 00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,863 You knew that robbery was a fake right from the start? 84 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:45,432 Yes, I saw the movie equipment as we drove up. 85 00:04:45,434 --> 00:04:50,236 I didn't have time to explain, but I wanted Penguin 86 00:04:50,238 --> 00:04:51,904 to think that he trapped us. 87 00:04:51,906 --> 00:04:52,638 Why, Batman. 88 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,307 When someone like Penguin sets up a movie company 89 00:04:55,309 --> 00:04:59,477 you can be sure, it's not only film he's after, commissioner. 90 00:04:59,479 --> 00:05:00,444 Sure and that's the truth. 91 00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:04,514 You signed that contract so we can keep an eye on Penguin. 92 00:05:04,516 --> 00:05:05,348 Precisely, Robin. 93 00:05:05,350 --> 00:05:09,752 We can stay close to him without arousing his suspicion. 94 00:05:09,754 --> 00:05:12,588 What do you think the Penguin's planning, Batman? 95 00:05:12,590 --> 00:05:14,790 That's what we'll try to find out, Commissioner. 96 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:19,261 He's gone to a lot of expense to establish this film company 97 00:05:19,263 --> 00:05:24,299 so we can be sure... it's something...big. 98 00:05:24,301 --> 00:05:27,602 [instrumental music] 99 00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,977 Where's Marsha, Queen of Diamonds? 100 00:05:35,979 --> 00:05:38,479 She is two hours late, Ms. Patterson. 101 00:05:38,481 --> 00:05:40,714 We're trying to locate her, Mr. Penguin. 102 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,883 Try harder, time is money in the movie business. 103 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,852 - Yes, Mr. Penguin. - Quack. 104 00:05:48,855 --> 00:05:49,788 6Prop department. 105 00:05:49,790 --> 00:05:53,892 (male #1) 'No, Mr. Penguin this is the set department.' 106 00:05:53,894 --> 00:05:54,859 Prop department. 107 00:05:54,861 --> 00:05:58,929 (male #2) 'Sorry, Mr. Penguin, this is publicity.' 108 00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:00,797 Prop department. 109 00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,533 Prop department. 110 00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:06,901 Prop department. 111 00:06:06,903 --> 00:06:09,003 (male #3) 'Yes, Mr. Penguin.' 112 00:06:09,005 --> 00:06:10,704 Forgot what I wanted you for. 113 00:06:10,706 --> 00:06:14,607 Oh yes, have you ordered that milk for scene 12 tomorrow? 114 00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:17,676 'Yes, sir, the tank trucks are arriving now.' 115 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,444 '24,000 gallons.' 116 00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,612 [Penguin laughing] 117 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,313 (Ms. Patterson) 'Mr. Penguin.' 118 00:06:23,315 --> 00:06:23,980 Yes, Ms. Patterson. 119 00:06:23,982 --> 00:06:26,816 (Ms. Patterson) 'Marsha, Queen of Diamonds is here.' 120 00:06:26,818 --> 00:06:29,585 Send her in, send her in. 121 00:06:31,387 --> 00:06:35,456 Oh, I see that you're at your glittering best my dear. 122 00:06:35,458 --> 00:06:36,623 Thank you, darling. 123 00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:40,827 Now, how do you suggest I get across this football field 124 00:06:40,829 --> 00:06:41,761 you call an office? 125 00:06:41,763 --> 00:06:46,732 Well, just, uh, hop into my Pengy-mobile and ride over. 126 00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:48,800 Oh! 127 00:06:50,402 --> 00:06:53,537 [instrumental music] 128 00:06:57,875 --> 00:06:58,608 Oh, my, my. 129 00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:03,879 You are even more ravishing than usual, Marsha, my darling. 130 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:07,983 Skip the compliments, darling, you wouldn't have asked me here 131 00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:10,018 if you didn't want something. 132 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,119 Yes, I do want something. 133 00:07:11,121 --> 00:07:13,955 I want to make you a millionairess. 134 00:07:13,957 --> 00:07:16,791 How boring, I'm already a millionairess. 135 00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:17,658 Heh-heh, that's true. 136 00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:21,395 Then how would you like to be a billionairess? 137 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,062 That's interesting. 138 00:07:22,064 --> 00:07:25,932 And all you have to do is become my partner 139 00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:27,500 in this motion picture company. 140 00:07:27,502 --> 00:07:30,903 Oh, come now, Pengy, you don't really think there's 141 00:07:30,905 --> 00:07:32,704 a billion dollars in filmmaking. 142 00:07:32,706 --> 00:07:36,074 Oh, this motion picture company is just a front. 143 00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:37,041 - A front? - Right. 144 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:39,076 A front, for what, for what? 145 00:07:39,078 --> 00:07:42,145 For the biggest caper ever to be pulled in Gotham City. 146 00:07:42,147 --> 00:07:46,582 But, I need capital because this is a very expensive front. 147 00:07:46,584 --> 00:07:47,416 How much capital? 148 00:07:47,418 --> 00:07:51,486 Mm, much as we can get about a dozen of those diamonds 149 00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:53,921 that you're wearing is a start. 150 00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:56,089 And for a dozen of my diamonds 151 00:07:56,091 --> 00:07:58,758 I will be the star of your film of course. 152 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:02,628 I was thinking of somebody with more, with more.. 153 00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:05,130 If you're thinking of my diamonds, darling 154 00:08:05,132 --> 00:08:07,665 you were thinking of me for the star. 155 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:11,435 The star of my film is...Batman. 156 00:08:11,437 --> 00:08:13,970 Batman! Batman! How did you get him? 157 00:08:13,972 --> 00:08:18,140 Oh, my usual little, uh, cunning chicanery. 158 00:08:18,142 --> 00:08:20,408 Along with the Boy Wonder. 159 00:08:20,410 --> 00:08:21,475 How's that for a coo? 160 00:08:21,477 --> 00:08:23,877 - Very clever. - Mmm. 161 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:26,880 - Pengy darling.. - Yeah? 162 00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,514 Does Batman have a love scene 163 00:08:28,516 --> 00:08:30,716 with the leading lady in your film? 164 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:31,850 [Penguin laughing] Of course. 165 00:08:31,852 --> 00:08:34,485 Whoever heard of a film without a love scene. 166 00:08:34,487 --> 00:08:37,588 Then, I shall be your leading lady.. 167 00:08:37,590 --> 00:08:38,789 ...or no diamonds. 168 00:08:38,791 --> 00:08:42,125 I might be able to get my Aunt Hilda to whip up 169 00:08:42,127 --> 00:08:44,060 a love-potion for my lipstick. 170 00:08:44,062 --> 00:08:45,161 Your Aunt Hilda. 171 00:08:45,163 --> 00:08:48,797 Is that old witch still practicing her black magic? 172 00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:49,964 The blackest, darling. 173 00:08:49,966 --> 00:08:54,068 And with her help, I'll finally get Batman in my power. 174 00:08:54,070 --> 00:08:57,504 Very good. That's an additional bit of chicanery. Alright. 175 00:08:57,506 --> 00:08:59,806 - Is it a deal? - It's a deal. 176 00:08:59,808 --> 00:09:00,439 Ah, good. 177 00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:03,041 I wouldn't mind winning an Oscar. 178 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,442 An Oscar? 179 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,576 You don't want one of those. 180 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:08,545 My dear, if you play along with me you're liable to win 181 00:09:08,547 --> 00:09:12,715 the most coveted award in the entire motion picture business. 182 00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:17,754 You are liable to win...a Penguin. 183 00:09:18,856 --> 00:09:21,924 Penguin script looks innocent enough, Robin. 184 00:09:21,926 --> 00:09:27,062 An historical spectacles set in the days of Ancient Rome. 185 00:09:27,064 --> 00:09:28,129 Holy miscast, Batman! 186 00:09:28,131 --> 00:09:30,264 We play a pair of barbarian bandits 187 00:09:30,266 --> 00:09:32,332 to fight his gladiators in the Colosseum. 188 00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:34,334 Casting us as bandits would appeal 189 00:09:34,336 --> 00:09:36,803 to Penguin's warped sense of humor. 190 00:09:36,805 --> 00:09:39,705 He sure gonna want us jumping through hooks, Batman. 191 00:09:39,707 --> 00:09:42,107 But, I'm afraid we'll have to jump, Robin. 192 00:09:42,109 --> 00:09:45,977 At least until we find out what he's up to. 193 00:09:46,712 --> 00:09:50,848 But, we don't have to make things easy for him. 194 00:09:50,850 --> 00:09:55,018 Take a look at scene 12 on page 33. 195 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:02,191 Gosh, Batman, what a scene? 196 00:10:02,193 --> 00:10:03,158 I think someone connected 197 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,026 with the Gotham City film decency league 198 00:10:05,028 --> 00:10:09,263 should take a look at this script, what do you think? 199 00:10:10,932 --> 00:10:12,065 What do you think, Robin? 200 00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:16,235 Oh, I think Penguin's gonna be in very hot water, Batman. 201 00:10:16,237 --> 00:10:18,003 That's what I think. 202 00:10:19,138 --> 00:10:22,273 [instrumental music] 203 00:10:25,377 --> 00:10:27,611 This must be it, Robin. 204 00:10:46,263 --> 00:10:47,930 Holy movie moguls, Batman. 205 00:10:47,932 --> 00:10:51,400 Penguin's certainly playing his part in the cult. 206 00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:53,969 [Penguin laughing] 207 00:10:53,971 --> 00:10:56,838 Well, there's my two ham actors. 208 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:58,172 Only ham, here's wearing a top hat. 209 00:10:58,174 --> 00:11:02,409 Tut-tut, Boy Bundler, we can't all be great artists. 210 00:11:05,813 --> 00:11:07,847 [music continues] 211 00:11:07,849 --> 00:11:08,881 (Penguin) 'There it is..' 212 00:11:08,883 --> 00:11:13,252 An exact duplicate of the famous Tyrrhenian bath 213 00:11:13,254 --> 00:11:14,253 in ancient Rome. 214 00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:16,355 This is for scene 12 I take it. 215 00:11:16,357 --> 00:11:17,723 You like that scene, Batman? 216 00:11:17,725 --> 00:11:19,758 It's in very poor taste, Penguin. 217 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,261 It's a fantastically magnificent scene 218 00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:24,829 I wrote it myself. 219 00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:26,330 Obviously. 220 00:11:26,332 --> 00:11:29,032 What's the reason for the blindfolds, Batman? 221 00:11:29,034 --> 00:11:33,870 The reason is arriving now, Boy Bromide. 222 00:11:33,872 --> 00:11:35,805 [instrumental music] 223 00:11:39,309 --> 00:11:40,275 Hello, darling. 224 00:11:40,277 --> 00:11:44,345 This will be the most startling spectacle ever 225 00:11:44,347 --> 00:11:46,246 'to hit the screen.' 226 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:53,353 Wardrobe. Where is Ms. Marsha's, ha-ha-ha, costume? 227 00:11:53,355 --> 00:11:56,022 Ah, there it is, very good. 228 00:11:56,024 --> 00:12:00,059 Perfect, perfect, thank you, thank you. 229 00:12:00,061 --> 00:12:00,959 [laughing] 230 00:12:00,961 --> 00:12:05,363 Are you ready to make history with this milk bath, my dear? 231 00:12:05,365 --> 00:12:08,165 Ready whenever you are, C.B. 232 00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:12,102 The love-potion in my lipstick is ready too. 233 00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:18,107 Oh, Batman and Robin, how nice to see you? 234 00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,408 You too, Mrs. Cooper. 235 00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:25,147 Could you point out someone called Mr. Penguin to me? 236 00:12:25,149 --> 00:12:27,182 I am Mr. Penguin, ma'am. 237 00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:29,083 And I am Mrs. Harriet Cooper 238 00:12:29,085 --> 00:12:34,054 of the Gotham City League of film decency. 239 00:12:34,056 --> 00:12:35,121 Film decency? 