1
00:00:01,399 --> 00:00:04,534
¶ Batman
2
00:00:08,272 --> 00:00:10,406
(male narrator)
We have already seen..
3
00:00:10,408 --> 00:00:13,475
...the great maestro
of the keyboard
4
00:00:13,477 --> 00:00:15,443
Chandell.
5
00:00:16,678 --> 00:00:20,247
Attacked by phantoms
at Wayne Manor!
6
00:00:21,515 --> 00:00:23,182
Catastrophe!
7
00:00:23,184 --> 00:00:25,083
Batman on vacation.
8
00:00:25,085 --> 00:00:27,585
Out of touch!
9
00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:31,054
Chandell demand protection.
10
00:00:31,688 --> 00:00:32,754
Tricky Chandell.
11
00:00:32,756 --> 00:00:36,758
Who was also
the criminal Fingers.
12
00:00:37,593 --> 00:00:40,494
Blackmailed into
a life of crime
13
00:00:40,496 --> 00:00:43,396
by twin brother Harry.
14
00:00:44,231 --> 00:00:47,533
Police precautions
at a concert..
15
00:00:48,401 --> 00:00:49,167
..in vain.
16
00:00:49,169 --> 00:00:53,237
Chandell struck by
a remote piano control.
17
00:00:53,371 --> 00:00:56,039
But wait, way off
in the wilderness
18
00:00:56,041 --> 00:01:00,276
Bruce Wayne hears
a false note!
19
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:03,745
A call to Dick Grayson.
20
00:01:04,079 --> 00:01:06,780
Chandell in hot pursuit!
21
00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:08,747
Why?
22
00:01:08,749 --> 00:01:12,117
What could he be up to?
23
00:01:12,618 --> 00:01:15,319
A false attack!
24
00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:19,155
A devilish clue!
25
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:22,391
Into a trap!
26
00:01:22,725 --> 00:01:26,260
The Dynamic Duo,
about to be perforated
27
00:01:26,262 --> 00:01:29,363
into human piano rolls.
28
00:01:30,331 --> 00:01:32,298
Disaster!
29
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:33,499
Which way out?
30
00:01:33,501 --> 00:01:37,169
The most dreadful music
is yet to come..
31
00:01:37,171 --> 00:01:40,739
...in just one minute!
32
00:01:42,441 --> 00:01:45,075
[theme music]
33
00:01:53,184 --> 00:01:55,652
¶ Batman
34
00:01:56,186 --> 00:01:58,654
¶ Batman
35
00:01:59,389 --> 00:02:01,857
¶ Batman
36
00:02:02,558 --> 00:02:04,358
¶ Batman
37
00:02:04,492 --> 00:02:08,728
¶ Batman Batman
38
00:02:08,730 --> 00:02:11,397
¶ Batman
39
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:15,333
¶ Batman Batman
40
00:02:15,335 --> 00:02:17,234
¶ Batman
41
00:02:17,368 --> 00:02:20,636
¶ Na na na na na na na
42
00:02:20,638 --> 00:02:23,372
¶ Batman
43
00:02:33,583 --> 00:02:37,218
[piano music]
44
00:02:53,401 --> 00:02:55,769
Holy metronome!
What a fate.
45
00:02:55,771 --> 00:02:58,138
Punched in a player
piano rolls.
46
00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:00,173
True, Robin,
scarcely an end
47
00:03:00,175 --> 00:03:00,806
I'd ever anticipate.
48
00:03:00,808 --> 00:03:05,410
Life, a cup full of surprises
to the last drop.
49
00:03:05,412 --> 00:03:06,511
See any way out, Batman?
50
00:03:06,513 --> 00:03:09,814
Frankly, from this
perspective, no.
51
00:03:09,816 --> 00:03:11,749
- Wait a minute.
- A minute's too long.
52
00:03:11,751 --> 00:03:13,817
My toes are almost
in the puncher.
53
00:03:13,819 --> 00:03:18,488
Robin, with every once
of breath that's left in you
54
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,556
sing along with me.
55
00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:21,490
Sing what?
56
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,691
Don't ask questions, Robin.
57
00:03:22,693 --> 00:03:25,527
Sing each note precisely
as I do.
58
00:03:25,529 --> 00:03:28,463
When I sing, you sing.
Ready, Robin?
59
00:03:28,465 --> 00:03:29,597
Sing.
