1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,168
¶ Batman
2
00:00:05,703 --> 00:00:11,340
(male narrator)
Gotham City,
Woodrow Roosevelt High School.
3
00:00:14,544 --> 00:00:15,677
3:09 p.m.
4
00:00:15,679 --> 00:00:22,450
Normal healthy activity
in the school gymnasium.
5
00:00:34,796 --> 00:00:37,464
- You got it memorized?
- I think so.
6
00:00:37,466 --> 00:00:39,632
Okay, let's go.
7
00:00:41,134 --> 00:00:42,067
And.
8
00:00:42,069 --> 00:00:44,035
¶ Zing! Boom!
9
00:00:44,037 --> 00:00:45,703
¶ Sis boom bah
10
00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:47,705
¶ We're from Woodrow Roosevelt
11
00:00:47,707 --> 00:00:49,373
¶ That's who we are
12
00:00:49,375 --> 00:00:51,074
¶ Does anybody scare us?
13
00:00:51,076 --> 00:00:53,309
¶ The answer is nix
14
00:00:53,311 --> 00:00:57,646
¶ Come on team
let's make it six ¶
15
00:00:57,648 --> 00:00:58,680
Yeah!
16
00:00:58,682 --> 00:01:00,448
[cheering]
17
00:01:01,783 --> 00:01:02,582
Okay.
18
00:01:02,584 --> 00:01:05,251
Gosh, Susie, terrific!
Did you write it yourself?
19
00:01:05,253 --> 00:01:08,254
Oh, heck no. Miss Browning,
our poetry professor.
20
00:01:08,256 --> 00:01:11,790
Let's take a break, gang.
Anyone for a drink?
21
00:01:11,792 --> 00:01:13,491
Me.
22
00:01:18,096 --> 00:01:19,830
[coin clatters]
23
00:01:20,598 --> 00:01:22,632
[coin jingling]
24
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:27,369
Holy cow! Look.
25
00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:28,670
Silver dollars.
26
00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,705
Let me try.
27
00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:35,309
[coin jingling]
28
00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:40,213
Hey, kids, everyone.
Come one. It's Christmas.
29
00:01:40,215 --> 00:01:41,113
Look.
30
00:01:41,115 --> 00:01:43,415
[indistinct chatter]
31
00:01:47,686 --> 00:01:49,353
Silver dollars.
32
00:01:49,355 --> 00:01:54,291
A strange disturbing bonanza
from a gimmick milk machine.
33
00:01:54,293 --> 00:01:57,761
Either of you men fear
what I fear?
34
00:01:58,796 --> 00:01:59,762
The Joker?
35
00:01:59,764 --> 00:02:01,597
Exactly, Chief O'Hara!
The Joker.
36
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:04,433
That most pestilent
of predators.
37
00:02:04,435 --> 00:02:06,868
The Clown Prince Of Crime.
38
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:10,404
This smells like an opening
gambit of his.
39
00:02:10,406 --> 00:02:11,138
That devil!
40
00:02:11,140 --> 00:02:14,641
- But how can we be sure?
- We can't. Not yet.
41
00:02:14,643 --> 00:02:16,342
But if it's The Joker
we're facing
42
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,211
then his plot is aimed
at Gotham City youth.
43
00:02:19,213 --> 00:02:21,213
We can't wait to be sure.
44
00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:23,748
Now this if there ever
was one is a case
45
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:28,486
for our unknown friend
behind the mask.
46
00:02:37,596 --> 00:02:38,429
[beeping]
47
00:02:38,431 --> 00:02:41,632
And in Wayne Manor, stately
residents of millionaire
48
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:45,802
socialite Bruce Wayne and his
young wardDick Grayson
49
00:02:45,804 --> 00:02:48,738
whom we just saw at school.
50
00:02:50,207 --> 00:02:52,374
[beeping]
51
00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:59,180
Please, Bruce, I beg you.
Accept the proposal.
52
00:02:59,182 --> 00:03:00,714
Run for mayor.
53
00:03:00,716 --> 00:03:01,448
It's funny.
54
00:03:01,450 --> 00:03:05,151
They come to you with the same
offer every two years.
55
00:03:05,153 --> 00:03:07,720
You'd think they'd get it
through their heads
56
00:03:07,722 --> 00:03:08,620
you're not interested.
57
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,755
I'm afraid she's right,
Mr. Vandergilt.
58
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:13,390
You see the good works
of my Wayne Foundation
59
00:03:13,392 --> 00:03:16,893
require that I stay above
the brawl of politics.
