1
00:01:04,399 --> 00:01:10,499
02 Bridget Jones The Edge Of Reason - Comedy 2004 English
2
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,999
[ Bridget ] Another year,
a brand new diary.
3
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,499
Once again I was summoned,
kicking and screaming,
4
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,699
to my mother's turkey curry buffet,
5
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,899
where I've had some of the most
shaming experiences of my life.
6
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,599
- [ Doorbell ]
- Hello, darling.
7
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,699
- Lovely to see you.
- [ Magic Moments plays ]
8
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,999
It was, as usual, crammed full
9
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,099
with some of the most
dangerous perverts in the UK,
10
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,299
disguised as close, personal
friends of my parents.
11
00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,399
- Hello, Bridget.
- Hello, Una.
12
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,999
- Oh, no, thanks.
- Love the jumper.
13
00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:54,699
- I prefer what's underneath it.
- Uncle Geoffrey!
14
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,099
- Hello, gorgeous.
- Hello.
15
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,999
- Hello, darling.
- Hello, Dad. How's it going?
16
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,899
I wish I was dead.
17
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:08,499
[ Bridget ] But this year, there
was one crucial difference.
18
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,399
- Nice jumper.
- My mother's taste never falters.
19
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,299
Never.
20
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,299
♪ [ The Sound Of Music ] ♪
21
00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:29,399
[ Birdsong ]
22
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,499
[ Bridget hums along with song ]
23
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,999
You always wonder how it's going
to work out at the end of the story.
24
00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,499
Maria and Captain Von Trapp,
25
00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,499
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,
26
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,599
Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones.
27
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,199
I've found my happy ending at last.
28
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,199
And nothing in the world can spoil it.
29
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,899
Well, almost nothing.
30
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,199
[ Man ] Bridget Jones, what
the fuck are you doing?
31
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,799
- I, I can't see anywhere soft to land.
- How about on your arse?
32
00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,599
Bridget, unless you want to
get sacked at 6,000 feet,
33
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,899
you will be on your way
in exactly three seconds.
34
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,799
Three, two, one... cue Bridget.
35
00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,599
Skydiving.
36
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:42,499
A dangerous bane to the countryside
and emergency services,
37
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,799
or a safe and exhilarating hobby?
38
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,299
Well... let's see, shall we?
39
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,899
Go. Jump.
40
00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,699
- For Christ's sakes, go!
- [ Screams ]
41
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,099
[ Shrill scream ]
42
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,399
- She's out. Unit Two, you got her?
- [ Man ] We see her.
43
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,199
- Bridget, open the chute.
- [ Bridget screams ]
44
00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,499
- Open it.
- [ Bridget screams ]
45
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,299
Open your fucking parachute!
46
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,099
[ Director ] Pull the
thingy or you will die!
47
00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,899
[ Screams ]
48
00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:20,900
Oh.
49
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,499
[ Bridget ] Honestly,
you forget just one teeny, weeny detail
50
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,999
and everyone treats you like an idiot.
51
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:33,899
♪ [ Carly Simon ] Nobody does it better ♪
52
00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:41,099
♪ Makes me feel sad for the rest ♪
53
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,899
♪ Nobody does it ♪
54
00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,599
♪ Half as good as you ♪
55
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,199
♪ Baby, baby ♪
56
00:04:54,000 --> 00:05:01,399
♪ Darling, you're the best ♪
57
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,799
♪ Baby, you're the best... ♪
58
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:09,199
[ Bridget ] Where was I?
Oh, yes... Mark Darcy.
59
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,099
The question is: What happens
after you walk off into the sunset?
60
00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,299
[ Director ] Bridget?
Earth to Bridget Sodding Jones.
61
00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:22,099
- [ Pigs snort ]
- [ Bridget screams ]
62
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,899
[ Bridget groans ]
63
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,099
[ Director ] Bridget, you're on.
You're live.
64
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,699
Well, this is Bridget
Jones for Sit Up Britain,
65
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:41,399
reporting to you from a
big vat of excrement.
66
00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,699
- [ Pigs snort ]
- [ Bridget yelps ]
67
00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:47,499
- [ Squelching ]
- Give me a close-up of the porker.
68
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,299
♪ [ Minnie Ripperton Loving You ] ♪
69
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:58,099
[ Bridget ] Who cares about the
odd professional hiccup?
70
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,699
I've been in a functional relationship
71
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,999
with an adult male for six wonderful weeks,
72
00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,899
four fabulous days and
seven precious hours.
73
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,499
Or to put it another
way, 71 ecstatic shags.
74
00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,399
He's given up being snooty,
and I've given up smoking.
75
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,799
♪ - Loving you... ♪
♪ - Well, he thinks I have anyway, ♪
76
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,199
Which is practically the same thing.
77
00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,599
A dream come true...
78
00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,699
[ Bridget ] Mark Darcy is perfect.
79
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,399
Not a fuckwit, alcoholic, workaholic,
pervert or megalomaniac,
80
00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:38,499
but total sex god and human rights lawyer.
81
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,499
He is a miracle, really.
82
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,199
- Bridget, will you stop?
- [ Record scratches ]
83
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,099
Stop staring at me.
Go and find something to do.
84
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,999
Sorry.
85
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,499
[ Song starts up again ]
? La la la la la...
86
00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,499
[ Bridget ] So, as you can
see, the incredible truth is
87
00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,699
the wilderness years are over.
88
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,199
Bridget Jones is a love pariah no more.
89
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,199
[ Bell ]
90
00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,499
Morning, Bridget. Late again.
91
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,999
[ Sighs ] Yes. Sorry.
92
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,899
I was in bed with my boyfriend.
93
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,399
He's a human rights lawyer, you know.
94
00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,499
Yes, we know.
95
00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:27,299
I cannot believe how fantastic
shagging was last night.
96
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,099
Maybe I'll ring him.
97
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,999
No, no...
98
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:36,199
Obviously it's important to tell one's
boyfriend how nice he looks naked,
99
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,999
but I have crucial,
Pulitzer Prize winning journalism to do.
100
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,399
[ Speed dialling, ringing ]
101
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,599
[ Mark ] Hello?
102
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,099
It's me. Just wondered how you are.
103
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,199
I'm fine, thanks.
Everything all right with you?
104
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,499
[ Whispering ] Fine, though, er...
105
00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,099
I've just had a rather
graphic shag flashback.
106
00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,099
And you do have a genuinely
gorgeous bottom.
107
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,299
Thank you.
108
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,199
I'm with the Mexican ambassador,
the head of Amnesty International
109
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,399
and the Under-secretary
for Trade and Industry.
110
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,599
And you're on speaker-phone.
111
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,099
Oh. Right, well...
112
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,799
I'm quite busy with important stuff too...
113
00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:30,299
Bridget, we're waiting for that tape
about Tom, the happy hamster.
114
00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,099
- [ Mark ] I'll call when I've finished.
- Excellent.
115
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,699
And Richard wants to see you
about that crap skydiving report.
116
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,199
[ Whispers ] Oh, fuck.
117
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,499
Oh, dear. Is this the end of my career?
118
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,399
No, it can't be.
119
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:53,399
I will fight this. I am a journalist of
the highest standards and integrity.
120
00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,399
[ Tape whirs ]
121
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,499
[ On tape ] This is Bridget Jones
reporting from a big vat of excrement.
122
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,299
Look, I never said I could skydive
and I'm terrified of heights,
123
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:13,099
- so it was really hard to concentrate.
- Be quiet. They loved it upstairs.
124
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,199
Loved it. And they want us to come up
with another regular spot for you.
125
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,399
[ Laughs ] Oh, my God. That's...
126
00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,599
- I won't let you down, Richard.
- Precisely.
127
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,699
My friends' motto was "When in Rome,
do as many Romans as you can. "
128
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:32,599
But if your tastes are marginally
more highbrow, I also have tips.
129
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,799
Forget the Forum, definitely
forget the Coliseum,
130
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,599
no fun now they can't slaughter Christians.
131
00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:43,499
Forget the Sistine Chapel, first example
of a poof interior designer gone mad...
132
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:48,199
What is Daniel Cleaver
doing on the television?
133
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,799
It's called The Smooth Guide.
"Making culture bearable".
134
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:56,799
Equally serene and equally beautiful
Professor Giovana Dabrache.
135
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,299
Who is about to show me her diptych.
136
00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,699
Same old creep. [ Chuckles ]
137
00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,799
Oh. Shame.
138
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,599
He always speaks very warmly of you.
139
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,399
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
140
00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,099
How about we go out for
a bite to eat tonight?
141
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,399
Oh. Can't.
I have to go out with my boyfriend.
142
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,699
- He's a human rights lawyer.
- I know.
143
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,999
I'm meeting him for a romantic supper.
144
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,599
- [ Mobile rings ]
- Oh.
145
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,799
- Bridget Jones.
- Bridget, it's Mark.
146
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,799
Oh. I was just talking about you.
147
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,799
I'm running late.
Do you want me to cancel?
148
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,799
- Oh. No, that's fine.
- Are you sure?
149
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,199
Be as late as you like.
150
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,399
Chuck him, while you're not pregnant
with his unwanted child.
151
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,399
I only said he was working late.
152
00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,899
In one hour, he'll be coming
in his secretary's mouth
153
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,799
while he rings to say what
he wants for starters.
154
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,199
[ Bridget ] Friends spend years
finding you a boyfriend,
155
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,399
then instantly tell you to dump him.
156
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,999
Even if he isn't shagging her already,
he's thinking about it.
157
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:02,299
A man dating a woman with large breasts
will bed one with small breasts.
158
00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,499
Rubbish. Mark's above all that nonsense.
159
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,499
Jellyfishes alert. Jellyfishes alert.
160
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,599
[ Bridget ] Janey Osborne.
Talking to her is like swimming in a sea
161
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,099
and being stung repeatedly
by an enormous jellyfish.
162
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:22,999
Bridget. How's it going
with that divine man of yours?
163
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,099
You must be so pleased to
have a boyfriend at last.
164
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,299
First jellyfish of the evening.
165
00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,799
Is he taking you to the Law Council Dinner?
166
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,299
Oh. Well, I'm sure he's just forgotten.
167
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,899
Better start slimming into that dress.
168
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,299
He's given you the night off
to cheer up your single friends. Sweet.
169
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,299
Actually, he's got a big case on, trying
to get everyone in Mexico out of prison.
170
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,399
We're meeting for a very
late romantic dinner.
171
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,999
Really? That's so odd,
172
00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,899
'cause I saw him an hour ago going
into his house with Rebecca Gillies.
173
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,299
She's only 22.
She's got legs up to here.
174
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,799
And Daddy owns half of Australia.
175
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,199
See ta, babes.
176
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,599
Who is Rebecca Gillies? What's she doing
going into my boyfriend's house?
177
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,199
Where he never asks me.
And with legs up to here?
178
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,099
- My legs only come up to there.
- [ Jude ] You have fine legs.
179
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,299
Climber's legs.
180
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,199
I say go over there and
ask him, straight out,
181
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,299
are you or are you not
sleeping with Rebecca Gillies?
182
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,399
- [ Shazzer ] If he says...
- I won't dignify that with an answer...
183
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,699
Then you know he's shagging her.
184
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,099
♪ All that I have is all ♪
♪ that you've given... ♪
185
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,499
[ Bridget ] It's all about confidence and
trust. Mark would never betray me.
186
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,099
Everything will be lovely
and we'll have sex in the kitchen.
187
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,299
- Oh, God.
- [ Woman inside ] I'm coming.
188
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,999
Oh, God! What is that?
189
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,699
[ Woman ] Two seconds,
I'll be straight down.
190
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,899
Who is that?
191
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,699
♪ I find you lied ♪
192
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,099
♪ And I can't believe it's true ♪
193
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:11,199
♪ Wrapped in her arms I ♪
♪ see you across the street ♪
194
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,899
♪ I see you across the street ♪
195
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:20,299
♪ And I can't help but wonder ♪
♪ If she knows what's going on ♪
196
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,999
♪ You talk of love But ♪
♪ don't know how it feels ♪
197
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,099
♪ When you realize ♪
198
00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,699
♪ You're not the only one ♪
199
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,599
[ Mark ] Let's get on with it.
200
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,899
Oh, you better stop.
201
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,499
♪ Stop - Before ♪
202
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,399
♪ You tear me all apart ♪
203
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,599
♪ You better stop ♪
204
00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,799
♪ - Stop... ♪
♪ - You are a very demanding man. ♪
205
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,099
♪ - ...you go and break my heart... ♪
♪ - [ Bridget yelps ] ♪
206
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,299
[ Chuckles ] Bridget Jones.
207
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,599
No, I'm Bridget Jones.
208
00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,599
- [ Chuckles ] That's what I meant.
- You must be...
209
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:11,099
Rebecca Gillies. I've been
so looking forward to meeting you
210
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,499
- after everything Mark's told me.
- Why? What's he said?
211
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,699
- Where is Mark?
- Actually, er...
212
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,699
- [ Mark ] Becky, who is it?
- Becky?
213
00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,499
- Right.
- Great.
214
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,399
- Right...
- Bridget.
215
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,799
Hello, Mark.
216
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,199
[ Laughs nervously ] Hello...
217
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,299
lawyers who work with Mark.
218
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,699
[ All ] Good evening.
219
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,799
Everything under control, I see.
220
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,599
Um... Excellent graph.
221
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,899
- Lovely legs.
- Thank you.
222
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,199
[ Lawyers chat ]
223
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,499
I am so sorry.
224
00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,299
I thought...
Oh, I don't know what I thought.
225
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,499
Now you're really angry with me.
226
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,699
- No, I'm not.
- It's OK, you can say if you are.
227
00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:17,199
- It's not the end of the world.
- I'll get you a glass of wine.
228
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,099
The thing is I ran into Janey Osborne,
229
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:26,299
who said she'd just seen you
with this girl, with really long legs,
230
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,699
and Shazzer and Jude said
I should get over here straight away.
231
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,599
Following the orders of the dating
war command, you executed a raid.
232
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,699
- You are angry.
- I'm not, just disappointed.
233
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:41,399
Disappointed?
Oh, God, that's worse than angry.
234
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:47,199
I'm just disappointed I can't
take you home this instant.
235
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,699
Oh. [ Chuckles ]
What about all those lawyers?
236
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,999
Oh, plenty of time to butter them up
at the Law Council Dinner next Friday.
237
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,599
Don't want to go, do you?
238
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,499
I'd love to.
239
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,099
Oh, stupid Bridget, stupid friends.
240
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,899
Wonderful, loyal Mark Darcy...
241
00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,099
who loves me just the way I am.
242
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,699
[ Birdsong ]
243
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,899
[ Bridget pants ]
244
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,299
- [ Mark ] What are you doing?
- Getting dressed.
245
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,999
Why are you dancing around in that tent?
246
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:04,699
[ Sighs ] Because I don't want you to see
any of my wobbly bits.
247
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,799
That's pointless, because I have
a very high regard for your wobbly bits
248
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,099
in all circumstances.
249
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,299
- Really?
- Absolutely.
250
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,299
I think it's high time we had another look.
251
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,399
♪ Yeah ♪
252
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,899
♪ Are you digging on me? ♪
253
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,799
♪ Yeah ♪
254
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,299
♪ I'm digging on you, now, baby ♪
255
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,799
♪ Yeah ♪
256
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,299
♪ Do you want a little bit of my love? ♪
257
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,600
♪ Yeah... ♪
258
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:38,399
[ Bridget ] He really is
very, very, very nice.
259
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,799
♪ All the time I knew ♪
260
00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,699
♪ That you loved me ♪
261
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,299
♪ And you promised me... ♪
262
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,499
I miss you too.
263
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,599
♪ That you would be my only man ♪
264
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,199
♪ Yeah ♪
265
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,699
♪ Are you digging on me? ♪
266
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,599
[ Bridget ] I've never been
happier in my entire life.
267
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,099
However, must not obsess or fantasize.
268
00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,799
Bridget Darcy.
269
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,999
Mrs. Darcy.
270
00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,299
Mr. and Mrs. Darcy.
271
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,899
Lord and Lady Darcy.
272
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,599
Wonder what Mark Darcy
would be like as a father.
273
00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,199
To his children, I mean, not to me.
274
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,199
That would be a weird,
Oedipus-like thought.
275
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,399
At last, life is on track.
276
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,199
Bridget Jones: Fiancée wife...
277
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,799
mother.
278
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,999
Bugger.
279
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,699
[ Man ] Ever fancied doing it in the dark
with a total stranger?
280
00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,999
All right, perhaps not a total stranger.
281
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:55,599
Back off, Cleaver, or I'll report you
to a sexual harassment tribunal.
282
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,399
I'm a serious journalist.
283
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,899
Is that your most serious skirt, Jones?
284
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,599
Oh...
285
00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,699
Do you like it?
286
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,199
I thought you hated television.
287
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:09,599
I hate watching television.
Being on it is... Hello there.
288
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,799
Entirely different.
289
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,899
Daniel, thought the Madrid piece
was outstanding, really original.
290
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:19,999
Cheers, Jeremy. Appreciate that.
We had to work really hard on that one.
291
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,399
Tosser. Talking of which,
how is Mark Darcy?
292
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,999
- You still...?
- Yes, I am.
293
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,599
And I intend to be for a very long time.
294
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,399
Good. You know what a fan I am
of any woman married to Mark Darcy.
295
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,899
- That's not funny.
- Seriously, though, Jones,
296
00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,799
speaking purely unselfishly,
I worry about you.
297
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:44,399
You do know that it's a fact that
most lawyer's wives die of boredom?
298
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,699
And what about you?
Still shagging anything that moves?
299
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,199
As a matter of fact, no.
No shagging whatsoever.
300
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,499
I'm in shag therapy.
301
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,799
It turns out I have a problem. I go
to meetings, talk about my feelings.
302
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,099
Hug people who smell.
303
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,899
- I don't believe you.
- I'm trying...
304
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,399
to be a better man, Bridge,
305
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,499
so that the next time a
better woman comes along,
306
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,599
I won't make a pig's ear of it.
307
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,799
Daniel. Meeting?
308
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,499
Yeah, yeah. Thanks.
309
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,199
Very good hair, Jones.
310
00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:28,199
By the way, um, you're not free
for dinner tonight, are you?
311
00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:32,099
No, I'm not.
I'm going to the Law Council Dinner.
312
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,699
It's a very important evening.
313
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,599
♪ [ Kylie Minogue Can't Get ♪
♪ You Out Of My Head ] ♪
314
00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:40,599
I can't wear that.
315
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:44,899
Bridge, do you want to get married and
have babies before you become barren?
316
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,299
Trust me...
317
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,299
[ Bridget ] Magda: My only grown-up
friend. Married to Mark's partner.
318
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,399
She actually got engaged
on the night of the Law Council Dinner.
319
00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,599
Try it with the dress.
320
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,099
Oh, my God!
321
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,199
Remember, we are trying to reduce
your body size by 15 per cent.
322
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,699
You hold the front, I'll hold the back.
One, two, three...
323
00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,299
[ Bridget whimpers ]
324
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,199
- [ Bridget shrieks ]
- What's going on in there?
325
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,999
Not too bad, actually.
326
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,599
Tra-la!
327
00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,799
Fantastic.
328
00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,199
Right, let us begin.
329
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:27,499
I am going to make you into a princess.
330
00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,900
Goody.
331
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,699
[ Bridget ] Nothing like being
in the hands of a total genius.
332
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,299
[ Whooshing ]
333
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,299
Wow.
334
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,199
- [ Jude on phone ] Whatever you do...
- Bugger it.
335
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,399
Don't iron your hair.
336
00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,499
[ Jude ] It's a lot worse than I thought.
337
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,699
We could flatten it with Brylcream.
338
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:53,199
What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs.
339
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,699
- I preferred you in the gold.
- No, whatever you do, not the gold.
340
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,599
Great. I'm late with mad hair and can
barely breathe in scary knickers.
341
00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:06,399
♪ La la la La la la la la... ♪
342
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,199
[ Bridget ] Oh, God. I'm very worried.
343
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:14,299
What if someone says "Bridget Jones,
get out of here, you are ridiculous"?
344
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,299
Stop it.
345
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:21,599
The most important thing, of course,
is to look absolutely wonderful
346
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,599
and make a magnificent entrance.
347
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,999
♪ I just can't get you out of my head... ♪
348
00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:30,399
[ Chatter ]
349
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,499
[ Violins ]
350
00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:39,999
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
351
00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:44,499
- Hello.
- I think you should go to the ladies.
352
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:47,399
But I went before I left home.
353
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,999
Trust me on this one.
354
00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,399
[ Gasps ] Oh.
355
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,599
Not good.
356
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,599
[ Thinks ]
All right, tiny make-up mistake,
357
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,699
but I always have wit and
conversation to fall back on.
358
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,899
Thank you.
359
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,899
- Bridget.
- Hello.
360
00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:22,299
Derek, Horatio, Camilla.
361
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,599
- Horatio?
- Yes, Horatio.
362
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:29,499
Horatio was just saying
he's totally against charitable giving.
363
00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:31,799
[ Laughs ]
364
00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:35,399
- What?
- Well, obviously you don't mean it.
365
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,099
Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful
to give a beggar fifty pence?
366
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,299
- Maybe he's just hungry.
- Don't be so naive.
367
00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:47,399
The people you see outside the tube
every day are there by choice.
368
00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:50,499
- End of story.
- Oh, no, it's not.
369
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,399
Some people have terrible
personal problems,
370
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:58,399
and other people might have lost their
family in some tragic ferry disaster.
371
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,299
And some people are just plain hopeless.
372
00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:07,299
Honestly, this is the sort of rubbish
you'd expect from fat, balding
373
00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:13,499
Tory, Home Counties,
upper-middle-class twits.
374
00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:14,900
[ Music stops ]
375
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,999
- [ Chatter resumes ]
- [ Laughs uneasily ]
376
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,499
[ Violins, chatter ]
377
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,099
[ Man ] Yeah, very good.
Tested my resolve.
378
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,499
How did I do?
379
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,499
You seem to have made quite an impression.
380
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:40,499
I've put you next to Giles Benwick.
381
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,099
- Oh, I'm not sitting next to you?
- No. He's terribly nice,
382
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,899
but his wife's just run off
with one of the partners.
383
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,899
He probably won't mention
it, but you should know.
384
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,999
I always knew she was out of my league.
385
00:24:54,300 --> 00:25:00,099
You see, there's the high-fliers,
like Annabel and Mark Darcy
386
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:05,099
and there's the gorgeous
girls, like Rebecca there
387
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,799
and there's the rest of us.
388
00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:12,699
Like you and me, you mean?
389
00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,899
Absolutely.
390
00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,199
I mean, look at the state of us.
391
00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,699
You and me stumbled into
the VIP room by mistake
392
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,499
and it's only a matter of moments
before they show us the door.
393
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,099
[ Pounding ]
394
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:38,799
My lords, ladies and
gentlemen, let the quiz begin.
395
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,099
[ Laughs ] Oh, goody. I love quizzes.
396
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,499
All those years of playing
Trivial Pursuits are about to pay off.
397
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,099
Now I want to see your hands
poised over those bells. Ready?
398
00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,999
Here we go. What are something
called "customary freeholds"?
399
00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,499
- [ Bell ]
- [ Man ] Superior copy hold.
400
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:01,899
[ Speaker ] Yes.
401
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,799
What is the correct grace
used in the Inner Temple
402
00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,399
for the second mooting
night of Michaelmas term?
403
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,699
- [ Bell ]
- [ Man ] Amas bibendo... fructis.
404
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,099
Jolly good.
What is an overreaching conveyance?
405
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,599
What is rack-rent?
When was breach of promise abolished?
406
00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:21,799
Define "damnum sentit dominus".
407
00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:26,999
Translate "reddendo singula
singulis" into Ancient Greek.
408
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,499
I believe this is the answer.
409
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,099
[ Bell ]
410
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,999
Hippodamoi credemnon louestai.
411
00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:38,299
- [ Speaker ] Absolutely correct.
- [ Applause ]
412
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,999
[ Speaker ] Now, for our
final and deciding round,
413
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,799
the category is contemporary culture.
414
00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,499
[ Murmuring ]
415
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,999
Who did the design for Princess
Diana's wedding dress?
416
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,599
- [ Bell ]
- The Emmanuels.
417
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:01,199
- Correct.
- Excellent, Bridget.
418
00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,399
Name the character in Footballers' Wives
419
00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:10,199
who, in one memorable episode,
set fire to her own breasts.
420
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,899
- [ Bell ]
- Chardonnay.
421
00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,999
- [ Speaker ] Correct.
- [ Applause ]
422
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,299
At this point, there are only
two tables in contention
423
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,999
and only one question left.
424
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,499
What was the name of
Madonna's first UK single?
425
00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:30,199
- [ Bell ]
- [ Bridget quietly ] Lucky Star.
426
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,499
- [ Speaker ] Sorry, I didn't quite hear.
- Are you sure?
427
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,699
- Wasn't it Holiday?
- No, everyone thinks it is,
428
00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:38,199
but it's not.
429
00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,299
My entire life has been leading
up to this very moment.
430
00:27:41,700 --> 00:27:45,599
Take that knife, slice off my head
and boil it if I'm wrong.
431
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,499
The correct answer is Lucky Star.
432
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,999
- No.
- [ Groans of disappointment ]
433
00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,999
- The correct answer is...
- Is it Holiday?
434
00:27:57,300 --> 00:28:00,099
- [ Speaker ] Holiday, indeed, yes.
- [ Applause ]
435
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:07,099
[ Speaker ] The winners of
the 42nd Annual Law Council Quiz are...
436
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,499
the Legal Eagles.
437
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,699
[ Cheering ]
438
00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,299
- Lovely to see you, Bridget.
- Oh, thanks, Rebecca.
439
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,599
Good night.
440
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,199
[ Horn ]
441
00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,999
[ Bridget ] Why didn't you
speak to me all night?
442
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:43,499
[ Mark ] That's the point of those dinners.
443
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,299
But you talked to Rebecca.
And you talked to Horatio.
444
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,799
I'll never fit in with your friends.
445
00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:55,999
Not if you go on calling everyone
"balding, upper-middle-class twits".
446
00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:59,399
Well, they were balding,
upper-middle-class twits.
447
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,799
Except for the ones who had hair.
448
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:06,199
I suppose you agree with them
that poor people deserve to be poor?
449
00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,399
Don't be ridiculous.
450
00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:12,199
- So now I'm ridiculous?
- Yes, tonight you were a little.
451
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,899
Well, tonight you were an arrogant arse.
452
00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:20,399
I think I may have made
a mistake inviting you
453
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,099
and your folding underpants into my life.
454
00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,999
Good night.
455
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,299
If you had asked me tonight,
456
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,399
I'd have said no, anyway.
457
00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:41,699
Asked you what?
458
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,499
- Bridget?
- [ Sirens nearby ]
459
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,699
Asked you what?
460
00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:00,399
[ Bridget ] Oh, God, I've done it.
461
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:02,699
I've gone and done it.
462
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,899
One minute, you're closer to someone
than anyone in the whole world,
463
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,099
next minute, you're never
going to see them again.
464
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,099
[ Beeps ]
465
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:26,999
[ Rings ]
466
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,799
[ Mark ] If you have a message for
Mark Darcy, please speak after the tone.
467
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,200
[ Beep ]
468
00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,499
Hello, it's me.
I'm really, really sorry...
469
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,299
[ buzzer ]
470
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,599
Sorry, it's the door.
471
00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:46,399
Don't go away, I have something
really, really important to say.
472
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,599
[ Buzzer ]
473
00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,999
- Yes, who is it?
- [ Mark ] It's me.
474
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,899
- Mark.
- Oh, right.
475
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:05,199
Er, just a moment.
476
00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,199
I'm on the phone.
477
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,199
[ Alarm ]
478
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,799
[ Laughs ] You're outside.
479
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,899
Look, er...
480
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,699
I'll ring you later.
481
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:24,599
Unless you've come to chuck
me once and for all.
482
00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,999
In which case,
483
00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:31,299
bye and thank you, and... sorry.
484
00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:33,099
[ Buzzer ]
485
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,399
Oh, God, please don't chuck me.
486
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:38,199
If you have chucked me,
please change your mind,
487
00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,499
I'll behave much better in future.
488
00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,099
- [ Buzzer ]
- On the other hand, if you haven't,
489
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,799
please behave better
next time we go out. Stuck-up snob.
490
00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:48,700
[ Beep ]
491
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,799
What do you want?
492
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,899
I'd like to come up.
You are, after all, my girlfriend.
493
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,299
Even though I shouted at you
and called you an arrogant arse?
494
00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:05,899
Unfortunately, yes.
You see, the problematic thing is...
495
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,099
I love you.
496
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:12,499
W-what?
497
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:26,299
- I said I love you.
- I'm sorry, I missed that again.
498
00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:28,599
I said I love you, for God's sake!
499
00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:30,699
[ All Jeer ]
500
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,599
All right, no need to shout.
501
00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,899
I'll come down and let you in.
502
00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:47,099
[ All Cheer ]
503
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,799
You might be needing this in the future.
504
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,199
He said he loves me.
505
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:07,299
- [ Tom ] He said he loves you?
- He said he loves me.
506
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,299
- Right, where is he now?
- [ Whispers ] He's in the bedroom.
507
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,699
Go back in there, Bridge,
508
00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:18,899
and whatever you do, act
completely nonchalant.
509
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,499
Bridget, you're staring at me again.
510
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,899
Sorry.
511
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,799
Listen, I know this evening
didn't go exactly as planned,
512
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,599
but there was a very important question
I wanted to ask you tonight.
513
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:44,099
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
514
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,899
[ Takes deep breath ]
515
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,399
I've actually been meaning
to ask this for quite some time.
516
00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:54,399
I've just never really found
the right way to put it.
517
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,099
Darling Bridget...
518
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,499
would you...
519
00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,199
like to go on a skiing mini-break?
520
00:34:13,900 --> 00:34:15,299
Yes!
521
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,699
♪ What the world... ♪
522
00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:23,399
[ Bridget ] This is not just a mini-break.
523
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:27,799
This is a holiday in heaven.
524
00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,099
Told a tiny lie about being
an extremely experienced skier.
525
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,899
But, honestly, how hard can it be?
526
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,099
- Ah.
- Shall we?
527
00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:50,499
[ Bridget ] I know I'm going
to like skiing a lot.
528
00:34:50,700 --> 00:34:53,399
Very romantic, very relaxing.
529
00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:57,699
- Bar going up.
- No. What? Why?
530
00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:02,599
[ Bridget whimpers ]
531
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,799
Um...
532
00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:06,899
Er...
533
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,099
Oh. Oh, God.
534
00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:10,899
[ Whimpers ]
535
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:13,899
Oh, God. Oh.
536
00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:16,999
[ Groans ]
537
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,699
Ah.
538
00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,399
[ Screams ]
539
00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:38,199
Bridget.
540
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,699
Rebecca. What are you doing here?
541
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,299
- Didn't Mark tell you we were coming?
- No, he didn't.
542
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,599
It was me who recommended the place.
543
00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:50,499
- I've been coming since I was 11.
- Really?
544
00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:52,399
[ Thinks ] Three whole years.
545
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,699
Come on, up you get.
546
00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:56,599
Come on.
547
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,899
- There you go.
- Are you all right?
548
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:02,899
Yes, fine, thanks.
549
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,399
- You sure?
- Why is Rebecca here?
550
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:08,799
Oh, God. Well, I mentioned
that we were coming
551
00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:12,999
and she said why didn't they come too,
and I couldn't say no, could I?
552
00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,699
Come on, you two, let's crack on, shall we?
553
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,799
Actually, I might just sit this one out.
You head on.
554
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,499
- See you down there.
- You sure?
555
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,899
Absolutely. I'll be fine in a minute.
556
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,599
Right, I'll see you at base camp, then.
557
00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:34,199
[ Thinks ] Bastard.
I can't believe he's left me.
558
00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,299
Ooh.
559
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:48,899
Oooh.
560
00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:03,899
[ Thinks ] So, romantic getaway
has turned into lawyer's reunion.
561
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,699
Oooh.
562
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,799
I can't believe we're
already into group holidays
563
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,299
after only eight weeks of
total, undisturbed sex.
564
00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:14,999
Wait a minute...
565
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,599
No. Eight weeks?
566
00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:20,199
It couldn't be, could it?
567
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,499
Totally undisturbed...
568
00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:25,899
Oh, God. I'm pregnant.
569
00:37:26,700 --> 00:37:28,599
[ Whines ]
570
00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,499
[ Screams ]
571
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,799
And going to die!
572
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:35,799
[ Cheering ]
573
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,799
[ Screams ]
574
00:37:47,100 --> 00:37:50,099
[ Screams ] Oh, my God!
575
00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:52,399
I can't see!
576
00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,699
[ Screams ] Big bump!
577
00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:56,899
Get out of the way!
578
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,099
[ Screams ]
579
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,199
Who's this? An eccentric
but exhilarating performance
580
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,499
from a total unknown,
581
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,999
who's now solidly in
position for the bronze.
582
00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,399
- [ Screams ]
- [ Bell clangs ]
583
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,299
[ Whines ]
584
00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,699
I would like a pregnancy test, please.
585
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,599
A pregnancy test.
586
00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:42,599
Ich bien, er, possibly...
587
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,499
mit baby.
588
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,599
Er...
589
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,899
Kinder! I am on back...
590
00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:54,399
and he, er...
591
00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:58,399
maken ze lieben. Er, with me.
592
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,699
[ German ] She's pregnant!
593
00:39:03,900 --> 00:39:05,999
Oh, no! No, no, not pregnant.
594
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,799
[ German ] She's bloated.
595
00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:10,899
- Condom?
- Nein. Nein, nein.
596
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,999
Maybe like this, but maybe like this.
597
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,799
[ German ] I think her
problem is psychological.
598
00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:20,599
[ German ] There is nothing a
pill can do to help her.
599
00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:23,499
I'm a girl and I met a boy.
600
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,999
Fraulein, and I met frau... boy.
601
00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:31,999
And possibly now mit baby, uh-huh?
602
00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,999
Right, moment of truth awaits.
603
00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:43,199
What if I am pregnant?
604
00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:46,399
I must try not to get hopes up too high.
605
00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:49,599
Boyfriend and baby seems just too lucky.
606
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,099
Bridget? I have been looking
everywhere for you.
607
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,299
I thought you'd broken a leg
or something... Oh, God.
608
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,399
- You're not...?
- I might be.
609
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,099
- What if I were?
- Well, I suppose I'd...
610
00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:16,899
To be quite frank, it'd
be bloody fantastic.
611
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,999
I mean, if a little ahead of schedule.
612
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,999
- Are you really pregnant?
- Well, give it three minutes.
613
00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,299
- What do you fancy? Boy or a girl?
- I dunno, it doesn't matter.
614
00:40:40,700 --> 00:40:43,799
Although, I suppose I've always
had the fantasy of a son.
615
00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:48,899
- Another Mark Darcy.
- Or maybe something like Huck.
616
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,899
Or River. Or some fabulous
Hebrew name like Noah.
617
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,499
Anyway, I could teach him
to play cricket and rugby
618
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,999
and visit him at Eton on St Andrew's Day.
619
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,200
Eton?
620
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:04,399
Yes. The Darcy men have been going
to Eton for five generations.
621
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,399
Well, my son's not going
to be sent away from home.
622
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,699
Especially to some fascist institution
where they stick a poker up your arse
623
00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,499
that you're never allowed to remove again.
624
00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,399
I see.
625
00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,499
- I didn't mean you.
- No, of course not.
626
00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:24,699
So what's the alternative?
Sleeping in his parents' bed,
627
00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:26,999
breastfeeding until he's a teenager
628
00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:31,699
and some progressive school, where the
day is spent singing Yellow Submarine?
629
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,599
Oh, you're absolutely right.
630
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,899
It's madness to allow a child to enjoy
his education or live with his parents.
631
00:41:38,300 --> 00:41:42,099
What is madness is to have a child
if his parents can't have a discussion
632
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,299
without one shouting at the other.
633
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,699
It's negative.
634
00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:48,199
- That's too bad.
- Yes, very sad.
635
00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:26,899
Perhaps we should go out for lunch
tomorrow. Get out of the grump.
636
00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:33,499
That's a good idea in theory,
but you made a family arrangement.
637
00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,599
Oh, God.
638
00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:38,399
[ Doorbell ]
639
00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:39,799
Darlings!
640
00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,899
I've had the fabulous idea
of inviting your parents.
641
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,099
[ Bridget ] Another one of
Mother's culinary triumphs.
642
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,899
- Everything in miniature.
- Mini treacle tart, Admiral Darcy?
643
00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:54,199
No, no, thank you. The mini spotted dick
rather finished me off.
644
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,899
[ Polite laughter ]
645
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,499
So, Mark, Bridget, when are you
two love-birds going to name the day?
646
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,599
Bridget, you must want to hear
those ding-dong bells.
647
00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:16,399
Well, we're certainly not thinking
about that yet. Are we, Bridget?
648
00:43:17,300 --> 00:43:19,199
No. God, no.
649
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,299
Of course not.
650
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,899
[ Mr. Jones ] Good.
Well, that's that sorted.
651
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,699
So, Admiral, out on the high seas.
How was it?
652
00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:45,199
- Did you mean that thing you said?
- What thing?
653
00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,999
- You know what thing.
- No, I don't know what thing.
654
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,899
The thing thing.
655
00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:55,699
Now, let's see, there are
any number of things, um...
656
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,299
in an afternoon full of
all sorts of things,
657
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,399
so I, um...
658
00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:04,999
The thing where you said you're not, um...
659
00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:13,099
That you're not, not even
thinking about, um...
660
00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,199
What's the matter?
661
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,999
Let's get a drink.
662
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,299
I'm going to go to the loo,
then I'm going to come back.
663
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,899
And then we're going to be civilized.
664
00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:54,999
[ Telephone ]
665
00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:00,599
If you have a message for Mark Darcy,
speak after the tone.
666
00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,000
[ Beep ]
667
00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:04,199
Mark, it's Rebecca. Are you there?
668
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,999
Obviously not.
Probably still out with Bridget.
669
00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:13,399
Um... Anyway, I hope lunch
with the parents went well.
670
00:45:13,700 --> 00:45:16,799
I'm sure you were dutiful
and very polite, as usual.
671
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,899
Er... Whatever. Anyway, look, maybe
give me a ring when you get back.
672
00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:24,899
I thought I might pop round for a nightcap.
673
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,299
But I suppose that's a silly idea.
Bridget's probably there.
674
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,099
- Sleep tight.
- [ Beep ]
675
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,599
Oh, Christ, what now?
676
00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:42,599
Are you or are you not having an affair
with Rebecca Gillies?
677
00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:46,299
I won't dignify that
question with an answer.
678
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,299
Right.
679
00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:51,099
All I did was go to the loo.
680
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,199
Bridget!
681
00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,299
Bridget.
682
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,899
That's not your coat.
683
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:05,799
Oh, right.
684
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,499
Oh, Bridget, what are you doing?
685
00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:20,999
I read you should never date someone if
you can think of three reasons not to.
686
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,899
- Can you think of three?
- Yes.
687
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,899
- Which are?
- Well, first off, I embarrass you.
688
00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:30,399
I can't ski, I can't ride,
I can't speak Latin.
689
00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:34,299
My legs only come up to here and yes,
I will always be a little bit fat.
690
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:38,099
And you, you fold your
underpants before you go to bed.
691
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,699
- Now, hang on, that can't be a reason.
- No, it's not a reason.
692
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,999
But you're not perfect either.
693
00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,899
You look down your nose
at absolutely everyone,
694
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:51,699
and you're incapable of doing anything
spontaneous or potentially affectionate.
695
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:55,299
It feels like you're waiting
to find someone in the VIP room
696
00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:58,099
who's, who's so fantastic...
697
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,899
just the way she is,
698
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,699
that you don't need to fix her.
699
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,499
Bridget, this is mad.
700
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,099
Perhaps you've already found her.
701
00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:13,999
Do you want to marry me?
702
00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:18,299
Look, I...
703
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:23,499
You see, you can never
muster the strength...
704
00:47:24,900 --> 00:47:27,099
to fight for me.
705
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,899
[ Bridget ] I can't believe I did that.
706
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:30,199
♪ What do I gotta do to make you love me? ♪
707
00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:37,299
♪ What do I gotta do to make you care? ♪
708
00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:39,399
[ Dog barks ]
709
00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:45,299
♪ What do I gotta do when ♪
♪ lightning strikes me ♪
710
00:48:45,700 --> 00:48:47,099
♪ Hmm ♪
711
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:51,999
♪ And I wake to find ♪
♪ that you're not there? ♪
712
00:48:55,600 --> 00:49:00,099
♪ What do I gotta do to make you want me? ♪
713
00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:01,999
♪ Hmm ♪
714
00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:07,299
♪ What do I gotta do to be heard? ♪
715
00:49:07,700 --> 00:49:09,599
[ Siren ]
716
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:15,699
♪ And what do I say when ♪
♪ it's all over, babe? ♪
717
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:17,499
♪ Oooh-ooh ♪
718
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:21,999
♪ And sorry seems to be the hardest word ♪
719
00:49:25,300 --> 00:49:28,799
♪ It's sad So sad ♪
720
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,499
♪ Why can't we talk it over, babe? ♪
721
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,199
♪ Always seems to me ♪
722
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:40,099
♪ When sorry seems to be ♪
723
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:45,399
♪ The hardest word? ♪
724
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,299
[ Bridget ] Five weeks later.
725
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,299
Weight: 4,000 pounds.
726
00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,599
Am enjoying a relationship
with two men simultaneously.
727
00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,199
The first is called Ben, the other, Jerry.
728
00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,599
Number of current boyfriends: Zero.
729
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,199
Number of calls from ex-boyfriend.
730
00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:11,699
[ Electronic voice ] You have
absolutely no messages.
731
00:50:11,900 --> 00:50:15,399
Not a single one.
Not even from your mother.
732
00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:18,299
[ Telephone ]
733
00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:23,799
- Hello?
- Hello, darling.
734
00:50:24,100 --> 00:50:27,799
- You haven't forgotten our lunch date?
- [ Bridget ] Of course I have.
735
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:31,099
- I'm suicidally depressed.
- Don't be silly, Bridget.
736
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,699
Meet me at Debenhams at twelve o'clock.
737
00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:37,999
Mum... I thought we were going
to have something to eat.
738
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,899
[ Mum ] Patience, please. I've got
a big surprise for you, darling.
739
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,699
- What?
- Don't say "what", say "pardon".
740
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,499
[ Shrill ] Tra-la!
741
00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:52,599
- What do you think?
- Oh, my God.
742
00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:54,899
Daddy and I are getting married.
743
00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:57,799
- You're already married.
- We're doing it again.
744
00:50:58,100 --> 00:51:01,299
Reaffirming our vows.
You are going to be a bridesmaid,
745
00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,399
and absolutely everything
is going to be lavender.
746
00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:07,099
And when I say everything, I mean...
747
00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:09,199
everything.
748
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,299
[ Laughs ]
749
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,699
Oh, God, I'm never going to get married
750
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,399
and my sodding mum and
dad are doing it twice.
751
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,499
♪ No more candlelight No more romance ♪
752
00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,199
♪ - No more small talk... ♪
♪ - [ Bridget ] Bloody know-it-all. ♪
753
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,999
New York: The Big, Juicy Apple.
754
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,999
The city that never sleeps
with the same person two nights running.
755
00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,499
My favorite place in America, where Sex
And The City isn't just a programme,
756
00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:40,699
it's a promise.
757
00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:43,799
[ Bell ]
758
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:46,699
- [ Phone rings ]
- [ Man ] Morning, Rach.
759
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,699
Sorry.
760
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,599
Oh, cheer up, misery guts.
I have good news for you.
761
00:51:52,900 --> 00:51:54,799
[ Chuckles ] Sure, right.
762
00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:58,099
What's the angle?
I interview some rocket scientist
763
00:51:58,300 --> 00:52:01,199
while he looks through my skirt
with X-ray glasses?
764
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:02,899
No.
765
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,499
Although that is a bloody good idea.
766
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:10,099
No. The fact is The Smooth Guide
is doing very well with women,
767
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,699
but the network want us to cast
a wider net and use a Smooth Guide-ess.
768
00:52:15,100 --> 00:52:18,199
Me? With Daniel Cleaver?
769
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:22,199
It's the next logical step.
I think Thailand is first on the list.
770
00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:25,099
No. I won't do it.
771
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,999
Not now.
Not in a million years from now.
772
00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:30,899
- Excuse me?
- I am a top television journalist,
773
00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:33,399
not some boorish bint in a bikini.
774
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,999
Really? Strong words from somebody
who doesn't know where Germany is.
775
00:52:38,300 --> 00:52:40,499
- [ Sniggering ]
- Who told you that?
776
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,199
Cleaver. He said he couldn't be expected
to go out with someone
777
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:49,399
who thought Iran was David Bowie's wife,
and who didn't know where Germany was.
778
00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:56,699
Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist,
disgusting specimen of humanity,
779
00:52:57,100 --> 00:52:59,699
that I wouldn't share a
lift with, let alone a job.
780
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,499
Come on, Jones, there must have been
something you liked about me.
781
00:53:03,900 --> 00:53:06,899
Well... you have a nice car.
782
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,199
And quite nice manners.
Outside the bedroom.
783
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,299
But that's about it.
784
00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:16,399
And by the way, I know
exactly where Germany is.
785
00:53:16,700 --> 00:53:19,999
The question is do you know the
location of your arsehole?
786
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:28,999
As a matter of fact, I do know the
exact location of my arsehole. And hers.
787
00:53:30,700 --> 00:53:33,299
Oh, come on, Jones, it
was just a silly joke.
788
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,999
Not a very funny one.
789
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:36,599
- Go on, then.
- What?
790
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,699
Where is it? Where is Germany?
791
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,599
- Next to France.
- And?
792
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,199
And also Belgium...
793
00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,999
Poland. And it has a sea coast.
794
00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:50,199
Which sea?
795
00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,299
Oh, sod it. Now, look,
796
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,199
I think we should talk
about Finch's suggestion.
797
00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:04,399
I am going to Thailand, Jones.
798
00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:07,199
Wouldn't you like to be
my little Girl Guide?
799
00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,600
Thailand?
800
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,299
- You'll shag before you leave Heathrow.
- I'll be perfectly fine.
801
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:14,599
I'm eschewing all men.
802
00:54:15,300 --> 00:54:17,999
And cigarettes. And carbohydrates.
803
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,099
- We can't possibly let you go.
- On your own.
804
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,299
Oh, stop it, all of you.
805
00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,299
I am a mature, sophisticated,
professional woman
806
00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:31,099
and I'm going to Thailand
entirely on my own, thank you very much.
807
00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:32,799
- [ Shazzer ] Fuck!
- Sorry.
808
00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:35,099
- Fuckity fuck.
- Sorry.
809
00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:39,699
[ Pilot ] And now our final passengers
have joined us, we can get under way.
810
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,999
Someone's gotta be last.
811
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:46,399
- [ Crunching ]
- [ Bridget ] Are we not sitting together?
812
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,599
Oh, fuck.
813
00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:54,199
I don't think we're really
in a position to, um...
814
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,599
make a fuss. Sorry. Hi.
815
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,499
- Sorry.
- [ Man chuckles ]
816
00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:03,399
[ Woman ] What's our film?
817
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,599
What's your name? Mine's Olive.
818
00:55:06,900 --> 00:55:08,799
- Er, Bridget.
- [ Olive chuckles ]
819
00:55:09,100 --> 00:55:11,899
[ Pilot ] Good afternoon
again, ladies and gentlemen.
820
00:55:12,300 --> 00:55:15,099
We're about to offer a wide range
of duty-free items.
821
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,999
Details can be found
in your in-flight magazine.
822
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,899
[ Baby cries ]
823
00:55:25,900 --> 00:55:29,899
Wonderful people, the Thais.
Particularly the young ladies.
824
00:55:30,300 --> 00:55:32,199
If you know what I mean, eh?
825
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,999
- Oh, for heaven's sake.
- Come with me.
826
00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,399
Come with me now.
827
00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:40,099
- Where are we going?
- Just through here.
828
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,399
Thank you. This is worse than school.
829
00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:44,699
It really wasn't my fault.
830
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,199
It's a fizzy drink, you know, it just...
831
00:55:47,500 --> 00:55:49,599
It just sort of fizzied over.
832
00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,399
Couldn't bear to think of you back there
in slum class, Jones.
833
00:55:54,700 --> 00:55:58,599
Graham, thank you. You are the best
air steward I've ever come across.
834
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,999
And if I may say so, the smartest.
835
00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:02,699
Thank you, sir.
836
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,299
I thought you were there
already, doing research.
837
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,399
Fuck, no. I make it up as I go along.
838
00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:14,299
It's 13 hours for this trip.
I need some in-flight entertainment.
839
00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:17,999
Why don't you tell me, in detail,
about your school netball tour,
840
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,799
particularly the unsavoury incident
in the communal showers.
841
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,999
I didn't play netball.
Or go to a girls' school.
842
00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,799
- Or have showers.
- Now that's just not true, is it?
843
00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:30,999
- Let me start you off.
- No.
844
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:34,799
If you're gonna be dull, I'm going
to plunge back into Mrs. Dalloway,
845
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,299
and you know how she loves that.
Dirty, dirty bitch.
846
00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:02,299
♪ - [ Elephant trumpets ] ♪
♪ - Here's a new thing ♪
847
00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,099
♪ That's gonna please ta ♪
848
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,799
♪ Just a little town down in Indonesia ♪
849
00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:08,100
♪ Bangkok... ♪
850
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:10,999
[ Bridget ] Arrived Bangkok. Very hot.
851
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:15,199
Relieved at last to throw myself
into serious journalistic work.
852
00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,399
Thailand has long called
travellers from around the globe
853
00:57:21,700 --> 00:57:25,199
to take spiritual succour and karmic rest.
854
00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:30,399
For centuries, Western visitors
have been inevitably drawn
855
00:57:30,900 --> 00:57:34,099
to some of Bangkok's oldest sanctuaries.
856
00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,799
So true, Bridget. Even I,
fight it as I may, am no exception.
857
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:42,099
The moment I arrive here,
I almost feel an irresistible pull...
858
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,999
to this. The Temple of Tranquillity.
859
00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:51,699
Indeed, nothing symbolizes Thailand's
extraordinary fusion of East and West,
860
00:57:52,100 --> 00:57:55,399
of tradition and innovation,
better than this.
861
00:57:55,700 --> 00:57:57,899
Fully body-to-body massage.
862
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,499
- Sawatdee kha?
- Sawatdee khrab?
863
00:58:00,700 --> 00:58:04,999
An incredible thing about Thailand
is the amazing traditional cuisine.
864
00:58:05,300 --> 00:58:09,199
I'm going to taste kapaluk,
the ultimate delicacy.
865
00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,399
Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!
866
00:58:13,700 --> 00:58:15,599
Oh, my God. My God.
867
00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,299
Um... Er... Mmm.
868
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,999
How about a lovely locust?
869
00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:23,299
I can't. No, no, I can't.
870
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,499
- They're delicious.
- [ Crunching ]
871
00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,299
Oh!
872
00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:37,299
[ Daniel ] Now that is Ko Panyi, which is
the setting for a very famous Thai poem,
873
00:58:37,700 --> 00:58:39,899
which I think you'd like very much, Jones.
874
00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:44,199
It's all about a badly-behaved prince
who finds true love with a beautiful,
875
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,699
and as it happens, very
slightly overweight princess.
876
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,999
- You're teasing me.
- I never tease about poetry.
877
00:58:52,900 --> 00:58:56,599
"Oh, Suvarnamali
Why can you not see that I adore you?"
878
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,299
"Why do you avoid and scorn me?"
879
00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:01,399
"If you cast me off and leave me.
880
00:59:01,700 --> 00:59:03,799
How should I live another day?"
881
00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:10,999
And you thought all I knew of Thailand
was pussies and ping-pong balls.
882
00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,299
- You wouldn't sleep with him?
- No, of course not.
883
00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,799
Absolutely not.
884
00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:19,099
But he is clever.
885
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,799
- Yes?
- And handsome.
886
00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:24,499
He's also a dysfunctional,
fucked-up, middle-aged, lost boy.
887
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,699
Well, no-one's perfect.
888
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,499
[ Birdsong ]
889
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,999
I didn't realize you were busy.
890
00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:41,599
- He's young enough to be your grandson.
- I know. Isn't that great?
891
00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:44,999
- [ Man yells ]
- [ Ladies shriek ]
892
00:59:45,300 --> 00:59:49,099
Come on, guys, I've got a very special
treat lined up for lunch.
893
00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:51,699
[ Bridget ] I'm getting rather fond of Jed,
894
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,199
and I must say he has a genuine
interest in Thai cuisine.
895
00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:59,299
[ Bridget ] I wouldn't have thought
omelette would be big in Thailand.
896
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,099
- Or mushrooms, for that matter.
- [ Jed ] It's magic.
897
01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,899
It is a magic mushroom omelette, isn't it?
898
01:00:09,700 --> 01:00:14,099
Well, that's awful.
There is nothing funny in this at all.
899
01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,399
Although, thank God,
900
01:00:19,100 --> 01:00:21,899
the mushrooms don't actually
seem to be working.
901
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,699
♪ [ Primal Scream: Loaded ] ♪
902
01:00:27,700 --> 01:00:29,799
♪ Just what is it that you want to do? ♪
903
01:00:31,300 --> 01:00:35,199
Such lovely colours! [ Gasps ]
904
01:00:35,500 --> 01:00:38,399
♪ We wanna get loaded And we ♪
♪ wanna have a good time... ♪
905
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:43,299
Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget!
Beautiful Bridget!
906
01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:47,999
Bridget Jones!
907
01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,299
[ Daniels voice, distorted ] Bridget Jones!
908
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,199
But, wait...
909
01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:58,599
- [ Daniel, distorted ] Bridget Jones?
- What sound is that?
910
01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,399
It is Daniel Cleaver. [ Echoes ]
911
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:11,499
[ Thinks ] How unutterably beautiful he is.
912
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,599
Jones, what the hell are you doing?
913
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,899
[ Bridget ] You are lovely colours.
914
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,699
♪ - I don't wanna lose your love... ♪
♪ - Here. ♪
915
01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:27,899
Here I am.
916
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,199
I think you're completely off your face.
917
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,499
- Hey.
- [ Bridget groans ]
918
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,699
- Bloody hell.
- [ Bridget groans and sighs ]
919
01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,299
Oh... Oh, I'm an angel.
920
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,099
Oh. How lovely.
921
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,699
Glorious sand.
922
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,699
Oh.
923
01:01:49,900 --> 01:01:51,999
I want to be naked.
924
01:01:52,700 --> 01:01:56,899
- Naked as a baby.
- Come on, then, angel. Up you get.
925
01:01:57,300 --> 01:01:59,199
[ Daniel strains ]
926
01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:02,199
- All right?
- Mmm.
927
01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,799
- [ Daniel ] How are you feeling?
- Completely embarrassed.
928
01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:10,299
Don't be. You're charming on drugs.
In future, just say yes.
929
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:16,299
Do you know, I never really understood
why you wanted to go out with me.
930
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:20,199
- It seemed so unlikely.
- Come on. For God's sake.
931
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,399
You're sexy. You make me laugh.
932
01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:25,999
At you, of course, not with you.
933
01:02:26,700 --> 01:02:28,699
And you were...
934
01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:30,599
incidentally...
935
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,099
the best shag...
936
01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:35,899
I ever had.
937
01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,699
The best?
938
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,199
Aside from Simon Reade
in the fifth-form locker room, yeah.
939
01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:44,799
Suppose I said you were pretty good too?
940
01:02:46,900 --> 01:02:48,899
Pretty good?
941
01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:52,399
Was I better than Mark Darcy?
942
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,799
By the way, is it true he always says
"I'm sorry, I think I'm going to come"?
943
01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,999
- Who told you that?
- It's common knowledge, isn't it?
944
01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:05,199
Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof?
945
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,499
And why?
946
01:03:08,700 --> 01:03:10,599
Let's just say
947
01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:14,099
that we suffered from a
fatal incompatibility.
948
01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:19,999
I have missed you, Jones.
949
01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:22,899
I don't suppose there's any circumstances
950
01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,499
in which you would ever consider
951
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,399
thinking about trusting me again?
952
01:03:31,300 --> 01:03:33,199
Absolutely not.
953
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:43,199
Well, I suppose I'll be getting
back to my little hut now.
954
01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:47,599
Thank you very much, Daniel.
I had a nice time.
955
01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:03,499
Is that the Big Dipper or the little one?
956
01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:05,999
I can never tell them apart.
957
01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,999
Definitely the big one.
958
01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:11,099
You can't see the little one
this close to the equator.
959
01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,899
Oh, please.
You don't know about astronomy.
960
01:04:15,300 --> 01:04:17,699
I most certainly do.
I'm passionate about it.
961
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,899
You know, Jones, if stargazing
is something that interests you,
962
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:28,099
then it has to be said that the view
from my balcony is quite outstanding.
963
01:04:29,700 --> 01:04:32,499
Perhaps you'd like to come
up and have a little look?
964
01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:34,599
I don't think so.
965
01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:37,899
See over there? Along my arm.
966
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,099
That's it, over there.
967
01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:43,399
That is Orion's Belt.
968
01:04:43,700 --> 01:04:48,699
And next to that is a very sexy little
constellation called Ursa's Maiden.
969
01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,200
Ah.
970
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,599
She's being very naughty and
trying to undo Orion's belt.
971
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:58,699
All right, what about...
that one?
972
01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:02,799
Yes, well that is a very, very famous star.
973
01:05:03,100 --> 01:05:05,399
Um, right next to, of course, um...
974
01:05:05,700 --> 01:05:06,799
[ chirruping ]
975
01:05:07,700 --> 01:05:11,899
I don't know, some other fucking star
that's been there for years and years.
976
01:05:12,300 --> 01:05:15,499
Seen one star, you've seen the lot,
that's what I say, Jones.
977
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,399
Different with girls, though.
978
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,499
Some girls...
979
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,699
are special.
980
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,999
Are they?
981
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,899
I think so.
982
01:05:33,100 --> 01:05:35,399
♪ [ 10cc I'm Not In Love ] ♪
983
01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:46,799
What is this special power
you hold over me, Jones?
984
01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,599
And what about your therapy?
985
01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:02,499
I think you might be it.
986
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:04,799
♪ I'm not in love ♪
987
01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,099
♪ So don't forget it ♪
988
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,899
♪ It's just a silly phase ♪
989
01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,099
♪ I'm going through ♪
990
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,799
♪ And just because ♪
991
01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,399
♪ I call you up ♪
992
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:25,699
♪ Don't get me wrong ♪
993
01:06:25,900 --> 01:06:28,699
♪ Don't think you've got it made ♪
994
01:06:31,100 --> 01:06:32,999
♪ I'm not in love... ♪
995
01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,499
God, I hope you're wearing
those giant panties.
996
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:37,899
Please.
997
01:06:38,100 --> 01:06:40,899
[ Smooching ] Please be
wearing the giant panties.
998
01:06:41,300 --> 01:06:43,299
Please. [ Gasps ]
999
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,499
Oh, my old friends.
1000
01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:48,399
Oh, Daddy's home.
1001
01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:52,399
Did you miss me?
Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did.
1002
01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:54,899
Wait.
1003
01:06:57,300 --> 01:06:58,799
Sorry.
1004
01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:01,099
Can I just have a minute?
1005
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,299
Just a minute.
1006
01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:13,499
[ Thinks ] Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
1007
01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,299
♪ Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry ♪
1008
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,499
♪ Big boys don't cry Big ♪
♪ boys don't cry... ♪
1009
01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:33,799
[ Sighs ]
1010
01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:38,499
- Everything all right?
- Yeah, sure.
1011
01:07:39,700 --> 01:07:41,699
Just a bit... nervous. [ Chuckles ]
1012
01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,699
I mean, you see, if I
stay with you tonight,
1013
01:07:45,900 --> 01:07:49,899
well, it's definitely
the end of something...
1014
01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:52,399
important with someone.
1015
01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,299
Um, which has probably ended already,
1016
01:07:55,500 --> 01:07:58,399
- but perhaps...
- Bridge, Bridge Bridge, Bridge.
1017
01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,999
Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?
1018
01:08:03,100 --> 01:08:04,399
Hmm?
1019
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:12,999
Except Hitler.
1020
01:08:14,700 --> 01:08:17,799
Well, he was very, very, very naughty.
1021
01:08:19,900 --> 01:08:21,299
[ Knocking ]
1022
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:25,499
What?
1023
01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:29,199
Nothing. Er, come back later, please.
Thank you very much.
1024
01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,099
[ Knocking ]
1025
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,699
Bridge, it's nothing.
Leave it. Leave it.
1026
01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:40,999
You made order for 10.30.
1027
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,999
Order for what?
1028
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:46,499
Me.
1029
01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:48,399
10.30.
1030
01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,199
You know, I've had it up
to here with this hotel.
1031
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:58,099
- It's been cock-ups like this all week.
- [ Thai girl ] You Mr. Cleaver?
1032
01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:02,799
Yesterday, you with Maria.
She say you big tipper.
1033
01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,699
[ Mumbles ]
1034
01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,299
I mean, I'm up for it if you are.
1035
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,999
Actually, no, that was stupid.
It's just one little slip.
1036
01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:24,699
Don't let it ruin what was gonna be
a fantastic weekend shagathon.
1037
01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:28,199
- I don't want a shagathon.
- No, nor do I. Nor do I.
1038
01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:31,399
- You're right.
- You're looking for a weekend of sex,
1039
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,899
- I'm looking...
- For more. I feel I can change.
1040
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,499
- I absolutely can change.
- I need to change.
1041
01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,899
I can't believe I fell for it again.
1042
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:42,899
Daniel, I really do think
1043
01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:45,799
that you should go and fuck yourself.
1044
01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:49,899
Or her. But definitely not me.
1045
01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:51,599
♪ Think - Think ♪
1046
01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:54,199
♪ Think about what you're ♪
♪ trying to do to me ♪
1047
01:09:54,500 --> 01:09:55,999
♪ Think - Think think ♪
1048
01:09:56,300 --> 01:09:57,399
♪ Let your mind go... ♪
1049
01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:00,099
I can't believe he made
up the sex therapy thing.
1050
01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:02,799
Doesn't matter.
I finally learnt my lesson,
1051
01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:05,799
and it's an excellent
lesson to have nailed.
1052
01:10:06,500 --> 01:10:07,999
- Fuck!
- What?
1053
01:10:08,300 --> 01:10:10,599
No fucking room in the fucking suitcase.
1054
01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:13,199
There's room in mine. Give me something.
1055
01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,099
Great.
1056
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:18,699
- What the hell is this?
- It is a fertility-snake bowl.
1057
01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,299
- Ooh.
- Jed gave it to me.
1058
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:23,499
♪ - Think think. ♪
♪ - Let your mind go... ♪
1059
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:25,099
How romantic.
1060
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:26,499
♪ Freedom... ♪
1061
01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:30,699
The way I look at it, in everyone's
life, there's a certain amount of shit.
1062
01:10:31,100 --> 01:10:33,499
- That's true.
- In the last year,
1063
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:36,099
things have turned out pretty shitty.
1064
01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,499
So logically, mathematically, even,
1065
01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,599
it's got to be time for something not shit.
1066
01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:46,499
- [ Shazzer ] Like what?
- Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca.
1067
01:10:46,900 --> 01:10:49,199
And he'll run to my door,
1068
01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:53,599
fall to his knees, possibly
wearing a wet white shirt,
1069
01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,799
and beg me to come back.
1070
01:10:55,900 --> 01:10:57,099
♪ Think - Think ♪
1071
01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,099
♪ Think about what you're ♪
♪ tryin' to do to me... ♪
1072
01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:05,699
Yes, I very confidently expect
very, very good times ahead.
1073
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,699
[ PA ] Final call for all
passengers to London...
1074
01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,799
Isn't he cute? Hello.
1075
01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:13,899
Hello. Oh...
1076
01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,099
Seems to be getting a bit excited.
[ Laughs ]
1077
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,299
Oh.
1078
01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:20,899
Er...
1079
01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:25,399
- [ Shazzer ] Bridget!
- It's just a misunderstanding.
1080
01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:27,399
Hold the plane.
1081
01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:29,299
Hold the plane.
1082
01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:31,599
[ Shazzer ] Excuse me! Excuse me!
1083
01:11:31,900 --> 01:11:36,499
[ PA ] All remaining passengers
please report to Gate 27 immediately.
1084
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:44,599
[ Thud ]
1085
01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,699
It's not mine.
1086
01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,299
- These yours?
- Yes.
1087
01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,699
I mean, they're not my favourite pair.
1088
01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,099
[ Siren ]
1089
01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:01,999
[ Brakes screech ]
1090
01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,199
You can't do this. I'm English.
1091
01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:08,599
And an award-winning journalist.
1092
01:12:08,900 --> 01:12:13,199
Well, maybe not award-winning, but I
have been to lots of award ceremonies.
1093
01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,499
[ Door rattles and clangs ]
1094
01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:21,499
[ Clang ]
1095
01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:25,399
Hello. Bridget Jones.
1096
01:12:28,100 --> 01:12:30,199
Lovely to meet all of you.
1097
01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:34,899
[ Bridget ] Oh, my bloody God and fuck.
1098
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,599
I hope they've told the British ambassador.
1099
01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:40,499
Surely Shazzer would have raised the alert.
1100
01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:42,899
Maybe they got Shazzer as well.
1101
01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:46,599
[ Woman speaks Thai ]
1102
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:52,899
Oh, God, 28 hours.
1103
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,799
How much longer?
1104
01:12:56,100 --> 01:12:58,799
[ Man ] Jones.
Bridget Jones, you come now.
1105
01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:03,500
[ Clang ]
1106
01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:11,099
Charlie Parker-Knowles,
Assistant Consul.
1107
01:13:11,300 --> 01:13:13,499
Thank God you're here.
1108
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,099
Um, shall we...
1109
01:13:17,300 --> 01:13:20,299
I really had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
1110
01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:22,599
Jed planned the whole thing.
1111
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:25,799
That's why he snogged Shazzer,
who's much older than him
1112
01:13:26,100 --> 01:13:27,999
and slightly past her peak.
1113
01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,699
Yes, he sounds the most frightful shit.
1114
01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:32,199
Mmm.
1115
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:36,699
The bore is everyone who gets caught
has exactly the same story,
1116
01:13:37,100 --> 01:13:41,699
so unless we find this, this Jed fellow
and get a full confession,
1117
01:13:42,100 --> 01:13:44,099
you're on a bit of a sticky wicket.
1118
01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,599
Well, how sticky?
1119
01:13:46,900 --> 01:13:49,099
Something like 15 to 20 years.
1120
01:13:49,400 --> 01:13:52,799
- [ Whispers ] 15 years?
- Or maybe ten if we're lucky.
1121
01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:54,999
Ten years!
1122
01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:57,599
In here?
1123
01:14:10,300 --> 01:14:12,299
[ Bridget ] Very black.
1124
01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:16,499
All my life I've had the feeling
something terrible was about to happen.
1125
01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:19,599
Now it has.
1126
01:14:21,900 --> 01:14:23,799
Bijjit, right?
1127
01:14:24,100 --> 01:14:25,999
Bridget, actually.
1128
01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:27,999
My name Phrao.
1129
01:14:28,300 --> 01:14:30,199
You're my friend?
1130
01:14:36,500 --> 01:14:38,499
- Steady on!
- Super bra!
1131
01:14:38,700 --> 01:14:41,799
You lend me. One day, two cigarette.
1132
01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,699
Oh. [ Laughs ]
1133
01:14:44,900 --> 01:14:46,999
Well, I'll think about it.
1134
01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,199
Actually, I was thinking of giving up,
1135
01:14:50,500 --> 01:14:53,799
but that was before I was arrested
and thrown into a Thai prison
1136
01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:56,599
for ten to 15 years. [ Laughs ]
1137
01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,499
Circumstances change.
1138
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:04,699
No, it really, really is "touched".
1139
01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:09,899
"Like a vir-gin,
touched for the very first time".
1140
01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:11,699
- No, you wrong.
- No.
1141
01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:13,799
♪ Like a version ♪
1142
01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,799
♪ - Vir-gin. ♪
♪ - Fucked for the very first time ♪
1143
01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:20,699
♪ - Touched. ♪
♪ - Like a wersion ♪
1144
01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,999
[ Bridget ] Ten years of this? I.
1145
01:15:23,300 --> 01:15:25,999
Stop! Enough. Enough.
1146
01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:29,899
If you're going to do it,
you really ought to do it properly.
1147
01:15:30,700 --> 01:15:35,899
After all, Madonna is nothing
if not a perfectionist.
1148
01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:38,599
Five, six, seven, eight and one...
1149
01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,099
♪ Like a virgin ♪
1150
01:15:42,100 --> 01:15:45,999
♪ Touched for the very first time ♪
1151
01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:50,199
♪ Like a virgin ♪
1152
01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:52,999
♪ When your heart beats ♪
1153
01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:56,099
♪ Next to mine... ♪
1154
01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:57,899
[ Cheering ]
1155
01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:02,499
[ Bridget ] Dear Mum and Dad,
1156
01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:04,599
I'm missing you a lot.
1157
01:16:04,900 --> 01:16:07,199
Please write as soon as you can.
1158
01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:12,099
I'm feeling pretty low.
1159
01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:15,399
[ Man ] Bijjit Jone.
1160
01:16:15,700 --> 01:16:17,999
[ Inmates shout ]
1161
01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,399
In there. You have five minutes.
1162
01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:23,399
Just five.
1163
01:16:23,700 --> 01:16:25,599
[ Door creaks and clangs ]
1164
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:32,999
Mark?
1165
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,899
You all right?
1166
01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:42,599
Oh... [ laughs ] Fine.
1167
01:16:42,900 --> 01:16:44,499
Hmm.
1168
01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:52,599
And... scared shitless.
1169
01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:54,799
But, you know, perky.
1170
01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,899
I can't believe you've come all this way.
1171
01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:03,399
I haven't. I was out here
handling a Foreign Office case
1172
01:17:03,700 --> 01:17:05,599
when I heard about your situation.
1173
01:17:05,900 --> 01:17:08,299
I haven't done anything wrong.
1174
01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:11,099
I promise you, it's all a big mistake.
1175
01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:13,799
Yes, well, I'm sure it is.
1176
01:17:14,100 --> 01:17:17,099
I've got all the papers here
and I'm sure we can sort it out.
1177
01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:21,699
I think about you all the time.
And I'm so sorry,
1178
01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:26,199
I really, really am,
for everything that happened between us.
1179
01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,499
Yes, well... [ clears throat ]
1180
01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:32,499
We don't have much time and I need you
to identify someone for me.
1181
01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:36,499
Is this the man with whom you were
seen taking hallucinogenic mushrooms
1182
01:17:36,900 --> 01:17:39,499
before you spent the night
with Daniel Cleaver?
1183
01:17:39,700 --> 01:17:42,399
Yes, that's him, but I
think you should know...
1184
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:45,699
The same man who gave you the
snake containing the drugs?
1185
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:48,299
Yes, that's him, that's Jed.
1186
01:17:48,600 --> 01:17:50,599
But it was Shazzer's snake, not mine,
1187
01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:53,099
and as far as Daniel Cleaver goes...
1188
01:17:53,300 --> 01:17:56,299
Your sex life doesn't concern me at all.
1189
01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:10,199
Has there been any ill treatment here?
1190
01:18:10,900 --> 01:18:14,299
No, no. Well, I mean...
1191
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:17,899
the toilet facilities
are well below par, but...
1192
01:18:18,100 --> 01:18:19,999
Good, that makes things simpler.
1193
01:18:23,700 --> 01:18:26,699
Listen, they're prepared to
drop all charges against you
1194
01:18:27,100 --> 01:18:30,399
which is extremely lenient,
given the circumstances.
1195
01:18:30,700 --> 01:18:33,099
You're going to be out within a week.
1196
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:38,599
And...
1197
01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:43,899
[ zip ]
1198
01:18:46,300 --> 01:18:48,099
Goodbye.
1199
01:18:52,700 --> 01:18:54,099
Mark?
1200
01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:55,899
[ Clang ]
1201
01:19:04,700 --> 01:19:06,499
Thank you.
1202
01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:10,999
You're welcome. I'm just the messenger.
The order came from above.
1203
01:19:13,300 --> 01:19:15,999
Well, good luck.
Glad I could be of help.
1204
01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:40,699
So, Bijjit, what happen?
1205
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:42,999
Well, um...
1206
01:19:44,100 --> 01:19:46,299
Bijjit! How this can happen?
1207
01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:49,599
This is terrible! You are innocent!
1208
01:19:49,900 --> 01:19:53,499
- They're always cheating us.
- No, no, no. That's all fine.
1209
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:57,099
They've dropped the charges
and they're letting me go.
1210
01:19:57,400 --> 01:19:59,299
But that good news.
1211
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:01,599
What is wrong?
1212
01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:05,399
Mark Darcy definitely...
1213
01:20:05,700 --> 01:20:08,199
doesn't love me anymore.
1214
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:10,199
[ All ] Ohhh.
1215
01:20:10,900 --> 01:20:13,599
You see the trouble is it
was me who chucked him.
1216
01:20:13,900 --> 01:20:15,999
[ Phrao ] He treat you bad?
1217
01:20:16,100 --> 01:20:17,999
Yeah, actually, he did.
1218
01:20:18,300 --> 01:20:20,499
My boyfriend treat me bad too.
1219
01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:22,399
- Me too.
- [ Girl ] Mine as well.
1220
01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:23,999
[ Girl ] Me too.
1221
01:20:24,300 --> 01:20:27,599
Then you know all about it.
You think you've found the right man,
1222
01:20:27,900 --> 01:20:30,199
but then there's so much wrong with him
1223
01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:34,499
and he finds there's so much wrong
with you and it all just falls apart.
1224
01:20:34,900 --> 01:20:37,199
Don't tell me. My boyfriend,
1225
01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:39,399
he seem really nice.
1226
01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:43,599
Then he start to hit me.
Make me work on street.
1227
01:20:43,900 --> 01:20:46,199
My boyfriend, he say he love me.
1228
01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:50,099
But he do no work, and make
me work 24 hour a day.
1229
01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,599
Then he make me take heroin drug.
1230
01:20:52,900 --> 01:20:56,399
What about you, Bijjit?
What your bad boyfriend do?
1231
01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:59,899
Well, er...
1232
01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:04,499
he really didn't stick up for me
at this lawyers' supper...
1233
01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:09,099
and, um, then he would fold his...
[ chuckles ]
1234
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,999
Oh, same sort of thing, really.
1235
01:21:14,300 --> 01:21:19,099
Hitting me and making me take drugs.
Stealing all my money and stuff.
1236
01:21:19,900 --> 01:21:24,199
[ Bridget ] Oh, God.
I've been the world's biggest fool.
1237
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:26,999
[ Gate slams ]
1238
01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:32,099
Bijjit?
1239
01:21:33,100 --> 01:21:35,899
Just a few tiny leaving presents.
No luxuries.
1240
01:21:38,100 --> 01:21:39,599
[ All gasp ]
1241
01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:42,199
♪ [ Madonna ] Living in a material world ♪
1242
01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,699
♪ And I am a material girl ♪
1243
01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:49,099
♪ You know that we are ♪
♪ living in a material world ♪
1244
01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:51,899
♪ And I am a material girl ♪
1245
01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,199
♪ Living in a material world ♪
1246
01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:59,499
♪ And I am a material girl? ♪
1247
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:03,199
If you want something smooth on your wall,
1248
01:22:03,500 --> 01:22:05,399
you could do worse than John Currin.
1249
01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:08,599
He is about the only contemporary
painter who can paint.
1250
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:12,099
There's usually something
interesting and allegorical,
1251
01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:15,199
plus of course, there is a
very high perv quotient.
1252
01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:17,899
- [ Mark ] Did you see her?
- Out. Out it.
1253
01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:20,499
Sorry, everyone, sorry. It's my stalker.
1254
01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:24,199
Fuck off, Darcy, some
people have jobs to do.
1255
01:22:25,100 --> 01:22:28,699
Did you see her surrounded
by police, dogs, handcuffs?
1256
01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:32,399
Come on, she's a big girl, she
can take care of herself.
1257
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:35,999
I'm only going to ask you one more time.
Did you see her?
1258
01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:38,599
You're only gonna ask me one more time?
1259
01:22:38,900 --> 01:22:42,299
- You haven't got your wig on now, dear.
- I'll take that as a yes.
1260
01:22:42,700 --> 01:22:44,899
Yes, I did see her.
1261
01:22:45,100 --> 01:22:48,399
I thought she was smuggling
seashells, or mangoes.
1262
01:22:48,700 --> 01:22:49,999
Right.
1263
01:22:50,300 --> 01:22:54,399
Right, good.
Will you step outside, please?
1264
01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:56,999
Oh, no, it's not possible.
1265
01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:00,599
Darcy, do you have any idea
what century we actually live in?
1266
01:23:00,900 --> 01:23:04,199
Are you gonna step outside or
am I gonna have to drag you?
1267
01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:06,699
I think you're gonna have to drag me.
1268
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,999
[ Birds cry ]
1269
01:23:09,300 --> 01:23:11,999
♪ [ The Darkness: ♪
♪ I Believe In A Thing Called Love ] ♪
1270
01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:15,699
- [ Daniel ] You're insane!
- And you're a disgrace, Cleaver.
1271
01:23:16,500 --> 01:23:18,599
[ Daniel ] You're pulling my hair!
1272
01:23:18,900 --> 01:23:21,899
I'm not going in the sodding water.
1273
01:23:25,500 --> 01:23:29,399
♪ Touching you 'Cause you're touching me ♪
1274
01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:33,599
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
1275
01:23:33,900 --> 01:23:35,699
♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪
1276
01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,560
♪ There's a chance we can make it now ♪
1277
01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:39,399
♪ We'll be rockin' till the sun goes down ♪
1278
01:23:39,700 --> 01:23:42,799
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
1279
01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,599
♪ Oooh-ooh ooh... ♪
1280
01:23:45,900 --> 01:23:48,399
- Fuck off!
- No, you're going in, Cleaver!
1281
01:23:48,700 --> 01:23:51,299
If I'm going in, you're coming with me.
1282
01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,399
You smug bastard.
1283
01:23:53,700 --> 01:23:55,499
[ Clamouring ]
1284
01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:57,899
- [ Daniel ] Oh, my God.
- Get up.
1285
01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:00,099
[ Child laughs ]
1286
01:24:01,700 --> 01:24:03,599
Well, what are you gonna do now?
1287
01:24:03,900 --> 01:24:06,199
Drown me in 16 inches of water?
1288
01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:08,199
Yes, good idea.
1289
01:24:14,900 --> 01:24:16,399
Fuck! Stop, stop.
1290
01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:18,599
Listen, listen, listen...
1291
01:24:18,900 --> 01:24:22,999
OK, I left her at the airport.
I shouldn't have done that.
1292
01:24:24,200 --> 01:24:26,199
But she bumped into Jed herself
1293
01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:29,199
and I didn't fucking well
seduce her, all right?
1294
01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:33,199
- You didn't?
- There's something wrong with her.
1295
01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,199
She's gone all frigid.
1296
01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:37,699
I spent the night with
a gorgeous Thai girl.
1297
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,699
Who in fact turned out to
be a gorgeous Thai boy.
1298
01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:42,999
Satisfied?
1299
01:24:45,700 --> 01:24:47,299
Yes.
1300
01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,099
Thank you.
1301
01:24:53,900 --> 01:24:55,799
You know what, mate?
1302
01:24:56,500 --> 01:25:00,499
If you're so obsessed with Bridget
Jones, why don't you just marry her?
1303
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,699
'Cause then she'd definitely shag me.
1304
01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:08,199
♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪
1305
01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:10,099
♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪
1306
01:25:10,300 --> 01:25:13,499
♪ I believe in a thing called love? ♪
1307
01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:17,499
- [ Man ] Bridget!
- [ Second man ] Bridget! Over here!
1308
01:25:17,700 --> 01:25:18,799
[ Reporters shout ]
1309
01:25:19,100 --> 01:25:21,299
- What was it like?
- How did you survive?
1310
01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:25,799
Any girl who's been single in London
knows how to handle herself.
1311
01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,699
- Darling!
- [ Man ] Will you be going back?
1312
01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:31,499
Sorry I didn't write.
I've just been so busy.
1313
01:25:31,800 --> 01:25:34,599
Hello, darling. You look lovely.
1314
01:25:34,900 --> 01:25:37,599
- Skinny, but lovely.
- Oh, thank you.
1315
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:40,899
- [ Reporters shout ]
- Oh, it's good to be home.
1316
01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:43,499
- [ Mr. Jones ] Oiggy?
- No, no, thanks.
1317
01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:46,899
- I've given up again.
- Shame. I find them very useful.
1318
01:25:47,100 --> 01:25:51,199
I take great comfort in the fact they
might kill me before things get worse.
1319
01:25:59,900 --> 01:26:02,899
The Darcys rang to say how
pleased they were you were out.
1320
01:26:03,800 --> 01:26:06,499
I rather thought Mark might
be here to meet you.
1321
01:26:06,900 --> 01:26:09,299
Yes, but you must remember we split up.
1322
01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,799
So no hope there?
1323
01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:13,899
No hope there.
1324
01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:18,999
Believe me, next time I
will not fuck it up, Mum.
1325
01:26:19,400 --> 01:26:21,499
- Language, darling.
- Sorry.
1326
01:26:22,700 --> 01:26:26,099
Next time, I will not fuck it up...
1327
01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:29,199
Mother. [ Mr. Jones laughs ]
1328
01:26:29,700 --> 01:26:31,599
♪ [ Robbie Williams: Misunderstood ] ♪
1329
01:26:31,900 --> 01:26:33,999
♪ Trying to be misunderstood ♪
1330
01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:42,099
♪ But it doesn't do me any good ♪
1331
01:26:46,700 --> 01:26:50,299
♪ Love the way they smiled at me ♪
1332
01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:53,999
♪ Hold that face for eternity ♪
1333
01:26:54,900 --> 01:26:58,699
♪ Now let them all fly off ♪
1334
01:27:02,000 --> 01:27:04,999
♪ When it comes down ♪
1335
01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:09,299
♪ It all comes down ♪
1336
01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:14,499
♪ And you will not be found ♪
1337
01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:20,999
♪ When it's over ♪
1338
01:27:21,700 --> 01:27:24,699
♪ It's all over ♪
1339
01:27:26,900 --> 01:27:29,999
♪ Even if I make a sound... ♪
1340
01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:38,999
Surprise!
1341
01:27:39,300 --> 01:27:41,099
- Hello.
- Hello.
1342
01:27:41,300 --> 01:27:43,199
- [ Tom ] Oh, darling.
- Hiya.
1343
01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:45,399
Bridget...
1344
01:27:45,700 --> 01:27:47,499
I'm so sorry.
1345
01:27:49,300 --> 01:27:51,399
It's all right.
1346
01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:58,799
Well, thank God for Mark Darcy.
I mean, he might be a boring arse,
1347
01:27:59,200 --> 01:28:01,199
but he performed a miracle.
1348
01:28:02,500 --> 01:28:04,899
That's a bit of an overstatement.
1349
01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:08,299
He actually seems to be the
villain of this piece.
1350
01:28:09,100 --> 01:28:13,699
He's a top human rights lawyer and he
left it to someone else to get me out.
1351
01:28:14,100 --> 01:28:16,099
He was just a messenger.
1352
01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,899
- [ Tom ] Who told you that?
- He did.
1353
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:22,099
Straight from the horse's mouth.
1354
01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:25,799
The horse wasn't quite
telling you the truth.
1355
01:28:26,100 --> 01:28:28,399
I called Mark the minute
I landed in London.
1356
01:28:28,700 --> 01:28:30,999
We went to his office and
within half an hour,
1357
01:28:31,300 --> 01:28:34,199
he'd woken two Cabinet
ministers and half of Ml5.
1358
01:28:34,400 --> 01:28:38,299
But none of them could locate Jed,
so Mark flew over to Interpol.
1359
01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:40,999
Which is in Lyon.
They located Jed in Dubai,
1360
01:28:41,300 --> 01:28:43,799
but they don't normally extradite people,
1361
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:47,299
so Mark rang the Home Secretary
who rang our ambassador...
1362
01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:50,799
In Riyadh. Then Mark flew to Dubai
where he identified Jed,
1363
01:28:51,100 --> 01:28:53,299
who was impounded and pushed out into...
1364
01:28:53,600 --> 01:28:56,499
Saudi Arabia, where Mark was
waiting with the police.
1365
01:28:56,700 --> 01:29:00,999
Jed was arrested and extradited back
to Britain. Then Mark flew to Bangkok,
1366
01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:04,299
to make damn sure they'd let you go.
1367
01:29:05,400 --> 01:29:06,999
Oh.
1368
01:29:11,300 --> 01:29:13,899
He was just angry about Daniel Cleaver.
1369
01:29:16,800 --> 01:29:19,699
- He must still love me.
- He fucking must.
1370
01:29:20,300 --> 01:29:21,999
Taxi?
1371
01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:23,599
Yes, please.
1372
01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:27,499
[ All shriek ]
1373
01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:29,899
Get in the cab!
1374
01:29:30,100 --> 01:29:32,099
[ All shout ]
1375
01:29:33,700 --> 01:29:35,299
Hurry!
1376
01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:03,199
Oh. I forgot about you.
1377
01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:07,299
Er, I, I, I just wanted to, um...
1378
01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:09,599
say something to Mark.
1379
01:30:09,900 --> 01:30:12,199
He's at the office.
Do you want to come in?
1380
01:30:13,600 --> 01:30:16,799
Oh, no. No, no, I don't think I will.
1381
01:30:18,300 --> 01:30:21,599
I really hope that you'll
be happy together.
1382
01:30:21,900 --> 01:30:23,899
- Sorry?
- You and Mark.
1383
01:30:24,200 --> 01:30:27,999
I really hope that you'll
be very happy together.
1384
01:30:28,300 --> 01:30:30,299
No, no, no, Bridget, listen...
1385
01:30:30,600 --> 01:30:32,899
you've got it completely wrong.
1386
01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:35,399
I'm not in love with him.
1387
01:30:35,600 --> 01:30:37,799
How could I be when I'm...
1388
01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:41,099
seriously heartbroken and
smitten with someone else?
1389
01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:44,599
Someone else?
1390
01:30:44,900 --> 01:30:47,499
- You, Bridget.
- Me?
1391
01:30:48,300 --> 01:30:51,699
Ever since I saw you here with
your hair messed that night
1392
01:30:52,100 --> 01:30:54,899
and bits of garden stuck to you.
You must have noticed.
1393
01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:59,299
I try to hide it, but every
time I see you, I light up.
1394
01:31:01,700 --> 01:31:03,999
I thought you were just, you know...
1395
01:31:05,100 --> 01:31:06,199
lying.
1396
01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:08,599
Was every look I ever gave you a lie?
1397
01:31:08,800 --> 01:31:10,499
I've been looking forward to this.
1398
01:31:10,700 --> 01:31:12,899
Lovely to see you, Bridget.
1399
01:31:31,100 --> 01:31:33,199
- [ Rebecca sighs ]
- Thank you very much.
1400
01:31:34,700 --> 01:31:36,699
That was lovely.
1401
01:31:38,200 --> 01:31:39,999
Really lovely.
1402
01:31:40,300 --> 01:31:42,699
But I'm afraid it's still men in general,
1403
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:46,599
and Mark Darcy in particular, that I love.
1404
01:31:47,100 --> 01:31:48,399
Right.
1405
01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:54,299
If, er, if I ever do decide to, um...
1406
01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:57,699
you know, bat for the other side...
1407
01:31:59,100 --> 01:32:01,399
well, there's no-one else.
1408
01:32:02,300 --> 01:32:03,599
Only you.
1409
01:32:06,500 --> 01:32:08,399
♪ [ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love ] ♪
1410
01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:13,999
- Hello, Giles.
- Hello, Bridget.
1411
01:32:15,800 --> 01:32:17,799
♪ Open up your eyes ♪
1412
01:32:18,100 --> 01:32:19,699
♪ Then you'll realize ♪
1413
01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,599
♪ Here I stand with my ♪
1414
01:32:21,900 --> 01:32:23,699
♪ Everlasting love ♪
1415
01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:25,699
♪ Need you by my side ♪
1416
01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:27,599
♪ Girl, to be my bride ♪
1417
01:32:27,900 --> 01:32:29,499
♪ You'll never be denied... ♪
1418
01:32:29,700 --> 01:32:32,199
Inns of Court, please. Fast as you can.
1419
01:32:36,500 --> 01:32:38,999
What do you think of this jacket?
1420
01:32:39,300 --> 01:32:41,799
- Yeah, very nice indeed.
- No, be honest.
1421
01:32:42,100 --> 01:32:45,299
What do you think of the whole
jacket/trouser combination?
1422
01:32:46,100 --> 01:32:49,899
- Disaster.
- Actually, can we take a tiny detour?
1423
01:32:51,100 --> 01:32:53,699
I'll be back in literally two seconds.
1424
01:32:55,500 --> 01:32:57,499
♪ Where life really flows ♪
1425
01:32:57,800 --> 01:32:59,199
♪ No-one really knows ♪
1426
01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:00,999
♪ Till someone's there to show ♪
1427
01:33:01,300 --> 01:33:02,899
♪ The way to lasting love ♪
1428
01:33:03,200 --> 01:33:06,599
♪ Need a love to last forever ♪
1429
01:33:07,100 --> 01:33:10,299
♪ Need a love to last forever... ♪
1430
01:33:16,600 --> 01:33:18,299
Oh.
1431
01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:25,999
♪ [ Barry White: You're My ♪
♪ First, My Last, My Everything ] ♪
1432
01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:31,599
♪ You're the first ♪
1433
01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:33,399
♪ The last ♪
1434
01:33:33,700 --> 01:33:35,499
♪ My everything ♪
1435
01:33:37,300 --> 01:33:39,399
♪ And the answer to ♪
1436
01:33:40,200 --> 01:33:42,299
♪ All my dreams ♪
1437
01:33:44,900 --> 01:33:46,399
♪ You're my sun ♪
1438
01:33:46,600 --> 01:33:47,999
♪ My moon ♪
1439
01:33:49,700 --> 01:33:51,499
♪ My guiding star ♪
1440
01:33:53,100 --> 01:33:55,399
♪ My kind of wonderful ♪
1441
01:33:56,900 --> 01:33:58,599
♪ That's what you are... ♪
1442
01:34:00,100 --> 01:34:02,499
- You look gorgeous.
- Thank you.
1443
01:34:02,700 --> 01:34:05,199
Very important at this moment.
1444
01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:09,199
♪ There's no way ♪
1445
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,099
♪ - They could have made two... ♪
♪ - [ Shrieks ] ♪
1446
01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:15,499
Doesn't matter. It's not about looks.
1447
01:34:16,500 --> 01:34:18,099
[ Shrieks ]
1448
01:34:18,300 --> 01:34:21,699
♪ - Your love I'll keep for evermore. ♪
♪ - As I was saying. ♪
1449
01:34:22,100 --> 01:34:23,399
♪ You're the first... ♪
1450
01:34:24,100 --> 01:34:27,099
Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr. Darcy.
1451
01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:30,499
Down there, right along the corridor,
and just to the left.
1452
01:34:30,900 --> 01:34:32,599
Thank you very much.
1453
01:34:32,800 --> 01:34:35,599
♪ [ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love ] ♪
1454
01:34:42,400 --> 01:34:44,899
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1455
01:34:45,300 --> 01:34:47,199
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1456
01:34:47,400 --> 01:34:49,499
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1457
01:34:49,800 --> 01:34:51,899
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... ♪
1458
01:34:53,600 --> 01:34:56,299
I love you.
I always have and I always will.
1459
01:34:59,400 --> 01:35:01,499
Oh, um...
1460
01:35:01,700 --> 01:35:04,899
I don't love you, and I never have, and...
1461
01:35:05,700 --> 01:35:08,099
I never will. Sorry.
1462
01:35:18,500 --> 01:35:20,199
Come in.
1463
01:35:25,800 --> 01:35:27,799
Hello, Bridget.
1464
01:35:28,100 --> 01:35:29,999
Hello, Mark.
1465
01:35:30,700 --> 01:35:32,399
Er...
1466
01:35:33,200 --> 01:35:35,099
I'm sorry, I'm disturbing you.
1467
01:35:37,400 --> 01:35:40,099
- Well, yes, a bit.
- I'll just...
1468
01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,499
sit outside while you finish.
1469
01:35:42,800 --> 01:35:46,999
No, no, no, please, say what
you have to say, young lady.
1470
01:35:48,200 --> 01:35:51,299
Mr. Santiago
is the Peruvian Secretary for Trade.
1471
01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:54,299
And Mr. Herñez is his number two.
1472
01:35:55,500 --> 01:35:57,399
Hello. [ Chuckles ]
1473
01:35:57,700 --> 01:35:59,199
Hello.
1474
01:36:00,100 --> 01:36:02,099
Hello, hello, hello. [ Laughs ]
1475
01:36:06,700 --> 01:36:08,899
How can we help you, young lady?
1476
01:36:10,100 --> 01:36:11,799
Well, er...
1477
01:36:13,100 --> 01:36:14,999
Er... [ Bridget laughs ]
1478
01:36:15,300 --> 01:36:17,899
I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy here
1479
01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:22,799
that I heard what magnificent work
1480
01:36:23,200 --> 01:36:26,099
he actually did releasing me from prison.
1481
01:36:26,400 --> 01:36:28,299
[ Muttering ]
1482
01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:34,399
Tiny, tiny misunderstanding to do
with an enormous stash of cocaine.
1483
01:36:34,800 --> 01:36:37,399
And I also wanted to say,
1484
01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:41,699
since having found out that his
girlfriend is actually a lesbian...
1485
01:36:42,100 --> 01:36:43,799
[ man coughs ]
1486
01:36:45,300 --> 01:36:46,899
That I love him.
1487
01:36:50,200 --> 01:36:53,099
Always have. Always will.
1488
01:36:54,700 --> 01:36:57,499
And that I'm...
1489
01:36:58,700 --> 01:37:00,099
you know...
1490
01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:02,699
available for dates...
1491
01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:05,899
if he should feel so inclined.
1492
01:37:10,600 --> 01:37:13,199
So, er, your girlfriend is a lesbian.
1493
01:37:14,600 --> 01:37:18,099
Look, if you'll all just
excuse us for a second...
1494
01:37:18,900 --> 01:37:20,599
I think we should...
1495
01:37:38,900 --> 01:37:42,599
Bridget, that was not the most romantic
proposition I've ever heard.
1496
01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:46,299
Well, maybe it is romantic
1497
01:37:46,600 --> 01:37:48,899
because it's not. I mean...
1498
01:37:49,200 --> 01:37:52,699
I know there's no music
playing, and it's not snowing,
1499
01:37:53,900 --> 01:37:59,199
but that doesn't mean that it,
that it can't really be something.
1500
01:38:01,700 --> 01:38:03,599
You're right.
1501
01:38:05,700 --> 01:38:08,599
In fact, there's a question
I've been meaning to ask you.
1502
01:38:08,900 --> 01:38:11,999
All right. As long as it's not
"Will you marry me?"
1503
01:38:18,900 --> 01:38:22,099
Oh, God.
It is "Will you marry me?"
1504
01:38:22,500 --> 01:38:24,699
Well, I'm not gonna say it now.
1505
01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:27,499
- Is it "Will you marry me?"
- The moment's gone.
1506
01:38:27,800 --> 01:38:29,899
No. No, no, no. No, wait.
1507
01:38:30,800 --> 01:38:32,299
Wait.
1508
01:38:32,600 --> 01:38:33,899
- Bridget.
- Start again.
1509
01:38:34,200 --> 01:38:36,099
- No.
- Start again.
1510
01:38:36,300 --> 01:38:38,199
I'm not gonna... It's...
1511
01:38:38,500 --> 01:38:41,799
We've just stepped out into the corridor,
1512
01:38:42,200 --> 01:38:44,299
you say "I've got a question to ask you"
1513
01:38:44,600 --> 01:38:46,699
and I don't say anything.
1514
01:38:52,600 --> 01:38:54,699
And... And...
1515
01:38:56,000 --> 01:38:57,499
You say...
1516
01:39:05,800 --> 01:39:08,499
Bridget Jones, will you marry me?
1517
01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:33,599
[ Vicar ] Dearly beloved, we
are gathered here this day
1518
01:39:33,900 --> 01:39:36,499
to unite this couple.
1519
01:39:37,100 --> 01:39:40,099
Do you affirm your love, one to the other?
1520
01:39:41,300 --> 01:39:43,499
I do. Again.
1521
01:39:43,700 --> 01:39:45,499
And Colin?
1522
01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:47,599
I do. Again.
1523
01:39:48,300 --> 01:39:50,299
As well. Of course.
1524
01:39:51,500 --> 01:39:54,099
♪ [ Marvin Gaye Let's Get It On ] ♪
1525
01:39:54,500 --> 01:39:58,199
♪ I've been really tryin', baby... ♪
1526
01:40:00,300 --> 01:40:04,099
[ Bridget ]
December 31st, year-end summary.
1527
01:40:04,400 --> 01:40:06,499
Prison stays, one.
1528
01:40:06,700 --> 01:40:09,399
Lesbian kisses, one.
1529
01:40:09,600 --> 01:40:11,899
Pounds lost, minus one.
1530
01:40:12,200 --> 01:40:16,499
Boyfriends lost but then regained
following major diplomatic incident,
1531
01:40:16,900 --> 01:40:18,799
one.
1532
01:40:19,100 --> 01:40:21,899
Marriage proposals, one.
1533
01:40:22,200 --> 01:40:24,599
An excellent year's progress.
1534
01:40:24,800 --> 01:40:29,599
Bridget Jones has cocked things
up for the very last time.
1535
01:40:30,900 --> 01:40:32,599
[ Shrieks ]
1536
01:40:35,400 --> 01:40:37,599
♪ [ Will Young ] Your love is king ♪
1537
01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:40,799
♪ Crown you in my heart ♪
1538
01:40:41,100 --> 01:40:42,999
♪ Your love is king ♪
1539
01:40:44,100 --> 01:40:45,699
♪ Never need to part ♪
1540
01:40:46,000 --> 01:40:48,399
♪ Your kisses ring ♪
1541
01:40:49,400 --> 01:40:51,999
♪ Round and round and round my head ♪
1542
01:40:52,200 --> 01:40:54,399
♪ Touching the very part of me ♪
1543
01:40:54,700 --> 01:40:56,899
♪ It's making my soul sing ♪
1544
01:40:57,100 --> 01:40:59,599
♪ Tearing the very heart of me ♪
1545
01:40:59,800 --> 01:41:01,999
♪ I'm crying out for more ♪
1546
01:41:02,300 --> 01:41:04,199
♪ Your love is king ♪
1547
01:41:05,500 --> 01:41:07,299
♪ Crown you in my heart ♪
1548
01:41:07,600 --> 01:41:09,699
♪ Your love is king... ♪
1549
01:41:09,900 --> 01:41:14,699
[ Bridget ] So, as you can see,
I have found my happy ending at last.
1550
01:41:15,100 --> 01:41:19,999
And I truly believe that
happiness is possible.
1551
01:41:23,000 --> 01:41:26,999
Even when you're 33 and have a bottom
the size of two bowling balls.
1552
01:41:27,400 --> 01:41:30,799
♪ Your love is real? ♪
1553
01:41:34,700 --> 01:41:36,899
♪ [ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love ] ♪
1554
01:41:44,500 --> 01:41:46,799
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1555
01:41:47,100 --> 01:41:49,199
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1556
01:41:49,500 --> 01:41:51,599
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1557
01:41:51,900 --> 01:41:53,899
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1558
01:41:59,100 --> 01:42:01,399
♪ I look and stare so deep in your eyes ♪
1559
01:42:01,700 --> 01:42:03,799
♪ Touch on you more and more every time ♪
1560
01:42:04,100 --> 01:42:06,199
♪ When you leave, I'm ♪
♪ begging you not to go ♪
1561
01:42:06,500 --> 01:42:08,599
♪ Call your name two, ♪
♪ three times in a row ♪
1562
01:42:08,900 --> 01:42:10,999
♪ Such a funny thing for ♪
♪ me to try to explain ♪
1563
01:42:11,300 --> 01:42:13,799
♪ How I'm feeling and my ♪
♪ pride is the one to blame ♪
1564
01:42:14,100 --> 01:42:15,999
♪ 'Cause I know I don't understand ♪
1565
01:42:16,200 --> 01:42:18,699
♪ Just how your love can do ♪
♪ what no-one else can ♪
1566
01:42:18,900 --> 01:42:20,399
♪ Got me lookin'so crazy right now ♪
1567
01:42:20,700 --> 01:42:22,740
♪ Your love's got me ♪
♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪
1568
01:42:23,000 --> 01:42:25,099
♪ Your love's got me ♪
♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪
1569
01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:27,699
♪ Your touch got me ♪
♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪
1570
01:42:28,000 --> 01:42:30,281
♪ Your love's got me hopin' ♪
♪ you'll page me right now ♪
1571
01:42:30,400 --> 01:42:32,699
♪ Your kiss got me hoping ♪
♪ you'll save me right now ♪
1572
01:42:33,000 --> 01:42:34,960
♪ Lookin'so crazy ♪
♪ Your love's got me lookin' ♪
1573
01:42:35,200 --> 01:42:37,499
♪ Got me lookin'so crazy in love ♪
1574
01:42:37,900 --> 01:42:40,099
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1575
01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:42,499
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1576
01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:44,899
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪
1577
01:42:45,200 --> 01:42:47,299
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... ♪
1578
01:42:47,600 --> 01:42:49,799
♪ [ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love ] ♪
1579
01:42:55,200 --> 01:42:57,799
♪ Hearts gone astray ♪
1580
01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:01,199
♪ Deep in her when they go ♪
1581
01:43:02,900 --> 01:43:05,099
♪ I went away ♪
1582
01:43:05,400 --> 01:43:08,799
♪ Just when you needed me so ♪
1583
01:43:10,600 --> 01:43:12,799
♪ You won't regret ♪
1584
01:43:13,100 --> 01:43:16,399
♪ I'll come back begging you ♪
1585
01:43:17,100 --> 01:43:18,100
♪ Hmm ♪
1586
01:43:18,300 --> 01:43:20,099
♪ Won't you forget ♪
1587
01:43:20,400 --> 01:43:26,299
♪ Welcome love we once knew ♪
1588
01:43:28,200 --> 01:43:31,699
♪ Open up your eyes ♪
♪ Then you'll realize ♪
1589
01:43:32,100 --> 01:43:35,299
♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love ♪
1590
01:43:35,600 --> 01:43:39,099
♪ I need you by my side ♪
♪ Girl to be my pride ♪
1591
01:43:39,500 --> 01:43:47,499
♪ You'll never be denied everlasting love ♪
1592
01:43:50,600 --> 01:43:53,099
♪ Hearts gone astray ♪
1593
01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:56,499
♪ Deep in her when they go ♪
1594
01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:00,299
♪ I went away ♪
1595
01:44:00,900 --> 01:44:04,199
♪ Just when you needed me so ♪
1596
01:44:05,700 --> 01:44:08,299
♪ You won't regret ♪
1597
01:44:08,600 --> 01:44:11,999
♪ I'll come back begging you ♪
1598
01:44:13,400 --> 01:44:15,499
♪ Won't you forget ♪
1599
01:44:15,800 --> 01:44:21,599
♪ Welcome love we once knew ♪
1600
01:44:23,500 --> 01:44:26,899
♪ Open up your eyes ♪
♪ Then you'll realize ♪
1601
01:44:27,300 --> 01:44:30,899
♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love ♪
1602
01:44:31,100 --> 01:44:34,499
♪ Need you by my side ♪
♪ Girl to be my pride ♪
1603
01:44:34,900 --> 01:44:38,199
♪ You'll never be denied everlasting love ♪
1604
01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:42,099
♪ From the very start ♪
♪ Open up your heart ♪
1605
01:44:42,500 --> 01:44:50,499
♪ Feel that you fall in everlasting love ♪
1606
01:44:53,200 --> 01:44:56,899
♪ Need a love to last forever ♪
1607
01:44:57,300 --> 01:45:00,699
♪ Need a love to last forever ♪
1608
01:45:01,100 --> 01:45:04,499
♪ Need a love to last forever ♪
1609
01:45:04,800 --> 01:45:12,799
♪ Need a love to last forever? ♪