¶ Batman
[dramatic music]
(male narrator) So far we have seen a giant sphinx
a strange and terrible threat to Gotham City.
Batman and Robin on the job.
While a criminal king and his entourage
hatch a fiendish plan.
The dynamic duo tackle the sinister sphinx.
A close shave.
Signals from Nefertiti.
King Tut's curse.
The dynamic duo on Nefertiti's trail.
[dramatic music]
A tricky asp.
A king-size mummy come alive.
A royal trap snap shut.
Bruce in a blanket..
...and another dish.
A proclamation..
...and an exclamation.
Batman to the rescue.
A daring escape.
And a runaway stretcher.
Great Scott, Bruce!
[dramatic music]
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman
[dramatic music]
[music continues]
Meanwhile, in the secret palace of King Tut
on the outskirts of Gotham City
the evil geniuses are all unaware
that their victim has escaped.
[tires screeching]
Hey, what's the big idea?
I wish to peruse the news.
There should be something about the Bruce Wayne kidnapping.
Ladies and gentlemen, with Gotham City still reeling
from the great sphinx mystery, another shocking blow
has landed when Mr. Bruce Wayne, philanthropist and millionaire
of our town was kidnapped in broad daylight.
You know all that. Switch back to the sports.
For the latest development in this fast-moving story
we switch to mobile unit five
station at Gotham City Police Headquarters.
Come in, Commissioner Gordon.
For the latest word on the Bruce Wayne kidnapping
I'm proud to present my never-failing aid in the war
against crime...the one and only, Batman.
Thank you, commissioner.
First I'd like to assure Mr. Bruce Wayne's
many friends and associates that he is unharmed
'and will soon be returned home.'
What?
Batman!
He turns me on.
Nefertiti, we could have you filleted for that.
But he's so handsome
and clean-cut, and groovy.
We forbid you to speak well of our deadliest enemy.
Astonishing news, Batman, but how do you know all this?
Because I myself rescued Mr. Wayne
'not more than 10 minutes ago.'
That's a trick. You're lying, Batman.
Where are my ministers?
What's happened to those ninnies?
[grunting]
(Gordon) 'Uh, in your expert opinion, Batman'
'what's behind all these mysterious occurrences?'
In my expert opinion, commissioner
we're seeing the dust of centuries blown away
with a monstrous revival of a strange and ancient cult.
- It's unearthly. - Perhaps.
I'll know more, after I've dwelled into the secret archives
of the antiquarian library in Alexandria.
Alexandria?
Oh, you mean the delightful suburb of Washington D.C.
No, commissioner. Alexandria, Egypt.
'That ancient metropolis at the mouth of the River Nile.'
(Gordon) You're leaving for Egypt?
(Batman) 'By the first available jet.'
'I have vital researches to perform.'
But, great Scott, Batman.
What will become of us during your absence?
Who will block the criminal schemes of this madman
who calls himself King Tut?
(Batman) 'I pass the Egyptian ball to you, commissioner. In my..'
He called me a madman, does he?
We'll let's face it, Tut Tut.
Face what, sweet, lovely Nefertiti?
In the old days when you were professor at Yale
before you got conked on the head in that student riot--
[screaming]
[blows trumpet]
Royal torturers, servants of the fierce
Jackal God of Anubis.
To my bidding..
She's my subversive queen.
To the dungeons with her!
[dramatic music]
No! No!
No!
Mad am I?
Well, you'll see
while Batman is bouncing around in belfries in far off Egypt.
I'll do what I set out to do before.
I've got Bruce Wayne!
[tires screeching]
[dramatic music]
Holy travel agent, Batman!
- Are you really going to Egypt? - Of course not, Robin.
It's merely a clever strategem I've worked out.
I have a hunch King Tut will make another effort
to kidnap Bruce Wayne.
I get it, and we'll foil 'em, huh?
On the contrary, I wish him to succeed.
What? You're gonna let yourself be kidnapped?
Yes, Robin. Yes and no.
Before today's dark deeds unfold
I want Aunt Harriet safely out of the way.
Get on the phone. Call the house upstairs.
[dramatic music]
Goodbye, Alfred.
Now be sure Dick gets his warm milk before retiring, won't you?
You may rest assured of it, madam.
Just imagine, Alfred, a weekend in the country.
Oh, it's going to be such a delightful change!
Well, I better run, so the taxi man won't grow impatient.
[dramatic music]
Gosh, Batman! That sure a lifelike dummy of Bruce Wayne.
Hmm. It should serve the purpose.
Deception and double deception.
The only way to deal with a super criminal like Tut.
Alfred?
Oh, Alfred, have you seen the novel
I've been reading anywhere?
I.. Well, no, madam, I-I..
Oh, of course, I left it on the table.. Or the sofa.
Mrs. Cooper, shh.
Oh.
[instrumental music/ comical]
Sweet dreams, Bruce dear.
[music continues]
Phew!
Holy, taxidermy. That dummy sure passed the test.
(Batman) 'Indeed, Robin. Cum laude.'
It's time to get set, Robin.
It's almost oda wadda simba.
- Almost what? - Oda wadda simba.
6 o'clock in our nomenclature.
In the 14th Dynasty
the Hour of the Hyena.
The time when ancient Egyptian
super criminals invariably struck.
Gosh, Batman, is there anything you don't know?
Hmm. Oh yes, Robin. Several things in fact.
All prepared, sir.
[doorbell dings]
Now the hyenas are at the gate.
Who knows what form they'll take, Alfred.
[dramatic music]
Can I help you?
Sure you can. I've been sent over by the chief
to watch over Mr. Wayne.
In case those devilish kidnappers
should try to strike again.
Ah, yes. A wise precaution, officer.
If you'll follow me.
[dramatic music]
As you observe, the master's enjoying a moment's respite
bit from the day's cares.
'Would the real almighty enjoy such fortune?'
Don't worry, buster, it can be arranged.
[dramatic music]
Extraordinary how that anti gas pill works.
Shh. No one talk now.
[music continues]
Quick! Take him to the royal barque.
[music continues]
Wow! Worked like a charm.
Batman, figured every move they make.
I never doubted, but he would, Master Robin. What now?
We track 'em on the bat-scanner to their criminal hideout.
Quick, Alfred! You go to the service elevator.
I'll meet you in the Bat-cave.
Roger.
[dramatic music]
[sighs]
[telephone beeping]
'Commissioner, this is Robin.'
Y-Yes, Boy Wonder.
A-Okay, commissioner. They've got Bruce Wayne.
Only it's really Batman, right?
'Right.'
Heartwarming indeed, Boy Wonder,
the way a distinguished millionaire like Bruce Wayne
cooperates in the fight against crime.
Not all millionaires would be so self-sacrificing.
I'll tell him you said so, commissioner.
In the meantime standby with your full force.
You're tracking the criminals, are you?
Signals from the tiny homing transmitter in Batman's collar
are coming in perfectly.
I'll call you back when I learn about King Tut's hideout.
Bless you, Boy Wonder. Chief O'Hara and I
will stay by the Bat-phone.
Look at them, Alfred. Tracking perfectly.
[chuckles] Those poor demented felons.
How little did they want? But they have a tiger by the tail.
[dramatic music]
- Peculiar. - What?
"Message of Anubis interprets itself as follows.
"What seems is not, inside its bonds
"the leopard has changed its spots."
[dramatic music]
- [indistinct] - Yeah.
But then on the other hand..
...there's no extra charge for making sure.
[dramatic music]
[music intensifies]
[intense music]
(Robin) 'Oh, glip! Cold as a cucumber.'
Could it be a defect in the receiver, Master Robin?
Quick! Activate the emergency backup receivers.
Roger.
[dramatic music]
Emergency system at full gain.
Holy high-flying! Something's gone wrong.
Tick tock.
Enjoying yourself, Batman?
The dreaded ancient Theban pebble torture.
- You pitiable madman. - Tick tock.
Chief torturer, what's the pebble count
on my faithless ex-queen?
(male #1) '901, Oh Great Pharaoh!'
901? Good.
Less than 100 to go
and then she'll smash herself to pieces
trying to tear herself out of a jar.
In the name of mercy, think back to the days
'when you were a distinguished professor at Yale University.'
Give yourself up.
I vow that you'll receive the finest medical attention.
Chief torturer, hold.
What's the pebble count on Batman?
(male #1) '297, Oh Great Pharaoh!'
Speed it up.
Alfred, if we ever had need of our brain power it's now.
Here are the last four fixes we've got.
The problem is to extrapolate them.
Project them to the criminal's putative destination.
Correct, and if we extend their azimuth like this
correcting from one way--
How peculiar. It leads us to this vacant area
that coordinates 47 to 61.
Wait a minute!
[dramatic music]
Coordinates 47 to 61.
Holy foxtrot!
The Egyptian palace from last year's Gotham City exposition.
[telephone beeping]
Robin speaking.
(Gordon) 'We've just had a message.'
King Tut is holding Batman is his secret hideout.
He will exchange him for $1 million in cash.
To be delivered personally by Bruce Wayne.
You think it's on the level, commissioner?
I do. But unfortunately I can't get a hold of Bruce Wayne.
There's no answer at his stately mansion.
Don't worry. I'm on my way to find him right this second.
Goodbye, commissioner.
Are you sure that was prudent, Master Robin?
What, Alfred?
Well, they're pretty certain of the whereabouts
of King Tut's hideout.
Should we not have informed the police and requested their aid?
I didn't dare chance it. They're great guys, Alfred
but they can be heavy-handed too
and when those fiends have Batman..
I follow your thinking.
The rude intrusion of the police might have provoked
the criminals to some unhappy act of violence.
Right, Alfred. This one we've gotta pull ourselves.
- To the Batmobile. - To the..
...Batmobile? But you don't have
a license to drive, Master Robin.
But you do.
[dramatic music]
¶ Twinkle twinkle little bat
¶ How I wonder what you're at ¶
[both laughing]
Chief torturer, what's the latest pebble count?
(male #1) 'Coming down now, Oh Mighty Pharaoh.'
'...number 1000.'
Bring them to my throne room.
[dramatic music]
Let it be a warning, loyal subjects.
Our enemies shall be reduced
even as these to mindless slaves.
Smash open their cases.
Dance, you slaves.
Dance for our amusement!
Music. Bat-music.
[jazz music]
[laughing]
[music continues]
Take him.
Thought you unhinge, did you?
I fooled you. I kept my reason by reciting
the multiplication tables backwards.
[music continues]
Hold on, Batman. I'm with you.
[music continues]
[grunts]
[music continues]
Where is King Tut?
Looks like he's gone, Batman.
We'd better net him fast.
The Batmobile, it's gone!
Alfred, old fella, are you alright?
Most remissive me, sir.
I let that ruffian overpower me.
Only one thing to do.
Pursue him in this curious royal barque.
[dramatic music]
[engine revving]
[tires screeching]
Visual contact established.
.
If he cuts into superpower afterburner we'll never keep up.
[dramatic music]
[tires screeching]
Holy smoke! What'll we do now, Batman?
Quick, hand me your tiny utility belt transmitter.
Mine is disabled.
I get it. You're gonna try to remote control Batmobile circuit
via the Bat-cave relay link.
Right, Robin, it's our only chance.
Batman to Bat-cave.
'Voice control Batmobile relay circuit switch on.'
[beeping]
Batmobile ejection seat. Fire.
[beeping]
[radio signal fails]
What the heck! The failure signal.
Circuits on the blink, I'm afraid.
How can it be?
Human mechanisms are made by human hands, Robin.
None of them is infallible.
It's a lesson which must be faced.
[dramatic music]
- Hey, look! - 'He's coming back at us.'
[tires screeching]
[music continues]
What the heck!
Look out, he's found the Bat-beam.
[music continues]
Farewell.
We rid Thebes forever of its rodents.
[laughing]
[explosion]
Holy sky rocket!
He hit the Bat-beam button and the ejector seat went off.
[dramatic music]
[grunts]
[intense music]
Well hit, sir.
Gosh! And to think he was once a famous professor
in Yale University.
That's life, Robin. Full of ups and downs.
It'll be if it's any of us to grow too confident.
[dramatic music]
A tragic case, Batman.
One of the saddest which has ever crossed my ken.
- There maybe hope for him yet. - But how?
With proper treatment.
Mental institutions are hopelessly overcrowded.
The taxpayers are blind to our pleas.
What about the Wayne Foundation?
Gosh, yes! It's a great idea, Batman.
But do you think Mr. Wayne'll go for it
after being kidnapped by this devil?
Chief O'Hara, I understand that Mr. Bruce Wayne is a man of
great understanding and compassion.
I'll phone Bruce Wayne instantly and ask him to come over here.
- Watch out. - Argh!
He's wakin' up.
I-I must..
Young gentlemen rioting is not going..
Be careful. Ooh!
Ohh!
What an amazing dream.
- I must be late for class. - Late for class?
Yes. Egyptology..
[dramatic music]
Oh...my..
What is this?
A miracle, professor.
Simply a miracle.
Oh..
Oh, whatever will the dean say?
[dramatic music]
Next week the dynamic duo versus The Bookworm.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
[music continues]
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman