1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,134 ¶ Batman 2 00:00:07,272 --> 00:00:11,174 (male narrator) A sunny Wednesday morning in Gotham City. 3 00:00:11,176 --> 00:00:15,344 The sort of Wednesday that makes you wish it were Sunday. 4 00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:20,382 And that Gotham City, City hall is dream of tourists 5 00:00:20,384 --> 00:00:22,083 went their way into see 6 00:00:22,085 --> 00:00:26,554 the curios and trophies on permanent display. 7 00:00:26,688 --> 00:00:29,222 (male #1) And this, ladies and gentlemen 8 00:00:29,224 --> 00:00:32,291 is the original charter of Gotham city. 9 00:00:32,293 --> 00:00:35,494 And due to it's excessive age and delicate condition 10 00:00:35,496 --> 00:00:39,731 (male #1) 'It has been sealed in this guaranteed burglar-proof' 11 00:00:39,733 --> 00:00:41,499 display case which has been 12 00:00:41,501 --> 00:00:45,703 vacuum sealed to protect such a valuable document. 13 00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:46,804 (female #1) 'Oh, god.' 14 00:00:46,806 --> 00:00:49,807 Are you absolutely certain it's burglar-proof? 15 00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:51,441 (male #1) 'Absolutely!' 16 00:00:51,443 --> 00:00:55,278 And now, if you'll step this way, please. 17 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:57,480 [grenade hissing] 18 00:00:57,482 --> 00:01:01,050 The eggs-pert here has much to learn. 19 00:01:01,184 --> 00:01:04,452 [crowd coughing] 20 00:01:04,686 --> 00:01:07,054 [coughing continues] 21 00:01:07,755 --> 00:01:13,359 No material can resist my incomparable eggs-plosive. 22 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,195 [sizzling explosions] 23 00:01:27,406 --> 00:01:31,275 Now, let us make our eggs-it. 24 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:36,312 Impossible! 25 00:01:36,314 --> 00:01:38,714 That a criminal could march in and purloin Gotham City's 26 00:01:38,716 --> 00:01:41,383 most priceless possession right under our nostrils. 27 00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:44,219 But why, commissioner? That's what I can't figure out. 28 00:01:44,221 --> 00:01:47,522 Nor can I, O'Hara, nor can I. What did the witnesses say? 29 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:51,092 Oh, there's no doubt about it. They all agreed on one thing 30 00:01:51,094 --> 00:01:53,360 his description. It was Egghead alright. 31 00:01:53,362 --> 00:01:56,663 The rotten-est egg of them all. 32 00:01:56,797 --> 00:01:58,230 Any suggestions, O'Hara? 33 00:01:58,232 --> 00:02:01,800 Well, it isn't so bad facing thieves, murderers 34 00:02:01,802 --> 00:02:02,734 run of the mill crooks but.. 35 00:02:02,736 --> 00:02:07,472 I know it seems to be calling the Caped Crusader pretty often. 36 00:02:07,706 --> 00:02:10,607 There's no other way to handle it. 37 00:02:10,741 --> 00:02:15,611 And in stately Wayne Manor, home of millionaire Bruce Wayne 38 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:19,114 and his youthful ward Dick Grayson. 39 00:02:19,415 --> 00:02:23,151 [Bat-phone beeping] 40 00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:29,456 If you'll hold the line a moment, sir. 41 00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:32,559 I'll gain his attention for you. 42 00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:38,331 You see, Dick, many years ago Gotham City was founded by 43 00:02:38,333 --> 00:02:41,167 three families who landed on Gotham rock. 44 00:02:41,169 --> 00:02:42,568 The Savages, the Tylers and the Waynes. 45 00:02:42,570 --> 00:02:46,605 Right, the original land was leased from the Mohican Indians 46 00:02:46,607 --> 00:02:50,642 for the price of nine raccoon pelts. 47 00:02:50,843 --> 00:02:52,243 Wow. What a deal that was? 48 00:02:52,245 --> 00:02:56,313 Every five years, the lease has to be renewed. The City Charter 49 00:02:56,315 --> 00:02:59,316 is very specific about honoring that debt. 50 00:02:59,318 --> 00:03:01,685 Tonight is the night to make payment. 51 00:03:01,687 --> 00:03:04,320 So, Pete Savage, Tim Tyler and I 52 00:03:04,322 --> 00:03:07,656 the descendants of the original settlers have to deliver 53 00:03:07,658 --> 00:03:11,359 three raccoon pelts each to Chief Screaming Chicken 54 00:03:11,361 --> 00:03:13,427 in order to fulfil the obligation. 55 00:03:13,429 --> 00:03:15,262 Gosh! Where did you get the pelts? 56 00:03:15,264 --> 00:03:18,431 I had to buy a whole raccoon coat from 57 00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:24,303 a very popular crooner of the 1920s who'd fallen on hard times 58 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,605 had to pay a pretty price for it too. 59 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:31,543 This ones held up very well for a raccoon. 60 00:03:33,412 --> 00:03:35,746 A matter of great importance has risen, sir. 61 00:03:35,748 --> 00:03:37,881 Your attention would be appreciated. 62 00:03:37,883 --> 00:03:40,717 A contact to be...read. 63 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:43,286 I'll take care of it immediately, Alfred. 64 00:03:43,288 --> 00:03:45,254 I'll go with you, Bruce. 65 00:03:45,888 --> 00:03:48,522 Honestly, Alfred. 66 00:03:48,789 --> 00:03:50,489 Those two are so busy 67 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,458 I'll wager Batman and Robin don't get around 68 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:55,660 as much as Bruce and Dick! 69 00:03:55,662 --> 00:03:59,330 I, uh, I rather doubt that, madam. 70 00:03:59,332 --> 00:04:01,465 - Yes, commissioner. - Dire news, Batman. 71 00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:04,768 Egghead is back with a carton full of crime. 72 00:04:04,770 --> 00:04:07,337 We'll be right there. 73 00:04:08,939 --> 00:04:10,940 To the bat-poles. 74 00:04:15,512 --> 00:04:18,947 [theme music] 75 00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,689 ¶ Batman 76 00:04:29,757 --> 00:04:31,791 ¶ Batman 77 00:04:32,993 --> 00:04:35,227 ¶ Batman 78 00:04:36,262 --> 00:04:38,463 ¶ Batman 79 00:04:39,398 --> 00:04:40,564 ¶ Batman 80 00:04:40,566 --> 00:04:42,632 ¶ Batman 81 00:04:42,634 --> 00:04:44,767 ¶ Batman 82 00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:47,435 ¶ Batman 83 00:04:47,437 --> 00:04:49,003 ¶ Batman 84 00:04:49,005 --> 00:04:49,770 ¶ Batman 85 00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:54,441 ¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶ 86 00:04:54,443 --> 00:04:56,776 ¶ Batman 87 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:16,428 [theme music] 88 00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:36,380 Why would he take the trouble to steal the city charter? 89 00:05:36,382 --> 00:05:37,414 Who knows what evil lurks? 90 00:05:37,416 --> 00:05:40,917 He's a tough egg, Batman. The smartest man in the world. 91 00:05:40,919 --> 00:05:42,919 The second smartest man in the world. 92 00:05:42,921 --> 00:05:45,354 Well, present company excepted, of course. 93 00:05:45,356 --> 00:05:48,623 He's assuredly the smartest villain we've ever faced. 94 00:05:48,625 --> 00:05:51,859 Was there any evidence left at the scene of the crime? 95 00:05:51,861 --> 00:05:55,696 None, Boy Wonder, frankly was stumped. 96 00:05:55,698 --> 00:05:58,732 The Gotham City Charter. 97 00:05:58,734 --> 00:05:59,632 What does it say? 98 00:05:59,634 --> 00:06:02,001 Aside from it's constitutional edicts 99 00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:04,770 it's purpose is to act as a treaty between 100 00:06:04,772 --> 00:06:06,838 the Mohican Indians and the founders. 101 00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:10,007 Holy bill of rights! Maybe Egghead wants to start a war 102 00:06:10,009 --> 00:06:13,043 between the Gotham City citizens and the Indians. 103 00:06:13,045 --> 00:06:14,944 I rather doubt it, Robin. 104 00:06:14,946 --> 00:06:16,645 There's only one Indian left 105 00:06:16,647 --> 00:06:19,614 he'd be outnumbered 10 million to one. 106 00:06:19,616 --> 00:06:24,585 I think it has something to do with the leasing conditions. 107 00:06:24,587 --> 00:06:27,020 That probably means that Egghead will make a deal 108 00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:31,057 with Peter Savage, Tim Tyler or Bruce Wayne. 109 00:06:31,059 --> 00:06:34,093 Egghead does not make deals. 110 00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:35,694 Where is Peter Savage now? 111 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,996 Undoubtedly in his home, here in Gotham City. 112 00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,965 He spends most of his time in Paris, he's something 113 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,500 bon vivant and patron of the arts 114 00:06:43,502 --> 00:06:47,103 but he's always here for the Raccoon Ceremony 115 00:06:47,105 --> 00:06:48,637 and to distribute the pelts. 116 00:06:48,639 --> 00:06:51,006 And I think I know where Tim Tyler is. 117 00:06:51,008 --> 00:06:52,374 Probably out at Tyler's Stadium 118 00:06:52,376 --> 00:06:54,976 watching his team play baseball against the Pets. 119 00:06:54,978 --> 00:06:57,745 And that leaves only Bruce Wayne. 120 00:06:57,747 --> 00:06:58,979 I, uh, wonder where he is. 121 00:06:58,981 --> 00:07:03,483 Unquestionably, out doing something inconsequential 122 00:07:03,485 --> 00:07:05,918 with his youthful ward Dick Grayson. 123 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,587 You know how those millionaire playboys are. 124 00:07:08,589 --> 00:07:09,821 - Let's go, Robin. - Where to? 125 00:07:09,823 --> 00:07:17,061 To the teepee of Screaming Chicken last of the Mohicans. 126 00:07:17,063 --> 00:07:18,929 Meanwhile, behind the doors 127 00:07:18,931 --> 00:07:24,768 of apparently legitimate import firm.. 128 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:30,607 Eggs-cellent, I might even go so far as to say eggs-quisite. 129 00:07:30,609 --> 00:07:32,075 Well, what you got in mind, boss? 130 00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,777 It looks like some old piece of paper to me. 131 00:07:34,779 --> 00:07:37,412 That's because you have no foresight, Benedict. 132 00:07:37,414 --> 00:07:39,847 Not everybody is as smart as you are Egghead. 133 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:44,151 Not anybody is as smart as I am, Foo Yung. 134 00:07:44,153 --> 00:07:46,887 Please, don't talk so fast. 135 00:07:46,889 --> 00:07:49,623 What's she following us for all the time? 136 00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:50,957 I don't like dames on capers. 137 00:07:50,959 --> 00:07:55,761 Fortunately, not everyone thinks like that, Mr. Benedict. 138 00:07:55,763 --> 00:07:56,461 Hi, Eggy-baby. 139 00:07:56,463 --> 00:08:03,501 Please, it's Mr. Egghead before other people not Eggy-baby. 140 00:08:03,503 --> 00:08:06,704 My eggs-ecutive secretary Ms. Bacon is 141 00:08:06,706 --> 00:08:08,038 taking down my every thought. 142 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,774 That way posterity will have on record the working 143 00:08:10,776 --> 00:08:15,512 of the most brilliant criminal mind of all time 144 00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:16,946 if I do say so myself. 145 00:08:16,948 --> 00:08:17,980 You gonna publish a book? 146 00:08:17,982 --> 00:08:22,617 Well, now let us eggs-amine this more carefully, huh? 147 00:08:22,619 --> 00:08:27,054 There must be a loophole in this charter that will enable me 148 00:08:27,056 --> 00:08:31,725 to eggs-tort control of the cit-he-he here it is. 149 00:08:31,727 --> 00:08:33,026 Look at that my rotten eggs. 150 00:08:33,028 --> 00:08:37,063 "Whereas and to it, if the price of nine raccoon pelts is not 151 00:08:37,065 --> 00:08:38,898 "paid to the Mohican representative 152 00:08:38,900 --> 00:08:41,634 "by the descendants of the Savage, Tyler and Wayne families 153 00:08:41,636 --> 00:08:46,105 "and whereas, if it is not paid on time, said land will revert 154 00:08:46,107 --> 00:08:48,140 "back to its original owners 155 00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:50,442 and/or their legal representatives." 156 00:08:50,444 --> 00:08:51,609 Oh, we've got them this time. 157 00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:57,982 We've harped them with their eggs-post-facto down. 158 00:08:57,984 --> 00:09:00,150 What's he talkin' about, Foo? 159 00:09:00,152 --> 00:09:00,850 Search me. 160 00:09:00,852 --> 00:09:03,185 - A little slower, please. - Fine, mm. 161 00:09:03,187 --> 00:09:05,053 My fingers hurt. 162 00:09:05,055 --> 00:09:05,820 Don't you know 163 00:09:05,822 --> 00:09:10,024 who the representative of the Mohicans is? 164 00:09:10,026 --> 00:09:10,958 Oh, you mean that little guy 165 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:15,095 that's got the blanket concession out on the highway? 166 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:16,996 Eggs-actly. 167 00:09:17,764 --> 00:09:21,233 Chief Screaming Chicken. 168 00:09:21,901 --> 00:09:23,501 The last of the Mohicans. 169 00:09:23,503 --> 00:09:27,037 [instrumental music] 170 00:09:38,049 --> 00:09:39,249 - How. - What. 171 00:09:39,251 --> 00:09:41,184 - When. - Where. 172 00:09:50,694 --> 00:09:54,530 You, you are only person in Gotham city who know 173 00:09:54,532 --> 00:09:55,831 traditional Mohican greeting. 174 00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:58,767 I've long been a student of your tribal customs 175 00:09:58,769 --> 00:10:00,001 Chief Screaming Chicken. 176 00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:01,268 What you want with Screaming Chicken? 177 00:10:01,270 --> 00:10:03,737 Tonight's the night when you receive payment 178 00:10:03,739 --> 00:10:05,171 on the Gotham City lease renewal. 179 00:10:05,173 --> 00:10:09,675 Me think price too low for Gotham City, nine raccoon pelts. 180 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:14,579 Cost of living go up and up, me want 12 raccoon pelts. 181 00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,148 The contract was for nine. 182 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,716 Indian poor businessman. 183 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:24,154 My cousin, oh, he sell Manhattan for $24 184 00:10:24,156 --> 00:10:25,822 could have got 35. 185 00:10:25,824 --> 00:10:27,624 Be that as it may, Chief Screaming Chicken 186 00:10:27,626 --> 00:10:31,661 I'm here to make sure that you are at the ceremonies tonight. 187 00:10:31,663 --> 00:10:34,897 It's imperative that you attend. 188 00:10:34,899 --> 00:10:37,900 Absolutely. 189 00:10:37,902 --> 00:10:40,302 Thank you. 190 00:10:40,304 --> 00:10:41,903 Chow, chief. 191 00:10:57,853 --> 00:11:01,989 A magnificent eggs-hibition, Chief Screaming Chicken. 192 00:11:01,991 --> 00:11:06,226 What I have done with you, you will be able to exercise your 193 00:11:06,228 --> 00:11:08,394 most eggs-travagant desires. 194 00:11:08,396 --> 00:11:14,233 If you give me an eggs-clusive lease on Gotham City. 195 00:11:14,235 --> 00:11:17,803 Me no give you lease, not until tonight. 196 00:11:17,805 --> 00:11:22,174 Me honor bound if paid nine raccoon pelt. 197 00:11:22,176 --> 00:11:25,110 - And if not? - Me deal with highest bidder. 198 00:11:25,112 --> 00:11:28,847 But, don't worry, they pay me pelts, they always do 199 00:11:28,849 --> 00:11:29,380 it is tradition. 200 00:11:29,382 --> 00:11:32,216 Ah, but tonight one of those men won't show up 201 00:11:32,218 --> 00:11:35,018 and then the lease will eggs-pire. 202 00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:38,187 You make mighty big talk. 203 00:11:38,189 --> 00:11:39,755 Kemosabe. 204 00:11:39,757 --> 00:11:41,757 Kemosabe? 205 00:11:41,759 --> 00:11:43,792 I thought I heard just about everything. 206 00:11:43,794 --> 00:11:46,361 Yeah, Screaming, what's that mean? 207 00:11:46,363 --> 00:11:47,228 Me no know. 208 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:49,330 Me hear it once on radio. 209 00:11:49,332 --> 00:11:51,332 Very old word. 210 00:11:58,973 --> 00:11:59,472 [beeping] 211 00:11:59,474 --> 00:12:02,975 It's no use, Robin, not a single new egg company has opened 212 00:12:02,977 --> 00:12:05,377 in Gotham city in the last few weeks. 213 00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:06,711 I can't understand it. 214 00:12:06,713 --> 00:12:08,079 That's as usual modus operandi, eh? 215 00:12:08,081 --> 00:12:11,715 Egghead always has his hide-out associated with some egg outfit. 216 00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:14,884 Obviously, he has changed his way of thinking. 217 00:12:14,886 --> 00:12:19,989 And if that's not enough, he's probably changed the way he.. 218 00:12:19,991 --> 00:12:22,358 Huh...well, that's it. 219 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:25,160 Of course, what kind of company sells 220 00:12:25,162 --> 00:12:29,063 eggs that you can't fry, scramble or boil? 221 00:12:29,065 --> 00:12:30,364 A fish egg company. 222 00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:31,164 Right, Robin. 223 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,366 Let's see what that brings. 224 00:12:41,441 --> 00:12:43,074 [beeping] 225 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:48,979 Look at this, a new egg firm has just opened on Pointview Street. 226 00:12:48,981 --> 00:12:51,781 The Ghoti Oeufs Caviar Company. 227 00:12:51,783 --> 00:12:54,784 Oeufs means eggs in French, but, I don't get 228 00:12:54,786 --> 00:12:56,085 this other word at all. 229 00:12:56,087 --> 00:12:59,455 The word is 'fish', Robin. 230 00:12:59,457 --> 00:13:00,789 Ghoti is fish? 231 00:13:00,791 --> 00:13:04,359 See here, English phonetics. 232 00:13:07,429 --> 00:13:12,099 G-H, becomes F, as in tough or a laugh. 233 00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:14,768 O becomes I as in women. 234 00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:22,976 T-I becomes S-H, as in ration or the word nation. 235 00:13:23,110 --> 00:13:24,477 Holy semantics, Batman! 236 00:13:24,479 --> 00:13:26,078 You never cease to amaze me. 237 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,479 No time for compliments now, Robin. 238 00:13:27,481 --> 00:13:31,449 We must fort some criminals. To the Batmobile. 239 00:13:31,451 --> 00:13:35,319 Oh you-oh you're making a fine deal Chief Screaming Chicken. 240 00:13:35,321 --> 00:13:39,990 $100 a month for life and all the eggs you can eat. 241 00:13:39,992 --> 00:13:43,159 Me 60 years old now, me needing pension. 242 00:13:43,161 --> 00:13:47,229 You 60? Heh, hope I look that good when I'm 60. 243 00:13:47,231 --> 00:13:49,297 Well, I have great eggs-pectations 244 00:13:49,299 --> 00:13:50,231 for our relationship, chief. 245 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:54,168 I'll tell you what I'll give you as an added bonus, you may have 246 00:13:54,170 --> 00:13:57,337 the import, eggs-port concession for all 247 00:13:57,339 --> 00:14:00,573 genuine American-Indian blankets made in Japan. 248 00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:06,312 Oh, you are one heck of fine pale face, mm. 249 00:14:06,314 --> 00:14:07,546 Yeah, you no Indian giver? 250 00:14:07,548 --> 00:14:12,317 Oh, no, Eggy-baby never gave an Indian anything. 251 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:16,487 Well, I for one am eggs-hausted. 252 00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:20,123 It's been a trying and I must rest 253 00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:23,826 my fantastic brain for tonight. 254 00:14:26,863 --> 00:14:31,032 There will be no rest for the wicked today, Egghead. 255 00:14:31,034 --> 00:14:33,434 Boy, you guys have egg on your faces. 256 00:14:33,436 --> 00:14:36,203 All the king's horses and all the king's men 257 00:14:36,205 --> 00:14:38,471 won't be able to put you together again. 258 00:14:38,473 --> 00:14:41,373 Oh, Batman, you're so lyrical. 259 00:14:42,541 --> 00:14:46,143 [intense music] 260 00:14:59,423 --> 00:15:02,992 [grunting] 261 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:33,355 Well, that's enough eggs-ercise for one day, Batman. 262 00:15:33,357 --> 00:15:36,091 Stop, me give Boy Wonder very short haircut. 263 00:15:36,093 --> 00:15:37,959 You, Chicken, turned chicken. 264 00:15:37,961 --> 00:15:40,594 (Batman) 'Have you joined the enemy camp as well?' 265 00:15:40,596 --> 00:15:42,596 This is an acid egg, Batman. 266 00:15:42,598 --> 00:15:46,499 One move and I'll drop it on Robin's head. 267 00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:49,368 Nobody could be that rotten. 268 00:15:49,370 --> 00:15:51,269 Don't tempt me. 269 00:15:51,271 --> 00:15:54,138 - Ah! - Ow! 270 00:15:54,140 --> 00:15:57,541 You put all your eggs in one basket, Egghead 271 00:15:57,543 --> 00:15:58,308 a fatal mistake. 272 00:15:58,310 --> 00:16:01,511 Prepare yourself for an eggs-peditious defeat. 273 00:16:01,513 --> 00:16:02,612 That's very apt, Robin. 274 00:16:02,614 --> 00:16:09,385 - Huh, glad you liked it. - Well, see how you like this. 275 00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,053 What is it, Batman? 276 00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:15,524 I...I don't know. 277 00:16:15,526 --> 00:16:19,394 Whatever it is, it's awfully funny. 278 00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:20,528 - Ha-ha-ha-ha. - Ha-ha-ha-ha. 279 00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:23,697 The yolk's on them, it's laughing gas. 280 00:16:23,699 --> 00:16:27,300 It's about the funniest trick anyone's ever pulled on us. 281 00:16:27,302 --> 00:16:28,367 - Yes. - Ha-ha-ha 282 00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:31,036 He's even funnier than the Joker. 283 00:16:31,038 --> 00:16:35,306 I can't, ha-ha-ha, I can't stop laughing. 284 00:16:35,308 --> 00:16:38,509 And you won't. Not until the gas wears off. 285 00:16:38,511 --> 00:16:41,178 Let's go, boss, before we start laughing too. 286 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:44,614 An egg-cellent idea. 287 00:16:44,616 --> 00:16:49,952 - Let's go after them. - No-no-no-not now, old chum. 288 00:16:49,954 --> 00:16:54,289 We're not in condition, hold on a second. 289 00:16:54,291 --> 00:16:57,692 Here, here, here, take this. 290 00:16:57,694 --> 00:17:05,399 It's a sad pill to neutralize the laughing gas. 291 00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:07,501 It'll clear our minds. 292 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:19,011 Well, he may have won the first round.. 293 00:17:19,013 --> 00:17:25,450 ...but, but, we're going to fight fire with fire. 294 00:17:25,452 --> 00:17:27,585 Robin.. 295 00:17:27,587 --> 00:17:33,691 ...we'll never beat Egghead with brute strength. 296 00:17:33,693 --> 00:17:38,529 We must, we must out, out-think him. 297 00:17:41,165 --> 00:17:45,535 Fore-misguided-redskin Chief Screaming Chicken 298 00:17:45,537 --> 00:17:50,339 is obviously under Egghead's influence, therefore, it stands 299 00:17:50,341 --> 00:17:53,775 to reason that the lease to Gotham City must be close 300 00:17:53,777 --> 00:17:56,477 to being in Egghead's greedy hands. 301 00:17:56,479 --> 00:17:58,212 How do we stop it from happening? 302 00:17:58,214 --> 00:18:03,650 Egghead must prevent either one or all three of the millionaires 303 00:18:03,652 --> 00:18:07,520 from delivering their pelts in order to break the lease. 304 00:18:07,522 --> 00:18:10,089 - I'll call Tim Tyler and Pete-- - No, I'll do it. 305 00:18:10,091 --> 00:18:12,691 The machine is attuned to Bruce Wayne's voice. 306 00:18:12,693 --> 00:18:15,360 Clandite-5-7-5-8-9, please. 307 00:18:15,362 --> 00:18:16,227 [machine connecting] 308 00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:19,797 Gosh, Batman, I've never seen you use a telephone directory. 309 00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:22,266 How do you remember all those numbers? 310 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,267 Elementary, my dear Robin. 311 00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,103 I simply transpose the numbers into letters 312 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:30,674 for example, Pete Savage's number is the name of a girl 313 00:18:30,676 --> 00:18:32,542 that he and I used to date. 314 00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,644 - Holy IT 'n T. - Mm. 315 00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:35,645 (Pete) 'Hello.' 316 00:18:35,647 --> 00:18:38,347 Hello, Pete, Bruce Wayne here, I'm calling to see 317 00:18:38,349 --> 00:18:42,551 whether you'll be attending the anniversary celebration tonight. 318 00:18:42,553 --> 00:18:44,219 It's the Raccoon Ceremony you know? 319 00:18:44,221 --> 00:18:45,620 Certainment, I'll be there. 320 00:18:45,622 --> 00:18:47,788 You're [speaking French], aren't you? 321 00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:49,289 Heh-heh, yes it should be fun. 322 00:18:49,291 --> 00:18:51,291 It's nice to have you back in town, Pete. 323 00:18:51,293 --> 00:18:55,828 Be it ever so humble, there is no place like Gotham City. 324 00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:59,698 - Au revoir, Pete. - Au revoir, mon vier. 325 00:19:01,734 --> 00:19:02,667 Very good, Mr. Savage. 326 00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:06,070 Everything sounds good there, let's try Tim Tyler. 327 00:19:06,072 --> 00:19:08,238 Quenton-6-5-7-0-1, please. 328 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,807 You can't make a word out of that one 329 00:19:10,809 --> 00:19:12,141 because of the one and zero. 330 00:19:12,143 --> 00:19:15,244 Things don't always work out the way we want them to, Robin 331 00:19:15,246 --> 00:19:18,580 When that happens, I depend on my well developed memory. 332 00:19:18,582 --> 00:19:21,115 When was the last time you called that number? 333 00:19:21,117 --> 00:19:23,450 - Yesterday. - Sour, you're wiz, Batman. 334 00:19:23,452 --> 00:19:26,453 [phone ringing] Tim Tyler speaking. 335 00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:28,254 Hello, Tim, this is Bruce Wayne. 336 00:19:28,256 --> 00:19:29,521 Bruce, how are ya? 337 00:19:29,523 --> 00:19:31,823 Are you attending the ceremony tonight? 338 00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:34,559 Wouldn't miss it if it meant my life. 339 00:19:34,561 --> 00:19:35,459 Oh, that's swell. 340 00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:37,661 - See you there. - Right. 341 00:19:37,663 --> 00:19:42,565 You demonstrated un-eggs-pected good sense, Mr. Tyler. 342 00:19:42,567 --> 00:19:45,701 What do you want from me, Egghead, I'm just a poor 343 00:19:45,703 --> 00:19:48,136 major league baseball team owner. 344 00:19:48,138 --> 00:19:51,806 How about season tickets? I love halfbacks. 345 00:19:51,808 --> 00:19:55,176 How eggs-asperating. 346 00:20:00,315 --> 00:20:03,350 Oh, what a beautiful night? 347 00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:07,453 Mercy of life, do we look sharp? 348 00:20:07,455 --> 00:20:11,690 Have a good time, boys, and don't stay out too long. 349 00:20:11,692 --> 00:20:13,792 Do you know how I worry? 350 00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,894 I wonder where our official escort is. 351 00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:16,828 Dick, do you have the pelts? 352 00:20:16,830 --> 00:20:20,598 Here they are, but I doubt if Chief Screaming Chicken 353 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,466 will be there to claim them 354 00:20:22,468 --> 00:20:23,600 not after all he has done. 355 00:20:23,602 --> 00:20:26,636 Still, we must live up to our part of the bargain 356 00:20:26,638 --> 00:20:30,706 and deliver nine pelts before midnight. 357 00:20:30,708 --> 00:20:33,408 I'll never understand why Chief Screaming Chicken 358 00:20:33,410 --> 00:20:34,842 decided to put in with Egghead. 359 00:20:34,844 --> 00:20:39,446 He told me once that he worked for a while as a bottle-washer. 360 00:20:39,448 --> 00:20:40,847 He had an argument with the boss 361 00:20:40,849 --> 00:20:43,382 who told him to go back to his own country. 362 00:20:43,384 --> 00:20:47,152 - But, this is his country. - Ha ha ha. 363 00:20:47,154 --> 00:20:47,552 Exactly. 364 00:20:47,554 --> 00:20:51,355 Any wonder why Chief Screaming Chicken is dissatisfied? 365 00:20:51,357 --> 00:20:52,489 Your escort, sir. 366 00:20:52,491 --> 00:20:55,158 Oh, thank you, Alfred. 367 00:21:00,230 --> 00:21:02,798 - So, they got you too. - What do you mean? 368 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,668 This is a trap, Bruce, Egghead is driving this Limousine. 369 00:21:06,670 --> 00:21:08,703 And we walked right into it. 370 00:21:08,705 --> 00:21:11,605 We can always get out. 371 00:21:11,607 --> 00:21:12,906 There's no handle on this door. 372 00:21:12,908 --> 00:21:14,240 (Egghead) 'That's correct.' 373 00:21:14,242 --> 00:21:19,445 So, get ready for an eggs-otic eggs-perience. 374 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,922 [coughing] 375 00:21:32,824 --> 00:21:37,794 There are several reasons why I called this meeting, gentlemen. 376 00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,563 Aside from the obvious why the keeping you all 377 00:21:40,565 --> 00:21:44,534 from the anniversary ceremony when Chief Screaming Chicken 378 00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:49,906 appears to collect his raccoon pelts. It has occurred to me 379 00:21:49,908 --> 00:21:53,542 that one of you is Batman. 380 00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:54,776 How exciting. 381 00:21:54,778 --> 00:21:58,913 Yes, you see this fiendish machine? 382 00:21:58,915 --> 00:22:00,714 Well, it's one of my own inventions. 383 00:22:00,716 --> 00:22:04,784 (Egghead) 'For a lack of another name for it, I call it' 384 00:22:04,786 --> 00:22:07,319 'an electro-thought transfer.' 385 00:22:07,321 --> 00:22:12,324 It sucks every shred of information from the mind 386 00:22:12,326 --> 00:22:14,559 of the person sitting under that apparatus 387 00:22:14,561 --> 00:22:19,463 and places it in the brain of the one under this one. 388 00:22:19,465 --> 00:22:21,998 - How ugly. - How disgusting. 389 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,632 How eggs-hilerating. 390 00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:28,403 Long ago, my superior intellect deduced that Batman must be 391 00:22:28,405 --> 00:22:31,072 a person who was a millionaire and didn't have to work 392 00:22:31,074 --> 00:22:35,843 because crime-fighting is such an eggs-pensive hobby. 393 00:22:35,845 --> 00:22:37,644 Which one is it, Eggy-baby, hmm? 394 00:22:37,646 --> 00:22:39,946 Oh, please, please, Ms. Bacon. 395 00:22:39,948 --> 00:22:44,483 All of you are approximately the right age, in your early 30s 396 00:22:44,485 --> 00:22:46,852 but, I've eliminated you, Mr. Tyler because you are 397 00:22:46,854 --> 00:22:50,088 left-handed, now the caped crusader is not a port-sider 398 00:22:50,090 --> 00:22:53,524 and you, Mr. Savage are out because of your accent. 399 00:22:53,526 --> 00:22:56,994 So, aside from a couple of ageing "Rock 'n' Roll" singers 400 00:22:56,996 --> 00:23:00,430 you, Mr. Wayne are the only Gotham City millionaire 401 00:23:00,432 --> 00:23:05,368 who is athletically inclined with eggs-cessive agility 402 00:23:05,370 --> 00:23:08,471 therefore, you must be Batman. 403 00:23:08,473 --> 00:23:12,675 You realize this is all waste of time. 404 00:23:12,677 --> 00:23:14,877 Not at all, Mr. Wayne. 405 00:23:14,879 --> 00:23:18,914 My machine has a rather eggs-centric 406 00:23:18,916 --> 00:23:19,781 and ugly side-effect 407 00:23:19,783 --> 00:23:25,119 (Egghead) 'In removing all the knowledge from your brain' 408 00:23:25,121 --> 00:23:29,490 it will leave you an empty-headed fart. 409 00:23:29,492 --> 00:23:32,526 And there's no use struggling, Mr. Wayne, you're being held 410 00:23:32,528 --> 00:23:34,995 there by an electromagnetic force. 411 00:23:34,997 --> 00:23:37,964 I'm leaving. Things like this give me a headache. 412 00:23:37,966 --> 00:23:42,168 Alright, Benedict, turn on the machine. 413 00:23:45,705 --> 00:23:48,673 It will take a moment or two to warm up. 414 00:23:48,675 --> 00:23:52,543 Then we shall see if my eggs-ceptional logistics 415 00:23:52,545 --> 00:23:56,780 are correct, but even if I'm wrong about your being Batman 416 00:23:56,782 --> 00:24:03,520 Mr. Wayne, your brain will be utterly destroyed. 417 00:24:03,522 --> 00:24:05,188 How diabolical! 418 00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:06,455 How inhuman 419 00:24:06,457 --> 00:24:08,023 How eggs-cruciating! 420 00:24:08,025 --> 00:24:12,060 Will the world's greatest criminal mind 421 00:24:12,062 --> 00:24:14,929 eggs-tract the true identity of Batman? 422 00:24:14,931 --> 00:24:22,036 The eggs-planation to these and other electric questions 423 00:24:22,038 --> 00:24:23,003 tomorrow! 424 00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:28,174 Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel. 425 00:24:31,578 --> 00:24:34,680 [theme music] 426 00:24:34,682 --> 00:24:36,815 ¶ Batman 427 00:24:37,483 --> 00:24:39,617 ¶ Batman 428 00:24:40,619 --> 00:24:42,753 ¶ Batman 429 00:24:43,788 --> 00:24:45,688 ¶ Batman 430 00:24:46,790 --> 00:24:48,590 ¶ Batman 431 00:24:48,592 --> 00:24:49,958 ¶ Batman 432 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,793 ¶ Batman 433 00:24:53,195 --> 00:24:54,728 ¶ Batman 434 00:24:54,730 --> 00:24:56,596 ¶ Batman 435 00:24:56,598 --> 00:24:58,664 ¶ Batman 436 00:25:03,569 --> 00:25:06,571 ¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶ 437 00:25:06,573 --> 00:25:08,906 ¶ Batman