(CAR ENGlNES RUNNlNG)
(CROWD CHEERlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(CRASHlNG)
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
(BOTH lMlTATlNG CAR ENGlNE)
Hang on, we're coming to a bend.
You're going too fast!
No, l'm not. Hang on !
What's this heap of old iron doing here?
Old iron?
l'll give you 1 0 bob for it.
Don't be daft.
This was once a great car.
Won the Grand Prix three years running.
(LAUGHS) So it's a car, is it?
Certainly it's a car.
lt's a racing car. And we're winning.
And you're in the way.
And you're in the way for a right belt around the ear, young man,
if l have any more of your lip.
All right. l'll give you 1 5 bob for it.
Make it 30 bob, and she's yours.
Mr. Coggins, you're not going to sell her, are you?
Of course he's gonna sell her.
What do you think he's running here,
a children's playground or something?
All right, 30 bob. l'll pick her up Wednesday.
But, Mr. Coggins, you promised we could play in her.
Well, l'm sorry, my dears, but she ain't any use to me.
Times are hard.
But you can't take her away.
She's not just any old car. She's ours.
Not anymore, she ain't. l'll see you tomorrow, Bill.
Giddy-up!
What're you going to do with her?
l'll tell you what we're gonna do with her,
we're gonna put her in the clapper
and we're gonna crunch her up till she's one solid piece of metal.
Then we're gonna put her in a fiery furnace,
and we're gonna melt her down till she's liquid iron.
That's what we're gonna do with her.
Now look what you've done. You've frightened her.
She shivered.
See? She's a very special car.
lf you put her in the fiery furnace, you'll be guilty of murder.
Yeah, and if you don't get out of it,
l'll be guilty of two more murders.
Now go on, out of it. Giddy-up! Giddy-up!
Please, Mr. Coggins, you can't sell our lovely car
to that nasty man.
Well, l'm sorry, children, but l'm afraid l already have.
l know! Daddy will buy it for us. Won't he, Jemima?
Of course he will.
Mr. Coggins, promise you won't let her go until we come back.
(LAUGHlNG)
Well, 30 shillings, mind. Not a penny less.
Please promise.
Please.
All right, l promise.
Come on, Jemima.
(GASPS)
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Well, that's a clever thing to do!
We're very sorry, miss.
l'm sure you are.
Well, just look at my car.
And just look what a mess l'm in, too.
Oh, no, l think you're beautiful.
And l like your car.
Hmm.
Just the same, you shouldn't be rushing across the road like that.
You know, you might have been killed.
Anyway, why aren't you in school?
lt isn't a holiday, is it?
No, miss.
Do you live around here?
Yes, we live just down the road.
Come on, get into my car, l'm taking you home.
Gosh, just wait till Daddy hears we've been for a ride in a motorcar!
Yes!
What's your name?
l'm Jemima.
And l'm Jeremy.
What's yours? Truly.
That's a very pretty name.
Now, where is your house?
Oh, we don't live in a house.
We live in the castle on top of the hill.
A castle? l didn't know there were any castles around here.
Well, it isn't a castle exactly.
That's what Daddy calls it.
He says King Alfred used to live there hundreds of years ago.
And does your daddy know you aren't in school?
Oh, he won't mind. He never does.
Anyway, he's awfully busy.
ls he?
Well, he'll have to find time to see me,
because l have a few things to say to him.
JEMlMA: Edison ! Edison !
JEREMY: Come here, boy!
Good boy, good boy.
That's Daddy over there.
JEMlMA: Hello! JEREMY: Hello!
Hello. You're just in time.
What on earth is he up to?
JEMlMA: That's his latest invention.
Rockets.
Rockets?
Stand back!
Keep clear!
Hooray! Hooray!
(BARKlNG)
Does he know what he's doing?
Of course he does.
Whoa!
(EXCLAlMlNG)
Well, l don't see anything funny.
Somebody should do something about it.
Hold on ! Hold on !
Wait! Wait there.
Oh !
Thank you !
l should hope so.
You might have gone up in flames.
Madam, l took that into consideration.
This suit is completely flameproof.
Oh, dear.
You have just succeeded in ruining my propulsion unit.
But how was l to know that you were. . .
Don't be cross with the lady, Daddy.
JEREMY: She gave us a ride in her car.
JEMlMA: She was only trying to help.
How very kind.
Her name's Truly. That's nice.
Do you realize, Mr. Potts,
that l nearly knocked down your two children?
Well, we do seem to be accident-prone, don't we?
But it wasn't my fault. You see, they came rushing out. . .
Oh, well, it was very, very nice of you to apologize.
Apologize? Tea time, children.
Bye-bye, Truly.
Thanks for the ride.
Just a moment, you two.
Don't you have something to tell your father?
Yes, we have. Daddy, Mr. Coggins promised us. . .
But she didn't mean about that.
Daddy, we didn't go to school today.
Oh-ho.
Well, it'll give the other children a chance to catch up, won't it?
Run along, children.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, Truly.
Come on, Edison.
But, Mr. Potts. . . Good day!
But, but. . . Unstable. Definitely unstable.
(GRANDPA EXCLAlMS)
Good afternoon, miss. Sorry l can't stop. l'm off to lndia.
Going to have a cup of tea with the Maharajah. Cheerio!
Mr. Potts.
l'm sorry to persist about this,
but perhaps you simply aren't aware that your children
were running about in the road.
And after all, you know, it's not a playground. lt's very. . .
Would you mind just pressing that switch there?
Switch? Yes, just behind you.
On the right. The right.
The right?
Thank you.
You really ought to try and exercise more control over them.
Yes, l suppose l could chain them up, couldn't l?
On a nice long chain, of course,
so they get plenty of exercise.
Mr. Potts, don't your children go to school?
Oh, l have it now. You're the truant officer.
No, l'm not the truant officer.
Well, didn't you ever play truant? l mean, just once?
No, l most certainly did not.
l bet you didn't.
Would it be too much to ask what this is, this, um, thing?
A little invention of mine, cleans carpets by suction.
All that to clean carpets?
Away with sweeping, and away with brushing,
and away with dirty carpets.
(LAUGHlNG)
ls that all you do, Mr. Potts? lnvent things?
ls that all l do?
And what's this gadget?
Well, that's not quite right yet,
but eventually, l hope to transmit moving pictures by wireless.
Oh, really? Yes, really. That's my. . .
And this?
This, madam, is a sweet-making machine.
And is this one of the sweets?
Yes, it is.
And is it supposed to have all those holes in it?
No. Actually, l think that the problem is. . .
The boiling point of your sugar is too high.
Oh, we're an expert on sweet-making, are we?
Well, as a matter of fact. . .
And an expert on child welfare.
l was only trying to help your children.
Well, maybe my children like running wild in the street.
Did that ever occur to you? l do not see any cause to. . .
And in any case, how my children behave
is frankly no concern of yours.
l was merely trying. . .
So, if you'll be so good as to take yourself off
in that fancy automobile of yours
and go do good somewhere else.
Well, l've never been. . .
Spoken to that way before? Well, maybe it's about time.
(HUFFS) Good afternoon, madam.
Mind the cable!
Vicious, interfering. . .
(ENGlNE SPUTTERlNG)
lf women are going to drive motorcars around,
they should learn to operate one correctly.
Well, l suppose it wouldn't occur to you to offer to help me.
Get in the car. Please.
Well, for a mechanically-minded man, Mr. Potts. . .
Try switching it on.
Oh.
Hmm !
(ENGlNE STARTS)
(GRlNDlNG)
Open the throttle!
And keep it open !
Women !
Confounded woman ! Who does she think she is?
Coming in here and telling me how to raise my children.
Do l need somebody to tell me how to raise my children?
Do l? Hmm?
No, of course not. Of course not!
Where's my cardigan?
Under your jacket.
Under. . . Yes.
Self-righteous busybody.
(LAUGHS)
She won't be bothering us again.
But l liked her.
So did l. She was very pretty.
She certainly was.
Do you think your father's a crackpot?
Your cardigan's inside out.
Oh.
Do you think l'm a lunatic,
wasting my time on a lot of silly inventions?
But they aren't silly. They're wonderful.
Nobody else could think of them.
That's right. That is right. Nobody else could think of them.
Yes. After all, what makes the battle worth the fighting?
What makes the mountain worth the climb?
What makes the questions worth the asking?
The reason worth the rhyme?
(SlNGlNG) To me, the answer's clear
It's having someone near
Someone dear
Someone to care for To be there for
I have you two
Someone to do for Muddle through for
I have you two
Someone to share joy or despair with
Whichever betides you
Life becomes a chore
Unless you're living for
Someone to tend to, be a friend to
I have you two
Someone to strive for Do or die for
I have you two
Could be we three get along so famously
'Cause you two have me
And I have you two, too
(CHEERlNG)
(SHATTERlNG)
(BELL DlNGS)
(TOOTlNG)
(SNEEZES)
BOTH: Someone to care for To be there for
I have you two
Someone to do for Muddle through for
I have you two
Someone to smile once in a while with
Whenever you're lonesome
I've a happy lot
Considering what I've got
But I couldn't do more
Than you do for your poor father
Daddy! Daddy!
Things go asunder
And I wonder why you bother
ALL: Could be we three
Get along so famously 'cause
BOTH: We two have you
And I have you two
Too
(EXCLAlMS)
Jeremy.
Oh, good.
Do l smell food?
Bring the bread, will you, Grandpa.
Yes, sir! Sir! Sir!
And pepper and salt, please.
Right away, sir!
Oh !
Sausage and egg, my favorite!
How was lndia? lndia?
l'll tell you something. l got up this morning,
and l shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he ever. . .
ALL: Got into my pajamas, l shall never know.
You've heard it before.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Now, l wonder how that could have happened.
Daddy, could we ask you something?
lt's about Mr. Coggins.
Mr. Coggins.
You see, the junkman wanted to take it away.
But Mr. Coggins says if we asked you first. . .
Asked me what first?
He's a horrid, mean, old man.
Mr. Coggins?
No, the junkman.
He's going to take it away
and put it in a furnace. And burn it all up. lt's terrible.
What are you going on about?
BOTH: Our car!
Yes, well, what about it?
Mr. Coggins is selling it to the junkman.
And the junkman's going to put it in the fiery furnace.
And squidge it all up till there's nothing left.
Oh, well, that's terrible. That is terrible.
We can't let that happen, Grandpa.
No, definitely not.
We knew you wouldn't let them, Daddy.
So we made Mr. Coggins promise we could have it
if you gave him 30 shillings.
Uh, 30 shillings.
JEREMY: You can give Mr. Coggins the money in the morning, Daddy.
Yes, well, l suppose we can work something out somehow.
Good ! Hooray!
Are you all finished?
Yes, Daddy. Yes, thank you.
Well, l think, maybe, you should go run up to bed.
Good night, Grandpa. Good night, my boy. Sleep tight.
Good night, Grandpa. Good night, my darling. God bless you.
Good night, Daddy. Good night.
Good night, Daddy.
Yes, well, you've done it now, haven't you?
You think Coggins might do a deal? So much a week?
Coggins? What, him down the road? Sure.
He's so mean he wouldn't light your pipe if his house was on fire.
(THUNDER RUMBLlNG)
Did you hear that? You know what that means, don't you?
l'll be up all night, rain pouring through my bedroom roof.
Grandpa, why don't you sleep in the workshop? lt's nice and. . .
The workshop?
You promised, faithfully, to fix my bedroom roof.
l will, Grandpa. lt's just. . .
Caractacus, please. My boy, listen.
lt's time you woke up. When l was your age, l did a day's work. . .
For a day's pay, polishing the Colonel's boots.
l was the smartest batman in the British Army.
So you've been telling me.
When my Brigadier went into action,
the fuzzy-wuzzies were so blinded by the shine on his boots,
they couldn't see to fight.
(RUMBLlNG CONTlNUES) (EXCLAlMS)
Catch me death of cold. He doesn't care.
Nobody cares. Me own son !
She was right. Who wants sweets with holes in them?
(WHlSTLlNG)
Oh, Edison, stop that whistling.
(WHlSTLlNG CONTlNUES)
Edison, hey, do that again.
(WHlSTLlNG)
Edison, you're a genius.
(BARKlNG)
The employment office is in the rear.
Thank you. Oh.
You see, l've invented these sweets.
Really?
Name?
Uh. . .
Whistling Sweets. Mr. Whistling Sweets.
(LAUGHlNG) Not Mr. Whistling Sweets.
No, l'm Potts.
Hmm.
May l see the managing director?
Lord Scrumptious sees no one without an appointment.
CARACTACUS: Well, how do l get an appointment?
Why, hello, children.
JEMlMA: Jeremy, it's Truly.
Hello, Truly.
Good morning, Miss Scrumptious. How nice to see you.
Good morning, Phillips. Please tell my father that l'm here.
But of course, Miss Scrumptious.
Are you here on business, Mr. Potts?
Yes, Miss. . .
Father? Truly Scrumptious.
You're his. . .
His daughter. Mmm-hmm.
Come on, children, let's go.
But, Daddy, you haven't shown anybody your invention.
Somehow, l don't think that'll do much good.
Just a moment, Mr. Potts.
Exactly what was it you. . .
You've seen them.
Oh, those. But they whistle.
Whistle?
Those holes.
You just blow through them.
(WHlSTLES)
They're very ingenious.
Kind of a novelty.
(SHUSHlNG)
Please go in, Miss Scrumptious.
You can come back in three weeks' time.
Show Mr. Potts in, Phillips.
Now? Now.
But his Lordship said. . . Now.
Very well. Please follow me.
Maybe l should come back in three weeks.
Oh, Daddy!
Go on, Daddy.
All right.
And don't let him bully you.
Yes.
Mr. Potts, milord.
Potts? Who's he?
Where's me daughter?
She insisted on Mr. Potts seeing you.
All right, don't just stand there. What's it all about?
Sweets, sir.
l hardly thought it was nuts and bolts. Let's have a look.
Yes.
Hurry up, man ! Yes, sir.
lf l may be allowed to explain, sir.
You have exactly 20 seconds.
Yes.
Well, the fundamental novelty of these particular sweets
is their musical quality.
Not only are they remarkably tasty,
but due to the unique positioning of these little holes,
they are capable, when blown through,
of rendering a tuneful whistle.
Place your fingers over the holes and blow thus.
(STEAM WHlSTLE BLOWlNG LOUDLY)
Tasting time, milord.
Too late. Had your chance. Muffed it. Good morning.
(WHlSPERlNG) Go on. Follow him.
Milord?
(BLOWlNG WHlSTLE)
CARACTACUS: Sir?
Excuse me.
Sir, if l may be allowed to demonstrate.
You see, by blowing air through this hole in the center of the sweet
you get a wonderful-sounding. . .
Raspberry? No, no.
lt's more like a toot, really.
Not enough fruit, too much sugar. Yes, milord.
Prepare the peppermint.
Beautiful. Would you care to try it, sir?
Under no circumstances.
Prepare the lemon !
He's not doing very well, is he?
You know, another remarkable feature about these little sweets
is that by sucking on them. . . Throw it away!
Will you get rid of this idiot for me?
Milord. You. . . .in perfect pitch.
They also come in strawberry, raspberry. . .
Are you still here? . . .lemon and. . .
And pineapple.
(MOUTHlNG) Go on.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Don't waste your pucker on some all-day sucker.
And don't try a toffee or cream.
lf you seek perfection in sugar confection,
well, there's something new on the scene.
A mouthful of cheer, a sweet without peer.
(SlNGlNG) A musical morsel supreme
Toot sweets, toot sweets
The candies you whistle
The whistles you eat
Toot sweets, toot sweets
The eatable, tweetable treats
Toot sweets, toot sweets
The toot of a flute with the flavor of fruit
Toot sweets, toot sweets
no longer need candy be mute
Don't waste your pucker on some all-day sucker
And don't try a toffee or cream
If you seek perfection in sugar confection
Well, there's something new on the scene
That mouthful of cheer
That sweet without peer
That musical morsel supreme That musical morsel supreme
BOTH: Toot sweets, toot sweets
A bonbon to blow on at last has been found
Toot sweets, toot sweets
With tweetable, eatable sound
No! Take it away!
Father, please.
(TOOTS)
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHlNG)
He likes it!
(ALL CHEERlNG)
(SlNGlNG) Their value is intrinsic
Surpass any mint stick
BOTH: Or marshmallow mouthful you munch
Though licorice is chewy
And gumdrops are gooey
And chocolate is charming to crunch
That savory fife
That sweet of your life
It's clearly the best of the bunch
Toot sweets, toot sweets
That savory fife
That sweet of your life
Is clearly the best of the bunch
Toot sweets, toot sweets
A bonbon to blow on at last has been found
Toot sweets, toot sweets
The treat that's so tweetable
Lusciously eatable
With that unbeatable
(ALL TOOTlNG)
(BARKS)
(ALL BARKlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(DOGS BARKlNG)
(WHlSTLES HlGH NOTE)
Sound
Get out of here! Go away!
(ALL CLAMORlNG)
What's going on?
Get those dogs out of here!
Edison, no!
Edison ! Edison !
Children ! JEMlMA: Edison !
Edison !
lt's entirely your fault. l'll send for the police.
(EXCLAlMS)
Daddy.
Now, why aren't you two asleep?
Don't be sad, Daddy.
lt wasn't your fault.
lt was all those mean, old dogs.
Children,
about the car. . .
You see,
30 shillings is pretty hard to come by.
And when l do get any money, l need it for my inventions.
Well, there isn't any left.
Jeremy and l have been thinking.
lt's our treasure chest.
These things are enormously valuable.
Look, an ivory tusk.
JEREMY: That must be worth a fortune.
JEMlMA: And diamonds.
And a golden crown.
lt's probably King Alfred's.
Of course, it needs cleaning up a little.
Take them, Daddy. You can sell them.
And never mind about the car. You can spend it all on your inventions.
Thank you, children.
All these wonderful things,
they're very precious.
But l'm afraid other people wouldn't appreciate them.
Why not, Daddy?
Because other people don't see things the way you do.
Come on, now. Let's go to bed.
And don't you worry.
Things are going to come right somehow.
(GENTLE MUSlC TlNKLlNG)
(SlNGlNG) a gentle breeze
from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows
o'er Lullaby Bay
It fills the sails
of boats that are waiting
Waiting to sail your worries away
It isn't far
to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the quay
The winds of night
so softly are sighing
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain
Wave goodbye to cares of the day
And watch your boat
from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away
from Lullaby Bay
(ClRCUS MARCH PLAYlNG DlSTANTLY)
All the lovely colors. Two for the price of one.
Get your balloons here! (TOOTlNG HORN)
MAN: Hurry, hurry, hurry along now.
Don't miss these lovely toffee apples!
Hurry along now! Get your toffee apples at 8p each.
Thank you very much, young man. Any more for any more?
Which one of you lovely ladies and gentlemen
would like a splendid, automatic haircut?
l've stood in this marketplace for 25 years.
l do not profess to make dead men talk!
(LOUDLY) Hey, now, here you go then. Who's for an automatic haircut?
Only three pence a time.
You may have long hair, you may have short hair, sir,
you may have straight hair, it makes no difference
to the Potts automatic and hygienic,
electronic hair-cutting machine!
(DlNGlNG)
(CLAMORlNG)
Come on. You could do with a haircut.
Cut me hair? That's where me strength is.
Excuse me, sir, you look like a man who could do with a haircut.
Bah ! Yeah, go on ! Go on.
Come on, sit down. Hold that, then.
My word, you have a lot of hair.
Would you like an estimate, sir?
(PEOPLE LAUGHlNG) Very funny. Go on, get on with it.
You just sit tight, sir, while l lower this hair-cutting machine.
There we are. You just relax, we'll have you finished in a bit.
l feel like a real right nana sitting here.
No, you look lovely, Cyril. lt's going to be smashing.
You keep your eyes on that geezer.
Yeah, all right, then.
What's going on?
lt's all right, Cyril, it's all right.
Nothing to worry about, sir, a little friction to start.
lt tickles!
Oh, you always say that, Cyril.
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Oh ! Oh ! Oh !
Cyril, you're smoking !
l'm on fire!
(SCREAMS)
Stop it! Oh !
Excuse me!
Me head's on fire!
lt's all right, sir.
(GASPS)
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
What you done? Give me a mirror. Let's have a look.
A mirror? l'll go home and get you one.
Me hair! Look at me hair!
Where is he? l'll kill him !
There he is, mister!
Cyril !
l'll smash your teeth down your throat!
You !
Come on, you're too fat to catch him !
Oi ! Big bonce!
Get out of here.
(EXCLAlMS)
There he is! Get out of my way!
Oi !
Here, hurry up. We're on.
Get out of the way! Get out of it!
(MUSlC STARTlNG)
(SlNGlNG) a gentleman's got a walking stick A seaman's got a gaff
And the merry men of Robin Hood They used a quarterstaff
On the Spanish plains, inside their canes They hide their ruddy swords
But we make do with an old bamboo And everyone applauds
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
Me old bamboo, me old bamboo
You better never bother with me old bamboo
You can have me hat or me bumbershoot
But you better never bother with me old bamboo
When punting on the beautiful Thames
You use a sturdy pole
To protect their fair complexion
Ladies use a parasol
It's useful in the underbrush
To have a hefty spear
Right! But what we do with an old bamboo
Makes everybody cheer
One, two, three
Me old bamboo, me old bamboo
You better never bother with me old bamboo
You can have me hat or me bumbershoot
But you better never bother with me old bamboo
Have a go, mate!
A flier in an aerial plane
He steers it with a stick He does?
A collier in the pits of Wales
He leans upon his pick That's right
now every wheel of an automobile Revolves around a shaft
But what we do with an old bamboo Makes everyone go daft
And one, two
Me old bamboo, me old bamboo
You better never bother with me old bamboo
You can have me hat or me bumbershoot
But you better never bother with me old bamboo
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
And a-one, two, three, four
And a-five and six and seven
Me old bamboo, me old bamboo
You better never bother with me old bamboo
You can have me hat or me bumbershoot
But you better never bother with me old bamboo
You better never bother with me old bamboo
(AUDlENCE CHEERlNG)
Thank you. Here, thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
(HONKlNG)
CHlLDREN: lt's Daddy! lt's Daddy! He's got the car!
Look! l've got it!
He's got the car! He's got the car!
Come on ! Come on !
Come on !
(HONKlNG)
Hello! BOTH: The car!
(LAUGHS)
What do you think of this? lsn't she a beauty?
Oh, Daddy! Oh !
That's a nice pile of junk you got there, my boy.
Well, it needs a little work, but there's a fine engine under here.
GRANDPA: lt doesn't go, though, does it?
No, not yet, but it will. lt will.
You can make it go, can't you, Daddy?
Well, l'm gonna give it a try.
All right, come on, everybody, put a hand to the wheel.
George, give us a hand here, will you? Yes, sir.
Okay, heave!
JEMlMA: We're off! We're off! Hooray!
Comfortable, Grandpa?
(BARKlNG)
Won't work, of course. Another catastrophe.
Left hand down. JEREMY: Come on, Grandpa, push !
Watch it, Jeremy. Mind the bicycle.
JEMlMA: Push.
Good. Keep coming, Jeremy. That's it. Keep coming.
Look out, Edison.
Watch out, Edison. Look out, Edison.
That's it. Keep coming.
Good. Whoa! That's it. Whoa!
All right, governor. Many, many thanks, George.
Right. Now. . .
Can we stay and watch, Daddy? Yes!
No, come on, my dears, we'd better go.
You know what your dad's like when he's working.
JEMlMA: But, Grandpa, we wanted to stay and watch.
GRANDPA: Come back in the house, darling.
l'll make you a nice cup of tea.
Don't overdo it, will you, my boy?
Right, Grandpa. You might exhaust yourself.
(CHUCKLES)
(CLANGlNG)
(SAWlNG)
(WHlRRlNG)
Come on !
"And the big brown bear
"came lolloping over the mountain.
"'No, no,' the princess cried.
(HUMMlNG)
(WHlSTLlNG)
(HUMMlNG)
"And the big brown bear came lolloping over the mountain."
(CLANKlNG)
(CLANKlNG STOPS)
(CLANKlNG CONTlNUES)
(BOTH SlGHlNG)
lt's awfully quiet in there.
Come on, children, breakfast is ready.
He's been there for days!
Will you please come and have your breakfast?
But Daddy said the car would be finished today.
Darling, you'll be waiting a month of Sundays before he's finished that.
Come on. Be good children. Come on.
(HONKlNG)
(WHlSTLES)
That's Daddy! The car. He's finished the car!
Gosh !
Oh !
Well, what do you think of her?
JEMlMA: She's the most beautiful thing l ever saw in my life!
lt's wonderful ! Oh, Daddy, you're so clever.
Oh, yes. Can we go for a drive?
For a drive? A drive. A drive.
l have a better idea. How about a picnic?
BOTH: Hooray! A picnic! A picnic.
All right? Let's get cracking.
You get the basket out of the workshop.
Get in, Jemima. Hooray! Hooray!
Hurry! Mind the woodwork. Mind the woodwork.
(HONKlNG) Don't touch. Don't touch the horn.
Here's the basket, Daddy.
Oh, yes. Just put it on the back. All right.
Now. Don't touch that.
BOTH: Grandfather! Come on.
We're going on a picnic.
Get aboard, Grandpa. Come on, come on.
lt'll never go, my dears.
Not if he's had anything to do with it.
(ENGlNE STARTlNG)
But it is going !
Hooray!
Then it'll never stop. Anyway, it's far too hot.
Where are you going?
Me? l'm off to Alaska, me boy. Cheerio!
BOTH: Goodbye, Grandpa! Come on, Daddy!
All right. Come on ! Come on !
We're off! Hooray! We're off! We're off!
Sit down, Jemima, sit down.
Are you ready? Yes!
Here we go!
Hooray!
(HONKlNG)
Mind your back, Grandpa.
Bye, Grandpa.
(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)
Nasty, smelly things, motorcars!
(CAR CHUGGlNG)
What a funny noise it's making !
lt's talking to us. All engines talk.
What's it saying?
lt's saying, chitty, chitty, chitty, chitty.
ALL: Chitty, chitty, chitty, chitty, chitty, chitty.
Bang, bang !
Chitty, chitty, chitty, chitty, bang, bang !
ALL: Chitty, chitty, bang, bang !
Chitty, chitty, bang, bang ! Chitty, chitty, bang, bang !
(SlNGlNG) Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, what we'll do
Near, far, in our motorcar
Oh, what a happy time we'll spend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, what we'll do
Near, far, in our motorcar
Oh, what a happy time we'll spend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
You're sleek as a thoroughbred
Your seats are a featherbed
You'll turn everybody's head today
We'll glide on our motor trip
With pride in our ownership
The envy of all we survey
Oh, Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And Chitty, in Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, what we'll do
near Chitty, far Chitty, in our motorcar
Oh, what a happy time we'll spend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Fine four-fendered Chitty Chitty friend
Daddy! Look out!
You'll find a slight squeeze on the hooter
an excellent safety precaution, Miss Scrumptious.
Never mind about that.
How am l supposed to get out of here?
Well, looks to me as if you have to walk.
Or swim.
What? ln this dress? Oh, don't be ridiculous, Mr. Potts.
(SlGHS)
Come on. (STAMMERlNG) What are you gonna do?
l'm gonna carry you.
Oh, dear, must you?
Well, unless you'd rather ride piggyback.
All right. You may carry me.
Good.
Wait, wait, wait. My handbag. Oh !
Whoa! Oh !
lt's all right.
Thank you. Not at all.
We're going to the seaside.
On a picnic.
Come with us. Please.
Well, l'm hardly in the mood for a picnic just now.
Well, you needn't worry about your car.
l can have Mr. Coggins tow it out.
Well, l. . . We've got sausage tarts.
And marmalade rolls.
l'm afraid l got 'em a little mixed up.
(CHUCKLlNG)
(CAR CHUGGlNG)
What an unusual car.
Daddy made it.
Oh. And it actually goes?
lt's called Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
That's a curious name for a motorcar.
But that's the sound it makes.
Listen.
(CAR CHUGGlNG)
(SlNGlNG) Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And our pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang loves us too
High, low, anywhere we go
On Chitty Chitty we depend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
You're sleek as a thoroughbred
Your seats are a featherbed
You'll turn everybody's head today
We'll glide on our motor trip
With pride in our ownership
The envy of all we survey
Oh, Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And, Chitty, our Chitty pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang loves us too
High Chitty, low Chitty, anywhere we go
On Chitty Chitty we depend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Fine four-fendered Chitty Chitty friend
BOTH: Hooray!
(EXCLAlMS)
(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)
CHlLDREN: Hooray!
(LAUGHlNG)
Oops!
l'm so glad you came. lt's much more fun with two grownups.
Truly Scrumptious.
You know, even if we didn't know your name,
we could have guessed it.
Oh?
You had to be called something lovely.
Like Yum Yum !
Or Angel Cake.
Or Toot Sweets.
Yes. Toot Sweets.
(LAUGHS) Toot Sweets? Oh, no.
(SlNGlNG) Toot sweets sound like what they are
So do lollies in a lollipop jar
Gingerbread men have a gingerbread sound
We've found
Sugarplum, cinnamon, and lemon tart
Tell you what they are right from the start
And your name does the same for you
By coincidence, Truly Scrumptious
You're truly, truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait
When you're near us
It's so delicious
Honest, Truly
You're the answer to our wishes
Truly Scrumptious
Though we may seem presumptuous
never, never ever go away
Our hearts beat so unruly
Because we love you truly
Aw!
Honest, Truly
We do
CHlLDREN: Daddy! Daddy!
(CHlLDREN LAUGHlNG)
Boo!
(EXCLAlMS)
(LAUGHlNG)
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as the breeze across the bay
When you're smiling
It's so delicious
So beguiling
You're the answer to my wishes
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
And I shan't forget this lovely day
My heart beats so unruly
I also love you truly
Honest, truly
I do
Come on. Hey, wait for me!
Mr. Potts.
Somebody call?
Oh. (GROANS)
Oh ! Oh, l'm sorry.
(CHUCKLlNG) That's all right.
What are you doing?
Oh, just tinkering.
Oh.
You know, Mr. Potts, you have two wonderful children.
Why, thank you. l must agree with you there.
lsn't it beautiful?
Lovely. Just lovely.
Jeremy, it's not nice to peek.
l'm not peeking, l'm looking.
Do you think they like each other?
Of course they do.
Do you think they're going to get married?
Has he kissed her yet?
Not yet.
Well, just as soon as he kisses her
then they'll have to get married.
JEMlMA: Jeremy, what are you doing?
JEREMY: l'm keeping a lookout for pirates.
There aren't any pirates around here, are there, Truly?
Oh, l'm sure there are. Hundreds of them.
'Course there are.
This is where they bury their treasure, isn't it, Daddy?
Mmm-hmm.
Tell us a story about pirates, Daddy.
A story about pirates, huh? Well, let me see.
A boat! l can see a boat!
A boat?
Did you say, "a boat"? That isn't just any old boat out there.
No? No?
(lN GERMAN ACCENT) No. That is a private yacht of the notorious Baron Bomburst.
Baron Bomburst? Baron Bomburst?
You have never heard of Baron Bomburst, ruler of Vulgaria?
The most evil man in the world !
CHlLDREN: Oh ! Yeah.
And he has sailed all the way to England
because he has heard tell of a fantastic motorcar
built by that brilliant inventor Caractacus Potts.
Hooray! Hooray!
Yes, hooray!
And he has come to steal the car
and take it back to Vulgaria with him.
CHlLDREN: No! Yeah.
MAN: (EXCLAlMS) Yes!
That car!
MAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
l want it! l want it! l want it! l want it!
But, Your Excellency. . .
Are you giving me an argument?
No, Your Excellency. Stand by the boats!
Man the grappling hooks.
And load the cannon !
Load the cannon ! (CLAMORlNG)
He's awful.
He's terrible.
Not only that, he isn't even nice.
But he can't steal our lovely car!
You won't let him, will you, Daddy?
Look! They're getting closer.
We've got to get away!
Start the car.
Quickly, Daddy, before they get here.
Well, now, that's easier said than done.
But why, Daddy? Why?
Well, l'll tell you.
What none of us have noticed is while we've been sitting here,
the tide has been coming in. Now, we're completely cut off.
(ALL GASPlNG)
What are we going to do?
Do hurry, Mr. Potts! Now don't panic.
Everyone, stay calm ! Quickly, Daddy.
Quickly. Hurry up.
Look! They are completely cut off by the tide.
(ALL LAUGHlNG) They will all drown !
l haven't seen a good drowning in years!
ls there anything l can do to help?
The throttle. Push the throttle lever.
JEREMY: Hurry, Daddy! Hurry!
Quickly, Daddy, before they get here!
No, not that one, the other one!
lt's no good. lt won't start!
We're gonna have to swim for it. Come on, Jemima.
We must. Come on. Come on, Jeremy. We have to.
Come on, everybody over the side.
Quickly! (GASPS)
lt's starting to change!
CARACTACUS: Everybody, hold on !
TRULY: lt's unbelievable!
Mr. Potts, it's so clever!
This is impossible!
But you built it!
lt's a magic car. You always said it was a magic car.
l did? JEREMY: Yes. Look, it's like a boat!
l knew Chitty would save us!
Hang on, everybody! We're off!
(ALL CHEERlNG)
A floating car? What do you think of that, Chancellor?
Yeah, Baron. A car floating, floating on the water.
This, in my whole life long, it never could be seen, never, never.
(CHEERlNG)
lt's uncategorical !
(LAUGHlNG)
A fuel-burning oracle.
Phantasmagorical machine!
(SlNGlNG) lt's more than spectacular
To use the vernacular
It's wizard It's smashing
It's keen
Oh, Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And, Chitty, our Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang loves us too
High Chitty, low Chitty, anywhere we go
On Chitty Chitty we depend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
(CANNON FlRlNG)
They're firing at us!
All right. We'll show them something.
Follow that car! Follow that car!
My word !
l want the car! l want that car! l must have it!
(CHEERlNG)
Follow the car! Stop that car!
After them ! Faster!
l want the car! l must have it!
Action stations, everybody. We're going ashore!
(CLAMORlNG)
Get out!
Where are my two spies?
Ah, there you are.
Now, then, l have a secret mission for you.
You will go ashore,
and you will capture that motorcar, understand? Good.
But if you fail,
l will cut off your heads.
Out.
l want that car!
Now, then, where are we?
l have here a map.
l know where we are, stupid ! We are in England !
And when we are in England, what do we do?
We play cricket! We play. . .
No. We dress like Englishmen.
BOTH: A-ha!
Remarkable weather we are having for the time of year.
Do you not think so, Cuthbort?
lndubitably, Basil.
You know, Mr. Potts. . .
Caractacus.
lt's a pretty silly name, isn't it?
Oh, l don't think so.
You know, l really owe you an apology.
You're more than just a father to those two children.
Oh, yes. Nursemaid, private tutor,
chief, cook, and bottle washer. Everything.
Except what they really need.
Well, it's been quite a day.
Yes, certainly has.
Thank you, (WHlSPERlNG) and say goodbye to the children for me.
Yes, l will.
l hope we'll see you again.
l hope so, too. Goodbye.
Goodbye.
(SlNGlNG) This lovely, lonely man
I've only known a day
I look at him
And cannot look away
Oh, what a love
Oh, what a lovely, lonely man
I've met so many men
So easy to forget
I thought I'd grown immune to them
And yet
He's such a love
He's such a lovely, lonely man
How did he touch my heart?
How did this feeling start?
This glow that feels
so warm inside
This sudden summer storm inside
My life now has a plan
To someday make him see
That I need him
as much as he needs me
Oh, what a love
Oh, what a lovely, lonely man
My life now has a plan
To someday make him see
That I need him
as much as he needs me
Oh, what a love
Oh, what a lovely, lonely man
Oh, how l love
this one and only
man
Quickly! Quickly!
They're coming ! They're coming !
Hurry! They're coming !
Quickly! Quickly!
Come on. Hurry. Come on ! Come on ! They're coming !
Get ready. Get ready. Fire!
Stop, stop, stop!
This way.
No! Stop! Stop, stop.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(HONKlNG)
They're trying to get past, Daddy. Fine.
Go on. Get over, you half-wit.
lt's Father. And he's in one of his tempers.
Oh, that'll be a change.
You'd better let him pass.
l can't. There isn't room.
Get out of the way. Move over, you idiot!
Turn off here.
(HONKlNG)
What do you think you're doing?
We've got him !
(BANGlNG)
Drive away from here.
Whoa!
LORD SCRUMPTlOUS: You nincompoops!
l'll have you sent away for the rest of your natural lives.
l suppose you blue-faced baboons
have some explanation for this outrage.
You stupid fool !
Why? What have l done?
What have you. . . Ah, ah !
l have an idea.
Now, remember, we are supposed to be English gentlemen.
So let us try and behave like English gentlemen.
(AGREElNG lN GERMAN)
So open the door!
Caracatacacus Potts. lnventor.
Typical English eccentric. That must be the inventor.
Hmm.
Pardon me for protruding,
but have l the pleasure of addressing Herr... (CLEARS THROAT) Mr. Potts?
Yes, that's me. What do you want?
You selling something?
l don't want nothing. Excuse me.
l'm off to Africa.
Africa. (CHUCKLES)
That was a ruse to put us off the scent.
l know where he has gone. Where? Where?
He has gone into his laboratory.
Quick! The portable wireless transmitter!
(AGREElNG lN GERMAN)
(MAN SPEAKlNG GERMAN ON TRANSMlTTER)
This is X speaking.
Schrecks? No. X.
Lecks? X, as in. . .
Eggs and bacon. Eggs and ba. . .
Send transport immediately.
lt's here! lt's here.
Quickly. Quickly!
No, Sherman ! That way!
That way. Ow!
Quickly! This way! Quickly.
Lower the ladder.
Get up the ladder! Quickly. Get up.
Ow!
(lNDlSTlNCT)
Quickly! Up! Take it up! Up. Up.
Now over here! Up. Up.
Wait for me!
God !
Hello! What's your game, then?
(ALL CHATTERlNG)
What's going on? Oi, l'm flying !
Look! JEREMY: What's that?
JEMlMA: lt's a big balloon.
JEREMY: lt's a zeppelin.
What's that underneath?
That's. . . That's Grandpa's hut.
But what's it doing up there?
Well, l don't know.
Help me! Caractacus, my boy. l'm being kidnapped !
Grandpa, what do you think you're doing? You come down here!
Caractacus! My boy, it's me, your own father!
Caractacus! They're not getting away with that.
Grandpa! Hold tight, back there.
Sit down, Jeremy. Quickly, Daddy, quickly!
Hurry, Daddy.
Caractacus!
Grandpa!
CARACTACUS: Hold on, Grandpa! We're coming !
Help!
JEMlMA: Come back, Grandpa!
Hey, Grandpa, come back. What do you think you're doing?
l'm being abducted by foreigners! Caractacus!
Hey!
Grandpa!
Faster, Daddy, faster.
Where do they think they're going?
(GASPS) Look out!
JEMlMA: Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy!
(CHITTY CHITTY BAnG BAnG PLAYlNG)
Grandpa! Grandpa!
Where do they think they're going?
(GASPS) Look out!
JEMlMA: Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy!
What's happening?
Look. Look at that.
lt's fantastic.
Oh !
You're a genius.
lt's nothing, really.
(LAUGHlNG)
Look! There they are!
JEREMY: Come on, Daddy, after them.
Right, we'll catch them up.
Oh !
Oh, we've lost them.
We'll find them, all right.
But what about Grandpa?
Don't worry about Grandpa. Grandpa can take care of himself.
(SlNGlNG) This is livin', this is style
This is elegance by the mile
Oh, the posh, posh traveling life
The traveling life for me
First cabin and captain's table regal company
Whenever I'm bored, I travel abroad but ever so properly
Port out, starboard home
Posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh
We're losing height.
Jettison ballast!
The hands that hold the scepters
Every head that holds a crown
They'll always give their all for me
They'll never let me down
I'm on my way to far away
Ta-ta and toodle-loo
And fare thee well and bon voyage Arrivederci too
Oh, the posh, posh traveling life
The traveling life for me
First cabin and captain's table regal company
Pardon the dust of the upper crust
Fetch us a cup of tea
Port out, starboard home
Posh with a capital P-O-S-H, posh
(ALL CLAMORlNG)
Jettison !
In every foreign strand I land
The royal trumpets toot me
The royal welcome mat is out
They 21 -gun salute me
But monarchies are constantly commanding me to call
Last month I missed a mufti
Well, you can't oblige them all
Oh, the posh, posh traveling life
The traveling life for me
(VOCALlZlNG)
We're still losing height?
There must be something else we can throw out.
But there's nothing else we can throw out.
There's nothing else we. . .
(CRYlNG)
No, no, no! No, no, no!
You just dropped someone!
l can't swim !
(YELLlNG)
Come back. Come back!
Come back! Come back!
Oh, the posh, posh traveling life
The traveling life for me
First cabin and captain's table regal company
When I'm at the helm
The world's my realm
And I do it stylishly
Port out, starboard home
Posh with a capital P
(SPEAKlNG GERMAN)
What do we do now?
Start swimming !
l don't swim.
Then start drowning !
GRANDPA: P-O-S-H
P-O-S-H, posh
Hello.
Where are we?
Somewhere over the North Sea, l think.
Don't you know where we're going?
No, l don't, but Chitty does.
l think we're in pretty good hands.
BARON: Good morning. This is your Captain speaking.
We hope you had a pleasant trip.
ln a few moments we will be landing in Vulgaria.
Where? Vulgaria.
Oh. So, please, fasten your seat belts.
And no smoking. Thank you.
You're welcome.
Speed, four and a half knots, sir.
Wind, east-southeast, sir.
Brigade, attention !
(PLAYlNG FANFARE)
Present arms!
We have a guest. Welcome him.
Jawohl, your Excellency.
Order arms!
Ah, Professor Potts. Please, to walk this way.
Present arms!
(BAND PLAYlNG MARCH)
On behalf of Her Majesty The Queen, l'd like. . .
Oi ! (WHlSTLES)
Excuse me.
You're early!
(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTERlNG)
Oh !
(LAUGHS)
Down the table and in the pocket.
Cheat, cheat, cheat.
Ah, Professor Potts!
Professor?
Vulgaria welcomes the brilliant Professor Potts,
inventor extraordinaire.
Excuse me, sir. There seems to be some sort of mistake.
What?
You are not Professor Potts, the inventor?
Well, l. . . Executioner!
ALL: Executioner!
What would you like me to invent, sir?
l will show you. My horse!
MAN: Get the horse for his Excellency.
(EXCLAlMS)
Giddy-up.
(ALL CHEERlNG)
(LAUGHlNG)
(BARON EXCLAlMlNG)
How proud you look on that fine horse.
The most beautiful toy you ever bought me, my darling.
But who is this?
This is Professor Potts from England.
How do you do, madam?
And l think we have a surprise for you.
Herr Professor, come on.
(BlDDlNG FAREWELL lN FRENCH)
Well, what do you think, professor?
Everything you need. And these will be your assistants.
And here, this is the Baronial car.
Can you make this car float?
Float? Like amphibial English moty car,
float over the cresty wave of the water.
Yes, sir, but you see, it's not that easy without my laboratory.
Oh, l have already thought of that.
Here is your lavatory.
(LAUGHS)
lf you succeed in making the car float,
l will make you privy councilor.
(LAUGHS)
But if you fail,
l will stuff your head with sauerkraut and feed you to the dogs!
Feedy dorribles, snarly (SNORTS) horribold.
You have got 24 hours!
Twenty-four hours and worky nosy grindstone.
(CHUCKLES) Proper card he is.
Odd sense of humor. Stuff me head with sauerkraut.
The Baron never makes jokes.
Look at us. We've been here for years and years.
l came here to repair the telephone.
That was 24 years ago.
They have terrible tortures.
The thumbscrew and rack.
They stretch you and stretch you !
When l first came here, l was a midget.
(SCOFFS)
Come on. Me? Floating car?
Well, that's impossible!
Nothing's impossible.
Now, that's what my son's always saying.
We'll help you, won't we, lads?
nil desperandum. We'll succeed. You'll see.
Courage, man, courage.
(SlNGlNG) Every bursted bubble has a glory
Each abysmal failure makes a point
Every glowing path that goes astray
Shows you how to find a better way
So every time you stumble, never grumble
next time you'll bumble even less
For up from the ashes
Up from the ashes
Grow the roses of success
Grow the roses
Grow the roses of success
Oh, yes!
Grow the roses
Those rosy roses
From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success
Yes. l know, but he wants it to float.
lt will !
For every big mistake you make Be grateful
Hear, hear!
That mistake you'll never make again
No, sir
Every shiny dream that fades and dies
Generates the steam for two more tries
There's magic in the wake of a fiasco
Correct!
It gives you that chance to second guess
Oh, yes!
Then up from the ashes
Up from the ashes
Grow the roses of success
Grow the roses Grow the roses
Grow the roses of success
Grow the roses Those rosy roses
From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success
Disaster didn't stymie Louis Pasteur
No, sir
Edison took years to see the light
Right
Alexander Graham knew failure well
He took a lot of knocks to ring that bell
So when it gets distressing, it's a blessing
Onward and upward you must press
Yes, yes
Till up from the ashes Up from the ashes
Grow the roses of success
Grow the roses
Grow the roses of success
Grow the roses
Those rosy roses
From the ashes of disaster
grow the roses of success
Start the engine! Success!
Batten the hatches! Success!
Man the shrouds!
Lift the anchor!
Success!
Oh, Daddy, we'll never find him.
We must keep looking.
Look, look! What's that down there?
CARACTACUS: A-ha!
Let's have a look.
Look!
The zeppelin.
JEREMY: We've found Grandpa!
CARACTACUS: No, not yet, we haven't.
(PEOPLE EXCLAlMlNG)
BARON: What's that?
No, no, no. What's happening? MAN: Remarkable.
Your Excellency! Your Excellency!
We're being attacked !
Attacked?
Attacked !
That was that terrible Bomburst.
lt certainly was.
Where are they going? Where did they go? Look, it's a car!
Look, that car's flying !
Floating in the heavenly abode, four peoplebodes.
There they are!
Fire! What's the matter with you?
Do you want to destroy my beautiful car?
They're firing at us.
Children. There are children up there.
Children !
We'd better get away from here.
Now, hang on, everybody. We're coming in to land.
Your Excellency, it's landing in the village.
ln the village.
Call out the guards!
Everybody, charge!
And call out the child catcher.
Charge.
Charge! Charge!
Oh.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
Let me in !
JEMlMA: Hooray! We've landed ! Hooray!
We've landed ! Hooray! Hooray!
lsn't Chitty wonderful?
Aren't you clever, Daddy?
Yes, he certainly is.
All right. You all stay here. l'm going up to that castle.
We want to come, too.
We want to help you find Grandpa.
Don't you think we ought to stay together?
Maybe you're right. All right, come along.
Come on, children.
TRULY: l wonder where we are.
CARACTACUS: l don't know.
Come on.
Pardon me, sir. The castle?
(ASKlNG lN FRENCH)
(ASKlNG lN GERMAN)
What's the matter with him?
Come on.
What are they staring at?
l don't know.
lt seems to be the children.
What's the matter with them? Haven't they seen children before?
Haven't you noticed? There aren't any children.
Not one.
(FANFARE PLAYlNG)
What's going on? What's happening?
What's. . . Hey, you. What's happening? What's going on?
What is it? Soldiers! Soldiers!
Hey, you there.
Get those children in here.
Would you mind telling me what's happening?
Quickly, before the soldiers get here.
Soldiers? Come, Fräulein.
Quickly, quickly. Get inside.
Just a minute. Would somebody
mind telling me what's going on? Please don't talk.
We must get those children out of sight.
Jeremy!
lf the soldiers find them, they will take them away.
But why? What for?
lt's the law.
Nobody's allowed to have children in Vulgaria.
Not allowed? What about these toys?
The Baroness, she hates children.
Who could hate children?
Quickly, down there!
Whatever you do, don't make a sound.
(FANFARE PLAYlNG)
l want every house in this square
to be searched from top to bottom !
Jawohl, Captain !
The first section, step out over there and search !
The second section, over there and search. Quick!
Section three, over there. Quick! Search !
Search everywhere!
Giddy-up! Giddy-up!
There are children here somewhere.
l can smell them.
A-ha!
Captain, l think we've got them.
Lieutenant. You two men, break down this door.
Quick! Quick! Yes, sir!
Get this door open. Quickly!
All right! l'm coming ! l'm coming ! Open the door!
Break the door down ! Quickly!
You have no right to come into here. You've no right.
Search the place! Search ! Search !
A-ha!
They are here somewhere. l can feel it in my bones.
There are children here somewhere.
Children? ln the toy shop? Such a notion.
l mean. . . What do you think you're you doing?
That's something special for the Baron's birthday.
Let me tell you, toymaker.
This nose of mine has never failed me,
and if there are children here, my friend,
you will die.
(LAUGHS)
A-ha!
(CHUCKLES)
Quick! Open it up! Get down there and search the cellar!
The Baroness will have your teeth for a necklace
and your eyeballs for earrings.
Nobody down here, sir.
Fool ! ldiot! Out of my way!
You have to know where to look.
Like cockroaches, they get under the floors,
in the cracks in the walls, in the woodwork.
l don't trust a man who makes toys
in a land where children are forbidden.
Every toy l make is exclusively for his Excellency, the Baron.
SOLDlER: Captain, Captain, the flying car!
We've captured the flying car!
CAPTAlN: Come on ! Let's go!
Uh-huh !
(ALL CHEERlNG)
(HONKlNG)
Take this car to the castle!
They can't take Chitty, Daddy.
Daddy, do something.
They can't take Chitty away.
What are you going to do?
Well, l don't know, but l'm not just gonna stand here.
Are you mad?
Are you going to take on the whole Vulgarian Army single-handed?
What kind of a country is this? No children !
Everybody terrified out of their lives.
My friend, take some good advice.
Take your children and your good lady and get out of Vulgaria.
And leave Grandpa up in the castle?
Oh, no. We came to get him out, that's what we're gonna do.
Just tell me how to get there.
Look, l'm only a toymaker.
And if l don't finish this in time
for the Baron's birthday tomorrow,
l shall be a dead toymaker.
All right. l'll go myself. Truly, you stay here with the children.
All right. All right.
You don't know what you're letting yourself in for, believe me.
Here's one for you, one for you. Thank you.
Thank you, toymaker.
Keep them out of sight, please!
You be good children. And you do what Truly tells you.
Yes, Daddy. We will.
TOYMAKER: Well, are you coming?
(SOFTLY) Come.
Quickly, quickly, quickly.
There isn't a scrap of food in the place.
l'm so hungry, my tummy hurts.
Mine's making funny noises.
l simply must find something for you.
Now, if you promise me not to move from here until l come back. . .
We promise, don't we, Jemima? Yes.
Now, you remember, you stay right here.
To get in that way, you would have to be a mouse
or a magician.
We should go down now before a sentry sees us.
Come. Come.
(ALL CHATTERlNG EXClTEDLY)
Ah, the flying car!
At last it's mine!
Send for the inventor!
(ALL CLAMORlNG)
Then, fly!
Fly. Yes, fly.
Come on, fly.
Fly, fly, fly. Oh.
l command you to fly!
Bring him over here. Over here.
Hello. What's this doing here?
You're the inventor.
Make this car fly.
Make it fly. Go get in.
(HONKS) (ALL EXCLAlMlNG)
Stand back, everyone! We are going to fly. Stand back.
Yoo-hoo, Bombie! Wait for me!
No, every time l want to have a little fun, she turns up.
There you are. Get in. My darling, we're going for a fly.
How exciting. Fly. How thrilling.
Very well. Come on. Hurry up.
Yes, yes, l'm doing my best, sir.
Now just a minute. Here's one that we haven't tried yet.
Here we go, my beloved.
Hold on !
(SCREAMlNG)
lsn't it exciting, my dear?
(BARONESS EXCLAlMlNG)
Oh !
(LAUGHlNG)
You're a genius. My guns! Bring my guns!
Don't worry. l'll get you down.
l've been waiting for this for 20 years. Hold on, my love.
Are you still there, my love? Don't move.
(GUNSHOT) (SCREAMlNG)
There she is, Your Excellency.
Oh ! Oh ! My God. My diamonds.
Are you all right, my dear?
l'm all right, my dumpling.
Good.
Never mind. l'll get her the next time.
(BELLS TlNKLlNG)
Here we are, children. Come and get your lollipops.
Lollipops. Come along, my little ones.
Lollipops.
lce cream, chocolate, all free today.
Listen.
Come along, children. Lollipops.
What's that?
Children, where are you?
l know you're here somewhere.
l've lots of lovely goodies for you.
Jeremy, you mustn't.
Lollipops.
And all free today.
Cherry pies. Cream puffs.
lce cream. Treacle tarts.
Treacle tarts!
And ice creams.
And all free!
Come along, kiddie-winkies.
Come on !
But, Jeremy, Truly said we mustn't. . .
We'll get Truly some as well. Come on.
Mr. Man !
(SPEAKlNG GERMAN)
Hey! Wait!
Children ! Come back here!
Wait! Wait!
Come along, my little dears, my little mice. Come to me.
What will it be? lce cream?
Yes, ice cream !
Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla?
Strawberry! Chocolate!
lt's all inside. Yes, strawberry!
Come along, my little dears. Goodie! Come on. Yes!
Come inside. Not a penny to pay. Yes, come on.
Get in. Go inside, my little dears!
(BOTH SCREAMlNG)
No. Help, help! Help!
Help!
(LAUGHlNG)
Children ! Children !
CARACTACUS: Truly!
Help! Help! Help! Help!
What is it? What's happened?
The children ! He took the children !
Your Excellency!
Let us out! Let us out!
Silence!
Children, Your Highness.
Foreign children. Unique specimens.
You're sure they can't get out?
(CHUCKLES) No, Your Highness.
Perhaps Your Highness would care to examine them.
Nasty little creatures. Very, very treacherous.
Foreign.
(BOTH GROWL) (EXCLAlMS)
Just you wait till our daddy hears about this.
He'll come and blow up the whole castle!
(ALL GASPlNG)
Take them away to the tower.
To the tower!
Nasty, horrid, mean old lady.
And very ugly.
(GASPS)
Oh, she's going ! She's going !
(WHlSTLlNG)
Two hundred feet above us through that solid rock
is the castle of Baron Bomburst.
These are our children.
For 1 2 years, we have hidden them here. Look at them.
They don't know what a tree looks like
or what it is to run or to laugh in the sunshine.
Do you, eh?
(BOY WHlSTLlNG)
Food ! Get the food here.
Come on ! There's bread for everyone.
Look at them. Like little rats,
they run up and down the sewers,
stealing food from the kitchens.
. . .potatoes. Here, catch !
Son ! Son !
l'm looking for my children.
l think they're up there in the castle with their grandfather.
Have you seen anything of them?
No, sir.
A little boy and girl? Yes.
They're locked up in the tower.
And the grandfather?
He's in the dungeon under the castle.
Sir, have you come to help us?
Are you going to take us out of here?
What's your name, son?
Peter, sir.
Well, Peter, you shouldn't be afraid,
even in a terrible place like this,
because there's always hope.
That's what l always tell my children when they're afraid.
(SlNGlNG) a gentle breeze
from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting
Waiting to sail
So close your eyes
on Hushabye Mountain
Wave goodbye
to cares of the day
And watch your boat
from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away
from Lullaby Bay
ls that the only advice you have to offer, my friend? Hmm?
lt's a beautiful dream, Caractacus,
but l don't see how it's gonna help them.
You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get up into that castle.
lt is impossible!
Well, we'll see. Now, everybody listen to me.
You want to get out of here, don't you?
ALL: Yes! Yes!
Tomorrow is Baron Bomburst's birthday, yes?
(ALL BOOlNG)
Well, we're gonna give him a birthday party he'll never forget.
l want everybody to gather around here. l have an idea.
Yes, come in closer.
(ALL CHEERlNG)
All right, quiet!
(SlNGlNG) Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday, dear Bombie...
Don't move. What a picture! Such memories it brings back.
(SPEAKlNG GERMAN)
My little dumpling !
(SPEAKlNG GERMAN)
(SlNGlNG) You're my little chu-chi face
My coot-chi, coot-chi woot-chi little chu-chi face
Every time I look at you
I sigh
And you're my little teddy bear
My lovey lovey dovey little teddy bear
Yoo-hoo!
You're the Apfelstrudel of mein eye
Your chu-chi woot-chi nose
Your chu-chi woot-chi eyes
They set my heart aflutter
Your oot-chi, coot-chi ways
Your oot-chi, coot-chi gaze
Wilts me down like melting butter
You're my little chu-chi face
And you're my teddy bear
Together we're a chu-chi, woot-chi, oot-chi, coot-chi pair
Whatever you may ask becomes my happy task
I only live to serve you
I never will divine what magic made you mine
I only know I don't deserve you
(GASPS)
(LAUGHlNG)
You're my little chu-chi face
And you're my teddy bear
Together we're a chu-chi, woot-chi, oot-chi, coot-chi
Chu-chi Woot-chi
Oot-chi Coot-chi
Chu-chi, woot-chi, oot-chi, coot-chi pair
(PLAYlNG WALTZ)
(PEOPLE LAUGHlNG)
Oh, what a rotten birthday party.
Never mind, my little Bombie.
l have a surprise for you.
Surprises? Oh, l love surprises!
(RAPPlNG ON TABLE)
Sit down quickly.
Summon the toymaker!
Come on ! Come on ! Hurry up! Don't waste time!
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
Your Excellency, may l be permitted to wish you
all you wish yourself on this happy occasion.
Never mind all that. What have you made me for my birthday?
What have l made you? Such a toy!
Such a work of mechanical perfection.
Well, well, well, where is it? Bring it in !
Right away. l'll just get it for you.
Bring in the Baron's birthday present!
(DRUM ROLL)
(FANFARE PLAYlNG)
TOYMAKER: Here, here, here.
This year, Your Excellency, l have surpassed even myself.
Put it down there.
Careful ! Careful with it!
For months, l have been working night und day
perfecting every little detail
to bring you this!
(CROWD GASPlNG)
Dolls? Dolls?
l have hundreds of dolls!
(CRYlNG) No dolls.
But this is not just an ordinary doll, Your Excellency.
(MUSlC TlNKLlNG)
You see?
(SlNGlNG) What do you see?
You people gazing at me
You see a doll on a music box
That's wound by a key
How can you tell
I'm under a spell?
I'm waiting for love's first kiss
You cannot see
How much I long to be free
Turning around on this music box
That's wound by a key
Yearning
While
I'm
Turning around and around
(BARON APPROVlNG lN GERMAN)
(CROWD GASPS)
(PEOPLE CHUCKLlNG lN DELlGHT)
(BAND PLAYlNG LlVELY MUSlC)
(CROWD EXCLAlMlNG)
(MUSlC TlNKLlNG)
(MUSlC STOPS)
(MUSlC RESUMES)
(CROWD LAUGHlNG)
(SlNGlNG) What do you see? Truly Scrumptious
You people gazing at me
You're truly, truly scrumptious
You see a doll on a music box Scrumptious...
That's wound by a key
How can you tell
I'm under a spell?
I'm waiting for love's first kiss
Honest, Truly
You're the answer to my wishes
You cannot see Truly Scrumptious
How much I long to be free
Though I may seem presumptuous
Turning around on this music box
That's wound by a key
Yearning My heart beats so unruly
Yearning Because I love you truly
While I'm Honest, Truly
I do Turning around and around
(ALL CHEERlNG)
Just a minute!
(MOUTHlNG)
(SNEEZES)
(LlVELY MUSlC PLAYlNG)
(ALL LAUGHlNG)
(CROWD EXCLAlMlNG)
(LAUGHS)
Oh, l'm so happy, l could jump for joy!
(ALL CLAMORlNG)
Come on !
Follow me.
(CHlLDREN SHOUTlNG)
Children ! No! No!
(WHlSTLES)
BARON: No! No!
No!
Let me down !
(PEOPLE SCREAMlNG)
Call out the cavalry!
Let me down !
TRULY: Jeremy! CARACTACUS: Jemima!
TRULY: Jeremy!
They could be anywhere.
You look down that way. l'll go this way.
(FANFARE PLAYlNG)
(SHOUTlNG)
Jeremy! Jemima!
Jeremy and Jemima!
Jeremy! Jemima!
lt's Truly! Truly! We're in here!
Don't worry. We'll get you out of here in a minute.
Here! Here, quick. Quick, they're in there.
Children, are you all right?
CHlLDREN: Get us out of here!
We found them. They're in there. Come on. Help me break the door down.
Children, get away from the door.
Children ! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!
(ALL CLAMORlNG)
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMlNG)
(EXCLAlMS)
Let me down !
Ow!
(GASPS)
My Liebchen, are you hurt?
(GROANS) My back is broken.
We must escape through the cellars.
Very well. Come on.
Come on !
Daddy, look at the children.
(WHOOPS)
You stay here.
JEMlMA: Daddy! What are you doing?
Where are all these children coming from?
l thought we had passed a law against children.
Quick. This way. Where are we going?
Quickly. We'll go down here.
(GASPS) No, no. l'll get my clothes dirty.
Don't argue.
(EXCLAlMlNG)
(SCREAMlNG)
Oh, my crown. l lost my crown.
Oh, never mind, my little pumpkin.
Here.
Attack!
No! Daddy!
Look! There's Chitty!
Chitty's come to save us! Hooray!
Hello, a motorcar. What's that doing here?
There's Grandpa. Grandpa!
Caractacus! My boy!
Are you all right?
(CHlLD CATCHER SCREAMlNG)
(PEOPLE CHEERlNG)
(CHlTTY CHUGGlNG)
Oh !
Stand back from the propellers. Keep clear.
Bye!
Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye!
CARACTACUS: And so, after that, Vulgaria became a free country,
and all the children laughed and played in the sunshine,
and they were very, very happy.
And Chitty flew high over the mountains
back to England, everybody safe and sound.
And Daddy and Truly were married.
And lived happily ever after.
Yes.
ls that how the story ends?
lt's getting late. We better get back.
(ENGlNE STARTS)
Well. . .
Goodbye, Jeremy. Goodbye, Jemima.
Goodbye, Truly. Will we see you again?
Oh, l expect so. Goodbye.
Truly.
l'm sorry about the children. l hope they didn't embarrass you.
ln what way?
Why, that silly joke about us getting married.
Well, you know what kids are like. Yes, l understand.
l mean, l don't think they realize how ridiculous that would be.
Ridiculous?
Well, yes. You live in that big house,
your father, the factory and all.
lt's a different world, Truly.
You know, if l said something like that, you'd call me a snob.
l didn't mean. . . Goodbye.
Well, don't you want to ride up front?
Well, that was a fine picnic, wasn't it?
Shall we have another one tomorrow?
With Truly? Yes.
Well, Miss Scrumptious has a lot of social engagements, you know.
Are we ever going to see Truly again, Daddy?
Well, we'll see.
JEREMY: Look, that's Lord Scrumptious' car.
CARACTACUS: Why, l believe it is.
JEMlMA: l wonder what it's doing here.
CARACTACUS: Well, l don't know.
Come on.
Excuse me. Good afternoon.
Are you. . . (MEN SHOUTlNG)
Boom ! Boom ! Boom !
That's wiped out your dashed cavalry.
Yes, sir.
But l have my 2nd lnfantry battalion attacking here from the rear.
Attacking from the rear? That's dashed unethical.
Artillery, prepare to open fire.
Fire!
GRANDPA: Number one battalion, prepare to advance!
What's going on here?
There you are, young Potts. Been waiting for you.
And that wiped out your artillery!
You're a cad, Potts.
Would someone mind telling me what's going on?
Fancy you being old Bungie's son.
Bungie? Bungie Potts, best batman l ever had.
Weren't you, Potts? Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
You mean that you were. . . My boy.
Allow me to introduce to you my Brigadier.
Your Brigadier? Potts. . .
How about some more tea? Yes, sir. Right away, sir.
As for you, young man, there's a very good chance you may be very rich.
CARACTACUS: Very rich? What do you mean?
Those confounded sweets of yours.
Useless for humans, wonderful for dogs.
Woof Sweets, that's what we'll call them.
Woof Sweets?
Canine candies. Dogs love them. Make a fortune.
Daddy, Daddy! You've done it, Daddy.
You've done it! Have l?
lt's the posh life for us all now, my boy.
We're all going to be rich ! Hooray!
Do you mean to tell me l invented something that actually works?
Of course they do. Wouldn't be offering you a contract unless they did.
Sign here, please.
Wait. Don't go away. l'll be right back.
LORD SCRUMPTlOUS: What about the contract?
But, Daddy, where are you going?
Daddy!
What's the matter with the fellow?
Well, he's a bit of an eccentric, sir,
a genius, of course, but definitely an eccentric.
Can't imagine where he gets it from.
Truly, you'll never believe it.
l just got home. . . This is beginning to be. . .
. . .and your father was at my house. . . .a hazard.
l know! l know! They told me at the house.
We're rich. (EXCLAlMS)
You know, more than that, l have succeeded.
l always knew you would.
You know something else? The kids were right.
There's nothing so ridiculous about the idea of getting married.
Well, whoever said there was?
Well, Mr. Potts.
What's the matter?
Now you'll have to marry me.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
So dreams can come true.
Yes, they can.
Yes, they can, but you have to be practical, too.
You have to face the facts.
Man has to see things as they really are.
After all, a man with responsibilities
can't walk around with his head in the clouds all the time.
A man should keep his feet solidly on the ground.
Oh, a man should have his dreams
but a man has to learn to put those dreams to some practical use,
not just sit around and think about them all the time.
BOTH: (SlNGlNG) Oh, you, pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And our pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang loves us too
High, low, anywhere we go
On Chitty Chitty we depend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
CARACTACUS: It's uncategorical
A fuel-burning oracle
A phantasmagorical machine
TRULY: lt's more than spectacular
To use the vernacular
It's wizard It's smashing
BOTH: lt's keen
Oh, Chitty, you Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you
And Chitty, in Chitty Pretty Chitty Bang Bang
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, what we'll do
near, Chitty, far, Chitty, in our motorcar
Oh, what a happy time we'll spend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Our fine four-fendered friend
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Fine four-fendered Chitty Chitty friend