1 00:01:04,399 --> 00:01:10,499 02 Bridget Jones The Edge Of Reason - Comedy 2004 English 2 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,999 [ Bridget ] Another year, a brand new diary. 3 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:25,499 Once again I was summoned, kicking and screaming, 4 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,699 to my mother's turkey curry buffet, 5 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,899 where I've had some of the most shaming experiences of my life. 6 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:34,599 - [ Doorbell ] - Hello, darling. 7 00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,699 - Lovely to see you. - [ Magic Moments plays ] 8 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,999 It was, as usual, crammed full 9 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,099 with some of the most dangerous perverts in the UK, 10 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,299 disguised as close, personal friends of my parents. 11 00:01:46,700 --> 00:01:48,399 - Hello, Bridget. - Hello, Una. 12 00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,999 - Oh, no, thanks. - Love the jumper. 13 00:01:51,300 --> 00:01:54,699 - I prefer what's underneath it. - Uncle Geoffrey! 14 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,099 - Hello, gorgeous. - Hello. 15 00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,999 - Hello, darling. - Hello, Dad. How's it going? 16 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,899 I wish I was dead. 17 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:08,499 [ Bridget ] But this year, there was one crucial difference. 18 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,399 - Nice jumper. - My mother's taste never falters. 19 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:21,299 Never. 20 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,299 ♪ [ The Sound Of Music ] ♪ 21 00:02:27,700 --> 00:02:29,399 [ Birdsong ] 22 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,499 [ Bridget hums along with song ] 23 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,999 You always wonder how it's going to work out at the end of the story. 24 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,499 Maria and Captain Von Trapp, 25 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:03,499 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, 26 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,599 Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones. 27 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,199 I've found my happy ending at last. 28 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:14,199 And nothing in the world can spoil it. 29 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:16,899 Well, almost nothing. 30 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,199 [ Man ] Bridget Jones, what the fuck are you doing? 31 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:25,799 - I, I can't see anywhere soft to land. - How about on your arse? 32 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,599 Bridget, unless you want to get sacked at 6,000 feet, 33 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,899 you will be on your way in exactly three seconds. 34 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,799 Three, two, one... cue Bridget. 35 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,599 Skydiving. 36 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:42,499 A dangerous bane to the countryside and emergency services, 37 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,799 or a safe and exhilarating hobby? 38 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,299 Well... let's see, shall we? 39 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,899 Go. Jump. 40 00:03:52,100 --> 00:03:54,699 - For Christ's sakes, go! - [ Screams ] 41 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,099 [ Shrill scream ] 42 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,399 - She's out. Unit Two, you got her? - [ Man ] We see her. 43 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,199 - Bridget, open the chute. - [ Bridget screams ] 44 00:04:06,500 --> 00:04:08,499 - Open it. - [ Bridget screams ] 45 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,299 Open your fucking parachute! 46 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:14,099 [ Director ] Pull the thingy or you will die! 47 00:04:16,700 --> 00:04:18,899 [ Screams ] 48 00:04:19,900 --> 00:04:20,900 Oh. 49 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:25,499 [ Bridget ] Honestly, you forget just one teeny, weeny detail 50 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,999 and everyone treats you like an idiot. 51 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:33,899 ♪ [ Carly Simon ] Nobody does it better ♪ 52 00:04:35,700 --> 00:04:41,099 ♪ Makes me feel sad for the rest ♪ 53 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,899 ♪ Nobody does it ♪ 54 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,599 ♪ Half as good as you ♪ 55 00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:53,199 ♪ Baby, baby ♪ 56 00:04:54,000 --> 00:05:01,399 ♪ Darling, you're the best ♪ 57 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,799 ♪ Baby, you're the best... ♪ 58 00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:09,199 [ Bridget ] Where was I? Oh, yes... Mark Darcy. 59 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:14,099 The question is: What happens after you walk off into the sunset? 60 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:18,299 [ Director ] Bridget? Earth to Bridget Sodding Jones. 61 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:22,099 - [ Pigs snort ] - [ Bridget screams ] 62 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,899 [ Bridget groans ] 63 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,099 [ Director ] Bridget, you're on. You're live. 64 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:37,699 Well, this is Bridget Jones for Sit Up Britain, 65 00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:41,399 reporting to you from a big vat of excrement. 66 00:05:41,900 --> 00:05:43,699 - [ Pigs snort ] - [ Bridget yelps ] 67 00:05:43,900 --> 00:05:47,499 - [ Squelching ] - Give me a close-up of the porker. 68 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,299 ♪ [ Minnie Ripperton Loving You ] ♪ 69 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:58,099 [ Bridget ] Who cares about the odd professional hiccup? 70 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,699 I've been in a functional relationship 71 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,999 with an adult male for six wonderful weeks, 72 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:07,899 four fabulous days and seven precious hours. 73 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:13,499 Or to put it another way, 71 ecstatic shags. 74 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,399 He's given up being snooty, and I've given up smoking. 75 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,799 ♪ - Loving you... ♪ ♪ - Well, he thinks I have anyway, ♪ 76 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,199 Which is practically the same thing. 77 00:06:26,500 --> 00:06:28,599 A dream come true... 78 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,699 [ Bridget ] Mark Darcy is perfect. 79 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:35,399 Not a fuckwit, alcoholic, workaholic, pervert or megalomaniac, 80 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:38,499 but total sex god and human rights lawyer. 81 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,499 He is a miracle, really. 82 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,199 - Bridget, will you stop? - [ Record scratches ] 83 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,099 Stop staring at me. Go and find something to do. 84 00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:48,999 Sorry. 85 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,499 [ Song starts up again ] ? La la la la la... 86 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,499 [ Bridget ] So, as you can see, the incredible truth is 87 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:00,699 the wilderness years are over. 88 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,199 Bridget Jones is a love pariah no more. 89 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,199 [ Bell ] 90 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,499 Morning, Bridget. Late again. 91 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,999 [ Sighs ] Yes. Sorry. 92 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:17,899 I was in bed with my boyfriend. 93 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,399 He's a human rights lawyer, you know. 94 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,499 Yes, we know. 95 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:27,299 I cannot believe how fantastic shagging was last night. 96 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,099 Maybe I'll ring him. 97 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,999 No, no... 98 00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:36,199 Obviously it's important to tell one's boyfriend how nice he looks naked, 99 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:39,999 but I have crucial, Pulitzer Prize winning journalism to do. 100 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,399 [ Speed dialling, ringing ] 101 00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:47,599 [ Mark ] Hello? 102 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,099 It's me. Just wondered how you are. 103 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:54,199 I'm fine, thanks. Everything all right with you? 104 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:56,499 [ Whispering ] Fine, though, er... 105 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,099 I've just had a rather graphic shag flashback. 106 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:06,099 And you do have a genuinely gorgeous bottom. 107 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:08,299 Thank you. 108 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,199 I'm with the Mexican ambassador, the head of Amnesty International 109 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,399 and the Under-secretary for Trade and Industry. 110 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,599 And you're on speaker-phone. 111 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,099 Oh. Right, well... 112 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:25,799 I'm quite busy with important stuff too... 113 00:08:26,100 --> 00:08:30,299 Bridget, we're waiting for that tape about Tom, the happy hamster. 114 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,099 - [ Mark ] I'll call when I've finished. - Excellent. 115 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,699 And Richard wants to see you about that crap skydiving report. 116 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,199 [ Whispers ] Oh, fuck. 117 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:45,499 Oh, dear. Is this the end of my career? 118 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,399 No, it can't be. 119 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:53,399 I will fight this. I am a journalist of the highest standards and integrity. 120 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,399 [ Tape whirs ] 121 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:04,499 [ On tape ] This is Bridget Jones reporting from a big vat of excrement. 122 00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:08,299 Look, I never said I could skydive and I'm terrified of heights, 123 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:13,099 - so it was really hard to concentrate. - Be quiet. They loved it upstairs. 124 00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,199 Loved it. And they want us to come up with another regular spot for you. 125 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,399 [ Laughs ] Oh, my God. That's... 126 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:23,599 - I won't let you down, Richard. - Precisely. 127 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,699 My friends' motto was "When in Rome, do as many Romans as you can. " 128 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:32,599 But if your tastes are marginally more highbrow, I also have tips. 129 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,799 Forget the Forum, definitely forget the Coliseum, 130 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,599 no fun now they can't slaughter Christians. 131 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:43,499 Forget the Sistine Chapel, first example of a poof interior designer gone mad... 132 00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:48,199 What is Daniel Cleaver doing on the television? 133 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:51,799 It's called The Smooth Guide. "Making culture bearable". 134 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:56,799 Equally serene and equally beautiful Professor Giovana Dabrache. 135 00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,299 Who is about to show me her diptych. 136 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,699 Same old creep. [ Chuckles ] 137 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:03,799 Oh. Shame. 138 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:06,599 He always speaks very warmly of you. 139 00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,399 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 140 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,099 How about we go out for a bite to eat tonight? 141 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,399 Oh. Can't. I have to go out with my boyfriend. 142 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,699 - He's a human rights lawyer. - I know. 143 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,999 I'm meeting him for a romantic supper. 144 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,599 - [ Mobile rings ] - Oh. 145 00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,799 - Bridget Jones. - Bridget, it's Mark. 146 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,799 Oh. I was just talking about you. 147 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,799 I'm running late. Do you want me to cancel? 148 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,799 - Oh. No, that's fine. - Are you sure? 149 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,199 Be as late as you like. 150 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:40,399 Chuck him, while you're not pregnant with his unwanted child. 151 00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,399 I only said he was working late. 152 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:45,899 In one hour, he'll be coming in his secretary's mouth 153 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,799 while he rings to say what he wants for starters. 154 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:52,199 [ Bridget ] Friends spend years finding you a boyfriend, 155 00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:54,399 then instantly tell you to dump him. 156 00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:57,999 Even if he isn't shagging her already, he's thinking about it. 157 00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:02,299 A man dating a woman with large breasts will bed one with small breasts. 158 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,499 Rubbish. Mark's above all that nonsense. 159 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:08,499 Jellyfishes alert. Jellyfishes alert. 160 00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:14,599 [ Bridget ] Janey Osborne. Talking to her is like swimming in a sea 161 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,099 and being stung repeatedly by an enormous jellyfish. 162 00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:22,999 Bridget. How's it going with that divine man of yours? 163 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:26,099 You must be so pleased to have a boyfriend at last. 164 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,299 First jellyfish of the evening. 165 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,799 Is he taking you to the Law Council Dinner? 166 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,299 Oh. Well, I'm sure he's just forgotten. 167 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,899 Better start slimming into that dress. 168 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:40,299 He's given you the night off to cheer up your single friends. Sweet. 169 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:45,299 Actually, he's got a big case on, trying to get everyone in Mexico out of prison. 170 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:48,399 We're meeting for a very late romantic dinner. 171 00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:50,999 Really? That's so odd, 172 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,899 'cause I saw him an hour ago going into his house with Rebecca Gillies. 173 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,299 She's only 22. She's got legs up to here. 174 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,799 And Daddy owns half of Australia. 175 00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,199 See ta, babes. 176 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,599 Who is Rebecca Gillies? What's she doing going into my boyfriend's house? 177 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,199 Where he never asks me. And with legs up to here? 178 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,099 - My legs only come up to there. - [ Jude ] You have fine legs. 179 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,299 Climber's legs. 180 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,199 I say go over there and ask him, straight out, 181 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,299 are you or are you not sleeping with Rebecca Gillies? 182 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,399 - [ Shazzer ] If he says... - I won't dignify that with an answer... 183 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,699 Then you know he's shagging her. 184 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,099 ♪ All that I have is all ♪ ♪ that you've given... ♪ 185 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,499 [ Bridget ] It's all about confidence and trust. Mark would never betray me. 186 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,099 Everything will be lovely and we'll have sex in the kitchen. 187 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,299 - Oh, God. - [ Woman inside ] I'm coming. 188 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:53,999 Oh, God! What is that? 189 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:56,699 [ Woman ] Two seconds, I'll be straight down. 190 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,899 Who is that? 191 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,699 ♪ I find you lied ♪ 192 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:05,099 ♪ And I can't believe it's true ♪ 193 00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:11,199 ♪ Wrapped in her arms I ♪ ♪ see you across the street ♪ 194 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,899 ♪ I see you across the street ♪ 195 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:20,299 ♪ And I can't help but wonder ♪ ♪ If she knows what's going on ♪ 196 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,999 ♪ You talk of love But ♪ ♪ don't know how it feels ♪ 197 00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:32,099 ♪ When you realize ♪ 198 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,699 ♪ You're not the only one ♪ 199 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,599 [ Mark ] Let's get on with it. 200 00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:40,899 Oh, you better stop. 201 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,499 ♪ Stop - Before ♪ 202 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:46,399 ♪ You tear me all apart ♪ 203 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,599 ♪ You better stop ♪ 204 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,799 ♪ - Stop... ♪ ♪ - You are a very demanding man. ♪ 205 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,099 ♪ - ...you go and break my heart... ♪ ♪ - [ Bridget yelps ] ♪ 206 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,299 [ Chuckles ] Bridget Jones. 207 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,599 No, I'm Bridget Jones. 208 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:07,599 - [ Chuckles ] That's what I meant. - You must be... 209 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:11,099 Rebecca Gillies. I've been so looking forward to meeting you 210 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,499 - after everything Mark's told me. - Why? What's he said? 211 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,699 - Where is Mark? - Actually, er... 212 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,699 - [ Mark ] Becky, who is it? - Becky? 213 00:14:21,100 --> 00:14:23,499 - Right. - Great. 214 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,399 - Right... - Bridget. 215 00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,799 Hello, Mark. 216 00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,199 [ Laughs nervously ] Hello... 217 00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,299 lawyers who work with Mark. 218 00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,699 [ All ] Good evening. 219 00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,799 Everything under control, I see. 220 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,599 Um... Excellent graph. 221 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,899 - Lovely legs. - Thank you. 222 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,199 [ Lawyers chat ] 223 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,499 I am so sorry. 224 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,299 I thought... Oh, I don't know what I thought. 225 00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,499 Now you're really angry with me. 226 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,699 - No, I'm not. - It's OK, you can say if you are. 227 00:15:13,900 --> 00:15:17,199 - It's not the end of the world. - I'll get you a glass of wine. 228 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,099 The thing is I ran into Janey Osborne, 229 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:26,299 who said she'd just seen you with this girl, with really long legs, 230 00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,699 and Shazzer and Jude said I should get over here straight away. 231 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:34,599 Following the orders of the dating war command, you executed a raid. 232 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,699 - You are angry. - I'm not, just disappointed. 233 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:41,399 Disappointed? Oh, God, that's worse than angry. 234 00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:47,199 I'm just disappointed I can't take you home this instant. 235 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,699 Oh. [ Chuckles ] What about all those lawyers? 236 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,999 Oh, plenty of time to butter them up at the Law Council Dinner next Friday. 237 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:08,599 Don't want to go, do you? 238 00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,499 I'd love to. 239 00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:19,099 Oh, stupid Bridget, stupid friends. 240 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,899 Wonderful, loyal Mark Darcy... 241 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:26,099 who loves me just the way I am. 242 00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,699 [ Birdsong ] 243 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,899 [ Bridget pants ] 244 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,299 - [ Mark ] What are you doing? - Getting dressed. 245 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,999 Why are you dancing around in that tent? 246 00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:04,699 [ Sighs ] Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits. 247 00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,799 That's pointless, because I have a very high regard for your wobbly bits 248 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:11,099 in all circumstances. 249 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,299 - Really? - Absolutely. 250 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,299 I think it's high time we had another look. 251 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,399 ♪ Yeah ♪ 252 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,899 ♪ Are you digging on me? ♪ 253 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:24,799 ♪ Yeah ♪ 254 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,299 ♪ I'm digging on you, now, baby ♪ 255 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,799 ♪ Yeah ♪ 256 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,299 ♪ Do you want a little bit of my love? ♪ 257 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:34,600 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 258 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:38,399 [ Bridget ] He really is very, very, very nice. 259 00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,799 ♪ All the time I knew ♪ 260 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:43,699 ♪ That you loved me ♪ 261 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:46,299 ♪ And you promised me... ♪ 262 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,499 I miss you too. 263 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:53,599 ♪ That you would be my only man ♪ 264 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,199 ♪ Yeah ♪ 265 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,699 ♪ Are you digging on me? ♪ 266 00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,599 [ Bridget ] I've never been happier in my entire life. 267 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,099 However, must not obsess or fantasize. 268 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,799 Bridget Darcy. 269 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,999 Mrs. Darcy. 270 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:14,299 Mr. and Mrs. Darcy. 271 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,899 Lord and Lady Darcy. 272 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,599 Wonder what Mark Darcy would be like as a father. 273 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:25,199 To his children, I mean, not to me. 274 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,199 That would be a weird, Oedipus-like thought. 275 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:31,399 At last, life is on track. 276 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,199 Bridget Jones: Fiancée wife... 277 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,799 mother. 278 00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,999 Bugger. 279 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,699 [ Man ] Ever fancied doing it in the dark with a total stranger? 280 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,999 All right, perhaps not a total stranger. 281 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:55,599 Back off, Cleaver, or I'll report you to a sexual harassment tribunal. 282 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,399 I'm a serious journalist. 283 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,899 Is that your most serious skirt, Jones? 284 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,599 Oh... 285 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,699 Do you like it? 286 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,199 I thought you hated television. 287 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:09,599 I hate watching television. Being on it is... Hello there. 288 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,799 Entirely different. 289 00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:15,899 Daniel, thought the Madrid piece was outstanding, really original. 290 00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:19,999 Cheers, Jeremy. Appreciate that. We had to work really hard on that one. 291 00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:23,399 Tosser. Talking of which, how is Mark Darcy? 292 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:26,999 - You still...? - Yes, I am. 293 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,599 And I intend to be for a very long time. 294 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,399 Good. You know what a fan I am of any woman married to Mark Darcy. 295 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,899 - That's not funny. - Seriously, though, Jones, 296 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:39,799 speaking purely unselfishly, I worry about you. 297 00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:44,399 You do know that it's a fact that most lawyer's wives die of boredom? 298 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,699 And what about you? Still shagging anything that moves? 299 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,199 As a matter of fact, no. No shagging whatsoever. 300 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,499 I'm in shag therapy. 301 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:58,799 It turns out I have a problem. I go to meetings, talk about my feelings. 302 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,099 Hug people who smell. 303 00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:03,899 - I don't believe you. - I'm trying... 304 00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,399 to be a better man, Bridge, 305 00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:09,499 so that the next time a better woman comes along, 306 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,599 I won't make a pig's ear of it. 307 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,799 Daniel. Meeting? 308 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,499 Yeah, yeah. Thanks. 309 00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,199 Very good hair, Jones. 310 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:28,199 By the way, um, you're not free for dinner tonight, are you? 311 00:20:28,500 --> 00:20:32,099 No, I'm not. I'm going to the Law Council Dinner. 312 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,699 It's a very important evening. 313 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,599 ♪ [ Kylie Minogue Can't Get ♪ ♪ You Out Of My Head ] ♪ 314 00:20:38,900 --> 00:20:40,599 I can't wear that. 315 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:44,899 Bridge, do you want to get married and have babies before you become barren? 316 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,299 Trust me... 317 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:50,299 [ Bridget ] Magda: My only grown-up friend. Married to Mark's partner. 318 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:54,399 She actually got engaged on the night of the Law Council Dinner. 319 00:20:54,700 --> 00:20:56,599 Try it with the dress. 320 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,099 Oh, my God! 321 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,199 Remember, we are trying to reduce your body size by 15 per cent. 322 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,699 You hold the front, I'll hold the back. One, two, three... 323 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,299 [ Bridget whimpers ] 324 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,199 - [ Bridget shrieks ] - What's going on in there? 325 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,999 Not too bad, actually. 326 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,599 Tra-la! 327 00:21:18,300 --> 00:21:19,799 Fantastic. 328 00:21:20,100 --> 00:21:23,199 Right, let us begin. 329 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:27,499 I am going to make you into a princess. 330 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,900 Goody. 331 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,699 [ Bridget ] Nothing like being in the hands of a total genius. 332 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,299 [ Whooshing ] 333 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,299 Wow. 334 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,199 - [ Jude on phone ] Whatever you do... - Bugger it. 335 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:45,399 Don't iron your hair. 336 00:21:46,500 --> 00:21:48,499 [ Jude ] It's a lot worse than I thought. 337 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,699 We could flatten it with Brylcream. 338 00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:53,199 What about a wig? Lawyers love wigs. 339 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:57,699 - I preferred you in the gold. - No, whatever you do, not the gold. 340 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:02,599 Great. I'm late with mad hair and can barely breathe in scary knickers. 341 00:22:02,900 --> 00:22:06,399 ♪ La la la La la la la la... ♪ 342 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:09,199 [ Bridget ] Oh, God. I'm very worried. 343 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:14,299 What if someone says "Bridget Jones, get out of here, you are ridiculous"? 344 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,299 Stop it. 345 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:21,599 The most important thing, of course, is to look absolutely wonderful 346 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,599 and make a magnificent entrance. 347 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,999 ♪ I just can't get you out of my head... ♪ 348 00:22:28,300 --> 00:22:30,399 [ Chatter ] 349 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,499 [ Violins ] 350 00:22:37,100 --> 00:22:39,999 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 351 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:44,499 - Hello. - I think you should go to the ladies. 352 00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:47,399 But I went before I left home. 353 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,999 Trust me on this one. 354 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:52,399 [ Gasps ] Oh. 355 00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:54,599 Not good. 356 00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,599 [ Thinks ] All right, tiny make-up mistake, 357 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:03,699 but I always have wit and conversation to fall back on. 358 00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,899 Thank you. 359 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,899 - Bridget. - Hello. 360 00:23:20,100 --> 00:23:22,299 Derek, Horatio, Camilla. 361 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,599 - Horatio? - Yes, Horatio. 362 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:29,499 Horatio was just saying he's totally against charitable giving. 363 00:23:29,900 --> 00:23:31,799 [ Laughs ] 364 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:35,399 - What? - Well, obviously you don't mean it. 365 00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,099 Absolutely. Do you think it's helpful to give a beggar fifty pence? 366 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,299 - Maybe he's just hungry. - Don't be so naive. 367 00:23:43,700 --> 00:23:47,399 The people you see outside the tube every day are there by choice. 368 00:23:47,700 --> 00:23:50,499 - End of story. - Oh, no, it's not. 369 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,399 Some people have terrible personal problems, 370 00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:58,399 and other people might have lost their family in some tragic ferry disaster. 371 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:02,299 And some people are just plain hopeless. 372 00:24:02,700 --> 00:24:07,299 Honestly, this is the sort of rubbish you'd expect from fat, balding 373 00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:13,499 Tory, Home Counties, upper-middle-class twits. 374 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:14,900 [ Music stops ] 375 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,999 - [ Chatter resumes ] - [ Laughs uneasily ] 376 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,499 [ Violins, chatter ] 377 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,099 [ Man ] Yeah, very good. Tested my resolve. 378 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,499 How did I do? 379 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,499 You seem to have made quite an impression. 380 00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:40,499 I've put you next to Giles Benwick. 381 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:44,099 - Oh, I'm not sitting next to you? - No. He's terribly nice, 382 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,899 but his wife's just run off with one of the partners. 383 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,899 He probably won't mention it, but you should know. 384 00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,999 I always knew she was out of my league. 385 00:24:54,300 --> 00:25:00,099 You see, there's the high-fliers, like Annabel and Mark Darcy 386 00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:05,099 and there's the gorgeous girls, like Rebecca there 387 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,799 and there's the rest of us. 388 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:12,699 Like you and me, you mean? 389 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:14,899 Absolutely. 390 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,199 I mean, look at the state of us. 391 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:23,699 You and me stumbled into the VIP room by mistake 392 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:27,499 and it's only a matter of moments before they show us the door. 393 00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:33,099 [ Pounding ] 394 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:38,799 My lords, ladies and gentlemen, let the quiz begin. 395 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:43,099 [ Laughs ] Oh, goody. I love quizzes. 396 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,499 All those years of playing Trivial Pursuits are about to pay off. 397 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:53,099 Now I want to see your hands poised over those bells. Ready? 398 00:25:53,500 --> 00:25:56,999 Here we go. What are something called "customary freeholds"? 399 00:25:57,400 --> 00:26:00,499 - [ Bell ] - [ Man ] Superior copy hold. 400 00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:01,899 [ Speaker ] Yes. 401 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:04,799 What is the correct grace used in the Inner Temple 402 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,399 for the second mooting night of Michaelmas term? 403 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,699 - [ Bell ] - [ Man ] Amas bibendo... fructis. 404 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,099 Jolly good. What is an overreaching conveyance? 405 00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:19,599 What is rack-rent? When was breach of promise abolished? 406 00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:21,799 Define "damnum sentit dominus". 407 00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:26,999 Translate "reddendo singula singulis" into Ancient Greek. 408 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,499 I believe this is the answer. 409 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,099 [ Bell ] 410 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,999 Hippodamoi credemnon louestai. 411 00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:38,299 - [ Speaker ] Absolutely correct. - [ Applause ] 412 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,999 [ Speaker ] Now, for our final and deciding round, 413 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,799 the category is contemporary culture. 414 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:51,499 [ Murmuring ] 415 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,999 Who did the design for Princess Diana's wedding dress? 416 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,599 - [ Bell ] - The Emmanuels. 417 00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:01,199 - Correct. - Excellent, Bridget. 418 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,399 Name the character in Footballers' Wives 419 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:10,199 who, in one memorable episode, set fire to her own breasts. 420 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,899 - [ Bell ] - Chardonnay. 421 00:27:12,100 --> 00:27:13,999 - [ Speaker ] Correct. - [ Applause ] 422 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,299 At this point, there are only two tables in contention 423 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,999 and only one question left. 424 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,499 What was the name of Madonna's first UK single? 425 00:27:27,900 --> 00:27:30,199 - [ Bell ] - [ Bridget quietly ] Lucky Star. 426 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,499 - [ Speaker ] Sorry, I didn't quite hear. - Are you sure? 427 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,699 - Wasn't it Holiday? - No, everyone thinks it is, 428 00:27:37,100 --> 00:27:38,199 but it's not. 429 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,299 My entire life has been leading up to this very moment. 430 00:27:41,700 --> 00:27:45,599 Take that knife, slice off my head and boil it if I'm wrong. 431 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,499 The correct answer is Lucky Star. 432 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,999 - No. - [ Groans of disappointment ] 433 00:27:54,300 --> 00:27:56,999 - The correct answer is... - Is it Holiday? 434 00:27:57,300 --> 00:28:00,099 - [ Speaker ] Holiday, indeed, yes. - [ Applause ] 435 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:07,099 [ Speaker ] The winners of the 42nd Annual Law Council Quiz are... 436 00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,499 the Legal Eagles. 437 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,699 [ Cheering ] 438 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,299 - Lovely to see you, Bridget. - Oh, thanks, Rebecca. 439 00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,599 Good night. 440 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,199 [ Horn ] 441 00:28:38,500 --> 00:28:40,999 [ Bridget ] Why didn't you speak to me all night? 442 00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:43,499 [ Mark ] That's the point of those dinners. 443 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,299 But you talked to Rebecca. And you talked to Horatio. 444 00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:51,799 I'll never fit in with your friends. 445 00:28:51,900 --> 00:28:55,999 Not if you go on calling everyone "balding, upper-middle-class twits". 446 00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:59,399 Well, they were balding, upper-middle-class twits. 447 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,799 Except for the ones who had hair. 448 00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:06,199 I suppose you agree with them that poor people deserve to be poor? 449 00:29:06,500 --> 00:29:08,399 Don't be ridiculous. 450 00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:12,199 - So now I'm ridiculous? - Yes, tonight you were a little. 451 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,899 Well, tonight you were an arrogant arse. 452 00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:20,399 I think I may have made a mistake inviting you 453 00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,099 and your folding underpants into my life. 454 00:29:26,100 --> 00:29:27,999 Good night. 455 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,299 If you had asked me tonight, 456 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,399 I'd have said no, anyway. 457 00:29:40,100 --> 00:29:41,699 Asked you what? 458 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,499 - Bridget? - [ Sirens nearby ] 459 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:46,699 Asked you what? 460 00:29:58,100 --> 00:30:00,399 [ Bridget ] Oh, God, I've done it. 461 00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:02,699 I've gone and done it. 462 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,899 One minute, you're closer to someone than anyone in the whole world, 463 00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,099 next minute, you're never going to see them again. 464 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,099 [ Beeps ] 465 00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:26,999 [ Rings ] 466 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,799 [ Mark ] If you have a message for Mark Darcy, please speak after the tone. 467 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,200 [ Beep ] 468 00:30:34,500 --> 00:30:38,499 Hello, it's me. I'm really, really sorry... 469 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,299 [ buzzer ] 470 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:42,599 Sorry, it's the door. 471 00:30:42,900 --> 00:30:46,399 Don't go away, I have something really, really important to say. 472 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,599 [ Buzzer ] 473 00:30:57,500 --> 00:30:59,999 - Yes, who is it? - [ Mark ] It's me. 474 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,899 - Mark. - Oh, right. 475 00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:05,199 Er, just a moment. 476 00:31:06,500 --> 00:31:08,199 I'm on the phone. 477 00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:10,199 [ Alarm ] 478 00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:13,799 [ Laughs ] You're outside. 479 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,899 Look, er... 480 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,699 I'll ring you later. 481 00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:24,599 Unless you've come to chuck me once and for all. 482 00:31:25,100 --> 00:31:26,999 In which case, 483 00:31:27,300 --> 00:31:31,299 bye and thank you, and... sorry. 484 00:31:31,700 --> 00:31:33,099 [ Buzzer ] 485 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,399 Oh, God, please don't chuck me. 486 00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:38,199 If you have chucked me, please change your mind, 487 00:31:38,500 --> 00:31:40,499 I'll behave much better in future. 488 00:31:40,700 --> 00:31:43,099 - [ Buzzer ] - On the other hand, if you haven't, 489 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,799 please behave better next time we go out. Stuck-up snob. 490 00:31:47,700 --> 00:31:48,700 [ Beep ] 491 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:55,799 What do you want? 492 00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:58,899 I'd like to come up. You are, after all, my girlfriend. 493 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,299 Even though I shouted at you and called you an arrogant arse? 494 00:32:02,700 --> 00:32:05,899 Unfortunately, yes. You see, the problematic thing is... 495 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,099 I love you. 496 00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:12,499 W-what? 497 00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:26,299 - I said I love you. - I'm sorry, I missed that again. 498 00:32:26,700 --> 00:32:28,599 I said I love you, for God's sake! 499 00:32:28,900 --> 00:32:30,699 [ All Jeer ] 500 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,599 All right, no need to shout. 501 00:32:36,900 --> 00:32:38,899 I'll come down and let you in. 502 00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:47,099 [ All Cheer ] 503 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,799 You might be needing this in the future. 504 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:03,199 He said he loves me. 505 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:07,299 - [ Tom ] He said he loves you? - He said he loves me. 506 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,299 - Right, where is he now? - [ Whispers ] He's in the bedroom. 507 00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:14,699 Go back in there, Bridge, 508 00:33:14,900 --> 00:33:18,899 and whatever you do, act completely nonchalant. 509 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,499 Bridget, you're staring at me again. 510 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,899 Sorry. 511 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,799 Listen, I know this evening didn't go exactly as planned, 512 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,599 but there was a very important question I wanted to ask you tonight. 513 00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:44,099 - Oh, really? - Yes. 514 00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,899 [ Takes deep breath ] 515 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,399 I've actually been meaning to ask this for quite some time. 516 00:33:50,700 --> 00:33:54,399 I've just never really found the right way to put it. 517 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,099 Darling Bridget... 518 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,499 would you... 519 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:09,199 like to go on a skiing mini-break? 520 00:34:13,900 --> 00:34:15,299 Yes! 521 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,699 ♪ What the world... ♪ 522 00:34:21,100 --> 00:34:23,399 [ Bridget ] This is not just a mini-break. 523 00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:27,799 This is a holiday in heaven. 524 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:34,099 Told a tiny lie about being an extremely experienced skier. 525 00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,899 But, honestly, how hard can it be? 526 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,099 - Ah. - Shall we? 527 00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:50,499 [ Bridget ] I know I'm going to like skiing a lot. 528 00:34:50,700 --> 00:34:53,399 Very romantic, very relaxing. 529 00:34:54,900 --> 00:34:57,699 - Bar going up. - No. What? Why? 530 00:35:00,700 --> 00:35:02,599 [ Bridget whimpers ] 531 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,799 Um... 532 00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:06,899 Er... 533 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,099 Oh. Oh, God. 534 00:35:09,300 --> 00:35:10,899 [ Whimpers ] 535 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:13,899 Oh, God. Oh. 536 00:35:15,300 --> 00:35:16,999 [ Groans ] 537 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,699 Ah. 538 00:35:29,700 --> 00:35:31,399 [ Screams ] 539 00:35:36,500 --> 00:35:38,199 Bridget. 