¶ Batman
(male narrator) So far we have seen..
...Ma Parker come to town.
Batman and Robin call.
The little old lady surrender.
Treachery..
Capture of Pretty Boy Parker.
Machine Gun Parker caught.
Mad Dog catchers.
Legs give up.
Wheelchair whizz.
The Parkers in the Pen.
Deception.
Ma take over.
Engine of destruction.
On the road..
...going on 60.
Was the Batmobile blasted? Boy Wonder bombed?
Batman blown to bits?
Better not budge.
¶ Batman
¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶
¶ Batman
[theme music]
[tires screeching]
That's right, warden, when the Batmobile's speedometer
hits 60, that's the end of Batman and Robin.
Gosh, I'm hungry.
Hope Aunt Harriet has a good meal waiting.
Let's go faster.
You see that sign, Robin, speed limit 55 miles an hour.
A good driver always observes the speed laws.
It's the best way to stay out of trouble.
You're right.
What worries me is what that trustee said.
What was that?
That Warden Crichton does 70 miles per hour on this road.
The warden wouldn't break the speed laws.
Maybe he wanted us to drive faster.
Maybe he wasn't just looking at the Batmobile engine.
Just as I thought, dynamite.
There, that is it, we just dynamited the Dynamic Duo.
Now there won't be any interference with my plans.
We got everything here we need the personnel, the talent
the weapons and the perfect hideout.
- Hideout? - Sure.
When we start pulling our jobs then who'll
think of looking for the culprits in the Penitentiary.
Heaven help us, it might work.
Sure, it's gonna work and you know why, warden?
'Cause the Pen is mightier than the sword.
[laughing]
- Ma, you're a riot. - Yeah, a prison riot.
Alright, now, let's get down to business.
Legs, you go take down those curtains.
Oh, Ma, why take them down, they make the place look real nice.
Whoever heard of a warden's office lookin' nice.
I want everything here to look business-like and functional.
Gee, ma, when did you learn them words?
We're gonna save the homely touches for the cell block.
Now, I wanna talk to that cook about the chow.
We serve the best food in the penal system.
Maybe so, warden, but from now on every night's gonna be
steak and potato night.
When we've got this place fully stocked real good
we're gonna start gettin' down to real business.
- Yeah! - Alright!
Why would a trustee put dynamite
in the Batmobile, Robin?
Certainly isn't someone you could trust.
The prison is full of social outcasts, Robin.
Some of them seeking revenge and one can hardly blame them.
Maybe one of the prisoners put 'em up to it..
Maybe even..
...Ma Parker.
What next, Batman?
We're heading back.
[instrumental music]
(Batman) 'Sorry to disturb you again, Warden.'
But I wanted to make sure everything was alright.
Why of course everything is alright.
Why shouldn't it be?
I note some changes in your office decor.
It seems a trifle drab.
It's, uh, just being renovated.
And someone almost renovated the Batmobile.
With dynamite.
'That's why we're worried.'
'Probably, an unfortunate mistake.'
Still, I can't help thinking that
Ma Parker had something to do with it.
Why, nonsense
I can show you that Ma Parker is safely put away.
Now, you see uh, snug as a bug, Batman.
(Batman) 'You're keeping Ma parker and her daughter'
'in the same cell block with her boys?'
Uh, yes, it-it is what I call my family plan, Batman.
It-it's my theory that the family that dorms together
reforms together.
Let's see the children.
[instrumental music]
Argh!
You see? Everything's fine, Batman.
Thank you, warden, everything look's A-Okay.
Alright, Robin, let's go.
Nice work, warden..
...one peep out of you and it would've been curtains
for Batman and Robin.
Oh, this is certainly a black day for Gotham City.
(Ma Parker) 'Alright, you, open these here doors now.'
Not that way, knuckle-head
these doors only open and close electrically
pull the master switch.
Now, boys!
You listen to me and you listen to me good.
It's taken me months to organize this here little party
and now we're in business!
[cheering]
We got everything we need right here.
But most of all, we got some of the top talent in the country.
Honest truth, boys.
Most of you were brought in by Batman.
And the Caped Crusader only deals
with the top echelon talent.
Meow!
What about the Penguin and the Joker?
They're still in solitary.
They can just cool off there till they find out
who's number one around here.
How do we make sure Batman won't spoil everything?
Don't you worry about Batman, Catwoman.
Batman and Robin, can't hurt us now, they can only help us.
Help us? How?
Because the Dynamic Duo won't bother with us.
We're already in prison.
That's right.
All they'll be doin' is roundin' up other criminals.
More talent for the Gotham State Pen gang.
Oh, that's beautiful. It's almost poetic.
The harder they work, the more they'll help us.
So I say, long live Batman and Robin!
(altogether) Hurray!
Gee, Batman, you really think there's something wrong with
the Crime Computer?
Something's wrong alright.
But I don't know whether it is the Crime Computer or me.
But everything worked out swell.
Wham! We got Pretty Boy, Machine gun, Mad Dog,
Zap! We got Legs and Ma Parker!
It was the easiest job we ever did.
That's just it, Robin.
It was too easy.
Commissioner Gordon said that Ma Parker was the most dangerous
'adversary we've ever faced.'
Yet she played right into our hands.
I have the strangest feeling..
...we've been duped.
[instrumental music]
- Big shipment today, Mickey? - Half a million dollars, cash.
Alright, you men, let's have that cash!
Our aim's bad enough, theirs is worse.
Four guns, they can't even hit this truck.
Alright, Tiger, get that bomb!
[explosion]
[computer pinging]
- What was that? - The seismograph.
Needle jumped.
You mean there's an earthquake in Gotham city?
It didn't register a blast of that intensity.
But it does mean there's been an explosion in the vicinity
of the Gotham City National Bank.
Back! Get back! Back!
Back, get back.
[tires screeching]
Batman.
What're we gonna do now, Ma?
I tell you what, let's buy them all!
- Huh? - Here!
(Ma Parker) 'Oh, get out of our way!'
(Batman) 'Citizens, citizens, please, let us through.'
Let us through.
This is a official business. Please, citizens, let me by.
They got away, Batman.
Yes, thanks to all that interference.
- Oh, I wonder who they were. - I don't know.
But the last one left us this souvenir.
It's just as I thought, Robin.
There's no doubt about it.
Just looks like a piece of ripped sleeve to me.
Ripped, prison cloth.
One of the criminals must be an escaped convict
from the Gotham State Penitentiary.
Holy jail break!
We haven't heard of an escaped prisoner, have we?
I suspect there are a number of things we haven't heard about.
Let's call Warden Crichton
and see if we can get some information.
I wish you'd let me go with you, Ma.
It's dull just bein' left behind in prison.
Legs, I don't think it's gonna be dull much longer.
[phone ringing]
Don't answer it.
Hand me that extension, Machine Gun.
(Warden) Hello.
This is Batman, Warden Crichton.
Do you know anything about an escaped prisoner?
Escaped prisoner?
It's that meddling Caped Crusader.
Go tell him to take a Bat-jump in Gotham Lake.
Warden Crichton, is there something wrong?
Yes, there's plenty wrong, Batman.
Ma Parker's taken over the prison
She and her boys--
[muffled groaning]
Warden Crichton!
There's trouble at the Penitentiary, Robin.
And Ma Parker must be behind it.
You think she's trying to break out of jail?
I don't know, but this is time for us to try to break in.
[theme music]
Stand clear.
(male #1) 'Hold it. Hold it'
There's easier ways of gettin' in here.
Like robbin' a bank.
We'd hoped our arrival would go unnoticed.
Yeah, well, I noticed it.
I guess, I'm gonna have to shoot ya, both of ya.
Instructions from Ma Parker?
Yeah, she left orders.
She said anyone can get out but no one can get in.
Sorry.
What a shame.
What do you mean?
Jeopardizing your entire future.
Jeopardizing?
Only 48 more years before your parole.
I never thought of that.
Forty eight more years and a I'm a free man.
A wise decision.
'You won't regret this, citizen.'
We've gotten this far, now what?
Try to cross the yard without being spotted.
(Kelly) 'You've been spotted, Batman.'
Hello, Kelly, nice to see you.
Warden Crichton tells me you're doing a fine job.
He does?
Well, welcome to the Pen.
Let's take 'em to Ma.
Here you are, Ma, a present.
Well, well, well, at last, Batman and Robin in my power.
Boys, I think the Dynamic Duo look hungry and tired.
Let's give them a good supper
and then find them a comfortable jail!
[everybody laughing]
[intense music]
You feelin' nice and comfy, Ol' Batman?
Very.
The dinner was excellent, my compliments to the chef.
And I do appreciate your not rushing us.
Well, I also have some time to kill.
Until, midnight, you mean?
You savvy, Batman.
But why midnight, Ma?
Why not right now?
Young Mad Dog, Gotham City will be sound asleep by midnight
and nobody will notice the extra drain on the power.
Mama always knows best!
'Be careful of those straps, fellas.'
They're connected to the electrical circuit.
Let's get goin', boys.
There's a couple of last minute odd demands I gotta attend to.
Legs, you stay here.
Even a girl ought to be able to watch those two now.
Holy rheostat! Look at the time.
(Batman) 'I know, Robin.'
"He who hath life, hath time."
A proverb worth remembering.
Legs?
What's a nice girl like you doing in a situation like this?
I'm as good as any boy, even if Ma doesn't think so.
It does seem a little unfair.
Girls are more sensitive..
...have more brain.
You can say that again.
And you weren't fooled for a minute, were you?
When ma left you here with us, even though we can't get away.
Wasn't I? I mean, did she? Well, why?
I have suspicion ,Legs, that..
...Ma and the boys
have something else..
'...cooking.'
Something they..
...maybe didn't want you to know about.
Well, they can't pull that one over on me.
- What's that all about? - A psychological experiment.
And it worked.
Now, if I can just break this wire and make contact
with the transistor I short waved Bat-transmitter
in my utility belt.
But that only connects to the receiver in the Bat-cave.
That's right, Robin.
If I can just send a signal to Alfred.
We don't have any power source.
The power is in this chair itself.
If I can just break this wire loose.
Now, to send a message in Bat-code.
[Morse code beeps]
(Alfred) 'Ahem, yes, ma'am?'
Alfred, I know Bruce's study is his private domain..
...but those sounds!
Um, he's having some work done on the wiring, ma'am.
A new television unit, I believe.
Oh..
Well, don't tell him I was curious, will you, Alfred?
[Morse code beeping]
Do you think you got through, Batman?
I don't know, Robin.
Oh, now look at the time.
It's almost midnight, Ma.
I know, Mad Dog. You let your mother handle this.
- Oh no, Ma, I wanna do it. - No, me!
[indistinct chatter]
Ma Parker!
I don't care about myself. But in the name of decency
I ask you to spare the life of Robin.
Very, very touching.
Something must have gone wrong with the electricity.
Yeah, I guess the power failed.
I can't see, Ma!
Alright, why don't you light a match?
- Here you are, Ma. - Batman's loose!
[theme music]
[instrumental music]
- Are you alright, Robin? - Never felt better, Batman.
I know there's an emergency generator switch here..
Yes, there it is.
Wow, these infra-red eyeglasses really work, Batman.
I could see perfectly in the dark.
Yes, they came in handy.
But I still don't understand what happened.
Simple, the message I gave to Alfred was to have Gotham City
Electric Company shut off the power at precisely midnight.
Holy Edison! You are a wiz, Batman.
But what about all the loose convicts out there?
Snug in there cells.
The doors open and close electrically.
When the power we shut off, they were locked in.
[instrumental music]
Well, Ma..
...I hope you've learned your lesson at last?
Oh, have pity, Batman, on a poor mother.
I didn't mean any harm.
I was just trying to make my children happy.
Look out, Batman!
Looking for this, Ma?
'I took the precaution of removing it'
from your hair during the fight.
You're very clever, Batman.
It isn't easy to foil the greatest mother of them all.
[instrumental music]
Once again, we're in your debt, Caped Crusaders.
Just doing our job, commissioner.
And with some reluctance.
Committing a mother and her four children to prison
is not a pleasant assignment.
Even Ma Parker.
Anyway, you better make sure she and her progeny
are safely tucked away.
For some time to come, Batman.
[clock chiming]
What's that, Warden?
No need for alarm, Batman.
It's merely the call to Sunday chapel service.
[knock on the door]
Excuse me, warden.
Yes, what is it, Riley?
This package just arrived for Ma Parker.
I thought you better see it first.
Careful, warden, you know her tricks.
Yes, it might be some more dynamite.
Let me see that, warden.
It was ordered on your telephone, Warden.
By her four children, when they had control of the prison.
Easy, Batman.
I don't think there's any danger, Robin.
Flowers, gentlemen.
Do you know what day this is?
- What day? - Mother's day.
[laughing]
Next week the Dynamic Duo meets the Clock King.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na-na na-na na-na na-na na ¶
¶ Batman