60
00:03:29,599 --> 00:03:32,499
[both scatting]
61
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,708
Will that terrible song
never stop?
62
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:47,279
Death squeals
of a brace of bats.
63
00:03:56,489 --> 00:03:58,857
Nice singing, Robin.
64
00:03:58,859 --> 00:04:00,625
It saved our lives.
65
00:04:00,627 --> 00:04:02,360
Holy Caruso, how?
66
00:04:02,362 --> 00:04:03,928
Observe how this
machine works.
67
00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:07,731
Music from the master piano
is picked up by this microphone
68
00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,966
and transported to the
perforating cylinders
69
00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:12,635
which reproduce
the chords perfectly.
70
00:04:12,637 --> 00:04:14,203
We outshouted the piano.
Don't you see?
71
00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:17,506
Sure, but how come we didn't
get punched full of holes?
72
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:19,441
Because of the notes
I selected.
73
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:21,509
They were calculated
to make the punches fall
74
00:04:21,511 --> 00:04:24,979
precisely around
the outlines of our body.
75
00:04:24,981 --> 00:04:27,648
I visualized the chords
in my mind.
76
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:29,349
Holy perfect pitch!
77
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:30,350
Yes, it's useful sometimes.
78
00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:33,252
However, no time
for self congratulation.
79
00:04:33,254 --> 00:04:35,654
Let's burst in
and bag those birds.
80
00:04:35,656 --> 00:04:36,655
Roger!
81
00:04:36,657 --> 00:04:39,958
Poor bats,
they squeak no more.
82
00:04:42,895 --> 00:04:45,529
Truly...spoken!
83
00:04:45,531 --> 00:04:48,765
You vile criminal twin!
84
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:51,901
Girls, run for your lives.
85
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:59,541
I'll round up those
crooked cookies.
86
00:04:59,543 --> 00:05:01,476
No, Robin, wait.
87
00:05:03,645 --> 00:05:04,411
Batman to police.
88
00:05:04,413 --> 00:05:07,814
There's a knocked out criminal
at 20-B Front street.
89
00:05:07,816 --> 00:05:11,617
Zip code 9-9-9-9-9-7-9.
90
00:05:11,619 --> 00:05:13,485
Come! Pick him up.
Batman, out.
91
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:17,455
Holy fugitives. You mean
we're gonna let those girls go?
92
00:05:17,457 --> 00:05:18,923
Yes, Robin..
93
00:05:18,925 --> 00:05:21,825
...as part of a plan.
94
00:05:22,026 --> 00:05:22,792
The infamy of it.
95
00:05:22,794 --> 00:05:25,661
Attacking your own brother,
the great artist Chandell
96
00:05:25,663 --> 00:05:26,528
with a root beer bottle.
97
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:28,963
- What's behind all this?
- I don't know.
98
00:05:28,965 --> 00:05:31,398
Alright, canary,
start talking.
99
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:33,833
It's somebody called
"Fingers".
100
00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:34,967
- Fingers?
- Yeah.
101
00:05:34,969 --> 00:05:35,834
He's behind it all.
102
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,435
He's got a plot
to get his mitts
103
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,037
on the entire fortune
of millionaire Bruce Wayne.
104
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:43,740
Okay, pal.
Button up.
105
00:05:43,742 --> 00:05:45,875
My name is Alfred Slye, sir.
106
00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:47,476
I'm a noted criminal attorney.
107
00:05:47,478 --> 00:05:49,911
Very incautious of you
to begin this interrogation
108
00:05:49,913 --> 00:05:52,546
without my presence,
wasn't it?
109
00:05:52,548 --> 00:05:54,047
Chief.
110
00:05:55,282 --> 00:05:56,382
A most unwelcome arrival.
111
00:05:56,384 --> 00:05:58,016
Just when the funk
was talking.
112
00:05:58,018 --> 00:05:59,851
Want me to toss
the mouthpiece out?
113
00:05:59,853 --> 00:06:01,052
Heaven forbid,
Chief O'Hara.
114
00:06:01,054 --> 00:06:03,954
In today's climate, that'd
land us behind bars.
115
00:06:03,956 --> 00:06:04,821
Then what will we do?
116
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:10,359
Patience and subtlety, the
honest policeman's only aides.
117
00:06:10,361 --> 00:06:12,661
Turn up the lights a notch.
118
00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:16,331
No law against making
these villains sweat.
119
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:20,068
Excuse us, it was
a trifle dark in here.
120
00:06:21,937 --> 00:06:24,305
Here you are, pal.
121
00:06:27,475 --> 00:06:29,075
Muchas gracias, amigo.
122
00:06:29,077 --> 00:06:31,310
- That's too much!
- Indeed!
123
00:06:31,312 --> 00:06:35,447
Talk about crude, naked
police brutality. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
124
00:06:35,449 --> 00:06:37,782
Are you gonna charge
my client or aren't you?
125
00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:39,650
I hereby charge him
with the felonious
126
00:06:39,652 --> 00:06:41,518
attempt to perforate
the Dynamic Duo
127
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,653
into player piano music rolls.
128
00:06:43,655 --> 00:06:46,555
Very amusing.
Where are your witnesses?
129
00:06:46,557 --> 00:06:48,990
- Witnesses?
- I owe a countercharge, sir!
130
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,426
I accuse Batman and Robin
of malicious mischief.
131
00:06:52,428 --> 00:06:55,796
To which, the damage of a
licensed perforating machine
132
00:06:55,798 --> 00:06:58,865
by introducing foreign
objects into same.
133
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,033
Said objects being themselves.
134
00:07:01,035 --> 00:07:03,668
- Saints alive.
- The world's gone mad.
135
00:07:03,670 --> 00:07:06,070
The whole planet, lunatic!
136
00:07:06,072 --> 00:07:07,104
Come along, Harry.
137
00:07:07,106 --> 00:07:11,741
You don't have to listen
to this raving.
138
00:07:15,412 --> 00:07:18,580
A new super criminal
with a plan for getting
139
00:07:18,582 --> 00:07:20,748
the entire Wayne fortune..
140
00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:22,683
To put it pithily..
141
00:07:22,685 --> 00:07:26,720
...this Fingers fits
like a glove.
142
00:07:26,722 --> 00:07:27,554
Fits what, Batman?
143
00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:31,424
The musical theme that's run
through this entire affair.
144
00:07:31,426 --> 00:07:33,058
Holy greed,
how could a crook hope
145
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,026
to get hold
of the Wayne fortune?
146
00:07:35,028 --> 00:07:37,528
A good question, Robin.
Pursue it.
147
00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:38,395
Impossible, Batman.
148
00:07:38,397 --> 00:07:42,098
Your assets are tied up
by a 100 iron clad trusts.
149
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:43,599
Precisely.
150
00:07:43,601 --> 00:07:46,568
At the risk of alarming you
151
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:48,770
I can see only one.
152
00:07:48,772 --> 00:07:52,907
What would happen
to Bruce Wayne's fortune..
153
00:07:53,575 --> 00:07:56,743
...if he suffered
a fatal accident?
154
00:07:56,745 --> 00:08:01,948
Gosh, I guess I, Dick Grayson,
would inherit it.
155
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:02,715
Right again.
156
00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:06,585
And if Dick's life were snuffed
out in that same accident?
157
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,588
(Robin)
'It would all go
to Aunt Harriet.'
158
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,121
Excuse me, sir.
159
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,591
Will be wishing my services
for the next few hours?
160
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,092
Not that I know about,
Alfred. Why?
161
00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:19,029
Mrs. Cooper has requested me
to drive her into the city, sir.
162
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:21,531
It appears she has
another, uh..
163
00:08:21,533 --> 00:08:25,868
...secret rendezvous
with the maestro, Chandell.
164
00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:27,570
In his dressing room, sir.
165
00:08:27,572 --> 00:08:32,575
Atop the Gotham city
town hall.
166
00:08:32,577 --> 00:08:33,709
Good day, sir.
167
00:08:33,711 --> 00:08:34,609
Holy Bluebeard!
168
00:08:34,611 --> 00:08:37,912
You mean Fingers and Chandell
are the same guy?
169
00:08:37,914 --> 00:08:41,582
I fear it's
a dreadful probability.
170
00:08:41,716 --> 00:08:44,851
He's gonna pump us off
in our guise of Bruce and Dick.
171
00:08:44,853 --> 00:08:47,687
Then vamp Aunt Harriet
and marry the Wayne fortune.
172
00:08:47,689 --> 00:08:50,289
A clever and diabolical scheme.
173
00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:55,227
This Chandell is a deucedly
attractive fellow.