240 00:12:35,123 --> 00:12:36,489 What you doing here Mrs. C? 241 00:12:36,491 --> 00:12:39,358 We have read your script, Mr. Penguin 242 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,094 and we can not approve the scene 243 00:12:42,096 --> 00:12:45,163 'which you apparently are about to shoot.' 244 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:46,097 This is outrageous. 245 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,333 As the leading entrepreneur of Gotham City I will not submit 246 00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:53,236 to having one page of my masterpiece enfeebled. 247 00:12:53,238 --> 00:12:57,873 And we will not submit to such bullying tones. 248 00:12:57,875 --> 00:13:02,010 Kindly remove your Victorian mind from my set Mrs. C. 249 00:13:02,012 --> 00:13:07,081 Only when you remove this morbid scene from your film. 250 00:13:07,083 --> 00:13:11,385 - Think of the children. - I am thinking of the children. 251 00:13:11,387 --> 00:13:13,787 Look at this, look at this here. 252 00:13:13,789 --> 00:13:17,357 23,000 quartz of homogenized milk here 253 00:13:17,359 --> 00:13:21,794 fortified with vitamin C, I tell you this whole scene 254 00:13:21,796 --> 00:13:24,963 is bursting with minerals and vitamins. 255 00:13:24,965 --> 00:13:28,366 This scene is bursting with other things as well. 256 00:13:28,368 --> 00:13:33,104 Oh, you know I suspect this is your doing, masked meddlers. 257 00:13:33,106 --> 00:13:35,406 You're always poking your proboscis 258 00:13:35,408 --> 00:13:36,440 into other people's business. 259 00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:39,075 Decency is everybody's business, Penguin. 260 00:13:39,077 --> 00:13:41,911 Alright! Alright, we will cut the scene. 261 00:13:41,913 --> 00:13:47,149 And instead, we will do scene 43, get ready, Marsha. 262 00:13:47,151 --> 00:13:53,021 And you, Batman, take your place for scene 43. 263 00:13:54,223 --> 00:13:56,924 Scene 43 that's one where you and Marsha-- 264 00:13:56,926 --> 00:13:59,059 Yes, I know, Robin. 265 00:13:59,061 --> 00:14:01,261 But, I'll have to do it. 266 00:14:08,902 --> 00:14:11,069 [instrumental music] 267 00:14:11,071 --> 00:14:14,972 I trust you're goin' to enjoy this scene, Batman darling. 268 00:14:14,974 --> 00:14:19,276 I made a bargain with Penguin and I never break my word. 269 00:14:19,278 --> 00:14:19,876 Bargain? 270 00:14:19,878 --> 00:14:23,112 Half the men in the world would fight to be kissed 271 00:14:23,114 --> 00:14:24,947 by Marsha, Queen of Diamonds . 272 00:14:24,949 --> 00:14:27,215 They certainly wouldn't have to fight me. 273 00:14:27,217 --> 00:14:31,052 Very appalling lack of enthusiasm, darlin'. 274 00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,019 But, don't worry. 275 00:14:32,021 --> 00:14:36,056 I have enough enthusiasm for both of us. 276 00:14:36,058 --> 00:14:37,590 Lights. 277 00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:39,858 Camera. 278 00:14:40,025 --> 00:14:41,925 (Penguin) 'Action.' 279 00:14:48,132 --> 00:14:48,931 'Cut it.' 280 00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:50,432 'That's not good enough.' 281 00:14:50,434 --> 00:14:53,835 Batman, I want you to put some crack into it. 282 00:14:53,837 --> 00:14:56,103 We'll do it again and again and again. 283 00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:59,005 Once is enough you, feathered fraud. 284 00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,040 Tut-tut, Boy Bluenose. 285 00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:02,041 Penguin is a perfectionist. 286 00:15:02,043 --> 00:15:05,377 I'll do it a hundred times if it's necessary. 287 00:15:05,379 --> 00:15:07,612 And it will be necessary. 288 00:15:08,213 --> 00:15:09,913 Alright, action. 289 00:15:14,451 --> 00:15:18,587 Oh, Bruce, your lips are terribly chapped. 290 00:15:18,589 --> 00:15:21,323 It is a mild case of wind burn, Aunt Harriet 291 00:15:21,325 --> 00:15:24,592 you see this afternoon, Dick and I took an open bus tour 292 00:15:24,594 --> 00:15:27,294 through the Wayne Animal Sanctuary. 293 00:15:27,296 --> 00:15:31,031 Well, I'm going to get you some salve for those lips. 294 00:15:31,033 --> 00:15:35,268 Just in case a pretty girl wants to kiss you. 295 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:40,272 I'll bet you'll never want to kiss a girl as long as you live. 296 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:44,142 I wouldn't say that, you're jumping to a rash conclusion. 