¶ Batman
Gotham City. Metropolis of wonders.
Architectural queen of the world.
A new jewel is about to be added to her crown.
Distinguished guests, ladies and gentlemen.
The mightiest bridge in the world
'becomes a part of our city.'
[applause]
I hereby dedicate this engineering triumph
the Amerigo Columbus bridge.
[applause]
'And in Wayne Manor'
'stately home of millionaire Bruce Wayne'
'and his youthful ward, Dick Grayson..'
Bruce, quick. Come here and look.
'What is it, Dick?'
In the crowd there. I just saw the Bookworm.
- Are you sure? - How can I mistake him?
Those crazy clothes that look like rare old book bindings.
And I'm pretty sure he had on his trick eye-glasses, too.
The ones with the secret radio stuff built in.
Strange. What would a crook like the Bookworm
be doing at the dedication of a bridge?
Let's watch. Maybe he'll show his nasty nose again.
[dramatic music]
Bookworm to Printer's Devil.
'Bookworm to Printer's Devil.'
Start chapter one.
'Devil to Bookworm. Got you boss.'
[gunshot]
Holy homicide.
- 'Tell me it's a nightmare.' - 'Steady, Dick.'
It happened, all right.
Commissioner Gordon killed.
This is one time we don't wait for the Bat-phone.
Oh, my dears, my dears.
I was watching in the music room. Did you see it, too?
We did indeed, Aunt Harriet.
I just hope they were watching the television.
'They?'
Batman and Robin.
'Who else can save us now?'
Don't worry, Aunt Harriet.
I guess there's not much those two miss.
Come on, Dick, let's drive into the city
and pay our respects to a late, great man.
Right, Bruce.
It's the least we can do.
[sobbing]
I solemnly swear by my oath as a crime fighter
that this outrage will not go unavenged.
To the Bat-poles.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
[theme music]
[music continues]
'Look, what'd I tell you?'
Yes, it's the Bookworm, alright.
Why, you pasty faced devil.
If I could only get me mitts around your neck
I'd strung ya. You--
Pull yourself together, Chief O'Hara.
The mere fact that he was at the scene
is no proof of guilt.
Outrage.
Worst insult I've ever suffered in my whole life.
Miss Williams, please. What are you up to?
Gentlemen, back to your departments.
Saints alive.
Holy reincarnation.
You...weren't at the ceremony
at the new bridge, commissioner?
I was not.
Thanks to a monumentally stupid police officer
who gave me a ticket as I left my luncheon.
Me! Arrested for overtime parking!
[laughing]
'Chief O'Hara.'
Are you anxious to be transferred
to the department of sanitation?
No, sir.
May I see that ticket, commissioner?
"Badge number 18-8-7."
"Signed by, A.S. Scarlet."
Wait.
There is no badge 18-8-7 on the force.
Of course not.
A.S. Scarlet stands for "A study in scarlet."
A Sherlock Holmes adventure novel first published in 1887.
What a typical, twisted, Bookworm joke.
Bookworm?
Say, what ...what is all this?
Why are you here, Batman?
To investigate your murder, my friend.
- What? - 'At the bridge, this morning.'
There was an imposter made to look like you.
He was apparently murdered by a rifle bullet
and fell into the river.
Good grief.
Then, that so called policeman who pinched me--
Another phony.
Right, Robin.
A mere illusion of death, commissioner.
Performed by an expert high diver in Bookworm's pay.
But why? What on earth was the point of that charade?
I don't know. It could have been--
[transmitter buzzing]
The bomb detector of the Batmobile. It's flashing red.
Quick, hit the radio control ejector button.
[popping]
[explosion]
Holy explosion.
'Printer's Devil to Bookworm headquarters.'
'Devil to Bookworm.'
I read you, Printer's Devil.
'Plot A, washout.'
'He got rid of the bomb'
'with a tricky ejector.'
What about plot B?
I don't know, Bookworm.
It's still up in the air. It--
Ah, there it comes now.
What condition is it in? Is my plot B legible?
Perfectly.
And here come the bat-eared boobs, too.
Return to headquarters.
I read you, over and out.
Batman, look.
Strange.
A scorched, powder-burnt, book cover.
Seems to be made of asbestos.
Excuse me, sir.
Did you see where this came from?
Out of the sky, Batman. Just after that explosion.
Typical of the Bookworm to place his lethal weapon inside a book.
Bookworm?
Sorry, citizen. Police business.
You'd better move along.
Good luck, Batman.
Thank you.
You could still read the cover.
"For whom the bell tolls, by Ernest Hemingway."
It's the grimmest warning we've ever had.
Warning?
Hemingway's title.
It's from a poem by John Donne.
"Do not ask for whom the bell tolls."
"It tolls for thee."
Phew. No clues here, Batman.
No secret writing.
It's just what it looks like.
A perfectly ordinary asbestos book cover.
Darn it all. I'm still positive there's some reason
why he chose this particular book.
Maybe it was the only one of right size.
No, Robin, no. You see, I know how this fiend's mind works.
He prepares every super-crime
like the frustrated novelist he is.
Every page, every chapter is an integral part
of one stolen plot.
Even that charade at the bridge this morning..
Great heavens. Of course. The bridge.
What, Batman?
In "For whom the bell tolls"
the hero's mission is to blow up a bridge.
Holy detonator. Let's go.
What is a super-crime, boss?
Silence. Back to your books. You'll be told in good time.
Oh, you're some clever worm, Bookworm.
Oh, oh. It's books, my sweet lady.
Books, books. That's the secret of my success.
Books.
Oh, I read them all.
I inherit the wisdom of the ages.
Every plot ever devised is here.
Inside my head.
Oh, Bookworm.
With a mind like yours
I wonder why you don't write your own bestseller.
Shut up!
Oh, don't you dare say that to me.
You-you're taunting me, aren't you?
- No, Bookworm. - Yes, yes, you are taunting me.
And why?
Why? Because I have no originality, that's why.
Why? Because I am only the master of stolen plots.
Well.
Well, this...this will teach you a lesson.
[instrumental music]
Hmm.
[laughing]
Psst.
What is he doing?
With his fantastic mind
he will read that entire book in a matter of seconds.
Now.
What was I saying before I was interrupted?
Oh.
Dear me.
What feeble memories you have.
Heh.
However..
...shades of Shakespeare.
Night has fallen.
It is time for us to put a little twist into our plot.
Follow me.
There's one thing I don't dig, Batman.
Why does Bookworm wanna blow up the new bridge?
What's he getting out of it?
Perhaps nothing but twisted revenge.
Revenge against a well regulated society with..
Look.
On that cloud.
'Wow. The Bat-signal.'
[phone buzzing]
Batmobile here.
Thank heavens, Boy Wonder.
A strange occurrence has just been reported.
'Where and what?'
Back to that huge old warehouse on Harbor Avenue.
It involves a bridge.
Say no more, commissioner. We're on our way.
Old warehouse, Harbor Avenue.
Hold tight. Emergency Bat-turn.
Robin, alert parachute pickup.
Parachute pickup.
Holy magic lantern.
And a minced picture of the new bridge.
Yes, he's blown it up all right.
That photograph of the bridge. It's hugely enlarged.
Blown up, in photographer's lingo.
Gosh. What a tricky play on words.
- What's Bookworm's game? - I don't know, Robin.
The first thing is to find out
where that hidden photo projector is.
Let's climb the wall and get a bird's eye view.
No. Wall's too high to use the Bat-ropes.
Let's use the Bat-zooka.
'Pressman to Bookworm.
They're getting ready to climb the wall.'
Bookworm to Pressman.
Return to Bookmobile.
Fire.
- Holy bullseye. - Let's go.
I have the curious feeling this all some kind of literary plot.
Let's outwit him, Batman.
Let's refuse to bite.
We must, Robin. It's the--
Are you Batman? Oh, you must be.
'Cause that's Robin. Hi, Robin.
'Yes, citizen, but don't be alarmed.'
'We're here on official business.'
Holy human flies.
This ought to be high enough.
Look. Down there, in that other alley.
Careful, Robin. Both hands on the Bat-rope.
- Sorry, Batman. - You're right, though.
The source of this giant projected blow-up
seems to be coming from the roof of that parked van.
Reverse Bat-climb.
Odd.
An abandoned Bookmobile.
Could it really be one from the Gotham City Public Library?
I doubt it. Not with that photo projector built into the roof.
'I doubt whether it's entirely abandoned, either.'
You're right, Batman. There must be someone inside
to tend the projector.
Let's give the worm a turn.
We'll use the ultrasonic Bat-ray.
Bookmobile right in the sights, Batman.
How many decibels will we give 'em?
12000 DB's ought to be sufficient.
12000 decibels. Here we go.
[loud beeping]
- That's flushed them out. - 'Six of them, two of us.
Odd's in our favor.
Hiro Jiwa's "Art of the attack."
Page 14, chapter 6, paragraph 2.
Into action.
Your glasses.
Remember, never hit a man with glasses.
Shakespeare, once more unto the breach.
'Machiavelli's.'
8. 3. 9. 6. Retreat.
The cowardly worms. Where are they going?
Where worms always go.
Down into the earth.
They've wiggled through that secret trap door.
Doubtless, they had it all prepared.
But why, Batman?
Why lure us here and then run?
Good question, Robin.
One that's baffled us
from the very beginning of this case. Why?
Perhaps there's a clue to be found on that Bookmobile.
[muffled voice]
Holy Cinderella.
A beautiful prisoner.
Just like a fairy tale.
Let's free her.
No.
Wait a minute, Robin.
Criminals have tried this trick before.
- Trick? - Shh. Shh.
The girl.
Could be one of Bookworm's gang
disguised as a prisoner to give us false information.
Gosh, Batman. Those look like honest eyes.
Huh.
Never trust the old chestnut
that crooks have beady little eyes.
It's false.
I say we subject her to the most rigid test.
You mean, the Bat-cave?
Precisely.
[moaning]
I regret this
but it's a precaution I must take.
I'm going to put you to sleep for a little while.
I give you my word there will be no harmful after-effects.
What...is your name?
Lydia Lympet.
'Do you know where you are?'
Of course.
I'm in the back of Bookworm's Bookmobile.
It rings true, Batman.
She doesn't even realize she's in the Bat-cave.
Get set for the big one.
What is Bookworm's plot?
I don't know.
He hasn't confided it to us.
Darn it all. Another true answer.
I only know he can't pull it off
till Batman and Robin have perished.
Turn that machine off.
What are we gonna do, Batman?
Only one thing we can do.
And quickly, before that Bat-gas wears off.
She's waking up.
Batman?
Oh, thank heavens, you've rescued me
from that slimy fiend, the Bookworm.
Any idea what his plot is, ma'am?
Oh, yes. I overheard it all.
He plans to strike at midnight.
Where, ma'am?
It's just awful.
You know that perfect replica of Independence Hall?
'The one built for the exposition?'
Well, he plans to steal the priceless documents there.
The original..
...United States..
...Declaration of Independence.
This poor girl's had a very bad time.
We better call an ambulance on the mobile Bat-phone.
Batman, Robin, please don't leave me!
- Another trap, of course. - You could say that again.
Another trap, and I intend to walk right into it.
What?
It's the only way, Robin.
We know The Bookworm's waiting there.
With his shotgun loaded for bats.
True. But he doesn't know that I know.
You stay here and guard that crooked girl.
I'll call Chief O'Hara en route
and have him send reinforcements.
Ambulance on the way, ma'am.
Won't be long, Miss Limpet.
While we wait..
...why don't you untie me, hmm?
I don't know if I should.
I mean, you might be injured, Miss Limpet.
Better not move until trained personnel arrives.
Well, then, how about reading me a book?
Say that fourth one on the end of the shelf.
Sure thing, Miss Limpet.
- This one? - No, no, no, the next one.
"Complete English history?"
This kind of stuff always puts me to sleep.
[coughs]
Limpet to Bookworm, urgent.
'Do you read me? Am I legible?'
'Repeat. Am I legible?'
Ahem, I read you.
Warning. Batman knows it's a trap.
Uh, how could he?
I don't know. But get this. The Boy Wonder knows my name.
He's been calling me Miss limpet.
'They must've tumbled somehow.'
Uh, look, do you still have Boy Wonder?
Oh, yes.
He got a whiff of your sleepy-bye book
"English history."
Stay right there. I'll be right over to pick you up.
'Over and out.'
(male narrator) A strange destination for a dreadful fate.
The Wayne Memorial clock tower.
Presented to Gotham City
in memory of Bruce Wayne's father.
(The Bookworm) 'Time. Time.'
'Which delivers us all to the worms in the end.'
[speaking in foreign language]
What time is it?
Oh. One minute to midnight, Bookworm.
Ah!
Sixty tiny seconds. Oh, farewell, Boy Wonder.
'Adieu, Robin. Oh, this is the last time you will meddle'
'in affairs of moment.'
Oh, I tried to warn you.
"Do not ask for whom this bell tolls.
It tolls for thee."
[popping]
[dramatic music]
Holy headache!
Holy midnight!
The first minute of the new day.
The everlasting end for Robin.
Stick merciful cotton in your ears.
The death-knell sounds tomorrow.
Same Bat-time.
Same Bat-channel.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na na
¶ Batman