174
00:08:55,229 --> 00:08:57,062
He could pull it off.
175
00:08:57,064 --> 00:08:57,829
Gosh, Batman.
176
00:08:57,831 --> 00:09:01,732
How could a man like Chandell,
the world's greatest pianist
177
00:09:01,734 --> 00:09:04,835
take up a life of
a murderous crime?
178
00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:08,705
I think I've guessed
that, too, Robin.
179
00:09:10,574 --> 00:09:11,106
Close your eyes.
180
00:09:11,108 --> 00:09:17,712
Summon up every ounce of your
super keen musical memory.
181
00:09:17,714 --> 00:09:19,246
Okay, Batman.
182
00:09:19,248 --> 00:09:21,047
My eyes are shut.
183
00:09:21,049 --> 00:09:21,814
I'm summoning.
184
00:09:21,816 --> 00:09:25,551
Remember that concert Chandell
gave at the White House
185
00:09:25,553 --> 00:09:26,818
some time ago?
186
00:09:26,820 --> 00:09:29,854
We listened to it together,
you recall?
187
00:09:29,856 --> 00:09:33,691
Sure, that was the concert
which made him famous.
188
00:09:33,693 --> 00:09:35,726
I remember every note.
189
00:09:35,728 --> 00:09:36,293
Excellent.
190
00:09:36,295 --> 00:09:39,796
Concentrate
on the Andante passage
191
00:09:39,798 --> 00:09:41,063
at his first selection.
192
00:09:41,065 --> 00:09:46,001
About the 12th bar...
from the top..
193
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:49,704
...of page 17 of the score.
194
00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:52,807
I'm with you. Page 17.
195
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:53,974
Listen to it.
196
00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:59,145
Savor the maestro's
interpretation.
197
00:09:59,147 --> 00:10:00,779
[sighs]
198
00:10:00,781 --> 00:10:02,080
Beautiful.
199
00:10:02,082 --> 00:10:04,182
Such feeling.
200
00:10:04,184 --> 00:10:06,050
And I recall a..
201
00:10:07,052 --> 00:10:08,152
Holy Paderewski!
202
00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:10,220
Good boy, Robin.
You've caught it.
203
00:10:10,222 --> 00:10:14,357
That was exactly the same
as the Paderewski version.
204
00:10:14,359 --> 00:10:15,624
So exactly..
205
00:10:15,626 --> 00:10:18,360
...that I can draw
only one conclusion.
206
00:10:18,362 --> 00:10:20,962
He used a player piano
at that concert.
207
00:10:20,964 --> 00:10:25,666
With the music roll
cut by Paderewski himself!
208
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:26,333
Precisely.
209
00:10:26,335 --> 00:10:31,671
A roll undoubtedly secured
from twin brother Harry's
210
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:34,306
music roll factory.
211
00:10:34,308 --> 00:10:36,308
To the Batmobile!
212
00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:42,646
¶ Come let us stroll
down lover's lane ¶
213
00:10:42,648 --> 00:10:48,752
¶ And let me kiss you
once again ¶
214
00:10:48,754 --> 00:10:51,221
¶ Soon we must say
215
00:10:51,223 --> 00:10:54,724
¶ Auf wiedersehen ¶
216
00:10:54,726 --> 00:10:59,795
¶ Auf wiedersehen
my dear ¶
217
00:11:01,264 --> 00:11:06,368
¶ I know my heart
won't beat again ¶
218
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:11,706
¶ Until the day
we meet again ¶
219
00:11:12,374 --> 00:11:18,645
¶ Sweetheart, goodbye
Auf wiedersehen ¶
220
00:11:18,647 --> 00:11:24,951
¶ Auf wiedersehen
my dear ¶
221
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,025
The softness
of these hands..
222
00:11:33,027 --> 00:11:37,696
I'm made mindful
of a night moth's wings.
223
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:41,232
Oh, you're simply
a poet, maestro.
224
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:46,370
Like a night moth's wings
they're dusted.
225
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:48,138
Dusted with the stuff
226
00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:51,007
that dreams are made of.
227
00:11:51,009 --> 00:11:54,143
Oh, Chandell.
228
00:12:03,286 --> 00:12:04,386
That masher,
I'll fix him.
229
00:12:04,388 --> 00:12:07,956
Hold it, old chum, we mustn't
give ourselves away.
230
00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:10,959
Self control is sure
tough sometimes, Batman.
231
00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:12,026
All virtues are, old chum.
232
00:12:12,028 --> 00:12:15,262
Indeed, that's why
they're virtues.
233
00:12:15,264 --> 00:12:17,163
However, all philosophy aside..
234
00:12:17,165 --> 00:12:21,734
...it looks like Chandell has
Aunt Harriet quite thoroughly
235
00:12:21,736 --> 00:12:26,238
in his fingers...
so to speak.
236
00:12:26,372 --> 00:12:30,808
Which isn't
a bad thing, Robin.
237
00:12:31,075 --> 00:12:36,112
It sets the stage
for our next startling move.
238
00:12:36,114 --> 00:12:37,046
What, Batman?
239
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:37,913
Back to Wayne Manor.
240
00:12:37,915 --> 00:12:41,316
To the photographic dark room
we built in the hall closet.
241
00:12:41,318 --> 00:12:45,486
(Batman)
'I have a little plan
of my own.'
242
00:12:48,122 --> 00:12:50,089
[explosion]
243
00:12:53,726 --> 00:12:58,396
Great heavens!
Mr. Bruce! Master Dick!
244
00:13:03,769 --> 00:13:04,268
Fantastic.
245
00:13:04,270 --> 00:13:07,204
I couldn't have arranged it
any better myself.
246
00:13:07,206 --> 00:13:10,440
Are you going to marry her,
Chandell darling?
247
00:13:10,442 --> 00:13:11,841
Of course, I'll marry her.
248
00:13:11,843 --> 00:13:16,779
Then I'll sneak 5 million out
of our joint checking account
249
00:13:16,781 --> 00:13:20,149
and pay off my
blackmailing brother, Harry.
250
00:13:20,151 --> 00:13:23,485
Imagine...
Farewell, Chandell.
251
00:13:23,487 --> 00:13:29,357
I'll cast off my criminal skin
like a molting butterfly.
252
00:13:29,359 --> 00:13:30,991
Hold the phone, butterfly.
253
00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:34,427
After you marry that rich old
dame, where does that leave us?
254
00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:36,195
We've slaved for you,
Chandell.
255
00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:41,166
We've given you the best years
of our criminal lives.
256
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:44,268
Dear Doe..
257
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:46,536
Ravishing Rae..
258
00:13:46,538 --> 00:13:48,104
Marvelous Mimi..
259
00:13:48,106 --> 00:13:51,807
You don't dream
I'd cast you off, I hope.
260
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:53,942
I have plans for you.
261
00:13:53,944 --> 00:13:56,377
I'll bet you do.
262
00:13:56,379 --> 00:13:58,278
[high bagpipe notes]
263
00:13:59,113 --> 00:14:01,848
Oh, my ears!
Oh!
264
00:14:07,087 --> 00:14:09,021
Hey, kitties.
265
00:14:10,123 --> 00:14:11,890
What's going on here?
266
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,525
That genius twin brother
of yours.
267
00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:16,059
I had to cool him, Harry.
268
00:14:16,061 --> 00:14:18,928
Take our word,
he's planning to go straight.
269
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,529
And double-cross us all.
270
00:14:20,531 --> 00:14:22,831
It wouldn't surprise me a bit.
271
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,132
'He never was much good.'
272
00:14:24,134 --> 00:14:27,301
- Mr. Slye.
- Yes, amigo?
273
00:14:27,303 --> 00:14:30,837
(Harry)
'A legal question.'
274
00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:37,343
Say this Cooper dame
does marry this boob.
275
00:14:37,345 --> 00:14:39,511
How long before
the will is settled
276
00:14:39,513 --> 00:14:40,378
and he gets the dough?
277
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,214
Well, considering the crowded
state of our courts
278
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,982
I'd say about 11 years.
279
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,149
Eleven years?
280
00:14:46,151 --> 00:14:48,417
With the Dynamic Duo
on our tails
281
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:50,986
we'll be lucky
if we last 11 hours.
282
00:14:50,988 --> 00:14:51,853
Which reminds me, Harry.
283
00:14:51,855 --> 00:14:56,557
My bill for springing you
from the hoosegow.
284
00:14:56,559 --> 00:14:57,324
A 100,000 bucks.
285
00:14:57,326 --> 00:14:59,059
Payable by midnight
tonight or else
286
00:14:59,061 --> 00:15:02,195
ethics demand that I
turn you back in.
287
00:15:02,197 --> 00:15:05,398
You're a charming fellow,
Mr. Slye.
288
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:08,134
[laughing]
I'm a criminal attorney.
289
00:15:08,136 --> 00:15:11,270
It says so...
on my letterhead.
290
00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:19,344
Music, "Dream Boat."
291
00:15:22,047 --> 00:15:24,181
[high bagpipe notes]
292
00:15:24,183 --> 00:15:25,115
No!
293
00:15:25,117 --> 00:15:27,350
[indistinct mumbling]
294
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:31,320
[dramatic music]
295
00:15:31,322 --> 00:15:34,589
Dig out that costume
of my twin brother's.
296
00:15:34,591 --> 00:15:38,059
The one he wore at Queen
Elizabeth's coronation.
297
00:15:38,061 --> 00:15:41,629
I've just thought
of a beautiful new plan.
298
00:15:42,163 --> 00:15:48,034
[crying]
When that awful explosion
happened, they were..
299
00:15:48,635 --> 00:15:52,037
They were enlarging
a photograph of me.
300
00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:55,106
(Harry)
'Sweet Harriet, please.'
301
00:15:55,108 --> 00:15:59,076
'Don't engulf yourself
in foolish guilt.'
302
00:15:59,078 --> 00:16:01,111
Control yourself.
303
00:16:01,113 --> 00:16:02,312
Listen to me.
304
00:16:02,314 --> 00:16:05,548
I have a proposal to make.
305
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,116
A proposal?
306
00:16:07,118 --> 00:16:10,052
Holy heartbreak!
How can he, at a time like this?
307
00:16:10,054 --> 00:16:14,456
I propose to perform
a memorial concert
308
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:16,558
at Gotham Town Hall tonight.
309
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,328
Strange. Hardly
the proposal I expected.
310
00:16:20,330 --> 00:16:24,231
Oh, maestro.
How generous of you.
311
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:25,498
Do me a great honor.
312
00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:31,237
Appear with me on stage
and sing some sweet song
313
00:16:31,239 --> 00:16:33,606
in your incomparable voice.
314
00:16:33,608 --> 00:16:38,143
Oh, yes. I know just the thing.
315
00:16:38,145 --> 00:16:39,577
Wonderful, dear Harriet.
316
00:16:39,579 --> 00:16:44,548
Drop by my dressing room at 7
and we'll rehearse a bit.
317
00:16:44,550 --> 00:16:49,119
Until tonight at 7, farewell.
318
00:16:49,121 --> 00:16:51,020
Adieu.
319
00:16:51,022 --> 00:16:54,556
[instrumental music]
320
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:04,365
Alfred, oh, Alfred.
321
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:05,265
You called, madam?
322
00:17:05,267 --> 00:17:06,933
Alfred, will you
please bring me
323
00:17:06,935 --> 00:17:11,070
a tiny glass
of blackberry brandy?
324
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,304
Oh!
325
00:17:12,306 --> 00:17:13,705
Begging your pardon,
madam, but, uh
326
00:17:13,707 --> 00:17:17,341
this unprecedented request
for strong spirits..
327
00:17:17,343 --> 00:17:18,141
Is something amiss?
328
00:17:18,143 --> 00:17:21,511
It's not amiss, Alfred.
It's a nightmare.
329
00:17:21,513 --> 00:17:26,382
That man who was just here
is an impostor.
330
00:17:26,384 --> 00:17:28,384
He was not Chandell.
331
00:17:28,386 --> 00:17:29,118
Dear me!
332
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,520
How bizarre!
Are you certain, madam?
333
00:17:31,522 --> 00:17:35,023
Oh, yes, Alfred.
I'm quite certain.
334
00:17:35,025 --> 00:17:39,560
When a man whom I know
as well as I know Chandell
335
00:17:39,562 --> 00:17:41,728
gives my hand a kiss..
336
00:17:41,730 --> 00:17:45,465
Well, Alfred,
there's an old saying.
337
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,167
"A girl can tell."
338
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:53,371
¶ I know
it has the secret ¶
339
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:56,173
¶ Of it all
340
00:17:56,175 --> 00:18:03,547
¶ All the longing working
waiting burning churn ¶
341
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:05,181
Oh, dear.
342
00:18:05,183 --> 00:18:08,184
Mercy me. I'm an old fool,
aren't I?
343
00:18:08,186 --> 00:18:10,152
Oh, don't say it, dear lady.
344
00:18:10,154 --> 00:18:14,457
It's your hat brim.
It obscures the sheet music.
345
00:18:14,459 --> 00:18:17,660
Perhaps if you removed
your chapeau.
346
00:18:17,662 --> 00:18:19,828
That's a good idea.
347
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:22,797
[piano music]
348
00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:29,403
As they say in the movies,
"Stick up your mitts."
349
00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:32,272
[music continues]
350
00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:35,375
Come on, out.
351
00:18:50,858 --> 00:18:53,826
You're not the great Chandell.
352
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:57,162
You must be that
awful twin brother
353
00:18:57,164 --> 00:18:59,330
I read about in the papers.
354
00:18:59,332 --> 00:19:01,699
Your name is Harry,
is it not?
355
00:19:01,701 --> 00:19:05,803
Your cleverness outdoes
itself, sweet lady.
356
00:19:05,805 --> 00:19:09,273
Don't you sweet lady me,
you common crook.
357
00:19:09,275 --> 00:19:13,243
What's the plot? Were you
going to marry me for my money?
358
00:19:13,245 --> 00:19:15,411
I'll admit, that was one notion.
359
00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:16,845
But it's been revised, however.
360
00:19:16,847 --> 00:19:19,514
The current plot
is to lure you here
361
00:19:19,516 --> 00:19:21,582
and hold you
for a gigantic ransom.
362
00:19:21,584 --> 00:19:26,386
Oh, fiddlesticks. Who'd pay
a gigantic ransom for me?
363
00:19:26,388 --> 00:19:29,222
The trustees at the Wayne
Foundation, naturally.
364
00:19:29,224 --> 00:19:33,459
As sole heiress to millionaire
Bruce Wayne's vast fortune
365
00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:38,630
you have to sign the papers
or they can't spend a nickel.
366
00:19:38,632 --> 00:19:41,299
What stupid, ugly greed.
367
00:19:41,301 --> 00:19:44,435
'I'm delivering you
to the police.'
368
00:19:44,437 --> 00:19:46,503
Start moving!
369
00:19:46,505 --> 00:19:48,471
Moving, at a time like this
370
00:19:48,473 --> 00:19:53,542
when my scheme is working
so perfectly?
371
00:19:53,544 --> 00:19:55,610
Look around you, sweet fool.
372
00:19:55,612 --> 00:20:01,182
Oh, sure. You think I'd fall
for that old chestnut.
373
00:20:01,184 --> 00:20:03,884
Sleep tight, won't you?
374
00:20:03,886 --> 00:20:07,254
[high bagpipe notes]
375
00:20:07,256 --> 00:20:09,256
[gasping]
376
00:20:12,593 --> 00:20:14,327
Quick, the chauffeur's outside.
377
00:20:14,329 --> 00:20:19,598
- Blow him a lullaby.
- Right, Harry, doll.
378
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,201
[dramatic music]
379
00:20:23,769 --> 00:20:25,302
Harry to piano movers.
380
00:20:25,304 --> 00:20:27,804
Get over here and
put the old lady
381
00:20:27,806 --> 00:20:30,873
and her chauffeur
in the trunk.
382
00:20:34,744 --> 00:20:37,512
Set up the ducks.
and stand back.
383
00:20:37,514 --> 00:20:39,914
[dramatic music]
384
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,289
[gunshots]
385
00:20:49,723 --> 00:20:53,792
Too bad. She was a sweet,
old lady, in her way.
386
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:54,626
[dramatic music]
387
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:59,364
Not just sweet, Harry. One of
the bravest women ever born.
388
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:01,933
We've been tracking you
via a secret radio
389
00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:03,467
placed in
Mrs. Cooper's handbag.
390
00:21:03,469 --> 00:21:06,937
We rescued her and the chauffeur
on the sidewalk.
391
00:21:06,939 --> 00:21:09,272
Now, it's lucky for us
392
00:21:09,274 --> 00:21:13,342
we brought our bullet-proof
Bat-shield.
393
00:21:13,344 --> 00:21:19,915
But it's time to end
this criminal symphony.
394
00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:23,518
[dramatic music]
395
00:21:36,832 --> 00:21:39,567
[high bagpipe notes]
396
00:21:40,969 --> 00:21:43,537
Poor, deluded females.
397
00:21:43,539 --> 00:21:45,705
'Hey, you, you nasty old man.'
398
00:21:45,707 --> 00:21:48,741
Have a whiff of Bat-gas.
399
00:21:48,743 --> 00:21:51,043
[dramatic music]
400
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,749
[both grunting]
401
00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:00,485
[instrumental music]
402
00:22:03,055 --> 00:22:03,821
Gosh, Batman.
403
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,824
Maybe we don't how to turn
this murderous machine off.
404
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:10,294
It is a thought, Robin. It is
not much more than they deserve.
405
00:22:10,296 --> 00:22:14,331
Is there anything more
than a lawyer who mocks the law
406
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,933
or an artist
who takes up crime?
407
00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:17,733
I'm afraid there is.
408
00:22:17,735 --> 00:22:21,336
A sworn crime fighter
who tries to take justice
409
00:22:21,338 --> 00:22:23,304
in his own hands.
410
00:22:36,618 --> 00:22:39,720
With my profoundest
admiration, Mrs. Cooper
411
00:22:39,722 --> 00:22:43,790
a Citizen's Special
Anti-Crime Award.
412
00:22:43,792 --> 00:22:45,358
Oh!
413
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:50,829
A person just does
what he has to do.
414
00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:54,933
And that's what makes
America great, isn't it?
415
00:22:54,935 --> 00:22:57,035
If only there were
more like her.
416
00:22:57,037 --> 00:23:00,471
That's enough about silly me.
417
00:23:00,473 --> 00:23:02,706
Where is Mr. Chandell?
418
00:23:02,708 --> 00:23:03,907
A note for you, madam.
419
00:23:03,909 --> 00:23:06,709
The maestro asked me
to deliver it to you.
420
00:23:06,711 --> 00:23:08,644
- Oh!
- Let me.
421
00:23:10,046 --> 00:23:12,013
[instrumental music]
422
00:23:12,015 --> 00:23:14,682
"Dear sweet Harriet.
423
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:16,917
"It's better this way.
424
00:23:16,919 --> 00:23:19,953
"I'm not worthy of you.
425
00:23:19,955 --> 00:23:21,921
'"I must leave this morning'
426
00:23:21,923 --> 00:23:25,925
[crying]
"on a long, long tour.
427
00:23:25,927 --> 00:23:27,993
"Goodbye.
428
00:23:27,995 --> 00:23:30,762
Yours, Chandell."
429
00:23:32,664 --> 00:23:34,031
A long, long tour?
430
00:23:34,033 --> 00:23:35,899
With the usual time off
for good..
431
00:23:35,901 --> 00:23:41,070
...uh, performance, I expect
it will last about three years.
432
00:23:41,072 --> 00:23:45,674
¶ Oh if I had the wings
433
00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:48,810
¶ Like an angel
434
00:23:48,812 --> 00:23:53,447
¶ Over these prison walls
435
00:23:53,449 --> 00:23:56,883
¶ I would fly
436
00:23:56,885 --> 00:24:01,454
¶ And I'd fly to the arms
437
00:24:01,456 --> 00:24:05,558
¶ Of my poor darlin'
438
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:10,429
¶ And there I'd be willin'
439
00:24:10,431 --> 00:24:12,564
¶ To die
440
00:24:12,566 --> 00:24:16,134
Listen, you bulls.
I'm busting out of here, see.
441
00:24:16,136 --> 00:24:18,402
And ain't nobody gonna stop me.
442
00:24:18,404 --> 00:24:21,004
[piano music]
443
00:24:26,410 --> 00:24:30,846
(male narrator)
Next week,
the Penguin waddles again.
444
00:24:32,682 --> 00:24:35,550
[theme music]
445
00:24:35,552 --> 00:24:37,518
¶ Batman
446
00:24:38,653 --> 00:24:40,620
¶ Batman
447
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:43,956
¶ Batman
448
00:24:44,924 --> 00:24:46,925
¶ Batman
449
00:24:47,893 --> 00:24:51,195
¶ Batman Batman
450
00:24:51,197 --> 00:24:53,163
¶ Batman
451
00:24:54,431 --> 00:24:57,699
¶ Batman Batman
452
00:24:57,701 --> 00:24:59,801
¶ Batman
453
00:25:05,207 --> 00:25:07,875
¶ Na na na na na na na
454
00:25:07,877 --> 00:25:10,644
¶ Batman