297 00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:47,211 You look like you're puttin' up quite a struggle alright. 298 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:51,014 I think there was some kind of potion in her lipstick. 299 00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:51,948 - Potion? - Yes. 300 00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:56,018 I think, a love inducing elixir of some sort. 301 00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,419 No wonder your lips are chapped. 302 00:15:57,421 --> 00:16:00,021 It took a great amount of concentration 303 00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:01,255 to combat it's effectiveness. 304 00:16:01,257 --> 00:16:03,523 Good, but speaking of the immediate future 305 00:16:03,525 --> 00:16:05,057 why do you think Penguin is shooting 306 00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:08,994 tomorrow's scene at the Gotham City Museum of Antiquities? 307 00:16:08,996 --> 00:16:11,896 He claims he wants to use the museum as a background 308 00:16:11,898 --> 00:16:17,968 for his films...but, I suspect he has something bigger in mind. 309 00:16:17,970 --> 00:16:19,002 Shouldn't we do something? 310 00:16:19,004 --> 00:16:21,504 That museum is full of priceless and irreplaceable art. 311 00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:23,072 I have done something about it, Dick. 312 00:16:23,074 --> 00:16:26,675 I went and planted Bat-homing devices on every object of art. 313 00:16:26,677 --> 00:16:30,478 Alfred, have you been keeping an eye on the Bat-radarscopes? 314 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:33,647 Yes, sir, and so far the signals from the Bat-homing devices 315 00:16:33,649 --> 00:16:38,685 indicate that all the objects of art are still in the museum. 316 00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:42,455 I suspect some of the objects will be moved 317 00:16:42,457 --> 00:16:44,356 before the night is over. 318 00:16:44,358 --> 00:16:46,491 And we'll know exactly where Penguin's taking them. 319 00:16:46,493 --> 00:16:50,394 So far, our overall plan is working like a charm, Bruce. 320 00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:53,964 So far, Dick...so far. 321 00:16:54,131 --> 00:16:57,032 Didn't you think I was magnificent in that love scene? 322 00:16:57,034 --> 00:17:00,201 You're certainly better than the potion in that lipstick. 323 00:17:00,203 --> 00:17:02,469 That left Batman colder than an iceberg. 324 00:17:02,471 --> 00:17:06,206 Yes, Aunt Hilda obviously forgot to put enough oomph into it. 325 00:17:06,208 --> 00:17:08,508 Anyway, your plan is working so far. 326 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:09,575 What do you mean so far? 327 00:17:09,577 --> 00:17:12,277 A Penguin plan is money in the bank. 328 00:17:12,279 --> 00:17:16,314 Money in the bank is no good, our problem is getting it out. 329 00:17:16,316 --> 00:17:19,450 Don't worry, it'll be outta the bank and in our hands soon. 330 00:17:19,452 --> 00:17:23,253 You see, it's stage one is already in progress. 331 00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,289 Right now, my men should be at the museum of antiquities 332 00:17:26,291 --> 00:17:29,225 and stage two is likewise under control. 333 00:17:29,227 --> 00:17:30,726 Now for stage three, I will need 334 00:17:30,728 --> 00:17:32,961 another love potion from your Aunt Hilda 335 00:17:32,963 --> 00:17:35,630 and the one that really, really work this time. 336 00:17:35,632 --> 00:17:37,064 I'll see what I can do, darling. 337 00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:41,735 In the meantime, you have to tell me what stage three is. 338 00:17:41,737 --> 00:17:44,003 No, I never trust a woman with a secret 339 00:17:44,005 --> 00:17:48,474 if you're nothing else, Marsha, you're certainly a woman. 340 00:17:48,476 --> 00:17:51,109 A woman with diamonds, darling. 341 00:17:51,111 --> 00:17:54,345 Or would you rather return my, uh, collateral to me? 342 00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:57,348 No, no, that's extortion, Marsha. 343 00:17:57,350 --> 00:18:02,586 You should know, darling, you should know. 344 00:18:03,187 --> 00:18:06,656 - Hello, Aunt Hilda. - Hello, dearie. 345 00:18:09,426 --> 00:18:11,093 What is that? 346 00:18:11,095 --> 00:18:14,463 Maltimus, say hello to Marsha. 347 00:18:15,064 --> 00:18:16,697 [growling] 348 00:18:16,699 --> 00:18:21,201 Aunt Hilda, have you been robbing grave yards again? 349 00:18:21,203 --> 00:18:23,269 Oh, no, dearie. 350 00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:25,170 I left off that 20 years ago. 351 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:29,440 When I was chemistry professor at Vassar, until I quit. 352 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,442 Don't you mean until you were fired? 353 00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:35,078 A term I find most unappealing, dearie. 354 00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,048 Speaking of things unappealing, where did you get that? 355 00:18:39,050 --> 00:18:42,819 I left one of the potions in the cauldron overnight 356 00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:46,122 and next morning there was Maltimus. 357 00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:49,125 (Aunt Hilda) 'He's really quite friendly.' 358 00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:53,762 How are you doing with your other potions these days? 359 00:18:53,764 --> 00:18:54,529 Other potions? 360 00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:57,231 That one you put in my lipstick was a complete failure. 361 00:18:57,233 --> 00:19:01,134 That was because I ran out of chameleons tongues, dearie. 362 00:19:01,136 --> 00:19:03,703 But if you want something really strong.. 363 00:19:03,705 --> 00:19:04,437 I do, I do. 364 00:19:04,439 --> 00:19:08,407 I was just about to whip up one of my bests. 365 00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:11,309 The old toad potion. 366 00:19:11,810 --> 00:19:14,478 My very strongest. 367 00:19:16,514 --> 00:19:18,548 Oh dear. 368 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:21,517 I'm afraid, I'm out of old toads too. 369 00:19:21,519 --> 00:19:25,254 Can't you substitute some new toads. 370 00:19:25,256 --> 00:19:27,923 It would never work, dearie. 371 00:19:28,291 --> 00:19:32,527 We've just got to get some more old toads. 372 00:19:32,694 --> 00:19:35,829 [instrumental music] 373 00:19:44,438 --> 00:19:47,740 It doesn't look as if Penguin took anything, Batman. 374 00:19:47,742 --> 00:19:48,574 No, it doesn't, Robin. 375 00:19:48,576 --> 00:19:53,178 All our homing devices seem to be in place. 376 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:55,346 But, I'm still suspicious, Robin. 377 00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:57,948 Suspicious of what, caped codger. 378 00:19:57,950 --> 00:20:01,584 Don't tell me you're suspicious about Penguin tampering 379 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:04,820 with these priceless works of art. 380 00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:06,621 That thought did cross my mind. 381 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,556 What, a great filmmaker like myself 382 00:20:08,558 --> 00:20:11,525 stooping to a petty theft, that's ridiculous. 383 00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:14,361 What's ridiculous is thinking you're a great filmmaker. 384 00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:17,230 I write the lines around here, Boy Blowhard. 385 00:20:17,232 --> 00:20:20,700 You stick to the script...speaking of which. 386 00:20:20,702 --> 00:20:22,268 Your big scene is coming up. 387 00:20:22,270 --> 00:20:26,538 I must see to it that everything is...prepared. 388 00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:28,473 [laughing] 389 00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:32,809 - Thank heaven you're here. - What's wrong, Mr. Tammer. 390 00:20:32,811 --> 00:20:34,243 The museum's priceless collection 391 00:20:34,245 --> 00:20:37,412 of 15th century chainmail armor, it's gone. 392 00:20:37,414 --> 00:20:38,479 That's impossible, out Bat-ho-- 393 00:20:38,481 --> 00:20:42,983 There is one factor I could have overlooked, Robin. 394 00:20:42,985 --> 00:20:44,651 The metal alloy in that armor 395 00:20:44,653 --> 00:20:45,985 could've set off a magnetic field 396 00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:47,453 which blocked our homing transmission. 397 00:20:47,455 --> 00:20:49,721 (Mr. Tammer) 'You have to get them back, Batman.' 398 00:20:49,723 --> 00:20:53,791 That you unique alloy was invented by the great master 399 00:20:53,793 --> 00:20:55,325 Bienavenuto Violini. 400 00:20:55,327 --> 00:20:56,659 - Violini? - 'Yes.' 401 00:20:56,661 --> 00:20:58,994 'He made the chainmail armor out of it.' 402 00:20:58,996 --> 00:21:02,564 We'll try our best, but I think you should move 403 00:21:02,566 --> 00:21:04,532 out of this room. 404 00:21:04,866 --> 00:21:08,368 There could be some trouble here. 405 00:21:08,669 --> 00:21:10,336 [instrumental music] 406 00:21:10,338 --> 00:21:13,639 I think Batman has discovered the missing armor. 407 00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:15,607 We better start the scene early. 408 00:21:15,609 --> 00:21:20,511 Alright, Batman, a light rehearsal. Action. 409 00:21:21,312 --> 00:21:23,546 I've a strange feeling Penguin's going to make 410 00:21:23,548 --> 00:21:25,514 this a very realistic scene, Robin. 411 00:21:25,516 --> 00:21:29,651 If he wants realism, we'll give him realism. 412 00:21:30,419 --> 00:21:31,819 [music continues] 413 00:21:31,821 --> 00:21:33,020 Hit men halt. 414 00:21:33,022 --> 00:21:34,654 Ten-hut. 415 00:21:34,656 --> 00:21:36,455 One, two.. 416 00:21:42,562 --> 00:21:46,464 That's it. Skewer the [indistinct]. 417 00:21:46,466 --> 00:21:49,266 Spear them like a cucumber. 418 00:21:51,535 --> 00:21:52,768 [instrumental music] 419 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,303 That's not in the script, Batman. 420 00:21:55,305 --> 00:21:55,970 I'm directing the scene. 421 00:21:55,972 --> 00:21:59,673 Maybe we'll get you in the scene, Penguin. 422 00:22:55,529 --> 00:23:01,400 Those costume corrupts are slicing my finkster ribbons. 423 00:23:14,614 --> 00:23:16,581 Shield your eyes, Robin. 424 00:23:17,816 --> 00:23:19,516 [dramatic music] 425 00:23:19,518 --> 00:23:24,487 I will give those two-bit actors a piece of real action. 426 00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:27,756 This catapult will hurl you through the sky 427 00:23:27,758 --> 00:23:29,090 and across Gotham City. 428 00:23:29,092 --> 00:23:31,025 I'm sure you'll make a big splash 429 00:23:31,027 --> 00:23:33,394 at the other end of your journey. 430 00:23:33,396 --> 00:23:37,631 And you last moments on earth will be recorded for posterity 431 00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:40,500 by the two cameras that are strapped to your legs. 432 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:43,503 And I'll show the film in a special premiere 433 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,905 for the benefits of the amalgamated 434 00:23:45,907 --> 00:23:48,674 crooks of Gotham City. 435 00:23:49,108 --> 00:23:50,508 In flight a motion pictures 436 00:23:50,510 --> 00:23:54,745 benefit of Penguin Productions Unlimited. 437 00:23:59,083 --> 00:24:00,917 Good flight, masked missiles. 438 00:24:00,919 --> 00:24:04,687 We'll watch from a better advantage point. 439 00:24:06,656 --> 00:24:07,756 Farewell. 440 00:24:07,758 --> 00:24:12,393 The caped crusaders to end smashed flat? 441 00:24:12,395 --> 00:24:17,464 While Pengy's cameras record the splat? 442 00:24:17,466 --> 00:24:19,799 Et tu, Pengy? 443 00:24:19,801 --> 00:24:23,602 Friends, Romans, countrymen. 444 00:24:23,604 --> 00:24:24,803 Find out next week! 445 00:24:24,805 --> 00:24:29,941 Same Bat-Time, same Bat-channel! 446 00:24:34,046 --> 00:24:36,647 [theme music] 447 00:24:36,649 --> 00:24:38,782 ¶ Batman 448 00:24:39,784 --> 00:24:41,918 ¶ Batman 449 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,987 ¶ Batman 450 00:24:46,022 --> 00:24:48,156 ¶ Batman 451 00:24:49,158 --> 00:24:50,825 ¶ Batman 452 00:24:50,827 --> 00:24:52,526 ¶ Batman 453 00:24:52,528 --> 00:24:54,661 ¶ Batman 454 00:24:55,629 --> 00:24:57,162 ¶ Batman 455 00:24:57,164 --> 00:24:58,763 ¶ Batman 456 00:24:58,765 --> 00:25:00,898 ¶ Batman 457 00:25:06,471 --> 00:25:08,972 ¶ Na na na na na na 458 00:25:08,974 --> 00:25:12,442 ¶ Batman