¶ Batman
You have already seen a beauty queen kidnapped.
And an indoor blizzard!
Only one man could keep a cool, that cool.
While the Dynamic Duo dynamite a door.
The Iceman cometh with a delivery of what?
Green ice bribe money.
Anyway that's what the papers seem to feel.
But Bruce Wayne still have the social responsibilities
of any average millionaire.
Though there was a surprise guest at his garden reception.
Several surprising guests in fact.
And a freezing finale to the affair.
So back to the capes and cowls.
And a stop at The Frosty Freezy's factory.
Where Robin tangled with a freeze gun.
And the Dynamic Duo found themselves with a choice.
A very frosty flavors!
Fooled, framed and frozen.
Frosty freezies instead of crime fighters.
What now? What next?
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman
[intense music]
We've been in some pretty tight fixes, Batman.
But I don't see how we're gonna get out of this one?
Yes, this is quite a predicament, old chum
but remember, in the end, right always triumphs.
If it does, I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life in a Turkish bath.
A Turkish bath!
You've hit it, Robin.
The steam in the pipes of most Turkish baths
is super heated moisture.
Remove the heat and the moisture turns to frost.
You feel anything around your feet?
Yeah, chilblains.
No, no, something mechanical.
Some kind of valve or a blower.
Something that might inject the flavoring or the coloring..
...or the freezing components.
I don't know, Batman.
I think there's a little spigot or something.
In mine too.
It might be the heat exhaust valve
If we can just get our feet to do the work
for fingers and recycle the exhaust and the heating unit
of the containers, we might reverse the process
of refrigeration and the heat transfer will melt our way out.
[sneezing]
Too bad, too bad.
Perhaps, I shouldn't have disposed the Batman and Robin.
At least not so soon.
Then I could've toyed with them a little longer.
And destroy their saintly image slower but more effective.
I have an idea.
Chill, go and get me the instant camera.
After I'm through with this little business
I'm going to execute my plan
for the greatest ice-crime in history
that'll destroy all of Gotham City in a few minutes.
And there'll be no Batman and Robin to stop me.
And then, my darling Miss Iceland
your temperature will be down to my temperature
and you will become Mrs. Freeze.
Never!
Not if I live to be a hundred...below zero.
I'll never marry you.
Stubborn but beautiful.
This plan is going to be something really wild, boys.
Wild!
That wild plan better include Batman and Robin
for even now a well-thought-out Dynamic Duo
raced to the Bat-cave to plot their next move.
[tire screeching]
(Batman) 'An obvious hoax.'
'Doctoring of the picture by super imposing'
'his watch on my wrist.'
Holy distortion!
Most unsporting of Mr. Freeze, I must say.
Yeah, it sure makes you look bad, Batman.
Although the newspaper clearly indicated
that this photograph came from an anonymous source
and that quite possibly it might be a fake.
The great majority of people will only look at the photograph
and not read the text.
An unfortunate failing of the message, sir.
What do we do now?
The only thing we can do, Robin..
...hang up our capes and cowls.
Oh, No, sir. Not that.
I'm afraid so, Alfred.
With all this adverse publicity, it might be , well,
to let the people think what they will
that we've taken a run-out powder.
That way, maybe we can low Mr. Freeze into a false sense
of security, make him overplay his hand.
After all, I'm sure he believes that
we're frosty freezies by now.
You're most ingenious in preventing that, sir.
Thank you, Alfred. But it'll take more ingenuity
to get us back in the good graces
of the good people of Gotham City.
Aunt Harriet asked us to go into the city on an errand
as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, remember?
Hmm.
[hissing]
Nellie, gentlemen, please, please, one at a time.
Are you going to prefer bribery charges against them?
Or is the Dynamic Duo exempt from the law?
Nellie, I resent that innuendo nobody is exempt from the law
and Batman would be the first to say so, if he were here.
But he isn't, commissioner.
Nor has he shown his mask face around Gotham City
since that grand stand play at Wayne Manor.
Now, I'm sorry, I simply don't have anymore time. Uh, chief..
No, you don't have time. At least not wrist watch time.
[crowd laughing]
Maybe you better ask Batman the time of the day.
Isn't he the one wearing your watch?
Alright, Nellie, and the rest of you
back to your typewriters
to peck out more of your slanted stories.
Mother Machree! But it's a sad state of affairs in Gotham City
when journalism stood so low!
Too bad, the truth really hit a nerve root, hasn't it?
Out!
What do you think, commissioner?
I honestly don't know what to think, Chief O'Hara
but I do fear for Batman's heroic image.
I have a feeling the terrible tide of adverse public opinion
may soon engulf our Caped Crusader.
Boo, Batman!
[mellow music]
Gosh, Bruce. Did you hear that?
Nothing has ever cut me so deeply to the quick.
No blow ever struck by any arch-villain
has ever hurt me so acutely..
...as that little boy's boo.
One billion dollars!
One billion dollars, they'll pay me and nobody can stop it.
Especially not Batman and Robin, eh.
By the way, why don't the US papers mention
anything about their sad end at The Frosty Freezy's factory?
Maybe nobody's found them yet.
Of course, Chill.
And by the time they find them
they'll make freezes for Goliath.
(Miss Iceland) 'You can't get away with it.'
There's still the law.
Good will triumph.
Shh. Don't get excited, darling Miss Iceland.
I don't want your temperature to rise even a few degrees.
One billion dollars! The citizens of Gotham City
will pay me or I'll bury all of them
under one huge cake of ice
exactly like a million years ago.
Wild!
(Commissioner Gordon) 'Wild! Utterly wild!'
Preposterous!
Utterly and fantastically preposterous!
Mr. Freeze has finally gone too far
demanding one billion dollars
by threatening to completely cover Gotham City with ice.
In August?
August or December, I wouldn't take Mr. Freeze's threat
too lightly, commissioner.
With all due respect, Mr. Wayne
you don't think that Mr. Freeze could really do such a thing?
I mean, he would do it if he could
but I don't think he can.
Can he?
Don't underestimate his power, Chief O'Hara.
Yes, look what he did the other night at the party
when he instantly froze us in the pool.
But could he freeze a whole metropolis
the size of a Gotham City?
May I see his blackmail note, commissioner?
Yeah, surely.
"One billion dollars by high noon tomorrow or.."
Etcetera, etcetera.
"And if you do not believe me
"try turning on your water faucets
at two o'clock this afternoon."
Two o'clock?
Two o'clock!
Beg your pardon, Chief O'Hara.
The switchboards lit up like a Christmas tree.
Everybody is complaining.
About what, sergeant?
The water, sir.
Nobody can get any water through the faucet.
Did you check with the water department?
Yes, sir. But if you don't mind me saying so
I think they must be nipping a bit over there
at the waterworks. Do you know what they said?
Even though it is the hottest day of the year and they said
the water reservoir in Gotham City is frozen solid.
Which it never has been before
even on the coldest day of the year.
And then the newsman learned
'of the diabolical scheme of Mr. Freeze'
'is to completely cover Gotham city with ice'
'unless one billion dollars is paid to him'
'before high noon tomorrow.'
Since the announcement, less than two hours ago
panic has hit the streets.
Motorists have jammed the highways
leading out of Gotham City.
Traffic through the Gotham City tunnel
is blocked for three miles.
'This afternoon, everything is complete chaos.'
'Terror reigns.'
With the one billion dollars I'm going to go to Switzerland
and I'll take you, darling Miss Iceland with me
as my bride.
I wouldn't marry you for ten billion dollars.
You wouldn't?
No wonder you haven't changed your mind.
This thing is not working as well as it should.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
In the morning, I'll freeze your beautiful body solid.
Oh!
You diabolical beast!
Wild!
Panic is rampant. Throughout the long and terrible night
reports have come in of hysterical children everywhere.
Awakening and screaming
"Mama, mama, mama, don't let the ice cover me, please."
We've been up all night listening to this.
Aunt Harriet, surely, you and Alfred needs some sleep.
Of course, Bruce. We all do.
I think Dick and I will take a little walk
get some of the frozen cobwebs out of our brain.
- Good idea, Bruce. - Let's go, Dick.
Poor Bruce.
That horrible Mr. Freeze's threats have upset him greatly.
Heaven knows what will happen today.
Why don't you go up to your room, Madam?
Thank you, Alfred.
(man on TV) 'Another blazing day in Gotham City'
with our citizens knowing, only too well, that by noon
they may be freezing to death in sub-zero temperatures.
Unless of course, city officials can raise..
Why turn them off?
I know the end of that sentence by heart.
"One billion dollars!"
But it's impossible.
Even if we were to mortgage every public building
every city-owned utility, we couldn't get a loan
for that amount of money in such a short space of time.
Do you suppose there's a possibility
Mr. Freeze could be bluffing?
Well, what would he hope to gain by burying
Gotham City under all that ice?
Bluffing? Never!
As for what he could gain..
Revenge!
Revenge for being forced to live away from society.
Alone in his own torturous world of sub-zero temperature.
What can we do, commissioner?
Do?
I...honestly don't know, Mayor Linseed.
If only..
Go ahead, commissioner. Call Batman and Robin.
If Gotham City ever needed them, she needs them now.
I never thought it could happen.
But like so many of us, I..
I'm afraid I've..
...lost faith.
[intense music]
Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed.
[indistinct]
[tires screeching]
[intense music]
Quite a change of heart, Batman.
Tarnished reputations are unfortunate, Robin.
We can live with those.
However, a threat to all of Gotham City is something else.
I'm sure he's in that Cold Storage Plant.
He and his stooges made a quick appearance
at The Frosty Freezy's factory around the corner.
- Then we go? - We go.
[intense music]
This should put a crank in his channel.
What's the matter?
First, the commentator said the stock market went kaput
and now the TV set went kaput.
Must be the antenna went out of link.
Frosty, go and fix it.
How else would I know whether I get the billion dollars
I've to destroy Gotham City.
That should straighten your antennae.
Mr. Freeze, I believe.
Batman, but..
But you were supposed to be a famous frosty freezie by now.
Exactly what we wanted you to believe. Robin.
Wait, look there.
Batman.
Why, you beast. You sinful beast!
You're inhuman. An absolute demon.
Inhuman? Demon? Wild!
Why don't you join me in my frozen frigid world?
Perhaps you would like to be our best iceman at the wedding.
You and Robin. Boys!
[intense music]
[laughing]
Wild! Simply wild!
Holy chicken coop!
And a nice, cold chicken coop, Boy Wonder.
I've just one telephone call to make
and then I'll finish you off forever.
It was a good idea of yours to wear our Bat-thermal underwear.
I think your idea is the one that will save us, Robin.
[phone ringing]
Commissioner Gordon speaking.
(Mr. Freeze) 'This is Mr. Freeze speaking.'
It's he.
'Are you listening?'
Yes, we're listening. What's your proposition?
You know my proposition, one billion dollars by noon
or you freeze to death, simple.
Mr. Freeze, hear me out.
We can't raise one billion dollars in such a short time.
Do you understand? We can't get that much money by noon.
You've exactly 26 minutes, that's all.
Mr. Freeze, give us more time. We need more time.
Time for what?
To wait for Batman perhaps
If you're waiting for that, then I'll make you forget it.
They're my prisoners, here in my hideout.
And soon they'll be iceman, the real iceman.
'One billion dollars in 26 minutes.'
[intense music]
Gentlemen, I'm afraid all is lost.
Well, gentlemen, the expression is I believe
time for the kill, curtains for the Caped Crusaders.
[hissing]
What happened? You're supposed to be frozen.
We took the precaution
of processing our crime-fighting costumes with a special
Bat-anti-freeze-activating solution.
And rubbed some on the rest of our bodies.
And so it's curtains for you, Mr. Freeze.
'not for us.'
Not as long as you're in that cage.
We brought along another small surprise
we anticipated from here.
And came prepared.
So you've no chance of outwitting us.
And even less of glaciating Gotham City.
Is that so?
[explosion]
[intense music]
[groaning]
[clattering]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
Ah!
That should chill their goose for a while.
Now, get that young lady out of her ice coffin.
How?
By a simple method
which has become somewhat old-fashioned.
An ice pick.
Oh, Batman, what can I ever do to thank you?
Thank the judges of the
Miss Galaxy Beauty Contest, Miss Iceland.
They agreed to postpone the final event
until you were found.
How wonderful!
(Mr. Freeze) 'I'll die.'
Mr. Freeze.
Go on yourself.
My.. My..
My freeze collar.
I'm dying.
- Help me, Robin. - I'm dying.
My freeze collar.
I'm dying. I'm dying.
[groaning]
This should keep you alive, Mr. Freeze
until the police find your iced neck piece.
Well, that's right, Warden Crane.
You see, Mr. Freeze is not a normal average prisoner.
He must at all times wear his jet freeze collar
in order to stay alive.
Anything you can do to lower the temperature
of his cell would be a help.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
Your consideration is admirable, Batman.
But Mr. Freeze hardly deserves it.
Not that icy-hearted enemy of the people.
A brother's sufferings claim a brother's pity, gentlemen.
Holy epigrams!
No, Robin.
Truisms, no man is really all bad.
Now, gentlemen, I suggest we take a break.
We have tickets for tonight's finals
in the Gotham City Miss Galaxy contest.
I know Robin's a little young for this sort of thing--
I'm not gonna be young all my life, Batman, and besides
beauty contests are practically an American institution.
You see, gentleman, such pure logic is indisputable.
Hello there, young man.
I knew you were up here, Batman.
I saw the Batmobile downstairs.
Let's take an elevator ride.
Gee, Batman. You're the greatest.
False pride is indeed a dangerous thing, Chief O'Hara.
False pride? We, we were talking about beauty contest.
I'm talking about myself.
How hard it is to admit when I'm wrong.
But I was wrong, so wrong.
When I ever even imagined, I was losing my faith..
...In Batman.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman