¶ Batman
[instrumental music]
[girl screaming]
[screaming continues]
Officer. Officer. Help.
Officer!
[bike engine revving]
Some kook melted the ice rink.
With a flame thrower, yet!
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
[tire screeching]
[siren blaring]
[tire screeching]
[instrumental music]
Ice?
In July?
But who would melt down an ice rink
and then turn right around ice up a street and..
[instrumental music]
You don't mean..
That diabolical snow man.
Who can only exists in temperatures
50 degrees below zero or more.
Oh, no!
Man with a heart of ice and a cold calculating brain
of the master criminal.
There only one man in this entire city capable
of defrosting Mr. Freeze.
[music continues]
Agreed?
[Bat-phone beeping]
I'll call him, sir.
Wow!
All you do is rough up the cover
get a good grip on the seams, get that pitching arm--
Careful, the vase.
- Ah. - Pow!
- What part I hit? - You're out.
That's the way you do it. The old Diamante fast ball special.
Shades of Sandy Koufax!
No wonder they call you the Great Diamante.
You must be about the best pitcher in the world.
About? Yes. Just ask him.
I'd like to say it's not only been a pleasure
but an education to have the three most illustrious
members of the Gotham City Eagles here for lunch.
- Do I hear a second? - Second the motion.
- Third. - Here, here.
- I hope you liked my cherry.. - The Bat-phone, sir.
Thank you, Alfred. I didn't realize it was that late.
Seems I have an impatient date waiting, gentlemen.
Well, what're you waiting for?
Hard to keep the young lady waiting?
Or the ladies younger sister.
But is any young teenage miss worth
pitching lesson from the Great Diamante?
We were leaving anyway. Thanks it was a wonderful dinner.
- The meal was terrific. - Thank you, boys.
Thank you so much. Come again, won't you?
[indistinct chattering]
[instrumental music]
Yes, commissioner.
Chilling news. It's Mr. Freeze.
We're on our way.
To the Bat-poles.
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Na na na na na na
¶ Batman
[instrumental music]
Atomic batteries to power.
Turbines to speed.
Roger, ready to move out.
[engine revving]
[theme music]
[tire screeching]
[music continues]
[instrumental music]
Poor devil.
Forced to live in an air condition suit
that keeps his body temperature down to 50 degrees below zero.
No wonder his mind is warped.
Your pity is all well, Batman. But what's he up too?
Yes. What is the point of his shenanigans?
I see calling cards, Chief O'Hara.
To let me know he's back in Gotham City.
Of course, he wants revenge.
- I'm not so sure I blame him. - It was an accident, Batman.
You didn't mean to knock that beaker of instant freeze on him
during a fight in his laboratory.
The Boy Wonder is right.
He was the culprit, Batman.
Experimenting with those devilish
instant freeze solutions and for some
criminal purpose, undoubtedly.
True, commissioner.
Nevertheless I feel it's my duty not only to catch him
but with all the medical know how at our command
to help that sorry creature back to a normal way of life.
Noble sentiments, Batman.
Wasted on the fiendish likes of him.
Perhaps, men. We'll soon see.
But with his revenge, he just may want a dividend.
- A dividend? - Money.
Maintaining his sub zero environment is expensive.
Holy iceberg!
We can expect a crime wave.
No, Robin. A cold wave.
- Of terror. - How?
Where will he strike first?
That's for him to plot and us to guess.
We'll use our anti-crime computer in the Bat-cave.
Right, Robin.
If there're any new strange occurrences, commissioner
call us immediately on the hotline.
To the Batmobile. Let's go.
[instrumental music]
(male narrator) And even as the dynamic duos speeds back to the Bat-cave
a strange scene ensues inside Mr. Freeze's
super air conditioned mountain hideout.
Revenge! Revenge!
I will pin Batman's hide to the walls of City Hall
after I have made him the laughing stock of Gotham City.
[all laughing]
Oh!
Well, Kolevator, what're you waiting for Christmas?
You forgot to turn on my hot path, sir.
[speaking in foreign language]
I forgot that you have not the same
reverse metabolism as I have.
There nice warm 76 degree temperature
from kitchen to table.
Thank you, sir.
Nippy, have you ordered the airplane
to go zoom, zoom, zoom?
Yeah, boss.
Und Chill, how many Batman's have you hired
for this afternoon?
- Five, boss. - Und Mo, how many of me?
And five of youse naturally.
Five Batman's, five of me.
This is the beginning of the end of Batman's.
[all laughing]
Nippy, give my order to unleash the decoys.
Right, boss.
[instrumental music]
I will toy with him like cat with mouse.
I will lure him right to the scene of the crime.
First I toy, then I destroy.
In the Bat-cave far below Stately Wayne Manor
Batman and the Boy Wonder make plans for their meeting
with their frosty foe.
(Robin) 'Ten, nine, eight, seven, six'
'five, four, three, two, one, zero.'
[instrumental music]
Zero is maximum.
Failed again. The anti-freeze capsule, won't do the job.
Iced tea, sir.
Holy blizzard!
Who needs iced tea at a time like this, Alfred?
Hot tea might be more appropriate, Alfred.
Under the circumstances.
I anticipated the circumstances, sir.
Piping hot.
- Anticipated? - Yes, sir. From the newspaper.
A rather strange little column concerning melted ice rinks
and bursting ice dispensers.
Might lead one to suppose that Mr. Freeze
was back in town again.
- He's back, alright. - Unfortunately.
- Seeking revenge. - Oh, dear, dear me.
How very distressing.
And this...this freezing chamber contraption
if I might be so bold as to enquire, sir.
Would that be some sort of defense against, Mr. Freeze?
Not that. This.
This new anti-freeze capsule.
Taken internally and enables the person
to withstand intense cold.
But we're using the freezing chamber to test the results.
If I understand you correctly, sir.
- It tested down to.. - Zero.
Not cold enough, sir?
To be affective against Mr. Freeze
we must withstand 50 degrees below zero temperatures.
If we're forced to meet him on his own ground.
I'm sure we're in for a mighty chilly reception.
Do you think it might come to that, sir?
Who knows.
All we can assume is that somewhere, somehow
his evil scheme for revenge is in operation..
...right now.
[intense music]
[instrumental music]
But how can Batman be in six places at once?
Impossible.
oh, Look at these patrol car reports.
He's been spotted uptown, downtown, east side, west side.
And every officer wants to know, what's the trouble?
What's Batman doing in my territory?
Impossible. They're imposters of course.
We must notify Batman.
[instrumental music]
[Bat-phone beeping]
Yes, commissioner.
You asked me to report any strange occurrences.
I think this one qualifies.
Now, that's the last location where a patrol car spotted me?
(Gordon) 'You were seen there less than two minutes ago.'
Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold..
"Batman last reported at 59th street, now at 57th."
- That about wraps it up. - I'll be in touch.
Move me in from 59th street to 57th.
Holy schizophrenia!
If you're all these places at the same time..
You sure are spreading yourself pretty thin.
Notice the pattern.
They all seem to be moving in to the center.
44th between 5th and 6th.
Leapin' Lumbago!
- The diamond exchange. - The diamond..
But of course. Diamonds.
In the vernacular of the underworld ice!
Let's go!
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
Very nice. Thank you.
Now, the famous Star Of Kashmir diamond, if you please.
Oh, dear me no. Not the Star Of Kashmir.
- The star. Immediately. - Well, I-I..
[instrumental music]
It's in the safe. There.
But I don't know the combination.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Who needs combination?
[intense music]
Drop 'em. Who needs chicken feed.
Ah! Look at that.
The most valuable diamond in the world.
The second.
[alarm buzzing]
Nein! Nein!
No guns.
[instrumental music]
How many times must I tell you, no ordinary guns.
I want they should be frozen stiff.
Mr. Perkins. Mr. Perkins.
- Look. It's Batman. - Oh, dear.
[instrumental music]
Like one big happy family, eh?
[tire screeching]
Hey, the real Batman.
Follow me.
[instrumental music]
It's the real me, chum.
[music continues]
Nein. Nein.
[music continues]
Batman, look. Mr. Freeze.
[instrumental music]
Holy snowball!
The turbines they're iced.
We're frozen out.
Batman. Look.
[plane whirring]
[instrumental music]
Pow, if only I could've landed
one punch on the real Mr. Freeze.
Think positive, Robin.
Our computer should clue us in
on where he's liable to strike next.
Jewelry shops? Why didn't I think of that?
One thing we know for sure.
Mr. Freeze is out to steal all the ice in Gotham City.
On the contrary, one thing we know for sure is
that he's not out to steal all the ice in Gotham City.
Otherwise why would he leave a fortune in lose diamonds
on the floor of the diamond exchange.
Yeah! Yeah!
Assuming he doesn't want all the ice.
Perhaps he does want the best.
These cards indicate the most expensive diamonds in the world
and where they're located.
Circle the locations on the map.
"Marie Antoinette Tiara Trieste Jeweler
"52nd and Avenue, Peace.
'"Devil's Teardrop, Maurice Leroux Export.'
"Ghiaccio Circulo."
The most valuable diamond in the world.
But that's not in Gotham City.
It's owned by Princess Sandra
of the principality of Molino.
(both) That's it.
"The Ghiaccio Circulo."
English translation, "Ice circle."
- I'm studying Italian. - Excellent.
- Circle for zero. - Zero temperature.
Owned by the Princess Sandra.
- Who's flying to Gotham City. - For the charity baseball game.
- Tomorrow afternoon. - Tonight.
But the game's tomorrow.
But she's arriving tonight.
[instrumental music]
[engine revving]
Meanwhile in the royal suite of the Gotham City Hotel.
Princess Sandra, formerly Sandra Carlson from Brooklyn
tends her social affairs.
Unaware of an impending surprise.
Call the ambassador and tell him that I'll be over to receive him
on Thursday at 2 p.m. and make sure you talk to his wife.
Freshly cut flowers for the dining room.
Thank you, Gabriel.
And I'm expecting 30 people.
What is it?
(male #1) 'For your Royal Highness, from Molino by air.'
Oh, how delightful. I wonder what cut of beef this is?
[screams]
- It's cold cuts. - The alarm.
[Princess Sandra screaming]
[instrumental music]
[Bat-phone beeping]
Yes, commissioner.
The royal suite...we're getting a continuous signal
from that special alarm system that you told us to install.
Good.
It's working, Batman.
Gotham City Hotel.
[engine revving]
[instrumental music]
[all laughing]
Stop. Nobody move or they get frozen stiff too.
Well, now, Ghiaccio Circulo, if you please.
The diamond, now.
[music continues]
[tire screeching]
Wait. Let's take a short cut.
Right. They could have look outs in the lobby.
[instrumental music]
No. No.
Nobody says no to me, never.
Wunderbar. Wunderbar.
Tell Batman when he arrives, if he arrives, what happened.
[footsteps approaching]
Tell him yourself, Dr. Schimmell.
Alias, Mr. Freeze.
[instrumental music]
No, Robin, the safety of the hotel guest first.
[instrumental music]
Fire under control. After them, Robin.
Sorry about this, Your Highness.
[music continues]
Nein. Nein. Nein. Stop.
I don't want to kill you. Not yet. Not yet.
Not yet.
[screaming]
[plane whirring]
I'm sorry, Batman. I wanted to toy with you a little longer.
But that is the way the ice cube crumbles.
[engine revving]
Has Batman struck out?
Is Robin cool, for good?
Can no one save our noble pair of human popsicles?
[instrumental music]
Answers tomorrow night!
Same time, same channel.
One word of warning.
By watching you too, can lose your cool!
[theme music]
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
¶ Batman Batman
¶ Batman
[music continues]
¶ Na na na na na
¶ Batman