540 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,699 Rebecca. What are you doing here? 541 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,299 - Didn't Mark tell you we were coming? - No, he didn't. 542 00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,599 It was me who recommended the place. 543 00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:50,499 - I've been coming since I was 11. - Really? 544 00:35:50,900 --> 00:35:52,399 [ Thinks ] Three whole years. 545 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,699 Come on, up you get. 546 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:56,599 Come on. 547 00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,899 - There you go. - Are you all right? 548 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:02,899 Yes, fine, thanks. 549 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,399 - You sure? - Why is Rebecca here? 550 00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:08,799 Oh, God. Well, I mentioned that we were coming 551 00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:12,999 and she said why didn't they come too, and I couldn't say no, could I? 552 00:36:13,300 --> 00:36:15,699 Come on, you two, let's crack on, shall we? 553 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,799 Actually, I might just sit this one out. You head on. 554 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,499 - See you down there. - You sure? 555 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,899 Absolutely. I'll be fine in a minute. 556 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,599 Right, I'll see you at base camp, then. 557 00:36:30,100 --> 00:36:34,199 [ Thinks ] Bastard. I can't believe he's left me. 558 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,299 Ooh. 559 00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:48,899 Oooh. 560 00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:03,899 [ Thinks ] So, romantic getaway has turned into lawyer's reunion. 561 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,699 Oooh. 562 00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,799 I can't believe we're already into group holidays 563 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:12,299 after only eight weeks of total, undisturbed sex. 564 00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:14,999 Wait a minute... 565 00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:17,599 No. Eight weeks? 566 00:37:17,900 --> 00:37:20,199 It couldn't be, could it? 567 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,499 Totally undisturbed... 568 00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:25,899 Oh, God. I'm pregnant. 569 00:37:26,700 --> 00:37:28,599 [ Whines ] 570 00:37:28,900 --> 00:37:30,499 [ Screams ] 571 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,799 And going to die! 572 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:35,799 [ Cheering ] 573 00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,799 [ Screams ] 574 00:37:47,100 --> 00:37:50,099 [ Screams ] Oh, my God! 575 00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:52,399 I can't see! 576 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:54,699 [ Screams ] Big bump! 577 00:37:54,900 --> 00:37:56,899 Get out of the way! 578 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,099 [ Screams ] 579 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,199 Who's this? An eccentric but exhilarating performance 580 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:04,499 from a total unknown, 581 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,999 who's now solidly in position for the bronze. 582 00:38:16,500 --> 00:38:18,399 - [ Screams ] - [ Bell clangs ] 583 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,299 [ Whines ] 584 00:38:32,500 --> 00:38:35,699 I would like a pregnancy test, please. 585 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,599 A pregnancy test. 586 00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:42,599 Ich bien, er, possibly... 587 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:44,499 mit baby. 588 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,599 Er... 589 00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,899 Kinder! I am on back... 590 00:38:52,300 --> 00:38:54,399 and he, er... 591 00:38:54,700 --> 00:38:58,399 maken ze lieben. Er, with me. 592 00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,699 [ German ] She's pregnant! 593 00:39:03,900 --> 00:39:05,999 Oh, no! No, no, not pregnant. 594 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,799 [ German ] She's bloated. 595 00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:10,899 - Condom? - Nein. Nein, nein. 596 00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,999 Maybe like this, but maybe like this. 597 00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:17,799 [ German ] I think her problem is psychological. 598 00:39:18,100 --> 00:39:20,599 [ German ] There is nothing a pill can do to help her. 599 00:39:20,900 --> 00:39:23,499 I'm a girl and I met a boy. 600 00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,999 Fraulein, and I met frau... boy. 601 00:39:27,700 --> 00:39:31,999 And possibly now mit baby, uh-huh? 602 00:39:37,700 --> 00:39:39,999 Right, moment of truth awaits. 603 00:39:41,300 --> 00:39:43,199 What if I am pregnant? 604 00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:46,399 I must try not to get hopes up too high. 605 00:39:46,700 --> 00:39:49,599 Boyfriend and baby seems just too lucky. 606 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,099 Bridget? I have been looking everywhere for you. 607 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,299 I thought you'd broken a leg or something... Oh, God. 608 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,399 - You're not...? - I might be. 609 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,099 - What if I were? - Well, I suppose I'd... 610 00:40:12,300 --> 00:40:16,899 To be quite frank, it'd be bloody fantastic. 611 00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:19,999 I mean, if a little ahead of schedule. 612 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,999 - Are you really pregnant? - Well, give it three minutes. 613 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:39,299 - What do you fancy? Boy or a girl? - I dunno, it doesn't matter. 614 00:40:40,700 --> 00:40:43,799 Although, I suppose I've always had the fantasy of a son. 615 00:40:45,700 --> 00:40:48,899 - Another Mark Darcy. - Or maybe something like Huck. 616 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,899 Or River. Or some fabulous Hebrew name like Noah. 617 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,499 Anyway, I could teach him to play cricket and rugby 618 00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:58,999 and visit him at Eton on St Andrew's Day. 619 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:00,200 Eton? 620 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:04,399 Yes. The Darcy men have been going to Eton for five generations. 621 00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:08,399 Well, my son's not going to be sent away from home. 622 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:12,699 Especially to some fascist institution where they stick a poker up your arse 623 00:41:13,100 --> 00:41:15,499 that you're never allowed to remove again. 624 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,399 I see. 625 00:41:19,500 --> 00:41:21,499 - I didn't mean you. - No, of course not. 626 00:41:21,700 --> 00:41:24,699 So what's the alternative? Sleeping in his parents' bed, 627 00:41:25,100 --> 00:41:26,999 breastfeeding until he's a teenager 628 00:41:27,300 --> 00:41:31,699 and some progressive school, where the day is spent singing Yellow Submarine? 629 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,599 Oh, you're absolutely right. 630 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,899 It's madness to allow a child to enjoy his education or live with his parents. 631 00:41:38,300 --> 00:41:42,099 What is madness is to have a child if his parents can't have a discussion 632 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,299 without one shouting at the other. 633 00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,699 It's negative. 634 00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:48,199 - That's too bad. - Yes, very sad. 635 00:42:23,500 --> 00:42:26,899 Perhaps we should go out for lunch tomorrow. Get out of the grump. 636 00:42:30,100 --> 00:42:33,499 That's a good idea in theory, but you made a family arrangement. 637 00:42:34,500 --> 00:42:36,599 Oh, God. 638 00:42:36,900 --> 00:42:38,399 [ Doorbell ] 639 00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:39,799 Darlings! 640 00:42:40,100 --> 00:42:42,899 I've had the fabulous idea of inviting your parents. 641 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,099 [ Bridget ] Another one of Mother's culinary triumphs. 642 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,899 - Everything in miniature. - Mini treacle tart, Admiral Darcy? 643 00:42:50,300 --> 00:42:54,199 No, no, thank you. The mini spotted dick rather finished me off. 644 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:55,899 [ Polite laughter ] 645 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,499 So, Mark, Bridget, when are you two love-birds going to name the day? 646 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,599 Bridget, you must want to hear those ding-dong bells. 647 00:43:12,500 --> 00:43:16,399 Well, we're certainly not thinking about that yet. Are we, Bridget? 648 00:43:17,300 --> 00:43:19,199 No. God, no. 649 00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,299 Of course not. 650 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,899 [ Mr. Jones ] Good. Well, that's that sorted. 651 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:26,699 So, Admiral, out on the high seas. How was it? 652 00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:45,199 - Did you mean that thing you said? - What thing? 653 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:48,999 - You know what thing. - No, I don't know what thing. 654 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,899 The thing thing. 655 00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:55,699 Now, let's see, there are any number of things, um... 656 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,299 in an afternoon full of all sorts of things, 657 00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:00,399 so I, um... 658 00:44:00,700 --> 00:44:04,999 The thing where you said you're not, um... 659 00:44:08,100 --> 00:44:13,099 That you're not, not even thinking about, um... 660 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,199 What's the matter? 661 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,999 Let's get a drink. 662 00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:46,299 I'm going to go to the loo, then I'm going to come back. 663 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,899 And then we're going to be civilized. 664 00:44:53,700 --> 00:44:54,999 [ Telephone ] 665 00:44:57,500 --> 00:45:00,599 If you have a message for Mark Darcy, speak after the tone. 666 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:02,000 [ Beep ] 667 00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:04,199 Mark, it's Rebecca. Are you there? 668 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,999 Obviously not. Probably still out with Bridget. 669 00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:13,399 Um... Anyway, I hope lunch with the parents went well. 670 00:45:13,700 --> 00:45:16,799 I'm sure you were dutiful and very polite, as usual. 671 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,899 Er... Whatever. Anyway, look, maybe give me a ring when you get back. 672 00:45:22,300 --> 00:45:24,899 I thought I might pop round for a nightcap. 673 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,299 But I suppose that's a silly idea. Bridget's probably there. 674 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,099 - Sleep tight. - [ Beep ] 675 00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,599 Oh, Christ, what now? 676 00:45:38,900 --> 00:45:42,599 Are you or are you not having an affair with Rebecca Gillies? 677 00:45:43,500 --> 00:45:46,299 I won't dignify that question with an answer. 678 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,299 Right. 679 00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:51,099 All I did was go to the loo. 680 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,199 Bridget! 681 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:58,299 Bridget. 682 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,899 That's not your coat. 683 00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:05,799 Oh, right. 684 00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,499 Oh, Bridget, what are you doing? 685 00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:20,999 I read you should never date someone if you can think of three reasons not to. 686 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:22,899 - Can you think of three? - Yes. 687 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,899 - Which are? - Well, first off, I embarrass you. 688 00:46:27,300 --> 00:46:30,399 I can't ski, I can't ride, I can't speak Latin. 689 00:46:30,700 --> 00:46:34,299 My legs only come up to here and yes, I will always be a little bit fat. 690 00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:38,099 And you, you fold your underpants before you go to bed. 691 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:41,699 - Now, hang on, that can't be a reason. - No, it's not a reason. 692 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:43,999 But you're not perfect either. 693 00:46:44,300 --> 00:46:46,899 You look down your nose at absolutely everyone, 694 00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:51,699 and you're incapable of doing anything spontaneous or potentially affectionate. 695 00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:55,299 It feels like you're waiting to find someone in the VIP room 696 00:46:55,700 --> 00:46:58,099 who's, who's so fantastic... 697 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:00,899 just the way she is, 698 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:03,699 that you don't need to fix her. 699 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,499 Bridget, this is mad. 700 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,099 Perhaps you've already found her. 701 00:47:11,900 --> 00:47:13,999 Do you want to marry me? 702 00:47:16,300 --> 00:47:18,299 Look, I... 703 00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:23,499 You see, you can never muster the strength... 704 00:47:24,900 --> 00:47:27,099 to fight for me. 705 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,899 [ Bridget ] I can't believe I did that. 706 00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:30,199 ♪ What do I gotta do to make you love me? ♪ 707 00:48:33,100 --> 00:48:37,299 ♪ What do I gotta do to make you care? ♪ 708 00:48:37,700 --> 00:48:39,399 [ Dog barks ] 709 00:48:40,500 --> 00:48:45,299 ♪ What do I gotta do when ♪ ♪ lightning strikes me ♪ 710 00:48:45,700 --> 00:48:47,099 ♪ Hmm ♪ 711 00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:51,999 ♪ And I wake to find ♪ ♪ that you're not there? ♪ 712 00:48:55,600 --> 00:49:00,099 ♪ What do I gotta do to make you want me? ♪ 713 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:01,999 ♪ Hmm ♪ 714 00:49:03,100 --> 00:49:07,299 ♪ What do I gotta do to be heard? ♪ 715 00:49:07,700 --> 00:49:09,599 [ Siren ] 716 00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:15,699 ♪ And what do I say when ♪ ♪ it's all over, babe? ♪ 717 00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:17,499 ♪ Oooh-ooh ♪ 718 00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:21,999 ♪ And sorry seems to be the hardest word ♪ 719 00:49:25,300 --> 00:49:28,799 ♪ It's sad So sad ♪ 720 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,499 ♪ Why can't we talk it over, babe? ♪ 721 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,199 ♪ Always seems to me ♪ 722 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:40,099 ♪ When sorry seems to be ♪ 723 00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:45,399 ♪ The hardest word? ♪ 724 00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,299 [ Bridget ] Five weeks later. 725 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:54,299 Weight: 4,000 pounds. 726 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:58,599 Am enjoying a relationship with two men simultaneously. 727 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,199 The first is called Ben, the other, Jerry. 728 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,599 Number of current boyfriends: Zero. 729 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,199 Number of calls from ex-boyfriend. 730 00:50:08,500 --> 00:50:11,699 [ Electronic voice ] You have absolutely no messages. 731 00:50:11,900 --> 00:50:15,399 Not a single one. Not even from your mother. 732 00:50:16,300 --> 00:50:18,299 [ Telephone ] 733 00:50:21,500 --> 00:50:23,799 - Hello? - Hello, darling. 734 00:50:24,100 --> 00:50:27,799 - You haven't forgotten our lunch date? - [ Bridget ] Of course I have. 735 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:31,099 - I'm suicidally depressed. - Don't be silly, Bridget. 736 00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,699 Meet me at Debenhams at twelve o'clock. 737 00:50:35,100 --> 00:50:37,999 Mum... I thought we were going to have something to eat. 738 00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,899 [ Mum ] Patience, please. I've got a big surprise for you, darling. 739 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,699 - What? - Don't say "what", say "pardon". 740 00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,499 [ Shrill ] Tra-la! 741 00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:52,599 - What do you think? - Oh, my God. 742 00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:54,899 Daddy and I are getting married. 743 00:50:55,100 --> 00:50:57,799 - You're already married. - We're doing it again. 744 00:50:58,100 --> 00:51:01,299 Reaffirming our vows. You are going to be a bridesmaid, 745 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:04,399 and absolutely everything is going to be lavender. 746 00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:07,099 And when I say everything, I mean... 747 00:51:07,700 --> 00:51:09,199 everything. 748 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,299 [ Laughs ] 749 00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,699 Oh, God, I'm never going to get married 750 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,399 and my sodding mum and dad are doing it twice. 751 00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:20,499 ♪ No more candlelight No more romance ♪ 752 00:51:20,900 --> 00:51:24,199 ♪ - No more small talk... ♪ ♪ - [ Bridget ] Bloody know-it-all. ♪ 753 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:29,999 New York: The Big, Juicy Apple. 754 00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,999 The city that never sleeps with the same person two nights running. 755 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:38,499 My favorite place in America, where Sex And The City isn't just a programme, 756 00:51:38,900 --> 00:51:40,699 it's a promise. 757 00:51:42,500 --> 00:51:43,799 [ Bell ] 758 00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:46,699 - [ Phone rings ] - [ Man ] Morning, Rach. 759 00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,699 Sorry. 760 00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:52,599 Oh, cheer up, misery guts. I have good news for you. 761 00:51:52,900 --> 00:51:54,799 [ Chuckles ] Sure, right. 762 00:51:55,100 --> 00:51:58,099 What's the angle? I interview some rocket scientist 763 00:51:58,300 --> 00:52:01,199 while he looks through my skirt with X-ray glasses? 764 00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:02,899 No. 765 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:05,499 Although that is a bloody good idea. 766 00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:10,099 No. The fact is The Smooth Guide is doing very well with women, 767 00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,699 but the network want us to cast a wider net and use a Smooth Guide-ess. 768 00:52:15,100 --> 00:52:18,199 Me? With Daniel Cleaver? 769 00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:22,199 It's the next logical step. I think Thailand is first on the list. 770 00:52:22,500 --> 00:52:25,099 No. I won't do it. 771 00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:27,999 Not now. Not in a million years from now. 772 00:52:28,300 --> 00:52:30,899 - Excuse me? - I am a top television journalist, 773 00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:33,399 not some boorish bint in a bikini. 774 00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,999 Really? Strong words from somebody who doesn't know where Germany is. 775 00:52:38,300 --> 00:52:40,499 - [ Sniggering ] - Who told you that? 776 00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:44,199 Cleaver. He said he couldn't be expected to go out with someone 777 00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:49,399 who thought Iran was David Bowie's wife, and who didn't know where Germany was. 778 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:56,699 Daniel Cleaver is a deceitful, sexist, disgusting specimen of humanity, 779 00:52:57,100 --> 00:52:59,699 that I wouldn't share a lift with, let alone a job. 780 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,499 Come on, Jones, there must have been something you liked about me. 781 00:53:03,900 --> 00:53:06,899 Well... you have a nice car. 782 00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:11,199 And quite nice manners. Outside the bedroom. 783 00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,299 But that's about it. 784 00:53:13,900 --> 00:53:16,399 And by the way, I know exactly where Germany is. 785 00:53:16,700 --> 00:53:19,999 The question is do you know the location of your arsehole? 786 00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:28,999 As a matter of fact, I do know the exact location of my arsehole. And hers. 787 00:53:30,700 --> 00:53:33,299 Oh, come on, Jones, it was just a silly joke. 788 00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:34,999 Not a very funny one. 789 00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:36,599 - Go on, then. - What? 790 00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,699 Where is it? Where is Germany? 791 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,599 - Next to France. - And? 792 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,199 And also Belgium... 793 00:53:44,500 --> 00:53:46,999 Poland. And it has a sea coast. 794 00:53:47,900 --> 00:53:50,199 Which sea? 795 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,299 Oh, sod it. Now, look, 796 00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:02,199 I think we should talk about Finch's suggestion. 797 00:54:02,500 --> 00:54:04,399 I am going to Thailand, Jones. 798 00:54:04,700 --> 00:54:07,199 Wouldn't you like to be my little Girl Guide? 799 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,600 Thailand? 800 00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:12,299 - You'll shag before you leave Heathrow. - I'll be perfectly fine. 801 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:14,599 I'm eschewing all men. 802 00:54:15,300 --> 00:54:17,999 And cigarettes. And carbohydrates. 803 00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,099 - We can't possibly let you go. - On your own. 804 00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,299 Oh, stop it, all of you. 805 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:26,299 I am a mature, sophisticated, professional woman 806 00:54:26,500 --> 00:54:31,099 and I'm going to Thailand entirely on my own, thank you very much. 807 00:54:31,500 --> 00:54:32,799 - [ Shazzer ] Fuck! - Sorry. 808 00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:35,099 - Fuckity fuck. - Sorry. 809 00:54:35,300 --> 00:54:39,699 [ Pilot ] And now our final passengers have joined us, we can get under way. 810 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,999 Someone's gotta be last. 811 00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:46,399 - [ Crunching ] - [ Bridget ] Are we not sitting together? 812 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:48,599 Oh, fuck. 813 00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:54,199 I don't think we're really in a position to, um... 814 00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,599 make a fuss. Sorry. Hi. 815 00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:00,499 - Sorry. - [ Man chuckles ] 816 00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:03,399 [ Woman ] What's our film? 817 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,599 What's your name? Mine's Olive. 818 00:55:06,900 --> 00:55:08,799 - Er, Bridget. - [ Olive chuckles ] 819 00:55:09,100 --> 00:55:11,899 [ Pilot ] Good afternoon again, ladies and gentlemen. 820 00:55:12,300 --> 00:55:15,099 We're about to offer a wide range of duty-free items. 821 00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:17,999 Details can be found in your in-flight magazine. 822 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,899 [ Baby cries ] 823 00:55:25,900 --> 00:55:29,899 Wonderful people, the Thais. Particularly the young ladies. 824 00:55:30,300 --> 00:55:32,199 If you know what I mean, eh? 825 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,999 - Oh, for heaven's sake. - Come with me. 826 00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:37,399 Come with me now. 827 00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:40,099 - Where are we going? - Just through here. 828 00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:42,399 Thank you. This is worse than school. 829 00:55:42,700 --> 00:55:44,699 It really wasn't my fault. 830 00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:47,199 It's a fizzy drink, you know, it just... 831 00:55:47,500 --> 00:55:49,599 It just sort of fizzied over. 832 00:55:51,200 --> 00:55:54,399 Couldn't bear to think of you back there in slum class, Jones. 833 00:55:54,700 --> 00:55:58,599 Graham, thank you. You are the best air steward I've ever come across. 834 00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:00,999 And if I may say so, the smartest. 835 00:56:01,300 --> 00:56:02,699 Thank you, sir. 836 00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,299 I thought you were there already, doing research. 837 00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,399 Fuck, no. I make it up as I go along. 838 00:56:10,700 --> 00:56:14,299 It's 13 hours for this trip. I need some in-flight entertainment. 839 00:56:14,500 --> 00:56:17,999 Why don't you tell me, in detail, about your school netball tour, 840 00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,799 particularly the unsavoury incident in the communal showers. 841 00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:24,999 I didn't play netball. Or go to a girls' school. 842 00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,799 - Or have showers. - Now that's just not true, is it? 843 00:56:29,100 --> 00:56:30,999 - Let me start you off. - No. 844 00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:34,799 If you're gonna be dull, I'm going to plunge back into Mrs. Dalloway, 845 00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:38,299 and you know how she loves that. Dirty, dirty bitch. 846 00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:02,299 ♪ - [ Elephant trumpets ] ♪ ♪ - Here's a new thing ♪ 847 00:57:02,500 --> 00:57:04,099 ♪ That's gonna please ta ♪ 848 00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:06,799 ♪ Just a little town down in Indonesia ♪ 849 00:57:07,100 --> 00:57:08,100 ♪ Bangkok... ♪ 850 00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:10,999 [ Bridget ] Arrived Bangkok. Very hot. 851 00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:15,199 Relieved at last to throw myself into serious journalistic work. 852 00:57:17,400 --> 00:57:21,399 Thailand has long called travellers from around the globe 853 00:57:21,700 --> 00:57:25,199 to take spiritual succour and karmic rest. 854 00:57:25,500 --> 00:57:30,399 For centuries, Western visitors have been inevitably drawn 855 00:57:30,900 --> 00:57:34,099 to some of Bangkok's oldest sanctuaries. 856 00:57:34,400 --> 00:57:37,799 So true, Bridget. Even I, fight it as I may, am no exception. 857 00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:42,099 The moment I arrive here, I almost feel an irresistible pull... 858 00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:45,999 to this. The Temple of Tranquillity. 859 00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:51,699 Indeed, nothing symbolizes Thailand's extraordinary fusion of East and West, 860 00:57:52,100 --> 00:57:55,399 of tradition and innovation, better than this. 861 00:57:55,700 --> 00:57:57,899 Fully body-to-body massage. 862 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,499 - Sawatdee kha? - Sawatdee khrab? 863 00:58:00,700 --> 00:58:04,999 An incredible thing about Thailand is the amazing traditional cuisine. 864 00:58:05,300 --> 00:58:09,199 I'm going to taste kapaluk, the ultimate delicacy. 865 00:58:11,200 --> 00:58:13,399 Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! 866 00:58:13,700 --> 00:58:15,599 Oh, my God. My God. 867 00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,299 Um... Er... Mmm. 868 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:20,999 How about a lovely locust? 869 00:58:21,300 --> 00:58:23,299 I can't. No, no, I can't. 870 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:25,499 - They're delicious. - [ Crunching ] 871 00:58:28,000 --> 00:58:29,299 Oh! 872 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:37,299 [ Daniel ] Now that is Ko Panyi, which is the setting for a very famous Thai poem, 873 00:58:37,700 --> 00:58:39,899 which I think you'd like very much, Jones. 874 00:58:40,200 --> 00:58:44,199 It's all about a badly-behaved prince who finds true love with a beautiful, 875 00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,699 and as it happens, very slightly overweight princess. 876 00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,999 - You're teasing me. - I never tease about poetry. 877 00:58:52,900 --> 00:58:56,599 "Oh, Suvarnamali Why can you not see that I adore you?" 878 00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,299 "Why do you avoid and scorn me?" 879 00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:01,399 "If you cast me off and leave me. 880 00:59:01,700 --> 00:59:03,799 How should I live another day?" 881 00:59:06,900 --> 00:59:10,999 And you thought all I knew of Thailand was pussies and ping-pong balls. 882 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,299 - You wouldn't sleep with him? - No, of course not. 883 00:59:14,600 --> 00:59:16,799 Absolutely not. 884 00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:19,099 But he is clever. 885 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,799 - Yes? - And handsome. 886 00:59:21,100 --> 00:59:24,499 He's also a dysfunctional, fucked-up, middle-aged, lost boy. 887 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:26,699 Well, no-one's perfect. 888 00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:28,499 [ Birdsong ] 889 00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,999 I didn't realize you were busy. 890 00:59:38,100 --> 00:59:41,599 - He's young enough to be your grandson. - I know. Isn't that great? 891 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:44,999 - [ Man yells ] - [ Ladies shriek ] 892 00:59:45,300 --> 00:59:49,099 Come on, guys, I've got a very special treat lined up for lunch. 893 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:51,699 [ Bridget ] I'm getting rather fond of Jed, 894 00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,199 and I must say he has a genuine interest in Thai cuisine. 895 00:59:55,500 --> 00:59:59,299 [ Bridget ] I wouldn't have thought omelette would be big in Thailand. 896 00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,099 - Or mushrooms, for that matter. - [ Jed ] It's magic. 897 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,899 It is a magic mushroom omelette, isn't it? 898 01:00:09,700 --> 01:00:14,099 Well, that's awful. There is nothing funny in this at all. 899 01:00:16,500 --> 01:00:18,399 Although, thank God, 900 01:00:19,100 --> 01:00:21,899 the mushrooms don't actually seem to be working. 901 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:26,699 ♪ [ Primal Scream: Loaded ] ♪ 902 01:00:27,700 --> 01:00:29,799 ♪ Just what is it that you want to do? ♪ 903 01:00:31,300 --> 01:00:35,199 Such lovely colours! [ Gasps ] 904 01:00:35,500 --> 01:00:38,399 ♪ We wanna get loaded And we ♪ ♪ wanna have a good time... ♪ 905 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:43,299 Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget! Beautiful Bridget! 906 01:00:46,200 --> 01:00:47,999 Bridget Jones! 907 01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,299 [ Daniels voice, distorted ] Bridget Jones! 908 01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:55,199 But, wait... 909 01:00:55,500 --> 01:00:58,599 - [ Daniel, distorted ] Bridget Jones? - What sound is that? 910 01:01:04,400 --> 01:01:07,399 It is Daniel Cleaver. [ Echoes ] 911 01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:11,499 [ Thinks ] How unutterably beautiful he is. 912 01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:15,599 Jones, what the hell are you doing? 913 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,899 [ Bridget ] You are lovely colours. 914 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,699 ♪ - I don't wanna lose your love... ♪ ♪ - Here. ♪ 915 01:01:25,900 --> 01:01:27,899 Here I am. 916 01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:31,199 I think you're completely off your face. 917 01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,499 - Hey. - [ Bridget groans ] 918 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,699 - Bloody hell. - [ Bridget groans and sighs ] 919 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,299 Oh... Oh, I'm an angel. 920 01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,099 Oh. How lovely. 921 01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,699 Glorious sand. 922 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:49,699 Oh. 923 01:01:49,900 --> 01:01:51,999 I want to be naked. 924 01:01:52,700 --> 01:01:56,899 - Naked as a baby. - Come on, then, angel. Up you get. 925 01:01:57,300 --> 01:01:59,199 [ Daniel strains ] 926 01:02:00,300 --> 01:02:02,199 - All right? - Mmm. 927 01:02:03,500 --> 01:02:06,799 - [ Daniel ] How are you feeling? - Completely embarrassed. 928 01:02:07,100 --> 01:02:10,299 Don't be. You're charming on drugs. In future, just say yes. 929 01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:16,299 Do you know, I never really understood why you wanted to go out with me. 930 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:20,199 - It seemed so unlikely. - Come on. For God's sake. 931 01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,399 You're sexy. You make me laugh. 932 01:02:23,700 --> 01:02:25,999 At you, of course, not with you. 933 01:02:26,700 --> 01:02:28,699 And you were... 934 01:02:28,900 --> 01:02:30,599 incidentally... 935 01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:34,099 the best shag... 936 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:35,899 I ever had. 937 01:02:36,200 --> 01:02:37,699 The best? 938 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,199 Aside from Simon Reade in the fifth-form locker room, yeah. 939 01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:44,799 Suppose I said you were pretty good too? 940 01:02:46,900 --> 01:02:48,899 Pretty good? 941 01:02:50,100 --> 01:02:52,399 Was I better than Mark Darcy? 942 01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:57,799 By the way, is it true he always says "I'm sorry, I think I'm going to come"? 943 01:02:58,200 --> 01:03:00,999 - Who told you that? - It's common knowledge, isn't it? 944 01:03:02,500 --> 01:03:05,199 Come on, Jones. Who gave who the hoof? 945 01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,499 And why? 946 01:03:08,700 --> 01:03:10,599 Let's just say 947 01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:14,099 that we suffered from a fatal incompatibility. 948 01:03:17,900 --> 01:03:19,999 I have missed you, Jones. 949 01:03:20,300 --> 01:03:22,899 I don't suppose there's any circumstances 950 01:03:23,200 --> 01:03:25,499 in which you would ever consider 951 01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,399 thinking about trusting me again? 952 01:03:31,300 --> 01:03:33,199 Absolutely not. 953 01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:43,199 Well, I suppose I'll be getting back to my little hut now. 954 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:47,599 Thank you very much, Daniel. I had a nice time. 955 01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:03,499 Is that the Big Dipper or the little one? 956 01:04:03,900 --> 01:04:05,999 I can never tell them apart. 957 01:04:06,300 --> 01:04:07,999 Definitely the big one. 958 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:11,099 You can't see the little one this close to the equator. 959 01:04:11,400 --> 01:04:14,899 Oh, please. You don't know about astronomy. 960 01:04:15,300 --> 01:04:17,699 I most certainly do. I'm passionate about it. 961 01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:23,899 You know, Jones, if stargazing is something that interests you, 962 01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:28,099 then it has to be said that the view from my balcony is quite outstanding. 963 01:04:29,700 --> 01:04:32,499 Perhaps you'd like to come up and have a little look? 964 01:04:32,800 --> 01:04:34,599 I don't think so. 965 01:04:34,900 --> 01:04:37,899 See over there? Along my arm. 966 01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,099 That's it, over there. 967 01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:43,399 That is Orion's Belt. 968 01:04:43,700 --> 01:04:48,699 And next to that is a very sexy little constellation called Ursa's Maiden. 969 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:50,200 Ah. 970 01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:53,599 She's being very naughty and trying to undo Orion's belt. 971 01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:58,699 All right, what about... that one? 972 01:04:59,900 --> 01:05:02,799 Yes, well that is a very, very famous star. 973 01:05:03,100 --> 01:05:05,399 Um, right next to, of course, um... 974 01:05:05,700 --> 01:05:06,799 [ chirruping ] 975 01:05:07,700 --> 01:05:11,899 I don't know, some other fucking star that's been there for years and years. 976 01:05:12,300 --> 01:05:15,499 Seen one star, you've seen the lot, that's what I say, Jones. 977 01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,399 Different with girls, though. 978 01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:25,499 Some girls... 979 01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,699 are special. 980 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,999 Are they? 981 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,899 I think so. 982 01:05:33,100 --> 01:05:35,399 ♪ [ 10cc I'm Not In Love ] ♪ 983 01:05:43,800 --> 01:05:46,799 What is this special power you hold over me, Jones? 984 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:58,599 And what about your therapy? 985 01:06:00,500 --> 01:06:02,499 I think you might be it. 986 01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:04,799 ♪ I'm not in love ♪ 987 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,099 ♪ So don't forget it ♪ 988 01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,899 ♪ It's just a silly phase ♪ 989 01:06:12,200 --> 01:06:14,099 ♪ I'm going through ♪ 990 01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,799 ♪ And just because ♪ 991 01:06:20,500 --> 01:06:22,399 ♪ I call you up ♪ 992 01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:25,699 ♪ Don't get me wrong ♪ 993 01:06:25,900 --> 01:06:28,699 ♪ Don't think you've got it made ♪ 994 01:06:31,100 --> 01:06:32,999 ♪ I'm not in love... ♪ 995 01:06:33,800 --> 01:06:36,499 God, I hope you're wearing those giant panties. 996 01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:37,899 Please. 997 01:06:38,100 --> 01:06:40,899 [ Smooching ] Please be wearing the giant panties. 998 01:06:41,300 --> 01:06:43,299 Please. [ Gasps ] 999 01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:45,499 Oh, my old friends. 1000 01:06:45,800 --> 01:06:48,399 Oh, Daddy's home. 1001 01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:52,399 Did you miss me? Because Daddy missed you. Yes, he did. 1002 01:06:53,400 --> 01:06:54,899 Wait. 1003 01:06:57,300 --> 01:06:58,799 Sorry. 1004 01:06:59,100 --> 01:07:01,099 Can I just have a minute? 1005 01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:03,299 Just a minute. 1006 01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:13,499 [ Thinks ] Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. 1007 01:07:13,800 --> 01:07:17,299 ♪ Big boys don't cry Big boys don't cry ♪ 1008 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:21,499 ♪ Big boys don't cry Big ♪ ♪ boys don't cry... ♪ 1009 01:07:32,000 --> 01:07:33,799 [ Sighs ] 1010 01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:38,499 - Everything all right? - Yeah, sure. 1011 01:07:39,700 --> 01:07:41,699 Just a bit... nervous. [ Chuckles ] 1012 01:07:43,000 --> 01:07:45,699 I mean, you see, if I stay with you tonight, 1013 01:07:45,900 --> 01:07:49,899 well, it's definitely the end of something... 1014 01:07:50,300 --> 01:07:52,399 important with someone. 1015 01:07:52,600 --> 01:07:55,299 Um, which has probably ended already, 1016 01:07:55,500 --> 01:07:58,399 - but perhaps... - Bridge, Bridge Bridge, Bridge. 1017 01:07:58,700 --> 01:08:00,999 Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance? 1018 01:08:03,100 --> 01:08:04,399 Hmm? 1019 01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:12,999 Except Hitler. 1020 01:08:14,700 --> 01:08:17,799 Well, he was very, very, very naughty. 1021 01:08:19,900 --> 01:08:21,299 [ Knocking ] 1022 01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:25,499 What? 1023 01:08:25,800 --> 01:08:29,199 Nothing. Er, come back later, please. Thank you very much. 1024 01:08:30,600 --> 01:08:32,099 [ Knocking ] 1025 01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:35,699 Bridge, it's nothing. Leave it. Leave it. 1026 01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:40,999 You made order for 10.30. 1027 01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:43,999 Order for what? 1028 01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:46,499 Me. 1029 01:08:46,700 --> 01:08:48,399 10.30. 1030 01:08:51,600 --> 01:08:54,199 You know, I've had it up to here with this hotel. 1031 01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:58,099 - It's been cock-ups like this all week. - [ Thai girl ] You Mr. Cleaver? 1032 01:08:58,500 --> 01:09:02,799 Yesterday, you with Maria. She say you big tipper. 1033 01:09:11,800 --> 01:09:13,699 [ Mumbles ] 1034 01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:16,299 I mean, I'm up for it if you are. 1035 01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,999 Actually, no, that was stupid. It's just one little slip. 1036 01:09:21,200 --> 01:09:24,699 Don't let it ruin what was gonna be a fantastic weekend shagathon. 1037 01:09:25,100 --> 01:09:28,199 - I don't want a shagathon. - No, nor do I. Nor do I. 1038 01:09:28,500 --> 01:09:31,399 - You're right. - You're looking for a weekend of sex, 1039 01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:34,899 - I'm looking... - For more. I feel I can change. 1040 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,499 - I absolutely can change. - I need to change. 1041 01:09:37,800 --> 01:09:39,899 I can't believe I fell for it again. 1042 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:42,899 Daniel, I really do think 1043 01:09:43,100 --> 01:09:45,799 that you should go and fuck yourself. 1044 01:09:46,200 --> 01:09:49,899 Or her. But definitely not me. 1045 01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:51,599 ♪ Think - Think ♪ 1046 01:09:51,900 --> 01:09:54,199 ♪ Think about what you're ♪ ♪ trying to do to me ♪ 1047 01:09:54,500 --> 01:09:55,999 ♪ Think - Think think ♪ 1048 01:09:56,300 --> 01:09:57,399 ♪ Let your mind go... ♪ 1049 01:09:57,600 --> 01:10:00,099 I can't believe he made up the sex therapy thing. 1050 01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:02,799 Doesn't matter. I finally learnt my lesson, 1051 01:10:03,100 --> 01:10:05,799 and it's an excellent lesson to have nailed. 1052 01:10:06,500 --> 01:10:07,999 - Fuck! - What? 1053 01:10:08,300 --> 01:10:10,599 No fucking room in the fucking suitcase. 1054 01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:13,199 There's room in mine. Give me something. 1055 01:10:13,400 --> 01:10:15,099 Great. 1056 01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:18,699 - What the hell is this? - It is a fertility-snake bowl. 1057 01:10:19,000 --> 01:10:21,299 - Ooh. - Jed gave it to me. 1058 01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:23,499 ♪ - Think think. ♪ ♪ - Let your mind go... ♪ 1059 01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:25,099 How romantic. 1060 01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:26,499 ♪ Freedom... ♪ 1061 01:10:26,700 --> 01:10:30,699 The way I look at it, in everyone's life, there's a certain amount of shit. 1062 01:10:31,100 --> 01:10:33,499 - That's true. - In the last year, 1063 01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:36,099 things have turned out pretty shitty. 1064 01:10:36,400 --> 01:10:38,499 So logically, mathematically, even, 1065 01:10:38,800 --> 01:10:41,599 it's got to be time for something not shit. 1066 01:10:42,000 --> 01:10:46,499 - [ Shazzer ] Like what? - Maybe Mark will have chucked Rebecca. 1067 01:10:46,900 --> 01:10:49,199 And he'll run to my door, 1068 01:10:49,500 --> 01:10:53,599 fall to his knees, possibly wearing a wet white shirt, 1069 01:10:54,000 --> 01:10:55,799 and beg me to come back. 1070 01:10:55,900 --> 01:10:57,099 ♪ Think - Think ♪ 1071 01:10:57,400 --> 01:11:00,099 ♪ Think about what you're ♪ ♪ tryin' to do to me... ♪ 1072 01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:05,699 Yes, I very confidently expect very, very good times ahead. 1073 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,699 [ PA ] Final call for all passengers to London... 1074 01:11:09,000 --> 01:11:11,799 Isn't he cute? Hello. 1075 01:11:12,400 --> 01:11:13,899 Hello. Oh... 1076 01:11:14,200 --> 01:11:17,099 Seems to be getting a bit excited. [ Laughs ] 1077 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,299 Oh. 1078 01:11:19,500 --> 01:11:20,899 Er... 1079 01:11:22,300 --> 01:11:25,399 - [ Shazzer ] Bridget! - It's just a misunderstanding. 1080 01:11:25,800 --> 01:11:27,399 Hold the plane. 1081 01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:29,299 Hold the plane. 1082 01:11:29,600 --> 01:11:31,599 [ Shazzer ] Excuse me! Excuse me! 1083 01:11:31,900 --> 01:11:36,499 [ PA ] All remaining passengers please report to Gate 27 immediately. 1084 01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:44,599 [ Thud ] 1085 01:11:44,800 --> 01:11:46,699 It's not mine. 1086 01:11:47,000 --> 01:11:49,299 - These yours? - Yes. 1087 01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:51,699 I mean, they're not my favourite pair. 1088 01:11:53,400 --> 01:11:55,099 [ Siren ] 1089 01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:01,999 [ Brakes screech ] 1090 01:12:04,300 --> 01:12:06,199 You can't do this. I'm English. 1091 01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:08,599 And an award-winning journalist. 1092 01:12:08,900 --> 01:12:13,199 Well, maybe not award-winning, but I have been to lots of award ceremonies. 1093 01:12:13,600 --> 01:12:15,499 [ Door rattles and clangs ] 1094 01:12:20,100 --> 01:12:21,499 [ Clang ] 1095 01:12:22,600 --> 01:12:25,399 Hello. Bridget Jones. 1096 01:12:28,100 --> 01:12:30,199 Lovely to meet all of you. 1097 01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:34,899 [ Bridget ] Oh, my bloody God and fuck. 1098 01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,599 I hope they've told the British ambassador. 1099 01:12:37,900 --> 01:12:40,499 Surely Shazzer would have raised the alert. 1100 01:12:40,700 --> 01:12:42,899 Maybe they got Shazzer as well. 1101 01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:46,599 [ Woman speaks Thai ] 1102 01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:52,899 Oh, God, 28 hours. 1103 01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,799 How much longer? 1104 01:12:56,100 --> 01:12:58,799 [ Man ] Jones. Bridget Jones, you come now. 1105 01:13:02,500 --> 01:13:03,500 [ Clang ] 1106 01:13:08,000 --> 01:13:11,099 Charlie Parker-Knowles, Assistant Consul. 1107 01:13:11,300 --> 01:13:13,499 Thank God you're here. 1108 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,099 Um, shall we... 1109 01:13:17,300 --> 01:13:20,299 I really had absolutely nothing to do with it. 1110 01:13:20,700 --> 01:13:22,599 Jed planned the whole thing. 1111 01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:25,799 That's why he snogged Shazzer, who's much older than him 1112 01:13:26,100 --> 01:13:27,999 and slightly past her peak. 1113 01:13:28,200 --> 01:13:30,699 Yes, he sounds the most frightful shit. 1114 01:13:30,900 --> 01:13:32,199 Mmm. 1115 01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:36,699 The bore is everyone who gets caught has exactly the same story, 1116 01:13:37,100 --> 01:13:41,699 so unless we find this, this Jed fellow and get a full confession, 1117 01:13:42,100 --> 01:13:44,099 you're on a bit of a sticky wicket. 1118 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,599 Well, how sticky? 1119 01:13:46,900 --> 01:13:49,099 Something like 15 to 20 years. 1120 01:13:49,400 --> 01:13:52,799 - [ Whispers ] 15 years? - Or maybe ten if we're lucky. 1121 01:13:53,100 --> 01:13:54,999 Ten years! 1122 01:13:55,300 --> 01:13:57,599 In here? 1123 01:14:10,300 --> 01:14:12,299 [ Bridget ] Very black. 1124 01:14:12,600 --> 01:14:16,499 All my life I've had the feeling something terrible was about to happen. 1125 01:14:17,500 --> 01:14:19,599 Now it has. 1126 01:14:21,900 --> 01:14:23,799 Bijjit, right? 1127 01:14:24,100 --> 01:14:25,999 Bridget, actually. 1128 01:14:26,200 --> 01:14:27,999 My name Phrao. 1129 01:14:28,300 --> 01:14:30,199 You're my friend? 1130 01:14:36,500 --> 01:14:38,499 - Steady on! - Super bra! 1131 01:14:38,700 --> 01:14:41,799 You lend me. One day, two cigarette. 1132 01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,699 Oh. [ Laughs ] 1133 01:14:44,900 --> 01:14:46,999 Well, I'll think about it. 1134 01:14:48,000 --> 01:14:50,199 Actually, I was thinking of giving up, 1135 01:14:50,500 --> 01:14:53,799 but that was before I was arrested and thrown into a Thai prison 1136 01:14:54,100 --> 01:14:56,599 for ten to 15 years. [ Laughs ] 1137 01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:59,499 Circumstances change. 1138 01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:04,699 No, it really, really is "touched". 1139 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:09,899 "Like a vir-gin, touched for the very first time". 1140 01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:11,699 - No, you wrong. - No. 1141 01:15:12,000 --> 01:15:13,799 ♪ Like a version ♪ 1142 01:15:14,000 --> 01:15:16,799 ♪ - Vir-gin. ♪ ♪ - Fucked for the very first time ♪ 1143 01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:20,699 ♪ - Touched. ♪ ♪ - Like a wersion ♪ 1144 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:22,999 [ Bridget ] Ten years of this? I. 1145 01:15:23,300 --> 01:15:25,999 Stop! Enough. Enough. 1146 01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:29,899 If you're going to do it, you really ought to do it properly. 1147 01:15:30,700 --> 01:15:35,899 After all, Madonna is nothing if not a perfectionist. 1148 01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:38,599 Five, six, seven, eight and one... 1149 01:15:38,900 --> 01:15:41,099 ♪ Like a virgin ♪ 1150 01:15:42,100 --> 01:15:45,999 ♪ Touched for the very first time ♪ 1151 01:15:46,500 --> 01:15:50,199 ♪ Like a virgin ♪ 1152 01:15:50,500 --> 01:15:52,999 ♪ When your heart beats ♪ 1153 01:15:53,400 --> 01:15:56,099 ♪ Next to mine... ♪ 1154 01:15:56,400 --> 01:15:57,899 [ Cheering ] 1155 01:16:00,500 --> 01:16:02,499 [ Bridget ] Dear Mum and Dad, 1156 01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:04,599 I'm missing you a lot. 1157 01:16:04,900 --> 01:16:07,199 Please write as soon as you can. 1158 01:16:09,900 --> 01:16:12,099 I'm feeling pretty low. 1159 01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:15,399 [ Man ] Bijjit Jone. 1160 01:16:15,700 --> 01:16:17,999 [ Inmates shout ] 1161 01:16:19,000 --> 01:16:21,399 In there. You have five minutes. 1162 01:16:21,700 --> 01:16:23,399 Just five. 1163 01:16:23,700 --> 01:16:25,599 [ Door creaks and clangs ] 1164 01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:32,999 Mark? 1165 01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:39,899 You all right? 1166 01:16:40,200 --> 01:16:42,599 Oh... [ laughs ] Fine. 1167 01:16:42,900 --> 01:16:44,499 Hmm. 1168 01:16:49,700 --> 01:16:52,599 And... scared shitless. 1169 01:16:52,800 --> 01:16:54,799 But, you know, perky. 1170 01:16:57,600 --> 01:16:59,899 I can't believe you've come all this way. 1171 01:17:00,200 --> 01:17:03,399 I haven't. I was out here handling a Foreign Office case 1172 01:17:03,700 --> 01:17:05,599 when I heard about your situation. 1173 01:17:05,900 --> 01:17:08,299 I haven't done anything wrong. 1174 01:17:08,600 --> 01:17:11,099 I promise you, it's all a big mistake. 1175 01:17:11,400 --> 01:17:13,799 Yes, well, I'm sure it is. 1176 01:17:14,100 --> 01:17:17,099 I've got all the papers here and I'm sure we can sort it out. 1177 01:17:17,400 --> 01:17:21,699 I think about you all the time. And I'm so sorry, 1178 01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:26,199 I really, really am, for everything that happened between us. 1179 01:17:26,600 --> 01:17:28,499 Yes, well... [ clears throat ] 1180 01:17:28,800 --> 01:17:32,499 We don't have much time and I need you to identify someone for me. 1181 01:17:32,800 --> 01:17:36,499 Is this the man with whom you were seen taking hallucinogenic mushrooms 1182 01:17:36,900 --> 01:17:39,499 before you spent the night with Daniel Cleaver? 1183 01:17:39,700 --> 01:17:42,399 Yes, that's him, but I think you should know... 1184 01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:45,699 The same man who gave you the snake containing the drugs? 1185 01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:48,299 Yes, that's him, that's Jed. 1186 01:17:48,600 --> 01:17:50,599 But it was Shazzer's snake, not mine, 1187 01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:53,099 and as far as Daniel Cleaver goes... 1188 01:17:53,300 --> 01:17:56,299 Your sex life doesn't concern me at all. 1189 01:18:07,800 --> 01:18:10,199 Has there been any ill treatment here? 1190 01:18:10,900 --> 01:18:14,299 No, no. Well, I mean... 1191 01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:17,899 the toilet facilities are well below par, but... 1192 01:18:18,100 --> 01:18:19,999 Good, that makes things simpler. 1193 01:18:23,700 --> 01:18:26,699 Listen, they're prepared to drop all charges against you 1194 01:18:27,100 --> 01:18:30,399 which is extremely lenient, given the circumstances. 1195 01:18:30,700 --> 01:18:33,099 You're going to be out within a week. 1196 01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:38,599 And... 1197 01:18:42,600 --> 01:18:43,899 [ zip ] 1198 01:18:46,300 --> 01:18:48,099 Goodbye. 1199 01:18:52,700 --> 01:18:54,099 Mark? 1200 01:18:54,400 --> 01:18:55,899 [ Clang ] 1201 01:19:04,700 --> 01:19:06,499 Thank you. 1202 01:19:07,200 --> 01:19:10,999 You're welcome. I'm just the messenger. The order came from above. 1203 01:19:13,300 --> 01:19:15,999 Well, good luck. Glad I could be of help. 1204 01:19:38,800 --> 01:19:40,699 So, Bijjit, what happen? 1205 01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:42,999 Well, um... 1206 01:19:44,100 --> 01:19:46,299 Bijjit! How this can happen? 1207 01:19:46,600 --> 01:19:49,599 This is terrible! You are innocent! 1208 01:19:49,900 --> 01:19:53,499 - They're always cheating us. - No, no, no. That's all fine. 1209 01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:57,099 They've dropped the charges and they're letting me go. 1210 01:19:57,400 --> 01:19:59,299 But that good news. 1211 01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:01,599 What is wrong? 1212 01:20:02,800 --> 01:20:05,399 Mark Darcy definitely... 1213 01:20:05,700 --> 01:20:08,199 doesn't love me anymore. 1214 01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:10,199 [ All ] Ohhh. 1215 01:20:10,900 --> 01:20:13,599 You see the trouble is it was me who chucked him. 1216 01:20:13,900 --> 01:20:15,999 [ Phrao ] He treat you bad? 1217 01:20:16,100 --> 01:20:17,999 Yeah, actually, he did. 1218 01:20:18,300 --> 01:20:20,499 My boyfriend treat me bad too. 1219 01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:22,399 - Me too. - [ Girl ] Mine as well. 1220 01:20:22,600 --> 01:20:23,999 [ Girl ] Me too. 1221 01:20:24,300 --> 01:20:27,599 Then you know all about it. You think you've found the right man, 1222 01:20:27,900 --> 01:20:30,199 but then there's so much wrong with him 1223 01:20:30,500 --> 01:20:34,499 and he finds there's so much wrong with you and it all just falls apart. 1224 01:20:34,900 --> 01:20:37,199 Don't tell me. My boyfriend, 1225 01:20:37,500 --> 01:20:39,399 he seem really nice. 1226 01:20:39,700 --> 01:20:43,599 Then he start to hit me. Make me work on street. 1227 01:20:43,900 --> 01:20:46,199 My boyfriend, he say he love me. 1228 01:20:46,500 --> 01:20:50,099 But he do no work, and make me work 24 hour a day. 1229 01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,599 Then he make me take heroin drug. 1230 01:20:52,900 --> 01:20:56,399 What about you, Bijjit? What your bad boyfriend do? 1231 01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:59,899 Well, er... 1232 01:21:00,800 --> 01:21:04,499 he really didn't stick up for me at this lawyers' supper... 1233 01:21:04,800 --> 01:21:09,099 and, um, then he would fold his... [ chuckles ] 1234 01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,999 Oh, same sort of thing, really. 1235 01:21:14,300 --> 01:21:19,099 Hitting me and making me take drugs. Stealing all my money and stuff. 1236 01:21:19,900 --> 01:21:24,199 [ Bridget ] Oh, God. I've been the world's biggest fool. 1237 01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:26,999 [ Gate slams ] 1238 01:21:30,400 --> 01:21:32,099 Bijjit? 1239 01:21:33,100 --> 01:21:35,899 Just a few tiny leaving presents. No luxuries. 1240 01:21:38,100 --> 01:21:39,599 [ All gasp ] 1241 01:21:39,900 --> 01:21:42,199 ♪ [ Madonna ] Living in a material world ♪ 1242 01:21:42,500 --> 01:21:44,699 ♪ And I am a material girl ♪ 1243 01:21:45,000 --> 01:21:49,099 ♪ You know that we are ♪ ♪ living in a material world ♪ 1244 01:21:49,500 --> 01:21:51,899 ♪ And I am a material girl ♪ 1245 01:21:53,200 --> 01:21:56,199 ♪ Living in a material world ♪ 1246 01:21:56,600 --> 01:21:59,499 ♪ And I am a material girl? ♪ 1247 01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:03,199 If you want something smooth on your wall, 1248 01:22:03,500 --> 01:22:05,399 you could do worse than John Currin. 1249 01:22:05,600 --> 01:22:08,599 He is about the only contemporary painter who can paint. 1250 01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:12,099 There's usually something interesting and allegorical, 1251 01:22:12,400 --> 01:22:15,199 plus of course, there is a very high perv quotient. 1252 01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:17,899 - [ Mark ] Did you see her? - Out. Out it. 1253 01:22:18,200 --> 01:22:20,499 Sorry, everyone, sorry. It's my stalker. 1254 01:22:21,800 --> 01:22:24,199 Fuck off, Darcy, some people have jobs to do. 1255 01:22:25,100 --> 01:22:28,699 Did you see her surrounded by police, dogs, handcuffs? 1256 01:22:29,000 --> 01:22:32,399 Come on, she's a big girl, she can take care of herself. 1257 01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:35,999 I'm only going to ask you one more time. Did you see her? 1258 01:22:36,300 --> 01:22:38,599 You're only gonna ask me one more time? 1259 01:22:38,900 --> 01:22:42,299 - You haven't got your wig on now, dear. - I'll take that as a yes. 1260 01:22:42,700 --> 01:22:44,899 Yes, I did see her. 1261 01:22:45,100 --> 01:22:48,399 I thought she was smuggling seashells, or mangoes. 1262 01:22:48,700 --> 01:22:49,999 Right. 1263 01:22:50,300 --> 01:22:54,399 Right, good. Will you step outside, please? 1264 01:22:54,800 --> 01:22:56,999 Oh, no, it's not possible. 1265 01:22:57,200 --> 01:23:00,599 Darcy, do you have any idea what century we actually live in? 1266 01:23:00,900 --> 01:23:04,199 Are you gonna step outside or am I gonna have to drag you? 1267 01:23:04,500 --> 01:23:06,699 I think you're gonna have to drag me. 1268 01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:08,999 [ Birds cry ] 1269 01:23:09,300 --> 01:23:11,999 ♪ [ The Darkness: ♪ ♪ I Believe In A Thing Called Love ] ♪ 1270 01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:15,699 - [ Daniel ] You're insane! - And you're a disgrace, Cleaver. 1271 01:23:16,500 --> 01:23:18,599 [ Daniel ] You're pulling my hair! 1272 01:23:18,900 --> 01:23:21,899 I'm not going in the sodding water. 1273 01:23:25,500 --> 01:23:29,399 ♪ Touching you 'Cause you're touching me ♪ 1274 01:23:31,900 --> 01:23:33,599 ♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪ 1275 01:23:33,900 --> 01:23:35,699 ♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪ 1276 01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:37,560 ♪ There's a chance we can make it now ♪ 1277 01:23:37,600 --> 01:23:39,399 ♪ We'll be rockin' till the sun goes down ♪ 1278 01:23:39,700 --> 01:23:42,799 ♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪ 1279 01:23:43,200 --> 01:23:45,599 ♪ Oooh-ooh ooh... ♪ 1280 01:23:45,900 --> 01:23:48,399 - Fuck off! - No, you're going in, Cleaver! 1281 01:23:48,700 --> 01:23:51,299 If I'm going in, you're coming with me. 1282 01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:53,399 You smug bastard. 1283 01:23:53,700 --> 01:23:55,499 [ Clamouring ] 1284 01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:57,899 - [ Daniel ] Oh, my God. - Get up. 1285 01:23:58,200 --> 01:24:00,099 [ Child laughs ] 1286 01:24:01,700 --> 01:24:03,599 Well, what are you gonna do now? 1287 01:24:03,900 --> 01:24:06,199 Drown me in 16 inches of water? 1288 01:24:06,500 --> 01:24:08,199 Yes, good idea. 1289 01:24:14,900 --> 01:24:16,399 Fuck! Stop, stop. 1290 01:24:16,600 --> 01:24:18,599 Listen, listen, listen... 1291 01:24:18,900 --> 01:24:22,999 OK, I left her at the airport. I shouldn't have done that. 1292 01:24:24,200 --> 01:24:26,199 But she bumped into Jed herself 1293 01:24:26,500 --> 01:24:29,199 and I didn't fucking well seduce her, all right? 1294 01:24:30,600 --> 01:24:33,199 - You didn't? - There's something wrong with her. 1295 01:24:33,500 --> 01:24:35,199 She's gone all frigid. 1296 01:24:35,500 --> 01:24:37,699 I spent the night with a gorgeous Thai girl. 1297 01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:40,699 Who in fact turned out to be a gorgeous Thai boy. 1298 01:24:41,600 --> 01:24:42,999 Satisfied? 1299 01:24:45,700 --> 01:24:47,299 Yes. 1300 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:49,099 Thank you. 1301 01:24:53,900 --> 01:24:55,799 You know what, mate? 1302 01:24:56,500 --> 01:25:00,499 If you're so obsessed with Bridget Jones, why don't you just marry her? 1303 01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,699 'Cause then she'd definitely shag me. 1304 01:25:06,600 --> 01:25:08,199 ♪ I believe in a thing called love ♪ 1305 01:25:08,400 --> 01:25:10,099 ♪ Just listen to the rhythm of my heart ♪ 1306 01:25:10,300 --> 01:25:13,499 ♪ I believe in a thing called love? ♪ 1307 01:25:14,800 --> 01:25:17,499 - [ Man ] Bridget! - [ Second man ] Bridget! Over here! 1308 01:25:17,700 --> 01:25:18,799 [ Reporters shout ] 1309 01:25:19,100 --> 01:25:21,299 - What was it like? - How did you survive? 1310 01:25:21,600 --> 01:25:25,799 Any girl who's been single in London knows how to handle herself. 1311 01:25:26,200 --> 01:25:28,699 - Darling! - [ Man ] Will you be going back? 1312 01:25:29,000 --> 01:25:31,499 Sorry I didn't write. I've just been so busy. 1313 01:25:31,800 --> 01:25:34,599 Hello, darling. You look lovely. 1314 01:25:34,900 --> 01:25:37,599 - Skinny, but lovely. - Oh, thank you. 1315 01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:40,899 - [ Reporters shout ] - Oh, it's good to be home. 1316 01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:43,499 - [ Mr. Jones ] Oiggy? - No, no, thanks. 1317 01:25:43,800 --> 01:25:46,899 - I've given up again. - Shame. I find them very useful. 1318 01:25:47,100 --> 01:25:51,199 I take great comfort in the fact they might kill me before things get worse. 1319 01:25:59,900 --> 01:26:02,899 The Darcys rang to say how pleased they were you were out. 1320 01:26:03,800 --> 01:26:06,499 I rather thought Mark might be here to meet you. 1321 01:26:06,900 --> 01:26:09,299 Yes, but you must remember we split up. 1322 01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,799 So no hope there? 1323 01:26:12,000 --> 01:26:13,899 No hope there. 1324 01:26:14,200 --> 01:26:18,999 Believe me, next time I will not fuck it up, Mum. 1325 01:26:19,400 --> 01:26:21,499 - Language, darling. - Sorry. 1326 01:26:22,700 --> 01:26:26,099 Next time, I will not fuck it up... 1327 01:26:27,000 --> 01:26:29,199 Mother. [ Mr. Jones laughs ] 1328 01:26:29,700 --> 01:26:31,599 ♪ [ Robbie Williams: Misunderstood ] ♪ 1329 01:26:31,900 --> 01:26:33,999 ♪ Trying to be misunderstood ♪ 1330 01:26:38,600 --> 01:26:42,099 ♪ But it doesn't do me any good ♪ 1331 01:26:46,700 --> 01:26:50,299 ♪ Love the way they smiled at me ♪ 1332 01:26:50,600 --> 01:26:53,999 ♪ Hold that face for eternity ♪ 1333 01:26:54,900 --> 01:26:58,699 ♪ Now let them all fly off ♪ 1334 01:27:02,000 --> 01:27:04,999 ♪ When it comes down ♪ 1335 01:27:05,800 --> 01:27:09,299 ♪ It all comes down ♪ 1336 01:27:10,800 --> 01:27:14,499 ♪ And you will not be found ♪ 1337 01:27:18,000 --> 01:27:20,999 ♪ When it's over ♪ 1338 01:27:21,700 --> 01:27:24,699 ♪ It's all over ♪ 1339 01:27:26,900 --> 01:27:29,999 ♪ Even if I make a sound... ♪ 1340 01:27:37,400 --> 01:27:38,999 Surprise! 1341 01:27:39,300 --> 01:27:41,099 - Hello. - Hello. 1342 01:27:41,300 --> 01:27:43,199 - [ Tom ] Oh, darling. - Hiya. 1343 01:27:44,000 --> 01:27:45,399 Bridget... 1344 01:27:45,700 --> 01:27:47,499 I'm so sorry. 1345 01:27:49,300 --> 01:27:51,399 It's all right. 1346 01:27:55,000 --> 01:27:58,799 Well, thank God for Mark Darcy. I mean, he might be a boring arse, 1347 01:27:59,200 --> 01:28:01,199 but he performed a miracle. 1348 01:28:02,500 --> 01:28:04,899 That's a bit of an overstatement. 1349 01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:08,299 He actually seems to be the villain of this piece. 1350 01:28:09,100 --> 01:28:13,699 He's a top human rights lawyer and he left it to someone else to get me out. 1351 01:28:14,100 --> 01:28:16,099 He was just a messenger. 1352 01:28:17,200 --> 01:28:19,899 - [ Tom ] Who told you that? - He did. 1353 01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:22,099 Straight from the horse's mouth. 1354 01:28:23,200 --> 01:28:25,799 The horse wasn't quite telling you the truth. 1355 01:28:26,100 --> 01:28:28,399 I called Mark the minute I landed in London. 1356 01:28:28,700 --> 01:28:30,999 We went to his office and within half an hour, 1357 01:28:31,300 --> 01:28:34,199 he'd woken two Cabinet ministers and half of Ml5. 1358 01:28:34,400 --> 01:28:38,299 But none of them could locate Jed, so Mark flew over to Interpol. 1359 01:28:38,700 --> 01:28:40,999 Which is in Lyon. They located Jed in Dubai, 1360 01:28:41,300 --> 01:28:43,799 but they don't normally extradite people, 1361 01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:47,299 so Mark rang the Home Secretary who rang our ambassador... 1362 01:28:47,600 --> 01:28:50,799 In Riyadh. Then Mark flew to Dubai where he identified Jed, 1363 01:28:51,100 --> 01:28:53,299 who was impounded and pushed out into... 1364 01:28:53,600 --> 01:28:56,499 Saudi Arabia, where Mark was waiting with the police. 1365 01:28:56,700 --> 01:29:00,999 Jed was arrested and extradited back to Britain. Then Mark flew to Bangkok, 1366 01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:04,299 to make damn sure they'd let you go. 1367 01:29:05,400 --> 01:29:06,999 Oh. 1368 01:29:11,300 --> 01:29:13,899 He was just angry about Daniel Cleaver. 1369 01:29:16,800 --> 01:29:19,699 - He must still love me. - He fucking must. 1370 01:29:20,300 --> 01:29:21,999 Taxi? 1371 01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:23,599 Yes, please. 1372 01:29:25,400 --> 01:29:27,499 [ All shriek ] 1373 01:29:27,800 --> 01:29:29,899 Get in the cab! 1374 01:29:30,100 --> 01:29:32,099 [ All shout ] 1375 01:29:33,700 --> 01:29:35,299 Hurry! 1376 01:29:59,600 --> 01:30:03,199 Oh. I forgot about you. 1377 01:30:04,500 --> 01:30:07,299 Er, I, I, I just wanted to, um... 1378 01:30:07,600 --> 01:30:09,599 say something to Mark. 1379 01:30:09,900 --> 01:30:12,199 He's at the office. Do you want to come in? 1380 01:30:13,600 --> 01:30:16,799 Oh, no. No, no, I don't think I will. 1381 01:30:18,300 --> 01:30:21,599 I really hope that you'll be happy together. 1382 01:30:21,900 --> 01:30:23,899 - Sorry? - You and Mark. 1383 01:30:24,200 --> 01:30:27,999 I really hope that you'll be very happy together. 1384 01:30:28,300 --> 01:30:30,299 No, no, no, Bridget, listen... 1385 01:30:30,600 --> 01:30:32,899 you've got it completely wrong. 1386 01:30:33,200 --> 01:30:35,399 I'm not in love with him. 1387 01:30:35,600 --> 01:30:37,799 How could I be when I'm... 1388 01:30:38,100 --> 01:30:41,099 seriously heartbroken and smitten with someone else? 1389 01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:44,599 Someone else? 1390 01:30:44,900 --> 01:30:47,499 - You, Bridget. - Me? 1391 01:30:48,300 --> 01:30:51,699 Ever since I saw you here with your hair messed that night 1392 01:30:52,100 --> 01:30:54,899 and bits of garden stuck to you. You must have noticed. 1393 01:30:55,200 --> 01:30:59,299 I try to hide it, but every time I see you, I light up. 1394 01:31:01,700 --> 01:31:03,999 I thought you were just, you know... 1395 01:31:05,100 --> 01:31:06,199 lying. 1396 01:31:06,500 --> 01:31:08,599 Was every look I ever gave you a lie? 1397 01:31:08,800 --> 01:31:10,499 I've been looking forward to this. 1398 01:31:10,700 --> 01:31:12,899 Lovely to see you, Bridget. 1399 01:31:31,100 --> 01:31:33,199 - [ Rebecca sighs ] - Thank you very much. 1400 01:31:34,700 --> 01:31:36,699 That was lovely. 1401 01:31:38,200 --> 01:31:39,999 Really lovely. 1402 01:31:40,300 --> 01:31:42,699 But I'm afraid it's still men in general, 1403 01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:46,599 and Mark Darcy in particular, that I love. 1404 01:31:47,100 --> 01:31:48,399 Right. 1405 01:31:50,500 --> 01:31:54,299 If, er, if I ever do decide to, um... 1406 01:31:55,000 --> 01:31:57,699 you know, bat for the other side... 1407 01:31:59,100 --> 01:32:01,399 well, there's no-one else. 1408 01:32:02,300 --> 01:32:03,599 Only you. 1409 01:32:06,500 --> 01:32:08,399 ♪ [ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love ] ♪ 1410 01:32:11,400 --> 01:32:13,999 - Hello, Giles. - Hello, Bridget. 1411 01:32:15,800 --> 01:32:17,799 ♪ Open up your eyes ♪ 1412 01:32:18,100 --> 01:32:19,699 ♪ Then you'll realize ♪ 1413 01:32:20,000 --> 01:32:21,599 ♪ Here I stand with my ♪ 1414 01:32:21,900 --> 01:32:23,699 ♪ Everlasting love ♪ 1415 01:32:23,900 --> 01:32:25,699 ♪ Need you by my side ♪ 1416 01:32:26,000 --> 01:32:27,599 ♪ Girl, to be my bride ♪ 1417 01:32:27,900 --> 01:32:29,499 ♪ You'll never be denied... ♪ 1418 01:32:29,700 --> 01:32:32,199 Inns of Court, please. Fast as you can. 1419 01:32:36,500 --> 01:32:38,999 What do you think of this jacket? 1420 01:32:39,300 --> 01:32:41,799 - Yeah, very nice indeed. - No, be honest. 1421 01:32:42,100 --> 01:32:45,299 What do you think of the whole jacket/trouser combination? 1422 01:32:46,100 --> 01:32:49,899 - Disaster. - Actually, can we take a tiny detour? 1423 01:32:51,100 --> 01:32:53,699 I'll be back in literally two seconds. 1424 01:32:55,500 --> 01:32:57,499 ♪ Where life really flows ♪ 1425 01:32:57,800 --> 01:32:59,199 ♪ No-one really knows ♪ 1426 01:32:59,500 --> 01:33:00,999 ♪ Till someone's there to show ♪ 1427 01:33:01,300 --> 01:33:02,899 ♪ The way to lasting love ♪ 1428 01:33:03,200 --> 01:33:06,599 ♪ Need a love to last forever ♪ 1429 01:33:07,100 --> 01:33:10,299 ♪ Need a love to last forever... ♪ 1430 01:33:16,600 --> 01:33:18,299 Oh. 1431 01:33:22,900 --> 01:33:25,999 ♪ [ Barry White: You're My ♪ ♪ First, My Last, My Everything ] ♪ 1432 01:33:30,000 --> 01:33:31,599 ♪ You're the first ♪ 1433 01:33:31,800 --> 01:33:33,399 ♪ The last ♪ 1434 01:33:33,700 --> 01:33:35,499 ♪ My everything ♪ 1435 01:33:37,300 --> 01:33:39,399 ♪ And the answer to ♪ 1436 01:33:40,200 --> 01:33:42,299 ♪ All my dreams ♪ 1437 01:33:44,900 --> 01:33:46,399 ♪ You're my sun ♪ 1438 01:33:46,600 --> 01:33:47,999 ♪ My moon ♪ 1439 01:33:49,700 --> 01:33:51,499 ♪ My guiding star ♪ 1440 01:33:53,100 --> 01:33:55,399 ♪ My kind of wonderful ♪ 1441 01:33:56,900 --> 01:33:58,599 ♪ That's what you are... ♪ 1442 01:34:00,100 --> 01:34:02,499 - You look gorgeous. - Thank you. 1443 01:34:02,700 --> 01:34:05,199 Very important at this moment. 1444 01:34:07,100 --> 01:34:09,199 ♪ There's no way ♪ 1445 01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,099 ♪ - They could have made two... ♪ ♪ - [ Shrieks ] ♪ 1446 01:34:13,400 --> 01:34:15,499 Doesn't matter. It's not about looks. 1447 01:34:16,500 --> 01:34:18,099 [ Shrieks ] 1448 01:34:18,300 --> 01:34:21,699 ♪ - Your love I'll keep for evermore. ♪ ♪ - As I was saying. ♪ 1449 01:34:22,100 --> 01:34:23,399 ♪ You're the first... ♪ 1450 01:34:24,100 --> 01:34:27,099 Excuse me, I'm looking for Mr. Darcy. 1451 01:34:27,400 --> 01:34:30,499 Down there, right along the corridor, and just to the left. 1452 01:34:30,900 --> 01:34:32,599 Thank you very much. 1453 01:34:32,800 --> 01:34:35,599 ♪ [ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love ] ♪ 1454 01:34:42,400 --> 01:34:44,899 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1455 01:34:45,300 --> 01:34:47,199 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1456 01:34:47,400 --> 01:34:49,499 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1457 01:34:49,800 --> 01:34:51,899 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... ♪ 1458 01:34:53,600 --> 01:34:56,299 I love you. I always have and I always will. 1459 01:34:59,400 --> 01:35:01,499 Oh, um... 1460 01:35:01,700 --> 01:35:04,899 I don't love you, and I never have, and... 1461 01:35:05,700 --> 01:35:08,099 I never will. Sorry. 1462 01:35:18,500 --> 01:35:20,199 Come in. 1463 01:35:25,800 --> 01:35:27,799 Hello, Bridget. 1464 01:35:28,100 --> 01:35:29,999 Hello, Mark. 1465 01:35:30,700 --> 01:35:32,399 Er... 1466 01:35:33,200 --> 01:35:35,099 I'm sorry, I'm disturbing you. 1467 01:35:37,400 --> 01:35:40,099 - Well, yes, a bit. - I'll just... 1468 01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,499 sit outside while you finish. 1469 01:35:42,800 --> 01:35:46,999 No, no, no, please, say what you have to say, young lady. 1470 01:35:48,200 --> 01:35:51,299 Mr. Santiago is the Peruvian Secretary for Trade. 1471 01:35:52,200 --> 01:35:54,299 And Mr. Herñez is his number two. 1472 01:35:55,500 --> 01:35:57,399 Hello. [ Chuckles ] 1473 01:35:57,700 --> 01:35:59,199 Hello. 1474 01:36:00,100 --> 01:36:02,099 Hello, hello, hello. [ Laughs ] 1475 01:36:06,700 --> 01:36:08,899 How can we help you, young lady? 1476 01:36:10,100 --> 01:36:11,799 Well, er... 1477 01:36:13,100 --> 01:36:14,999 Er... [ Bridget laughs ] 1478 01:36:15,300 --> 01:36:17,899 I just wanted to tell Mr. Darcy here 1479 01:36:18,200 --> 01:36:22,799 that I heard what magnificent work 1480 01:36:23,200 --> 01:36:26,099 he actually did releasing me from prison. 1481 01:36:26,400 --> 01:36:28,299 [ Muttering ] 1482 01:36:28,600 --> 01:36:34,399 Tiny, tiny misunderstanding to do with an enormous stash of cocaine. 1483 01:36:34,800 --> 01:36:37,399 And I also wanted to say, 1484 01:36:37,700 --> 01:36:41,699 since having found out that his girlfriend is actually a lesbian... 1485 01:36:42,100 --> 01:36:43,799 [ man coughs ] 1486 01:36:45,300 --> 01:36:46,899 That I love him. 1487 01:36:50,200 --> 01:36:53,099 Always have. Always will. 1488 01:36:54,700 --> 01:36:57,499 And that I'm... 1489 01:36:58,700 --> 01:37:00,099 you know... 1490 01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:02,699 available for dates... 1491 01:37:03,400 --> 01:37:05,899 if he should feel so inclined. 1492 01:37:10,600 --> 01:37:13,199 So, er, your girlfriend is a lesbian. 1493 01:37:14,600 --> 01:37:18,099 Look, if you'll all just excuse us for a second... 1494 01:37:18,900 --> 01:37:20,599 I think we should... 1495 01:37:38,900 --> 01:37:42,599 Bridget, that was not the most romantic proposition I've ever heard. 1496 01:37:43,800 --> 01:37:46,299 Well, maybe it is romantic 1497 01:37:46,600 --> 01:37:48,899 because it's not. I mean... 1498 01:37:49,200 --> 01:37:52,699 I know there's no music playing, and it's not snowing, 1499 01:37:53,900 --> 01:37:59,199 but that doesn't mean that it, that it can't really be something. 1500 01:38:01,700 --> 01:38:03,599 You're right. 1501 01:38:05,700 --> 01:38:08,599 In fact, there's a question I've been meaning to ask you. 1502 01:38:08,900 --> 01:38:11,999 All right. As long as it's not "Will you marry me?" 1503 01:38:18,900 --> 01:38:22,099 Oh, God. It is "Will you marry me?" 1504 01:38:22,500 --> 01:38:24,699 Well, I'm not gonna say it now. 1505 01:38:25,000 --> 01:38:27,499 - Is it "Will you marry me?" - The moment's gone. 1506 01:38:27,800 --> 01:38:29,899 No. No, no, no. No, wait. 1507 01:38:30,800 --> 01:38:32,299 Wait. 1508 01:38:32,600 --> 01:38:33,899 - Bridget. - Start again. 1509 01:38:34,200 --> 01:38:36,099 - No. - Start again. 1510 01:38:36,300 --> 01:38:38,199 I'm not gonna... It's... 1511 01:38:38,500 --> 01:38:41,799 We've just stepped out into the corridor, 1512 01:38:42,200 --> 01:38:44,299 you say "I've got a question to ask you" 1513 01:38:44,600 --> 01:38:46,699 and I don't say anything. 1514 01:38:52,600 --> 01:38:54,699 And... And... 1515 01:38:56,000 --> 01:38:57,499 You say... 1516 01:39:05,800 --> 01:39:08,499 Bridget Jones, will you marry me? 1517 01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:33,599 [ Vicar ] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this day 1518 01:39:33,900 --> 01:39:36,499 to unite this couple. 1519 01:39:37,100 --> 01:39:40,099 Do you affirm your love, one to the other? 1520 01:39:41,300 --> 01:39:43,499 I do. Again. 1521 01:39:43,700 --> 01:39:45,499 And Colin? 1522 01:39:45,800 --> 01:39:47,599 I do. Again. 1523 01:39:48,300 --> 01:39:50,299 As well. Of course. 1524 01:39:51,500 --> 01:39:54,099 ♪ [ Marvin Gaye Let's Get It On ] ♪ 1525 01:39:54,500 --> 01:39:58,199 ♪ I've been really tryin', baby... ♪ 1526 01:40:00,300 --> 01:40:04,099 [ Bridget ] December 31st, year-end summary. 1527 01:40:04,400 --> 01:40:06,499 Prison stays, one. 1528 01:40:06,700 --> 01:40:09,399 Lesbian kisses, one. 1529 01:40:09,600 --> 01:40:11,899 Pounds lost, minus one. 1530 01:40:12,200 --> 01:40:16,499 Boyfriends lost but then regained following major diplomatic incident, 1531 01:40:16,900 --> 01:40:18,799 one. 1532 01:40:19,100 --> 01:40:21,899 Marriage proposals, one. 1533 01:40:22,200 --> 01:40:24,599 An excellent year's progress. 1534 01:40:24,800 --> 01:40:29,599 Bridget Jones has cocked things up for the very last time. 1535 01:40:30,900 --> 01:40:32,599 [ Shrieks ] 1536 01:40:35,400 --> 01:40:37,599 ♪ [ Will Young ] Your love is king ♪ 1537 01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:40,799 ♪ Crown you in my heart ♪ 1538 01:40:41,100 --> 01:40:42,999 ♪ Your love is king ♪ 1539 01:40:44,100 --> 01:40:45,699 ♪ Never need to part ♪ 1540 01:40:46,000 --> 01:40:48,399 ♪ Your kisses ring ♪ 1541 01:40:49,400 --> 01:40:51,999 ♪ Round and round and round my head ♪ 1542 01:40:52,200 --> 01:40:54,399 ♪ Touching the very part of me ♪ 1543 01:40:54,700 --> 01:40:56,899 ♪ It's making my soul sing ♪ 1544 01:40:57,100 --> 01:40:59,599 ♪ Tearing the very heart of me ♪ 1545 01:40:59,800 --> 01:41:01,999 ♪ I'm crying out for more ♪ 1546 01:41:02,300 --> 01:41:04,199 ♪ Your love is king ♪ 1547 01:41:05,500 --> 01:41:07,299 ♪ Crown you in my heart ♪ 1548 01:41:07,600 --> 01:41:09,699 ♪ Your love is king... ♪ 1549 01:41:09,900 --> 01:41:14,699 [ Bridget ] So, as you can see, I have found my happy ending at last. 1550 01:41:15,100 --> 01:41:19,999 And I truly believe that happiness is possible. 1551 01:41:23,000 --> 01:41:26,999 Even when you're 33 and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls. 1552 01:41:27,400 --> 01:41:30,799 ♪ Your love is real? ♪ 1553 01:41:34,700 --> 01:41:36,899 ♪ [ Beyoncé: Crazy In Love ] ♪ 1554 01:41:44,500 --> 01:41:46,799 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1555 01:41:47,100 --> 01:41:49,199 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1556 01:41:49,500 --> 01:41:51,599 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1557 01:41:51,900 --> 01:41:53,899 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1558 01:41:59,100 --> 01:42:01,399 ♪ I look and stare so deep in your eyes ♪ 1559 01:42:01,700 --> 01:42:03,799 ♪ Touch on you more and more every time ♪ 1560 01:42:04,100 --> 01:42:06,199 ♪ When you leave, I'm ♪ ♪ begging you not to go ♪ 1561 01:42:06,500 --> 01:42:08,599 ♪ Call your name two, ♪ ♪ three times in a row ♪ 1562 01:42:08,900 --> 01:42:10,999 ♪ Such a funny thing for ♪ ♪ me to try to explain ♪ 1563 01:42:11,300 --> 01:42:13,799 ♪ How I'm feeling and my ♪ ♪ pride is the one to blame ♪ 1564 01:42:14,100 --> 01:42:15,999 ♪ 'Cause I know I don't understand ♪ 1565 01:42:16,200 --> 01:42:18,699 ♪ Just how your love can do ♪ ♪ what no-one else can ♪ 1566 01:42:18,900 --> 01:42:20,399 ♪ Got me lookin'so crazy right now ♪ 1567 01:42:20,700 --> 01:42:22,740 ♪ Your love's got me ♪ ♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪ 1568 01:42:23,000 --> 01:42:25,099 ♪ Your love's got me ♪ ♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪ 1569 01:42:25,400 --> 01:42:27,699 ♪ Your touch got me ♪ ♪ lookin'so crazy right now ♪ 1570 01:42:28,000 --> 01:42:30,281 ♪ Your love's got me hopin' ♪ ♪ you'll page me right now ♪ 1571 01:42:30,400 --> 01:42:32,699 ♪ Your kiss got me hoping ♪ ♪ you'll save me right now ♪ 1572 01:42:33,000 --> 01:42:34,960 ♪ Lookin'so crazy ♪ ♪ Your love's got me lookin' ♪ 1573 01:42:35,200 --> 01:42:37,499 ♪ Got me lookin'so crazy in love ♪ 1574 01:42:37,900 --> 01:42:40,099 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1575 01:42:40,400 --> 01:42:42,499 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1576 01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:44,899 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no ♪ 1577 01:42:45,200 --> 01:42:47,299 ♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh no no... ♪ 1578 01:42:47,600 --> 01:42:49,799 ♪ [ Jamie Cullum: Everlasting Love ] ♪ 1579 01:42:55,200 --> 01:42:57,799 ♪ Hearts gone astray ♪ 1580 01:42:58,000 --> 01:43:01,199 ♪ Deep in her when they go ♪ 1581 01:43:02,900 --> 01:43:05,099 ♪ I went away ♪ 1582 01:43:05,400 --> 01:43:08,799 ♪ Just when you needed me so ♪ 1583 01:43:10,600 --> 01:43:12,799 ♪ You won't regret ♪ 1584 01:43:13,100 --> 01:43:16,399 ♪ I'll come back begging you ♪ 1585 01:43:17,100 --> 01:43:18,100 ♪ Hmm ♪ 1586 01:43:18,300 --> 01:43:20,099 ♪ Won't you forget ♪ 1587 01:43:20,400 --> 01:43:26,299 ♪ Welcome love we once knew ♪ 1588 01:43:28,200 --> 01:43:31,699 ♪ Open up your eyes ♪ ♪ Then you'll realize ♪ 1589 01:43:32,100 --> 01:43:35,299 ♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love ♪ 1590 01:43:35,600 --> 01:43:39,099 ♪ I need you by my side ♪ ♪ Girl to be my pride ♪ 1591 01:43:39,500 --> 01:43:47,499 ♪ You'll never be denied everlasting love ♪ 1592 01:43:50,600 --> 01:43:53,099 ♪ Hearts gone astray ♪ 1593 01:43:53,400 --> 01:43:56,499 ♪ Deep in her when they go ♪ 1594 01:43:58,000 --> 01:44:00,299 ♪ I went away ♪ 1595 01:44:00,900 --> 01:44:04,199 ♪ Just when you needed me so ♪ 1596 01:44:05,700 --> 01:44:08,299 ♪ You won't regret ♪ 1597 01:44:08,600 --> 01:44:11,999 ♪ I'll come back begging you ♪ 1598 01:44:13,400 --> 01:44:15,499 ♪ Won't you forget ♪ 1599 01:44:15,800 --> 01:44:21,599 ♪ Welcome love we once knew ♪ 1600 01:44:23,500 --> 01:44:26,899 ♪ Open up your eyes ♪ ♪ Then you'll realize ♪ 1601 01:44:27,300 --> 01:44:30,899 ♪ Here I stand with my everlasting love ♪ 1602 01:44:31,100 --> 01:44:34,499 ♪ Need you by my side ♪ ♪ Girl to be my pride ♪ 1603 01:44:34,900 --> 01:44:38,199 ♪ You'll never be denied everlasting love ♪ 1604 01:44:38,500 --> 01:44:42,099 ♪ From the very start ♪ ♪ Open up your heart ♪ 1605 01:44:42,500 --> 01:44:50,499 ♪ Feel that you fall in everlasting love ♪ 1606 01:44:53,200 --> 01:44:56,899 ♪ Need a love to last forever ♪ 1607 01:44:57,300 --> 01:45:00,699 ♪ Need a love to last forever ♪ 1608 01:45:01,100 --> 01:45:04,499 ♪ Need a love to last forever ♪ 1609 01:45:04,800 --> 01:45:12,799 ♪ Need a love to last forever? ♪