60
00:03:16,895 --> 00:03:19,829
But Gotham City needs you.
61
00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:21,297
Think of our problems.
62
00:03:21,299 --> 00:03:24,633
The snarl of traffic.
A water shortage.
63
00:03:24,635 --> 00:03:27,602
And now these recurrent
power failures.
64
00:03:27,604 --> 00:03:30,638
(Mr. Vandergilt)
'How can you turn this down?'
65
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,405
Ahem!
66
00:03:31,407 --> 00:03:33,540
(Aunt Harriet)
'What is it, Alfred?'
67
00:03:33,542 --> 00:03:35,742
Nothing of importance, madam.
68
00:03:37,644 --> 00:03:39,311
It's the Bat-phone, sir.
69
00:03:39,313 --> 00:03:42,580
Thank you, Alfred,
for reminding me.
70
00:03:42,582 --> 00:03:44,615
I tell you what, Mr. Vandergilt.
71
00:03:44,617 --> 00:03:48,852
I'll ponder it
and give you my answer tomorrow.
72
00:03:48,854 --> 00:03:51,454
Aunt Harriet,
give Mr. Vandergilt
73
00:03:51,456 --> 00:03:53,889
some more tea, will you?
74
00:03:55,524 --> 00:03:57,191
He'll ponder it?
75
00:03:57,193 --> 00:04:00,460
That's strange.
What's he got to ponder?
76
00:04:00,462 --> 00:04:01,294
Yes, commissioner.
77
00:04:01,296 --> 00:04:02,728
(Gordon)
'Prepare yourself for a blow.'
78
00:04:02,730 --> 00:04:05,564
Someone has struck in
Woodrow Roosevelt High.
79
00:04:05,566 --> 00:04:07,365
We think it's The Joker.
80
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:10,634
Good grief!
I'm on my way.
81
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:13,269
Dick's in the thick
of this already.
82
00:04:13,271 --> 00:04:15,671
If he calls,
tell him to stay where he is.
83
00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:18,540
- Very good, sir.
- The switch, Alfred.
84
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:21,976
Good luck, sir.
85
00:04:23,611 --> 00:04:25,912
[theme music]
86
00:04:33,987 --> 00:04:36,488
¶ Batman
87
00:04:37,256 --> 00:04:39,590
¶ Batman
88
00:04:40,458 --> 00:04:42,692
¶ Batman
89
00:04:43,660 --> 00:04:45,927
¶ Batman
90
00:04:46,528 --> 00:04:51,965
¶ Batman Batman Batman
91
00:04:52,766 --> 00:04:57,803
¶ Batman Batman Batman
92
00:04:57,805 --> 00:05:01,673
¶ Nana nana nana nana
nana nana nana na ¶
93
00:05:01,675 --> 00:05:04,575
¶ Batman
94
00:05:14,886 --> 00:05:16,887
[tires screeching]
95
00:05:17,722 --> 00:05:20,757
[theme music]
96
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,901
[tires screeching]
97
00:05:40,376 --> 00:05:43,778
[dramatic music]
98
00:05:51,553 --> 00:05:53,720
Looks sinister, doesn't it?
99
00:05:53,722 --> 00:05:57,423
Joker released from jail
one week ago
100
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:58,891
immediately buys control
101
00:05:58,893 --> 00:06:01,760
of One-Armed Bandit Novelty
Company.
102
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,027
Makers of coin operated gadgets.
103
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:05,963
Gum machines, pin balls,
that sort of harmless junk.
104
00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:09,766
There's nothing harmless about
The Joker, we all know that.
105
00:06:09,768 --> 00:06:14,637
Or about a machine which returns
20 silver dollars for a dime.
106
00:06:14,639 --> 00:06:18,607
What about the men who install
the machine and service it?
107
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:19,641
Clean as driven snow, Batman.
108
00:06:19,643 --> 00:06:22,010
And they're even more surprised
than we are.
109
00:06:22,012 --> 00:06:23,011
Ah, it's open and shut.
110
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:25,880
Somebody got to that poor
innocent machine
111
00:06:25,882 --> 00:06:26,747
and gimmicked it.
112
00:06:26,749 --> 00:06:31,051
But why?
In the devil's name, why?
113
00:06:31,053 --> 00:06:33,553
I can make a guess.
114
00:06:33,555 --> 00:06:35,054
[buzzing]
115
00:06:35,056 --> 00:06:35,788
Yes.
116
00:06:35,790 --> 00:06:38,891
Oh, thank you, Bonnie.
Put him on the conference phone.
117
00:06:38,893 --> 00:06:42,995
It's Principal Schoolfield.
Woodrow Roosevelt High.
118
00:06:44,397 --> 00:06:46,431
(Principal Schoolfield)
'Commissioner Gordon?'
119
00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:46,931
Speaking.
120
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:49,500
Another machine has gone mad.
121
00:06:49,502 --> 00:06:50,934
In the library.
122
00:06:50,936 --> 00:06:52,035
Instead of candy bars
123
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:55,405
it's dispensing negotiable
stocks and bonds.
124
00:06:55,407 --> 00:06:58,674
'To put it mildly,
student morale is cracking up.'
125
00:06:58,676 --> 00:07:02,044
Schoolfield,
this is Batman here.
126
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:02,844
Do you hear me?
127
00:07:02,846 --> 00:07:04,545
'Ah, yes, hello, Batman.'
128
00:07:04,547 --> 00:07:06,480
Who's the president
of your student council?
129
00:07:06,482 --> 00:07:10,350
A boy named Grayson.
Uh, Richard Grayson.
130
00:07:10,352 --> 00:07:11,751
'A fine lad.'
131
00:07:11,753 --> 00:07:13,052
I'm glad to hear it.
132
00:07:13,054 --> 00:07:15,888
Have him call a meeting
in your office
133
00:07:15,890 --> 00:07:16,755
I'll be right there.
134
00:07:16,757 --> 00:07:19,057
I'll have him waiting for you.
135
00:07:19,059 --> 00:07:20,058
Goodbye.
136
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:23,628
- I think my guess was right.
- What, Batman?
137
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:24,362
No time to lose.
138
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:27,431
Chief O'Hara, get me a visual
ID file on The Joker.
139
00:07:27,433 --> 00:07:30,467
- Meet me at the Batmobile.
- Yes, sir.
140
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,073
I mean, like, look, Dicky.
141
00:07:38,075 --> 00:07:39,607
So everyone's goofing off.
142
00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:41,909
- So why shouldn't they?
- It's quite true.
143
00:07:41,911 --> 00:07:44,811
The purpose of our studies
is to equip us
144
00:07:44,813 --> 00:07:46,445
to make our way in life.
145
00:07:46,447 --> 00:07:47,679
If on the other hand
146
00:07:47,681 --> 00:07:50,014
one has merely to insert
a dime in a machine--
147
00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:53,117
He's right. Why go through
all that studying?
148
00:07:53,119 --> 00:07:55,986
Cryin' out loud!
I'm surprised at you guys.
149
00:07:55,988 --> 00:07:58,955
We're meant
to be student leaders.
150
00:07:58,957 --> 00:08:00,923
Susie, what do you say?
151
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,958
I say, has anyone tried
152
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,061
Mr. Schoolfield's coffee
machine?
153
00:08:12,134 --> 00:08:15,603
[chuckles]
Hey, not bad
for old Schoolfield.
154
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:18,539
Quarters! Look.
155
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:19,439
Hey, not bad, eh?
156
00:08:19,441 --> 00:08:22,108
- How about that?
- Wise up, you guys.
157
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:22,942
Life isn't this easy.
158
00:08:22,944 --> 00:08:24,743
Well, that's easy
for you to say.
159
00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,945
You're the ward of that
rich millionaire.
160
00:08:26,947 --> 00:08:28,446
That has nothing to do with it.
161
00:08:28,448 --> 00:08:32,082
Hey, Gray, cut it out.
Here comes Batman.
162
00:08:32,616 --> 00:08:35,150
[instrumental music]
163
00:08:41,123 --> 00:08:43,557
[indistinct chattering]
164
00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:47,760
Sorry, kids. Stay back.
Sorry, Robin isn't with me.
165
00:08:47,762 --> 00:08:51,864
This Batmobile is filled with
delicate anti-crime equipment.
166
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:55,534
You might set of the automatic
anti-theft system.
167
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:58,003
Nobody closer
than 50 feet, please.
168
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,471
Hey, Batman, where's Robin?
169
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,739
(Batman)
'Attending school.
Just as you are.'
170
00:09:01,741 --> 00:09:03,774
- What school?
- I can't tell you that.
171
00:09:03,776 --> 00:09:06,076
It might reveal his secret
true identity.
172
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:09,179
Now, listen, if anyone hears
a sharp beep
173
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,180
'let me know at once.'
174
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:15,118
It'll be the Bat-phone ring
with an important message.
175
00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:26,161
And even as Batman races
into the school
176
00:09:26,163 --> 00:09:31,699
across town in a fashionable
little bistro.
177
00:09:33,068 --> 00:09:35,235
[dramatic music]
178
00:09:49,316 --> 00:09:56,955
(The Joker)
'Ha ha ha, the joke's on you,
my cherry booze hounds.'
179
00:09:56,957 --> 00:09:59,257
'It's a stick up!'
180
00:09:59,958 --> 00:10:03,660
'Hands up, you coward.'
181
00:10:18,809 --> 00:10:25,014
'Thanks, folks.
The party will now resume.'
182
00:10:27,851 --> 00:10:31,386
Believe me, this may look
like a party but it's not.
183
00:10:31,388 --> 00:10:33,087
There's a crook behind
these handouts.
184
00:10:33,089 --> 00:10:36,757
- What's his angle?
- He may have several.
185
00:10:36,759 --> 00:10:37,624
One is to lure you
186
00:10:37,626 --> 00:10:39,225
into a receptive pattern
of easy living.
187
00:10:39,227 --> 00:10:41,927
You'll quit your studies,
become dropouts.
188
00:10:41,929 --> 00:10:45,730
You'll have no other recourse
but to join criminal groups.
189
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:48,833
Batman's right.
It's sort of...recruiting drive.
190
00:10:48,835 --> 00:10:50,835
Sure, he's right.
What did I tell you?
191
00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:53,137
Can you corroborate
this odd hypothesis?
192
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:55,139
Yeah, Batman, like,
what's the crook's name?
193
00:10:55,141 --> 00:10:58,308
I can do better than that.
I can show you his picture.
194
00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,810
- What's your name, son?
- Richard Grayson, sir?
195
00:11:00,812 --> 00:11:01,710
'Thank you, Richard.'
196
00:11:01,712 --> 00:11:04,646
You darken the room,
I'll man the projector.
197
00:11:04,648 --> 00:11:05,980
Roger.
198
00:11:08,817 --> 00:11:12,786
Here it is, everybody,
The Joker.
199
00:11:12,788 --> 00:11:16,689
(Batman)
'Don't be deceived
by that grin, anyone.'
200
00:11:16,691 --> 00:11:20,659
'He's one of the most malevolent
malefactors we've ever met.'
201
00:11:20,661 --> 00:11:23,094
I'll bet he's a master
of makeup too.
202
00:11:23,096 --> 00:11:24,895
You're right. He is.
203
00:11:24,897 --> 00:11:26,863
He might be skulking
around here
204
00:11:26,865 --> 00:11:30,266
in any one of
50 outrageous outfits.
205
00:11:30,268 --> 00:11:34,837
For example,
here's another one.
206
00:11:34,839 --> 00:11:35,804
'A little closer, kids.'
207
00:11:35,806 --> 00:11:41,276
'I want you to see that phony
flower in his button hole.'
208
00:11:44,213 --> 00:11:46,881
Sometimes it shoots out water.
209
00:11:46,883 --> 00:11:49,183
Sometimes powder.
210
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:52,753
'Other times,
knock-out gas.'
211
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:53,420
Hey!
212
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:57,056
Holy magician!
213
00:11:57,058 --> 00:11:58,424
[laughing]
214
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:02,995
Hello, kiddies,
meet The Joker.
215
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:04,396
And no hard feelings.
216
00:12:04,398 --> 00:12:06,998
[buzzes]
Ow!
217
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,199
Corny, aren't I?
218
00:12:08,201 --> 00:12:09,433
Joker, what are you
doing here?
219
00:12:09,435 --> 00:12:11,802
Oh, just passing by.
I heard my name
220
00:12:11,804 --> 00:12:14,037
and I couldn't resist
shooting a jolly jet
221
00:12:14,039 --> 00:12:16,706
through the tiny perforation
in that screen.
222
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:19,141
Just passing by, huh?
To do what?
223
00:12:19,143 --> 00:12:21,476
Gimmick another innocent
vending machine?
224
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:24,312
Oh, there must be bats
in your belfry, Batman.
225
00:12:24,314 --> 00:12:28,115
Has anyone found fingerprints
or other evidence?
226
00:12:28,117 --> 00:12:30,016
You're too smart for that,
Joker.
227
00:12:30,018 --> 00:12:31,751
Hey, Batman,
nab him anyway.
228
00:12:31,753 --> 00:12:33,285
Loitering on school property.
229
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:37,922
Right. $5000 fine
and five years imprisonment.
230
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,356
Ha ha! No.
231
00:12:39,358 --> 00:12:40,423
Wrong, kiddies.
232
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:41,290
Look up the statute.
233
00:12:41,292 --> 00:12:44,793
In Gotham City, the crime of
loitering requires the loiterer
234
00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:49,130
to remain in the same spot
for over two minutes.
235
00:12:49,132 --> 00:12:52,199
You..
You jailhouse lawyer!
236
00:12:52,201 --> 00:12:56,236
A tricky trickster!
He's outwittin' us.
237
00:12:56,238 --> 00:12:57,237
Oh, dear me!
238
00:12:57,239 --> 00:13:01,841
The court jester must run.
Jest in time.
239
00:13:01,843 --> 00:13:02,408
[laughing]
240
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:05,277
Well, goodbye, kiddies.
And remember
241
00:13:05,279 --> 00:13:07,512
I was here, eh!
242
00:13:10,148 --> 00:13:11,081
What an odd parting remark.
243
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:14,751
Yeah, why does he want us
to remember he was here?
244
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:20,423
From the lips of a crook,
it can mean only one thing.
245
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:22,091
Establishing an alibi.
246
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:22,524
Right.
247
00:13:22,526 --> 00:13:26,160
Gee whiz!
Alibi for what?
248
00:13:35,203 --> 00:13:37,204
[phone beeping]
249
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:38,505
The Bat-phone signal.
250
00:13:38,507 --> 00:13:40,340
- Batman!
- Hey, Batman!
251
00:13:40,342 --> 00:13:42,175
(female #1)
'It's your Bat-phone.'
252
00:13:42,177 --> 00:13:45,278
(female #2)
'The Bat-phone, Batman!'
253
00:13:46,113 --> 00:13:48,948
[beeping]
254
00:13:56,389 --> 00:13:57,322
What now, commissioner?
255
00:13:57,324 --> 00:13:59,524
Another strike.
A cocktail lounge.
256
00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:02,126
A gimmick jukebox.
It must be The Joker.
257
00:14:02,128 --> 00:14:04,394
We'll never make it stick.
He has an alibi.
258
00:14:04,396 --> 00:14:08,398
- 'Maybe we can bring him.'
- Impossible, the alibi is me.
259
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,166
- What? You?
- Forget it.
260
00:14:10,168 --> 00:14:14,570
Give me the address. I'll race
to the scene of the crime.
261
00:14:14,572 --> 00:14:16,138
Right.
Goodbye.
262
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:19,107
(Grayson)
'Batman, sir.'
263
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,842
You forgot your
box of slides.
264
00:14:20,844 --> 00:14:24,011
Good, lad.
Bring it over.
265
00:14:27,248 --> 00:14:28,548
Fake a headache,
speed home
266
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:30,950
wait for me in the Bat-cave.
267
00:14:30,952 --> 00:14:33,319
You're welcome, sir.
268
00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:37,922
Boys and girls,
go back to your studies.
269
00:14:37,924 --> 00:14:42,426
'Believe me,
nothing in life is free!'
270
00:14:49,367 --> 00:14:51,434
[engine revving]
271
00:14:52,502 --> 00:14:54,536
[tires screeching]
272
00:15:04,246 --> 00:15:06,313
Scarcely, 500 yards away
273
00:15:06,315 --> 00:15:09,382
behind this innocent seeming
candy store
274
00:15:09,384 --> 00:15:13,185
an abandoned garage,
now headquarters of The Joker
275
00:15:13,187 --> 00:15:16,054
and his current gang,
the Bad Pennies.
276
00:15:16,056 --> 00:15:18,589
High school dropouts,
most of them.
277
00:15:18,591 --> 00:15:20,490
It's a pretty good haul,
isn't it?
278
00:15:20,492 --> 00:15:22,492
Peanuts, my boy,
mere peanuts.
279
00:15:22,494 --> 00:15:26,062
That bar job was just
a pot boiling appetizer
280
00:15:26,064 --> 00:15:26,962
for the real feast.
281
00:15:26,964 --> 00:15:29,564
Oh-ho-ho! What an inspired
stroke of mind
282
00:15:29,566 --> 00:15:34,368
buying up the One-Armed Bandit
Novelty Company.
283
00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:36,269
Plunder by remote control.
284
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:39,872
Hey, Joker, I think
I got this one rigged.
285
00:15:39,874 --> 00:15:40,939
Come and have a look.
286
00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:44,108
- Put it all away.
- Right.
287
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:47,311
Set to go off
on the third strike?
288
00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:50,380
Yeah, and I got two strikes
rung up already.
289
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,015
Ho-ho!
Here we go!
290
00:15:57,253 --> 00:15:58,386
Sensational!
It's a gas!
291
00:15:58,388 --> 00:16:00,955
Oh, you won't be caught
smoking a bar.
292
00:16:00,957 --> 00:16:02,189
It'll be your knock-out stuff.
293
00:16:02,191 --> 00:16:04,291
You've done it again,
Two Bits.
294
00:16:04,293 --> 00:16:06,493
Thank--
[buzzes]
295
00:16:06,495 --> 00:16:11,965
A timed reminder,
crime can be shocking.
296
00:16:11,967 --> 00:16:12,966
[signal beeps]
297
00:16:12,968 --> 00:16:16,602
Someone's trying
the bubblegum machine.
298
00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,041
Hiya, gang!
299
00:16:23,043 --> 00:16:27,278
Sweet Sue, shiniest
of my Bad Pennies.
300
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,113
Boy, Joker, you sure
are some card.
301
00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:31,548
Popping out at school
like that at Batman.
302
00:16:31,550 --> 00:16:34,350
Wondrously whimsical,
wasn't it?
303
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:36,385
It was real crazy
if you ask me.
304
00:16:36,387 --> 00:16:39,988
I might have fainted
and given the whole game away.
305
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:41,022
However, you didn't.
306
00:16:41,024 --> 00:16:42,456
Ah, I see you have this stuff.
307
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:45,058
- Of course.
- Any trouble getting it?
308
00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:46,292
Heck no.
Like I told you
309
00:16:46,294 --> 00:16:49,061
being chief cheerleader
puts me on the student council.
310
00:16:49,063 --> 00:16:52,597
Once you're on that,
you can get away with anything.
311
00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:53,297
Let's see.
312
00:16:53,299 --> 00:16:56,199
Hands off.
Not until I get paid.
313
00:16:56,201 --> 00:16:59,535
Trusting little wench,
aren't you?
314
00:16:59,537 --> 00:17:02,638
I'm a crook, Joker,
just like you.
315
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:04,706
Now where's the payoff?
316
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:06,340
Oh!
317
00:17:07,275 --> 00:17:10,076
Hiya there, lamb chop,
you busy tonight?
318
00:17:10,078 --> 00:17:11,577
You lowlife,
get away from me.
319
00:17:11,579 --> 00:17:13,679
Now, look here, baby,
I have plans--
320
00:17:13,681 --> 00:17:15,414
Are you stupid
or something?
321
00:17:15,416 --> 00:17:16,481
The reason
I've taken up crime
322
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:20,384
is so I can get a taste
of the finer things in life.
323
00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:22,552
- Yeah--
- Now beat it!
324
00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:23,185
Uh-oh.
325
00:17:23,187 --> 00:17:26,488
- Shut your eyes, Sweet Susie.
- Oh, yeah?
326
00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:29,224
And get an exploding cigar
in my ears?
327
00:17:29,226 --> 00:17:29,724
No, thanks.
328
00:17:29,726 --> 00:17:34,128
You mischievous varmint,
shut your eyes, I said.
329
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,599
Rhinestone bracelet.
330
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:40,733
A fox fur stole..
331
00:17:40,735 --> 00:17:46,739
...and one full quart of
imported Mexican perfume.
332
00:17:46,741 --> 00:17:49,975
Oh, gee, Joker.
333
00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:53,244
I'm sorry I sassed you.
334
00:17:55,480 --> 00:18:00,350
Why, this is like
some lovely dream.
335
00:18:01,618 --> 00:18:03,218
Ah! Perfect!
336
00:18:03,220 --> 00:18:05,620
Stolen right
from Schoolfield's safe.
337
00:18:05,622 --> 00:18:09,056
The key card to my
malevolent machination.
338
00:18:09,058 --> 00:18:10,190
But what is it, Joker?
339
00:18:10,192 --> 00:18:13,426
Look, you boobs.
Look and laugh.
340
00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:16,128
Examination papers.
341
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:18,263
[all laughing]
342
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,733
X plus Y
343
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,068
times X plus Y..
344
00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,103
Holy alphabet,
what is it?
345
00:18:27,105 --> 00:18:29,706
If you'll excuse me,
Master Robin.
346
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:30,406
Yes, Alfred?
347
00:18:30,408 --> 00:18:34,309
The solution is
X squared plus 2XY
348
00:18:34,311 --> 00:18:34,876
plus Y squared.
349
00:18:34,878 --> 00:18:37,511
Gee, sure!
Why didn't I know that?
350
00:18:37,513 --> 00:18:40,447
And with nationwide
pre-college exams coming up
351
00:18:40,449 --> 00:18:42,415
in just three days.
352
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,287
[tires screeching]
353
00:18:53,326 --> 00:18:55,260
Good to have you home.
354
00:18:55,262 --> 00:18:57,328
- What'd you find out, Batman?
- Nothing.
355
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,196
Holy vacuum,
not a single clue?
356
00:18:59,198 --> 00:19:00,397
We don't need clues, Robin.
357
00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:02,399
We know our man
is The Joker.
358
00:19:02,401 --> 00:19:03,733
What we need is evidence.
359
00:19:03,735 --> 00:19:07,169
I went over that looted lounge
with a fine toothed comb
360
00:19:07,171 --> 00:19:10,305
I didn't even find
a single hair to analyze.
361
00:19:10,307 --> 00:19:10,738
Gosh.
362
00:19:10,740 --> 00:19:12,139
And school morale
in a tailspin.
363
00:19:12,141 --> 00:19:15,275
Come a month from now, there'll
be dropouts by the bushel.
364
00:19:15,277 --> 00:19:16,776
- 'If he waits that long.'
- Huh?
365
00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:20,146
I didn't want to cause panic
at the student meeting.
366
00:19:20,148 --> 00:19:24,750
But I think The Joker has some
other dirty plan afoot as well.
367
00:19:24,752 --> 00:19:26,918
- Like what?
- 'I don't know.'
368
00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,754
But I think it involves
gimmicked machines
369
00:19:29,756 --> 00:19:30,888
and Woodrow Roosevelt High.
370
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:34,291
Gee, if we just knew
how he gets in to fix them.
371
00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:36,526
You've guessed it, Robin.
Our next move.
372
00:19:36,528 --> 00:19:38,828
- Stake out the school.
- Right again.
373
00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:41,197
Let's go!
374
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:01,216
[car approaching]
375
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,801
[telephone ringing]
376
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:21,768
Hello, hello.
377
00:20:21,770 --> 00:20:22,602
Give me the sign.
378
00:20:22,604 --> 00:20:25,438
How do you stop a dog
from barking in July?
379
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,607
Countersign,
Shoot them in June.
380
00:20:28,609 --> 00:20:29,641
Very good.
381
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:30,341
[chuckles]
382
00:20:30,343 --> 00:20:33,477
Listen, Batman and Robin just
drove into the parking lot.
383
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:36,780
What? The Dynamic Duo
at the school?
384
00:20:36,782 --> 00:20:37,680
That's right, Joker.
385
00:20:37,682 --> 00:20:39,748
What'll I do?
Take another lam?
386
00:20:39,750 --> 00:20:41,449
No, no, no, no,
listen.
387
00:20:41,451 --> 00:20:42,216
Oh. Ha ha ha.
388
00:20:42,218 --> 00:20:45,319
Thank heavens for my
delicious sense of humor.
389
00:20:45,321 --> 00:20:47,921
You have your crooked keys,
don't you?
390
00:20:47,923 --> 00:20:48,554
Natch.
391
00:20:48,556 --> 00:20:52,791
'Alright, Sweet Sue.
Find key 17.'
392
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:56,961
'Do exactly as I tell you.'
393
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:04,234
- Gain level set.
- Okay.
394
00:21:04,236 --> 00:21:08,338
Set the anti-theft systems.
Let's go.
395
00:21:15,579 --> 00:21:16,011
Susie.
396
00:21:16,013 --> 00:21:18,279
Wow, am I ever glad
to see you two.
397
00:21:18,281 --> 00:21:21,515
Just now, I saw a suspicious
character in the gym.
398
00:21:21,517 --> 00:21:22,616
Quick! Run to safety.
399
00:21:22,618 --> 00:21:25,452
We'll take care of him.
400
00:21:25,454 --> 00:21:27,587
Wait, Batman,
look, a machine.
401
00:21:27,589 --> 00:21:29,021
It's been tampered with.
402
00:21:29,023 --> 00:21:32,024
This might be tricky.
403
00:21:32,026 --> 00:21:34,026
Get out your Bat-a-rang.
404
00:21:34,028 --> 00:21:36,728
I'll slip in a dime.
405
00:21:39,865 --> 00:21:41,832
[coin clatters]
406
00:21:44,268 --> 00:21:47,470
Holy ball and chain!
407
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,271
[grunts]
408
00:21:49,972 --> 00:21:53,507
Quick! Let's get out
our cutting tools.
409
00:21:53,975 --> 00:21:55,909
[hissing]
410
00:21:55,911 --> 00:21:58,044
The knock-out gas.
411
00:22:03,784 --> 00:22:05,885
[all laughing]
412
00:22:08,321 --> 00:22:10,622
Twelve and one half minutes
later
413
00:22:10,624 --> 00:22:14,525
inside this curious vehicle..
414
00:22:19,631 --> 00:22:20,631
It's all hooked up, boys.
415
00:22:20,633 --> 00:22:23,467
50,000 volts,
straight from the city main.
416
00:22:23,469 --> 00:22:24,634
Good.
417
00:22:24,636 --> 00:22:25,835
[chuckles]
418
00:22:25,837 --> 00:22:29,004
Gosh, Joker, this sure is some
crazy mixed-up moving van.
419
00:22:29,006 --> 00:22:32,874
One of the assets of the
One-Armed Bandit Novelty Company
420
00:22:32,876 --> 00:22:35,843
built for a whimsical
Caribbean dictator.
421
00:22:35,845 --> 00:22:39,680
Happily for us if not
for the Dynamic Duo.
422
00:22:39,682 --> 00:22:42,816
Uh, deposed before delivery.
423
00:22:42,818 --> 00:22:44,651
[groaning]
424
00:22:49,356 --> 00:22:49,988
Oh, they're waking up.
425
00:22:49,990 --> 00:22:52,924
Careful no, my dimple darling.
No names.
426
00:22:52,926 --> 00:22:55,860
I'll speak to them through
this trick microphone
427
00:22:55,862 --> 00:22:59,496
that disguises our voices.
428
00:22:59,498 --> 00:23:01,898
(Susie over microphone)
'Oh, what a paw.'
429
00:23:01,900 --> 00:23:02,932
Holy Las Vegas!
Where are we?
430
00:23:02,934 --> 00:23:07,703
(Joker on speaker)
'In a strange kind
of game room, boy blunder.'
431
00:23:07,705 --> 00:23:10,572
Do you see the machine
next to you?
432
00:23:10,574 --> 00:23:10,972
'Right.'
433
00:23:10,974 --> 00:23:14,942
'It's going to spin around
merrily and merrily.'
434
00:23:14,944 --> 00:23:16,376
What's the payoff?
435
00:23:16,378 --> 00:23:19,746
Three liberty bells,
your freedom..
436
00:23:19,748 --> 00:23:22,648
...and $50,000 cash.
437
00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:25,484
'Three oranges,
your freedom only.'
438
00:23:25,486 --> 00:23:28,787
And if it's three lemons,
which the percentages say
439
00:23:28,789 --> 00:23:29,654
is the more likely.
440
00:23:29,656 --> 00:23:34,125
50,000 volts of electrifying
electricity
441
00:23:34,127 --> 00:23:36,127
my fettered fatman.
442
00:23:36,129 --> 00:23:39,763
'Automatically
on the third lemon.'
443
00:23:39,765 --> 00:23:40,764
Holy fruit salad.
444
00:23:40,766 --> 00:23:42,365
Sorry, I don't approve
of gambling.
445
00:23:42,367 --> 00:23:45,401
(Joker)
'Enough, my captured
caped crusaders.'
446
00:23:45,403 --> 00:23:48,570
I guarantee this machine
is fair.
447
00:23:48,572 --> 00:23:50,805
So let the game commence.
448
00:23:50,807 --> 00:23:52,740
[both chuckling]
449
00:23:54,375 --> 00:23:55,975
[clatters]
450
00:23:59,779 --> 00:24:03,014
Horrors!
One lemon.
451
00:24:03,982 --> 00:24:08,385
Double horrors!
Two lemons.
452
00:24:08,387 --> 00:24:12,122
And if it's a third,
instant and inescapable
453
00:24:12,124 --> 00:24:15,658
50,000 volts.
454
00:24:16,459 --> 00:24:19,861
Close your eyes.
Who dares to see it?
455
00:24:19,863 --> 00:24:23,130
Try us tomorrow,
same Bat-time
456
00:24:23,132 --> 00:24:25,999
same Bat-channel.
457
00:24:29,770 --> 00:24:31,937
[theme music]
458
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,539
¶ Batman
459
00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:37,741
¶ Batman
460
00:24:38,642 --> 00:24:40,976
¶ Batman
461
00:24:41,811 --> 00:24:44,012
¶ Batman
462
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:50,117
¶ Batman Batman Batman
463
00:24:50,985 --> 00:24:56,189
¶ Batman Batman Batman
464
00:25:02,029 --> 00:25:04,930
¶ Nana nana nana nana na
465
00:25:04,932 --> 00:25:07,666
¶ Batman