¶ Batman
[instrumental music]
(male narrator) A calm afternoon on the floor of
the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
And in boardrooms throughout the country.
But what's this?
This can't be happening. I'm wiped out.
I made a fortune today.
My only problem now is whether to buy
amalgamated or consolidated?
Cortland, you're president of the exchange.
- What do you make of this? - I don't know.
I've never seen anything like it before.
[instrumental music]
And while it's true, the stock exchange
has had some wild days in the past.
Never in its history has there been
anything comparable to this day.
It began shortly after 2 o'clock.
At that time..
Good afternoon, my friends.
[lute music]
Where did he come from?
Who is that?
¶ A helpful Minstrel I
¶ When I see folks in trouble
¶ Then I come on the double
¶ With counsel both soothing and wise ¶
Oh, isn't he attractive? So gentlemanly.
¶ For fare immune or ration
¶ I'll wipe the tears from your eyes ¶
- Is he talking to us? - Apparently.
This message is for members of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
'Gentlemen, salvation is available.'
The Minstrels Friendly Stock Brokers Protective Association
will guarantee you immunity from a repetition
of todays calamity.
How thoughtful.
I'm sure you'll agree the fee is reasonable
for the protection provided.
$1000 per week, per stock exchange member.
That's blackmail.
'Make your checks payable to account number 007'
and air mail them each week to the Broccoli Bank
in Geneva, Switzerland.
I'll expect notice of your agreement to this
in tomorrows Gotham City Times.
Let me emphasis that 100 percent participation is essential.
That's a quarter of a million dollars.
We'll fight him. Call the TV station.
TV station, nonsense. I'm calling Commissioner Gordon.
[dramatic music]
What're you gonna do, commissioner?
There's only one thing we can do.
[telephone ringing]
Commissioner Gordon.
Yes, indeed.
I have the same thought.
What.. Who was that?
That was Mr. Brook Cortland.
President of the Gotham City's Stock Exchange.
[dramatic music]
[Bat-phone beeping]
I shall alert him to your call, sir.
- It's the Bat-- - I suspected.
We were watching, Commissioner Gordon.
We'll be right there. To the Bat-poles.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[instrumental music]
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed.
Roger. Ready to move out.
[engine revving]
[music continues]
A minstrel who is also an electronic genius. Hmm.
- What a strange combination. - Not at all, commissioner.
Music an electronic energy, are both transmitted by waves.
Which obey almost identical laws of nature.
A logical pursuit for a musician with a twisted criminal mind.
Of course, Batman, you're right. I wouldn't have thought of that.
- Commissioner. - Oh, Mr. Cortland.
- Commissioner. - Batman, this is Mr. Cortland.
President of the Gotham City Stock Exchange.
Glad to know you, Batman. I think we have a mutual friend.
That upstanding philanthropist, Bruce Wayne.
Yes, I've heard him mention your name.
And of course Robin, the Boy Wonder.
- How'd you do? - How'd you do?
Mr. Cortland, what happened here this afternoon?
The quotations going out over the trans-lux
went completely wild.
Some high, some low.
But none right.
Orders started pouring in at the false prices
and it was.. Well, it was just disaster.
Hmm. Do all the quotations got out over a single transmitter?
- 'Yes.' - Hmm.
We better check that installation.
But who is this Minstrel? Where'd he come from?
And how did he get on the TV program?
The station has no explanation at all.
Apparently he simply overrode the signal from the studio
to the transmitter, with a stronger one.
I don't know anything about this man, but I intend
to know more about him before we're through.
Would you show us the transmission room
in the exchange building?
Of course. Could your secretary place a call for me?
Bonnie.
[instrumental music]
My name's Putnam, Batman. Something I can do for you?
- My name is Cortland. - I'm sorry, Mr. Cortland.
I didn't see you. Go right ahead, Batman.
The transmitter seems perfectly in order, Mr. Cortland.
It's been constant, every since the shut down.
Have your technicians checked the coding circuits?
- At all levels? - Yes.
However. I'd like to seem them for ourselves.
By all means. This way.
The circuits are in here.
Holy transistors build! What an installation.
(Robin) 'You see anything suspicious, Batman?'
- 'Hey look--' - 'No, Robin.'
(Batman) 'Everything seems to be perfectly in order.'
'No signs of tampering.'
I told you he wouldn't catch it, Octavia.
I guess, we'll just have to keep looking. Right, Batman?
Yes, Robin, we'll just have to keep looking.
He does have a warm attractive voice, doesn't he?
So what?
He's still a second rate genius.
You're just like all the woman, Octavia.
Taken in by his phony mystique and his warm attractive voice.
Don't complain.
I'm pretty taken in by your warm attractive voice too, you know.
Oh, well, that's better.
[laughing]
Thank you, Mr. Putnam.
You can return to your duties.
Some of these circuits definitely have been
tampered with, gentlemen.
And I wouldn't be surprised if he'd planted a microphone
in the installation too.
So he could listen in on anybody checking it.
- How devious and brilliant. - Exactly.
This Minstrel could present one of the most
deadly threats we've ever had to deal with, commissioner.
The devil you say?
How do you wish to proceed, Batman?
That depends on how he proceeds.
If he thinks no one's wise to him, he may be back.
And we'll be waiting for him.
Just tell me how many man you'll need, Batman.
None, the slightest suspicion that it's a trap..
...could scare him off.
Sure and it could at that.
Oh, that's thick in the head, that is.
As always Batman, we'll play it however you wish
but we can't help being concerned about you.
Commissioner Gordon, after Penguin.
- And Archer. - Clock King.
And King Tut and Catwoman.
And all our other artful adversaries.
I don't think we'll have too much
of a problem with this...Minstrel.
[instrumental music]
[music continues]
Dinner time, sir.
Oh, a peanut butter and watercress sandwich
and a glass of milk would have been sufficient, Alfred.
I know, sir, but I can't help worrying
about the two of you occasionally.
The long hours, the meals you often miss.
I hate to see this-this dual life you're both leading
taking its toll.
Robin and I still have a few good years left.
However, I do appreciate your concern.
Uh, we'll dine in a moment, Alfred.
First I'd like to get the kinks out of this bug.
- Kinks out of the bug, sir? - Hmm.
It's a bugging device with which we hope to trap
our latest adversary, Alfred.
Oh! Would that be The Minstrel, sir?
Yes, it is indeed, Alfred.
You've heard of him then?
All Gotham City has heard of him, sir.
He seems to have most of the women swooning
over his so called gentlemanly charm.
Most of the men in a state of panic.
Including if I may be allowed
the personal reference ...myself.
- You, Alfred? - In panic?
Well, I have managed to save a tidy little sum aside.
And made what I hope is a wise investments on the stock market.
You too, Alfred, wiped out by The Minstrel?
Uh, no, not exactly wiped out, Master Robin.
I did manage to go down to the stock exchange
this morning while you two are in town.
And it certainly is chaos.
Yes. Chaos.
Whatever do you suppose the rascal's up to, sir?
What he told all of Gotham City via his TV charming device.
Blackmail or calamity.
But we intend to prevent both.
And how do you intend to...to trap the culprit?
If I may be so inquisitive, sir.
I suspect he planted a microphone in
the transmissions room of the stock exchange building
and tonight he'll be back to check on it.
'So, we fight fire with fire.'
We plant a microphone and we check on it.
There's one thing that worries me, Batman.
Getting back into that building without being noticed.
I'm sure that can be handled.
[dramatic music]
- 'Yes, Batman.' - Commissioner.
Could you arrange with Mr. Cortland
for Robin and me to return to the corridor
outside that transmission room tonight?
I'm sure he'll cooperate, Batman
And perhaps find us an isolated office for a short time.
You mean a temporary hideout?
I can't go into details, commissioner.
I'm sure you understand.
I'll contact Mr. Cortland at once, Batman.
But let me repeat though please, please be careful.
Who knows what devious tricks
this evil balladeer may be up to.
You have my assurance.
[instrumental music]
[whistling]
A wandering Minstrel.
- He sang the same tune on TV. - Right, Robin.
- Think it could be a signal? - Yes, it could, old chum.
Let's take a look. Easy now.
[whistling continues]
Oh! Oh!
Do you always sneak up on people like that?
No.
That's okay. You're here kinda early, aren't you?
So. You were expecting us?
Are you kidding.
They told me to expect a new replacement.
I just didn't know there'd be two of ya.
Anyhow you got here.
Glad you wore your old cloths. This job is a mess.
[instrumental music]
Good evening, gentlemen.
[crackling]
[laughing]
Holy rainbow!
I'm blinded.
[laughing]
Ah! An ingenious devise.
[music continues]
¶ Goodnight Batman
¶ Goodnight Robin
¶ Goodnight Batman
¶ I'm going to leave you now
I don't understand.
How could he have gotten away?
Commissioner, we were half blinded
by Minstrel's electronic flashes.
Ah-ha! Ah!
Apparently we interrupted him, before he could remove
the last of these.
You mean that tiny thing caused all the trouble?
Yes. And there was one for each number circuit of course.
What is it?
A heterodyning counter oscillator would be my guess.
And a marvel of miniaturization.
Hmm, to confuse the frequency.
So that each number comes out anything but right.
Commissioner, all Gotham City is in danger
'while this musical criminal is at large.'
He exhibits a degree of electronic sophistication
far beyond anyone in the world today.
He exhibits a degree of electronic sophistication
far beyond that of anyone else in this world today.
Except me, of course.
If as I suspect he spotted the counter oscillator by now.
He knows the place was bugged.
He's smarter than you thought he was, hmm?
You're absolutely right, my dear.
He must be eliminated after all.
We can count on him to come to us.
All we have to do is be certain we're ready.
Oh! How do you mean you can count on him?
He's waiting for me to go on the air again.
So we can use our signal to lead him to us.
So we'll work from the studio not here.
- See that's it's ready, Treble. - But how can he use our signal?
Unless he's a bird.
The beam's so narrow he can't even pick it up on the ground.
He'll work it out someway, you can bet on that.
[instrumental music]
Fascinating bird, sir. What is it?
It's a Bat-drone plane, Alfred.
We can direct it from here by remote control.
Direct it?
Yes, if The Minstrel goes on the air again.
And I suspect he will, if only to taunt me.
I think this bird should pick up his wave length.
And locate his broadcasting studio.
There we are.
Robin, let's test the drone.
[instrumental music]
That could be the studio signal.
[beeping]
Raise the level.
[beeping]
That's it. Perfect.
The Minstrel maybe in for a surprise.
I believe you're right, sir.
Here comes the brazen fellow.
(The Minstrel) I have offered the brokers a fair way out.
But as yet they haven't excepted that plan.
Instead as they're driven to mistrust and doubt.
They've turned for help to Robin and Batman.
The audacity of it.
Getting anything.
The Bat-drone's changed course.
It's picked up the studio signal alright.
(The Minstrel) 'But I foiled the dauntless duo before.'
With nothing more startling than a spark and a flash.
And though violence...is something I strongly abhor.
I warn them that next time they'll land with a crash.
- It's descending, Batman. - At what angle?
Eleven degrees four minutes.
We'll actually put the plane down somewhere
over Gotham Park Lake.
The intersection of Willow and 4th street.
There's nothing there, Batman.
Except the old Willow Street warehouse.
That must be it.
It's been a long night and it's gonna be a big day.
Let's get going.
Alfred, bring the plane back.
- Me, sir? - Yes.
Throw the Bat-drone retriever switch.
But..
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
[whirring]
Oh!
[music continues]
We can be expecting the cape crusaders any minute now.
This early, boss?
You can bet they picked the signal, are own their way
If we just be sure we're ready.
Cameras all set, Treble?
I just love suspense like this.
But it's too bad the suspense will soon be over, Octavia.
[music continues]
Look. No door knobs.
I know. This must be the place.
And the broadcasting studio's probably on the top floors.
Stand clear. Up we go.
[instrumental music]
Alright, men, alert the boys in the storeroom
and put plan low C into action.
What a pity, Robin.
For the man of his musical talents
he could bring such pleasure to millions of people
should revert that genius to criminal anti-social ends.
Especially when he could earn a good living from just records.
Look. That open window, shall we try it?
Yes, Robin, an opportunity well taken
is always a weapon of advantage.
Be careful, it may be a trap.
[instrumental music]
It is a trap.
[peppy music]
Pow! Wham! Look at the dynamic duo.
They are efficient, aren't they?
Do you think they'll win, Minstrel?
[music continues]
Wait.
[instrumental music]
(Robin) 'Holy flytrap!'
[dramatic music]
You're making a mistake, Minstrel.
With your genius you could be a tremendous force
for good in the world. Why waste it?
I was regretting the necessity of doing away with you, Batman.
A kindred genius you know.
But if there's anything I can't abide is a reformer.
Activate the turns pit motor.
Motor activated.
[instrumental music]
In just a few minutes, gentlemen.
We'll be prepared to serve barbecued crusader.
If we have a call for it.
You see we've installed just beneath you
supper units of a radar type grill.
As you revolve it can turn you from rare, to medium
to well done.
Depending on the preference.
Throw the switch.
Switch is set.
[music continues]
Holy hot spot, Batman. What can we do?
Nothing, Boy Wonder. Nothing but cook.
[music continues]
Are you sure this is a good idea, Minstrel?
Good? It's perfect.
Besides, my dear, there's no alternative.
It's Batman, or The Minstrel.
The world isn't ready for both of us yet.
[laughing]
[sighs]
¶ Batman and Robin rotate and revolve ¶
¶ As the heat grows your bodies dissolve ¶
¶ When it's still hotter then you will melt ¶
¶ Nothing left but your utility belt ¶
[music continues]
Is this it, Batman? Is this the end?
If it is, Robin..
..let's...not lose our dignity.
Can this be true?
Is the melodic fiend finally cooking the duo's goose?
Check the thermometer on your radar grill.
Be here tomorrow.
Same hot time.
Same hot channel.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na
¶ Batman