¶ Batman
As you recall, we left Batman and Robin
staked out by Shame in the path of a cattle stampede.
Things haven't improved any since we left them.
And in a moment, we'll see what happens.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
Just a few seconds left, Batman.
And there's no way out.
Courage, Robin. Keep your mask up.
The rumbling of the cattle's hooves has loosened my stake.
[music continues]
[grunting]
[mooing]
Stay right where you are, Robin. Don't make a move.
Toro. Toro.
Hey, hey, toro.
Toro, hey, hey.
Ole, Batman!
Toro.
(Batman) 'Hey, toro, toro.'
Bravo! Bravo! More.
Hey, hey, hey, toro.
Ole.
Ole, Batman.
Ole.
[dramatic music]
Oh. Phew.
Oh, I always thought they went for red capes, Batman.
Merely an affectation, Robin.
Something to make the corrida seem more colorful.
Actually bull's are color blind.
They react movement. Not to color.
Holy toreador!
The word is matador, Robin.
Toreador is a word of convenience used by Bizet
in his classic opera "Carmen."
Oh. Holy matador, then.
Very apt.
Batman, Boy Wonder, what happened?
I thought it was all a game.
It was, Andy.
The most dangerous game of all.
And the stakes were life and death.
And we darn near died.
There's one thing in life you should learn.
It is to listen to your father and mother.
And I don't think they'd approve of your association with Shame.
You're right, Batman.
I should have know better.
But after all, I'm only seven-years-old.
You're never too young to learn
the difference between good and evil.
If I see him, I'll walk on the other side of the street.
I promise.
But I'd sure like my radio back.
We'll see about that.
Let's go, Robin.
We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow.
Goodbye, Andy.
[instrumental music]
Now that we know he's building a truck
we'll have to discard our theory that he's stealing
all those parts so he can race in the Grand Prix.
Sure, and that $100,000 in the prize is cattle feed to Shame.
Yet, what could his reason be?
I suggest we visit the one man in Gotham City who knows
what's happening in the world of wheels.
- Hot Rod Harry at KGC. - Yeah.
[engine revving]
Good luck, Dynamic Duo.
Shame, come back.
Come back, Shame.
Shame, come back.
Now, stay tuned for the news on KGC.
The number one rated radio station in the world.
Stationville, breakville, nowisville.
Well, hello, Caped Crusaders. What can I do for you?
Shame is building a super fast truck.
We're trying to figure out the reason why.
Well, the drag races are all over for the year.
Other than that, I can't think of a thing, Boy Wonder.
Hey, there's one another cat who knows more about
where the automotive action is
than the top rated DJ in GC town.
Who is that, Mr. Harry?
Laughing Leo. The used car and truck magnet.
Over on Surf Avenue, at 20th street.
- Thank you. - 'Keep punching, fellows.'
[dramatic music]
[Leo laughing]
You have my word as a used car dealer.
This car was formerly owned by an oyster salesman.
Who only drove it in months with an R in them.
I certainly hope so.
I came all the way from Pasadena to buy this car.
- Bye, honey. - Goodbye.
[Leo laughing]
Welcome, welcome.
Hello, friends, looking for a new or one only used car?
Not quite. We came to--
That old job of yours, is starting to look a bit tacky.
Sure you wouldn't be interested in something little more modern?
I can put you in Buick for a $1000
and this old clunker thrown in.
You know of anything in the car world
that Shame might want to get involved?
Shame?
Which Shame is that?
The conniving cowboy of crime.
Oh, that Shame.
Sorry, can't help you.
Let's go, Robin. We're gettin' no place here.
Look, $500 down, now it's my last offer.
- How about it? - Sorry, can't help you.
Well..
Come again.
Goodbye.
Oh, hello there, Laughing Leo.
You come over to give us more good news?
Well, this truck's ready to take on anything.
Of course, it don't make a heap of difference now
that Batman and Robin took the big leap.
[all laughing]
Funny you should you mention that.
We gonna steal them there black Anguses?
- What where black Anguses? - 'Oh, them..'
Prize cows of the Gotham City's rodeo, worth 300,000 bucks each.
And four of them totals upto
1,200,000 all together.
Which we're gonna sell out West
to some unscrupulous cattle ranchers.
Oh, oh, boy, don't that just about fry your eyeballs?
I couldn't be happier. I ain't smiled so much
since I ran out on notch room on my gun handle.
Batman and Robin done in.
Us gonna get a pot full.
Things just couldn't be better.
Alright, Leo, what did you wanna talk to me about?
Well, I, don't quite know how to tell you this, but..
Now, don't stand there chewing your cuds. Spit it out, boy.
I don't like a dallying tongue.
Batman and Robin are still alive.
They came over to my place asking questions.
[dramatic music]
Hmm.
[grunting]
What's happened?
He's angrier than a hyena with laryngitis.
- Shame. - Hush out, Leo.
When he gets this way, maybe you don't say nothing.
But it ain't safe to ask no questions.
[gunshot]
[dramatic music]
[snarling]
And exactly where was the Wayne limousine found, Alfred?
On a shadowy side street, sir, in a Gotham City suburb.
I hope you didn't mind my taking the liberty
of dismantling it for you.
Not at all, Alfred.
You saved us at least 15 minutes.
But I'm afraid, we've struck out.
There's not a finger print to be found anywhere.
Here's the last item, sir.
Mm-hmm.
There's a tiny green speck
and an even tinier red speck on it.
Robin, here, take a look at this.
What do you think it is, Batman?
The red speck appears to be chili
and the green speck is avocado.
Do you know that means?
- That Shame is a sloppy eater? - Partly.
But what restaurant serves
the best chili and avocado dip in Gotham City?
Holy guacamole.
The Adobe Hacienda motel on the inbound state highway.
Let's go.
[dramatic music]
We're too late, Batman. Now we'll never find them.
Don't fret, old chum.
Let's figure this out.
Shame would have to hide until tonight
because he can't travel during day time
in those peculiar looking clothes. Right?
As rain, Batman.
Where would a bunch like that hole up?
You've got me.
I think he went back to Westernland.
But he knows that we know about his hide out.
However, knowing that, he'd think that we'd think
he would not return there, therefore he did and so will we.
- Holy Bat-logic. - Let's go.
[theme music]
[dramatic music]
But, boss, how did you know?
I knew, he'd think, I'd think
he'd think, I'd think, he'd come back here.
Alright.
You got clear aim.
Let 'em have it.
[gunshots]
We've been bushwacked.
Quick, behind the bulletproof Batmobile.
[gunshots]
Ow!
Another hero bites the dust.
I plugged the Boy Wonder.
[gunshots continues]
Alright, let's vamoose.
[grunting]
- Where did he get you, Robin? - In the heel.
We'll have to get that out fast.
Here, bite down on this.
[dramatic music]
Steady, Robin.
There.
Let's go after them, Batman.
We have to get you to the Bat-cave
where you can get proper medical attention.
You'll need blankets, some hot water
and plenty of Bat-cillin.
[dramatic music]
Feels perfect, Batman.
The Bat-cillin lozenges I gave you worked instantly.
Too bad they got away before we could question them.
That's crime business, Robin.
It's all in the game. Yes, Alfred.
I beg your pardon, sir.
But you're scheduled to service Grand Marshal
at the annual Gotham City Rodeo.
Great Scott!
On the horns of our dilemma, I'd overlooked that.
'It should be an interesting affair.'
Apart from the usual steer roping
bulldogging and bareback riding
there's the exhibition of the prized black Angus cattle.
- What cattle? - 'Black Angus, four of them.'
Each worth more than $300,000.
For, uh, breeding purposes.
- That's it, Robin. - What's it, Batman?
It's staring us right in our masks.
They must be what he's after.
Alfred, call the Coliseum commission
and convey Bruce Wayne's regrets that he'll be unable to attend.
But, sir..
Think of your public image.
No one will miss Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson
once they see Batman and Robin.
To the Batmobile.
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chattering]
Now, nobody, flick an eyelash.
This here is a hold up.
I don't want them pickin' drippings.
I got bigger fish to fry.
- Rip. - Yeah?
Get that freight elevator ready.
- Okay, boss. - Messy!
- Yeah, boss. - Get them cattle rounded up.
Right, boss.
Alright, get 'em out of there.
You heard me. Back up.
Come on, move.
Okie Annie, keep your gun aimed on these folks.
And this time, aim to kill. Get it?
- Got it. - Good.
[dramatic music]
The rodeo's on the main floor, but the bulls
are being shown on the upper level.
What happens if we've guessed wrong, Batman?
What happens if they aren't what Shame's after?
Think positive, Robin.
But you do have a point.
Stand clear.
[dramatic music]
These short Bat-climbs are harder than the longer ones.
It takes a while to unlimber your muscles, Robin.
It's all good training.
Colonel, what are you doing here in Gotham City?
I am looking for an underground agent.
One of ours or one of yours?
And why the exposition hall at the Coliseum?
Who knows? You never know where you might find one.
Be careful not get picked up.
Chief O'Hara can be very tough with the aliens incognito.
Incognito?
With my monocle?
Well, say hello to Colonel Hogan for us.
It's a wonder he hasn't tried to borrow your Bat-rope
to pull another one of his escapes.
[instrumental music]
Alright. You folks keep your feet planted on the ground
and nobody will end their toes curled up. Get it?
Good.
- What happened? - Ah, ah!
Who did it? Which way did they head?
[incoherent mumbling]
What's he saying, Batman?
Poor devil. He's in a state of shock! Shame must've just left.
- Come on, Robin. - Where to?
Through the window, from whence we came.
We must capture Shame.
What's wrong, Batman?
They've already attained a substantial lead over us, Robin.
Plus, with the speed of that truck
we'll never catch them now.
And they have one great advantage over us.
Which is?
They know where they're going.
And they've already stolen
a million two hundred thousand dollars on the hoof.
Unless we can employ some Bat-logic.
- And figure out their scheme. - Ah, let's see.
- Steers have to be fed. Right? - Right.
It's not easy to hide four such enormous well known animals.
- Right? - Right.
They must've gone to the Gotham City's stock yard. Right?
- Wrong! - Wrong. Wrong?
If you wanted a hide a person, would you hide him in a crowd?
- Right. - Right?
It's easy to spot a person in a crowd.
It's not so easy to spot him in some isolated spot
where you wouldn't have looked.
- Ergo? - Ergo..
Shame has probably taken those cows to the corral.
Sound thinking, Robin.
Call Commissioner Gordon on the Bat-telephone
and tell him to meet us there.
[instrumental music]
Come back, Shame.
Shame, come back.
Shame!
Meanwhile, at the Gotham City Stock yards
Shame and his evil cohorts are feeding the Black Angus cattle
at the K-O Corral.
Well, I guess, we're done dealing.
Laughing Leo, as soon as we get these critters fed and watered
we'll high tail it out of here.
Every arch criminal in the east
has been trying to outwit Batman for years.
But it took a sun-tanned, grim Westener to do the trick.
You said it snoople, Leo.
Hey, boss, do you hear what I hear?
- Ah? - You hear anything?
You hear anything?
- What do you hear? - The Batmobile.
Well, that's what I hear, now take cover.
And this time, when you aim, aim to please.
[theme music]
There it is, Batman.
The K-O Corral.
- Let's go. - Steady, old chum.
This could be a trap.
What do you think, Robin?
It's awfully quite.
Too quite, for my money.
[intense music]
Don't make a move, Batman.
Or I'll fill you full of lead.
You can't frighten us with a vague threat, Shame.
For a smart hombre
you ain't got much savvy.
This town ain't big enough for the both of us.
Draw!
You and every other criminal know
that I don't carry firearms, Shame.
Then reach for your utility belt, so as I can do you in.
Even the rottenest cowboy
wouldn't gun down two unarmed men.
It's against the code of the old West.
Them rules don't count east of the Mississippi.
If you're gonna murder us
you'll have to do without our aid.
You may get two other notches in your gun.
It won't help your reputation one bit.
(Shame) That's enough, Batman.
One more move and you'll look like
a big blue lump of Swiss cheese.
I got you covered, six ways to Sunday.
Look around.
At the moment of truth, do exactly as I do.
Alright, fellows and gal.
Let 'em have it.
[gunshots]
(Robin) 'What are we doing, when the smoke clears?'
(Batman) 'Shh, shh, I'm concentrating.'
'Sorry, this is a heck of a time to concentrate.'
(Batman) 'Let's see, nine guns with six shots each, how many shots?'
- '54.' - 'I counted 53.'
[gun shot]
They're outta bullets.
Now, we'll see if you guys are as brave
without guns for protection.
Come on, Robin.
[instrumental music]
Get 'em, Shame!
[groaning]
Ah!
Yippee!
Yahoo!
Ride on, cowboy!
[indistinct chattering]
You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?
- You are not wearing glasses. - Oh, I'm not?
Laugh that off, Leo.
Pardon me, ma'am.
[groaning]
That's no way to prime a pump, Shame.
Yeah! I'll pint it. You won a fair and square fight, Batman.
It was fair because you couldn't use your weapons.
Great care must be taken in the use of firearms.
They can be quite dangerous if used improperly.
You said a mouthful.
(Batman) 'Shame, you just fired your last shot in Gotham City.'
Alright, you thievin' spalpeens.
Get going. Come on, into the wagon.
Alright now, come on. Hurry up.
Let's go, you too, come on.
Well, Batman, you've done it again. May I shake your glove?
- Of course, commissioner. - Ha ha, yours, too, Boy Wonder.
I must admit, we had a few tense moments with Shame.
On the other, I knew you'd bring him to justice.
- Oh? - Well, don't you always?
I'd think of you too as my own personal
blessings in disguise.
In a few minutes, the authorities will transport
you all to the calaboose.
Well, I guess this is goodbye for 99 years to life.
The law is the law.
This little tyke insisted on coming in.
- Andy. - What are you doing here?
I've been yelling all over Gotham for Shame to come back.
When I heard that he was in here, I just reported myself
as a lost little boy.
Why did you do that?
Because this studio man stole my radio.
If mom ever found out about it, she'd whale the tar out of me.
Give me back my radio, Shame, or you'll be in big trouble
with my mother.
Here.
Send me a bill for the batteries.
Batman will know my address.
Well, what you gonna do now, Andy?
You're not really a lost little boy.
Worked for a while, Batman.
But you made me find myself.
I'm going straight to the department store
and trade in this western outfit for a Batman costume.
'I don't wanna be a cowboy anymore.'
I wanna be hero like you, Caped Crime Fighter.
Being a hero
or a crime fighter is not what counts the most.
It's growing up to be a good citizen.
And if that's what you meant
it's the highest possible compliment you can pay me.
Good grief.
Next week, Burgess Meredith with a new Penguin ploy!
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman